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He’s nervous.

Oh God, he’s so nervous. Jeongguk paces around the kitchen, his eyes darting every so often at the time on the microwave. He triple checks to see if his armpits smell okay and quickly dashes to the bathroom to spray himself again.

He’s sweating like crazy, and in his neurotic state, he had managed to fuck up two batches of premade cookies. Their bottoms are burnt, but he figures Seokjin won’t care. He never really does care, because as long as Jeonggukie made it, it tastes good. Jeongguk’s heart swells. He feels his cheeks heat up and he slaps himself three times because God, he doesn’t know how he got so lucky. Seokjin is like a dream. He’s so, so, so, painfully out of Jeongguk’s league that the younger doesn’t really know how to function around him sometimes, and they’ve been together for what? Nearly a year now?

Jeongguk huffs out a sigh, moving to their living room to sit down on the couch. He’s feeling so restless, so eager and excited and anxious all at once. He licks his lips and looks toward the bedroom door.

Should I start without him...? He thinks briefly, before he shakes his head and remembers his plan. Nodding his head determinedly, he turns his head back to the black screen on his television and focuses. Tonight you’re going to ask him. Be strong, Jeon Jeongguk, you can do this.

Like clockwork, there’s the jingling of keys at their front door. Jeongguk’s head whips up eagerly, and he figures he should just fucking have a tail and some ears because he feels like a fucking pet. Seokjin bounds through the door, carrying a few bags that Jeongguk immediately swoops out of his arms.

“How was work?” Jeongguk asks, trying not to let his words come out too hurriedly. He manages to swipe a kiss from Seokjin’s plump lips before his hyung can answer.

Seokjin gives him a strange look and laughs. He has no idea what’s coming. “It was good, just long. I got a catering order so I won’t be back until late next Saturday, unless you want to help out.” Seokjin maneuvers his way around the kitchen with Jeongguk trailing close behind him. They put away their groceries as Seokjin continues on about the new menu he’s been working on for this specific event.

“They want it to be flavorful and more Western, I think,” Seokjin chats idly, stowing a few cans into their pantry. “How does paella sound, Kookie?”

“Hyung, I want to fuck you.”

Oh God, he thinks he fucked up. Okay, no, from the look on Seokjin’s face, he definitely fucked up.

Seokjin promptly drops the can of beans onto his foot, not even flinching at the impact. His jaw hangs open, eyes blown wide and a pink wave of heat crawling up his neck. Jeongguk watches the way his hyung’s throat bobs, the way his broad, thick shoulders seem to stiffen just a bit. “Uh, yeah, we can…” Seokjin clears his throat, his eyes on everything except Jeongguk. “...we can definitely do that.”

They’ve had sex before, plenty of occasions. Believe Jeongguk, he was there and present every single time. But it still made them blush like high schoolers at the mere thought of it. This time, however, it’s different. Jeongguk loves the sex he and Seokjin have, don’t get him wrong, but for once, he wants to take care of Seokjin.

Jeongguk feels the relief flood through him. He lets out a bashful smile and a bright, airy laugh. “Okay,” he says to himself, “okay.”

The groceries are left neglected on the countertops as Seokjin and Jeongguk push into their bedroom.

The press of Seokjin’s body against Jeongguk’s is unbearably hot. Jeongguk lets out a whimper against Seokjin’s lips, and Seokjin devours it. Seokjin is nothing if not confident, and Jeongguk thrives on seeing the way his boyfriend takes control--how he knows exactly what makes Jeongguk’s toes curl in pleasure, how he rakes his teeth over that one sweet spot over Jeongguk’s clavicle--he loves how Seokjin knows how good he’s making Jeongguk feel.

Usually.

“Uh, hyung,” Jeongguk pushes lightly at Seokjin’s chest. Seokjin’s chest is bare, lightly defined in just the right places and Jeongguk thanks God he gets to look at it every day, but right now Seokjin is on top of him grinding his hips down onto Jeongguk’s and Jeongguk can’t exactly think straight. His cheek is pressing into his pillow, he’s panting hard and he really, really does not want to wait anymore. He needs to bring it up again, because clearly his boyfriend didn’t get the memo.

You’re a man on a mission, don’t let him do this to you.

“Hyung,” he says again, this time firmer, more resolute. Seokjin brings his hips to an immediate halt, looking down at Jeongguk with his eyes blown wide.

He pushes himself off Jeongguk quickly. “What happened baby, did I hurt you?” Seokjin cups Jeongguk’s jaw with the palm of his hand, soft and warm and caring and loving against Jeongguk’s skin and it nearly sets him alight.

Jeongguk loves this fucking man so much he wants to burst from the seams.  

“No, you’re not hurting me, it’s just…” he bites his lip anxiously (a bad habit he’s picked up that he knows drives Seokjin crazy) looking at Seokjin with eyes filled with stars. “I want to fuck you.”

Seokjin scrunches his brows together. “Is that not what we’re doing now?”

Jeongguk reaches up to pull Seokjin into a gentle kiss. They moan against each other when Seokjin experimentally grinds their erections together again, starting up a slow pace. Jeongguk tugs lightly at Seokjin’s hair and draws his lips close to his boyfriend’s ear. “No, hyung,” he says lowly. “I want to fuck you this time.”

Seokjin’s breath catches in his throat, like the air has been knocked out of him. His hips stutter for a second before Seokjin is nodding his head, ducking it low to press kisses onto Jeongguk’s neck. “Whatever you want, Kookie,” he says back and Jeongguk’s heart flutters. He feels Seokjin smile on his skin.

They rearrange themselves on their bed, Seokjin moving to the head of it and propping a pillow under his hips. Jeongguk tilts his head in confusion and Seokjin explains that it just feels better on his back.

(“God, you’re old.”

Jeongguk gets a pillow to the face for that.

“Watch your mouth, you fetus.”)

Seokjin tells Jeongguk where the lube and condoms are, and fear begins to set in.

Jeongguk can feel his anxiousness flowing through his body. He’s shaking now, hopefully not visibly. Hopefully not enough for Seokjin to change his mind about this. Why are you nervous? He asks himself. It’s just Jin-hyung.

And then he realizes that it’s because it’s Jin-hyung. He takes a deep breath and sits down at the edge of their bed, condoms and bottle of lube gripped firmly in his hands. Seokjin sits up and goes to him, pulling Jeongguk properly onto their bed. He rubs Jeongguk’s arms cautiously.

“You okay?” He asks gingerly, concern lacing his voice.

Jeongguk wants to nod, but what comes out instead makes him want to bury his head six feet under. “I’m scared I won’t be good,” he admits. “I mean, I want to, but what if you don’t like it? Or what if I hurt you?” His voice cracks and he suddenly feels like he’s sixteen again.

“Baby, anything you give me will be more than enough.” Seokjin brings their mouths together, biting gently at Jeongguk’s bottom lip. “I can guide you through it,” Seokjin gulps thickly, looking at Jeongguk hesitantly. “If you still want to. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Jeongguk shakes his head quickly, “No, I-I want to do it. I want that.” He looks up at Seokjin through his eyelashes. “Teach me?”

How can Seokjin say no to that?

“So, I just start off with one?” His voice is shaky, his fingers are slick with too much lube, but Seokjin can’t bring himself to say anything. He watches Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow in concentration as he warms the lubricant on his fingers.

Seokjin nods his head, his eyelids drooping lazily as he runs his tongue over his lip. “Yeah, just start off slow.” He’s sure Jeongguk sees him, his legs spread open for him and he hopes Jeongguk knows just how badly he wants this too.

Jeongguk gives him a response that he doesn’t quite catch because fuck, that’s Jeongguk’s finger tracing circles around his rim. Seokjin hasn’t really touched himself there for quite some time now, it’s particularly sensitive. He lets out a noise he can’t really recall ever having made before, but it makes Jeongguk smile, so he figures it’s okay, albeit embarrassing. Jeongguk prods the tip of his finger into Seokjin’s ass, wiggling it around before he pushes it until it reaches his knuckle.

“This okay?” He asks.

Seokjin rocks his hips down, if that’s any indication, Jeongguk picks up on it. “Another?” His voice is so quiet, so wary, like Seokjin would break if he were to be any louder.

“Yeah, I’m good for another.”

If Jeongguk was careful for the first finger, he’s definitely even more so as he adds the second. Seokjin feels good, he does, but at the rate they’re going--excruciatingly slow--Seokjin won’t be properly prepared until he’s elderly.

“Jeonggukie, you can go a bit faster and add a third one. Try to move your fingers around.”

Jeongguk’s face is beet red, Seokjin notices. Beads of sweat fall down his face and his shoulders are so unbelievably tense that Seokjin realizes there’s no way he can be comfortable.

“Babe, stop.”

Jeongguk’s looks up at Seokjin with fear clear in his eyes. “Was it bad?”

Seokjin sits up and takes Jeongguk’s hands into his. “No, of course not. You’re just really nervous, we should--”

“No, I want to do this…” Jeongguk argues, huffing out in exasperation. “I just wanted it to be perfect.”

Seokjin snorts. “Jeongguk, you can’t expect everything you do to be perfect on the first try, it takes practice.”

Jeongguk goes silent. “I want to keep trying, if that’s fine with you, hyung.”

“Of course.” Seokjin leans in to kiss his cheek.  I can finish prepping myself, okay? Just watch me, so you can learn.”

Seokjin leans back against his pillows, making himself comfortable against them. It’s been awhile since he’s been this exposed in front of someone, but he figures that if Jeongguk feels nervous, maybe it’s only natural that he is too. He tries not to let it show on his face. He emulates what Jeongguk had done earlier, rubbing circles around his rim before pushing two fingers inside himself, searching for his prostate. He keens when he wiggles his finger against the bundle of nerves and lets out a moan. Jeongguk places a hand on his inner thigh, his fingers digging into his skin. Seokjin hears Jeongguk curse under his breath, and he opens his eyes to catch Jeongguk gaping at him fingering himself open. Jeongguk palms himself through his briefs, catching his lower lip between his teeth as Seokjin lets out another body shaking moan. He slips in a third finger and fucks down onto all three, moving his hips in fluid motions now.

Jeongguk’s grip on his thigh only grows tighter with each passing thrust of Seokjin’s fingers, so he figures he’s just about done.

Seokjin tugs at Jeongguk’s briefs, slipping them down and over the curve of Jeongguk’s ass. Jeongguk doesn’t take his eyes off Seokjin, not for a damn second.

“Hyung,” he manages to croak out, finally naked, finally on top of Seokjin. “You look so fucking good.” Seokjin’s never heard Jeongguk’s voice get to this octave. It’s sultry, not in the same way it gets when Seokjin fucks him into the mattress, not in the same way he sounds when Seokjin sucks hickeys onto his neck--it’s deep, smooth, haunting and holy shit Seokjin has never been harder in his life.

“Same to you,” Seokjin replies. And he’s surprised he can actually form words because he means it. Jeongguk looks so fucking good. His boyfriend’s hair is tousled, his neck has a sleek shine to it from his sweat and Seokjin doesn’t even know how that happened they haven’t even started. He lets out a light laugh, before Jeongguk kisses his lips chastely.

“Love you,” Jeongguk says to him and Seokjin nods out a response. He doesn’t need words for Jeongguk to know. Love you too.

Seokjin takes Jeongguk’s heavy cock into his hand, slicking it with lube. Jeongguk moves his hips instinctively, fucking Seokjin’s palm with fervor before Seokjin lets go. Jeongguk emits out a high pitched whine, and then Seokjin is flipping them over. Jeongguk rolls onto his back, confusion contorting his face, like he’s ready to argue with Seokjin that he wanted to top his boyfriend.

Jeongguk’s breaths are shorter now, and Seokjin feels a bit proud that he’s able to get Jeongguk like this. Just him.

Seokjin straddles Jeongguk’s hips, grinding his ass down teasingly against Jeongguk’s straining cock. Jeongguk lets out a loud gasp before he’s moaning shamelessly at the friction. Seokjin laughs, but is quickly shut up. Jeongguk brings the palm of his hand down onto Seokjin’s ass, hard and fast and Seokjin didn’t even know he liked it like that but damn does it feel good. He lets out a whimper so soft that they barely manage to catch it. They look at each other, shock written all over their faces before they let out a fit of giggles.

“This okay?” Seokjin’s voice comes out breathless and he hasn’t even put it in yet.

Jeongguk groans out in frustration. “Please, hyung, just put it in already.”

Seokjin wants to laugh but he can’t even bring himself to. He grips Jeongguk’s cock by the base of it, drawing out a groan from the younger beneath him. Seokjin sees the bead of precum dripping from the Jeongguk’s pink tip, and gulps audibly. He’s so ready. He’s so, so ready. He pushes the tip of it inside him and bites back a moan until he’s seated fully on Jeongguk. Seokjin takes a few deep breaths, looking down at Jeongguk who’s staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes.

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek, his hands gripping at the bedsheets on both sides of him as he tries not to explode from just being inside Seokjin.

He’s wanted this for so long, he is not going to fuck up now.

“Hyung--” Jeongguk’s voice is almost unrecognizable now, he doesn’t even realize he’s speaking. “I’m going to fucking die please, oh God, are you ready? Is it okay?”

Seokjin breathes in a few more times before he’s nodding his head. “Y-Yeah, I’m gonna move now.”

Jeongguk lets out a string of curses under his breath and then Seokjin is literally rolling his hips on his, gyrating them in perfect circles. Jeongguk wants to let out a scream because Seokjin is so fucking tight around him he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to last. He reaches out to grip Seokjin’s ass, fingernails embedding themselves into his boyfriend’s skin. Seokjin lets out a hiss, but doesn’t tell him to stop.

“Jeongguk, move your hips with mine.” Seokjin’s voice comes out quietly. Jeongguk nods his head, thrusting his hips upward in time with the way Seokjin drops down onto him and it feels so amazing. Seokjin reaches forward and presses a hand to Jeongguk’s chest, covering his mouth with his other. He holds back a moan, and bounces harder on Jeongguk’s cock, fucking himself open with each drop of his hips.

Jeongguk has never seen any greater sight. He takes in the picture; Seokjin’s cheeks flushed and sweaty and spread out so wide for Jeongguk. He can die happy now.

Jeongguk reaches up to pry Seokjin’s hand away from his mouth. “Wanna hear you.”

Seokjin blushes harder and moves his hips faster, his thighs flexing with each thrust of Jeongguk’s hips. “Fuck, Jeongguk… it’s good, it’s so good.”

“Yeah?”

Seokjin lets out a broken cry in response, spreading his thighs apart just a bit wider. He’s so close to hitting that sweet spot, so, so close.

Jeongguk wants that for him too. He thrusts his hips erratically up into Seokjin, their paces don’t match, they’re not in sync, but it still feels so fucking good. He can’t slow down, he doesn’t want to.

He does, however, want to make his boyfriend feel even better. Jeongguk’s mind is blank, laden with lust and love, but he moves on instinct. Jeongguk stops Seokjin (how does he manage to do that? He doesn’t even know, to be honest.) and pulls out slowly, just to push Seokjin back down onto the pillows. He makes sure to place one under Seokjin’s hips, because he’s a good boyfriend, and remembers the details. Seokjin reaches for him to kiss him and for a moment, Jeongguk lays on top of Seokjin, their mouths tangling together for a slow, languid kiss.

“Okay so far?” Jeongguk asks, a little winded.

Seokjin laughs shortly. “Better than okay, it’s fucking amazing, babe.” He brings his hands over his eyes. “Your hips... Jeongguk your hips. And your thighs… I’m gonna fuck them sometime, okay?”

Jeongguk loves it when Seokjin gets like this. In the middle of it, when Seokjin’s filter turns off, mind too clouded with sex, he tells Jeongguk the best things.

He kisses Seokjin once more before he’s pushing Seokjin’s thighs apart again and slipping in. He thrusts into Seokjin experimentally, getting a feel of the new position, before he has Seokjin moaning beneath him, legs spreading further and further apart with each thrust until his breaths are closer and closer together. Seokjin pants out hotly, his hands reaching for Jeongguk’s to hold. Jeongguk presses his palms to Seokjin’s, fucking him into their mattress as he tangles their fingers together. Seokjin feels the tears prickling at his eyes before he’s gasping out, “Fuck, there, Jeongguk, babythere.”

Jeongguk quickens his pace, rocking together with Seokjin. He unclasps their hands to take Seokjin into his palm, jerking him off to match his thrusts. Seokjin wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, pulling them closer together. They desperately search for each other’s lips and then Seokjin is coming, Jeongguk’s wrist flicking jerkily to get him to orgasm. Jeongguk thrusts a few more times, whimpering as Seokjin tightens around him, before he’s moaning into Seokjin’s neck, breathing heavily enough to send shivers down Seokjin’s spine. It’s blinding, how good it feels when Jeongguk comes inside him. They fall back onto their pillows and turn to each other.

“Best sex you’ve ever had?” Jeongguk asks, a lazy smile on his face.

Seokjin laughs, before he shrugs. “Try again next time, kid.”

Jeongguk sits up, letting out a faux-pained shriek. “We’re not sleeping until I give you the best sex you’ve ever had.”

“Jeongguk,” Seokjin rubs his eyes tiredly. But he looks at Jeongguk, who stares at Seokjin like he hung the fucking stars.

How could Seokjin say no to that?