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Chapter Text

friday kings night

[venti caramel frappucino] wait guys is it this friday
[dabdab] ye
[venti caramel frappucino] thx bam
[minghao] lmao mingyu why is your name venti caramel frappucino
[venti caramel frappucino] ??????
[venti caramel frappucino] who changed my name?
[venti caramel frappucino] wait
[minghao] new phone who dis
[venti caramel frappucino] how do i change it back
[venti caramel frappucino] I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS
[j'amie] NO ONE TELL HIM
[venti caramel frappucino] JIMIN WHY
[da₩] it's literally u tho gyu
[minghao] nobody wants one?
[dabdab] get REKT
[venti caramel frappucino] i hate you all
[da₩] cool cool listen u bringing booze friday or
[venti caramel frappucino] fukn cold dawon
[venti caramel frappucino] i see how it is

Chapter Text

yerin's really pretty, you'd have to be blind to miss that, yugyeom thinks. she's also a really great friend.

he still asks her out, though, sixteen and quite invested in relationships.

she laughs.

'i don't want to date right now,' she tells him, 'i just moved here, and i broke up with my boyfriend not that long ago, and i kind of just want to assimilate into the group without being someone's girlfriend, you know?'

yugyeom nods, not offended. 'worth a shot.'

yerin laughs. 'that's fair.'

'promise me a date when you're ready?' yugyeom asks with a grin and yerin shrugs.

'yeah, sure.'

'wait, really?' yugyeom asks, sitting up and yerin laughs at him again.

'why not, right?'

yugyeom grins. 'sweet.'

of course, yugyeom finds himself in a relationship before yerin's ready, and while minkyung and him don't last very long he's forgotten about the promise by the time they've broken up.

yerin and him remain thick as thieves, though, and they spend more time together than not.

'i think i'm done with guys,' yerin tells him thoughtfully when they're on the verge of nineteen.

'hmm?' yugyeom says, looking up from his phone.

'guys,' she repeats, 'i'm not really feeling it anymore. i think it's time my body becomes a girls only zone, you know.'

'huh,' yugyeom says. he can't say he wasn't expecting it. she always leant a bit more towards girls than guys. 'cool.'

it's only when she's about to leave a few hours later that he belatedly clicks.

'hey,' he says, almost indignant, 'you promised me a date!'

yerin laughs. 'buddy, you missed that train.'

'goddammit,' yugyeom sighs, a smile playing at his lips, 'bought the ticket and everything.'

yerin pats his arm. 'tough luck.'

'ooh,' yugyeom says, brightening, 'does that mean i get to say why are all the good one's gay?'

yerin laughs and pushes at him. 'you're utterly ridiculous.'

'you love me,' he says flippantly, and she rolls her eyes in reply.

Chapter Text


[j'amie] [> voicenote 00:28]
[jiho] that was a truly beautiful rendition of beautiful bambam
[jiho] really believed it
[jiho] you /are/ beautiful no matter what they say
[yuna] new ringtone tbh
[binnie] you want to hear bambam's drunken warbling even more?
[donkey kong] don't judge her poor life choices
[yuna] excuse you
[yuna] i happen to think it's a great life choice
[j'amie] yGUM BIT M YPHONE
[j'amie] [> voicenote 00:03]
[donkey kong] how did he manage to leave toothmarks
[lisa] tbh i'm with yuna on this

Chapter Text

VIPlans group

[yugyeom] no one cares about your stupid grades
[yugyeom] stop being so self centred
[j'amie] wow okay what the fuck
[j'amie] i just asked if anyone knew where to get the info needed for the essay
[minari] damn gyeom
[jk] why are you so pissy
[dabdab] lmao r u on your genocide runthrough of undertale
[yugyeom] fuck you
[yugyeom] yes
[dabdab] this is why you play genocide first get attached later
[jk] you monster
[jk] bambam is actually flowey
[jk] okay first of all how dare you
[donkey kong] mina do you want me to cry
[donkey kong] again
[yugyeom] i didn't expect this cruelty from you mina
[j'amie] wow even i felt that
[yugyeom] sorry jimin
[j'amie] yeah apology no longer needed babe
[j'amie] minari crushed you
[minari] tbh i only ever played pacifist
[minari] couldn't bring myself to play anything else
[minari] jihyo sent me that tho
[jihyo] what about me
[jihyo] sent you what
[jihyo] still not recovered
[jihyo] i cried like baby
[jihyo] so did mingyu don't be afraid to let it all out yugyeom
[j'amie] y'all need a support group damn
[minghao] oh jesus you two were wrecks
[jihyo] i fukn heard you sniffle hao
[minghao] i don't have tear ducts don't spread lies
[venti caramel frappucino] when tf did i cry like a baby
[venti caramel frappucino] I WILL NOT FEEL ASHAMED FOR THAT
[venti caramel frappucino] WE WERE HIS FRIEND
[minari] (harry potter voice)
[donkey kong] harrypotter.jpeg
[donkey kong] lol
[j'amie] return of the meme team

Chapter Text

group therapy

[jk] help
[jk] parents came home early
[yugyeom] lmao what were you doing
[jk] i'm high af
[jk] fukn almost swallowed the joint when i heard the door
[jk] i think my hearts going to explode
[jk] im dying
[jk] i have never opened my windows so fast
[jk] fukn lost my lighter
[jk] couldn't find my incense
[jk] sprayed cologne
[jk] couldn't breath
[jk] almost died
[jk] head spinning
[jk] save me
[dabdab] rip

Chapter Text

yugyeom almost walks into jungkook, who's looking between the food on the shelves and the lone packet of chips they'd grabbed with their mix with a look of internal struggle.

'dude,' yugyeom says. jungkook doesn't look away from the food.

'see, the thing is, right, i technically have money to buy more food,' jungkook starts, 'but i've also earmarked that money for weed.'

yugyeom snorts as jungkook continues to look conflicted before turning away determinedly.

'it's fine,' he says, 'mingyu always brings snacks. we're fine.'

Chapter Text

minghao unmute me

[da₩] when is everyone pitching
[jihyo] mom's dropping me off early but gotta run to the bottle store
[da₩] gotta do a booze run too
[da₩] does anyone else need to join
[gyujin] what time
[gyujin] for the booze run i mean
[jihyo] well imma get there at like four ish?
[jihyo] what time does the bottle store close
[da₩] like six we're good
[gyujin] so i'll aim for half four ish
[da₩] sounds good
[da₩] KAY SO 4:30 for booze run; 6 for the rest of you
[j'amie] will be part of the later lot
[j'amie] jungkook asks if u can buy him a bottle of vodka he'll pay u back
[jihyo] lmao wonder why you're only pitching later
[jihyo] yeah i got some extra cash
[j'amie] idk what you're talking about
[da₩] lolpls
[dabdab] anyone coming through from my side i need a lift
[donkey kong] yeah
[j'amie] the hell do you even mean by that
[gyujin] @bam yes
[j'amie] so we're hanging out
[dabdab] dk when u going
[donkey kong] probs later
[dabdab] k gyujin see u at like 4 then?
[dabdab] @jimin literally everyone knows u nd kookie are hooking up
[da₩] ^^
[gyujin] coolio
[jihyo] y'all aint sneaky
[donkey kong] lmao i was there when that started
[jihyo] weren't we all tho
[jihyo] didn't it start at a party
[donkey kong] yeah no i mean the first time they hooked up was a threesome
[jihyo] !!
[gyujin] lmao rn't u a supportive ex finding her new hookups n everything
[donkey kong] i do what i can you know
[jihyo] lmao obviously
[jihyo] weren't you straight
[donkey kong] still am
[donkey kong] but shit happens ;)

Chapter Text

bad movie night thurs

[venti caramel frappucino] ikr like omg
[minghao has removed venti caramel frappucino from the group]
[jihyo] okay who made minghao an admin
[minghao has removed jihyo from the group]
[j'amie] sTOP
[minghao has added venti caramel frappucino and jihyo to the group]
[jihyo] goddamnit minghao
[minghao] :D
[venti caramel frappucino] i am offend
[minghao] *offensive
[venti caramel frappucino] how dare you
[venti caramel frappucino] why do you hurt me
[yuna] everyone knows hao loves you the most gyu
[yuna] dON'T REMOVE ME
[jk has changed the subject from bad movie night thurs to horror movie night thurs]
[minghao] plus one yes
[gyujin] oh FUCK no
[gyujin has left the group]
[jihyo] he does realise he did not need to do that right
[minghao has added gyujin to the group]
[gyujin has left the group]
[minghao has added gyujin to the group]
[gyujin] i'm not doing a horror movie night
[jk] aw come on you're like the main reason i thought of it
[gyujin] fuck you jungkook
[gyujin] not happening
[jk] there'll be alcohol
[jk] probably
[venti caramel frappucino] probably
[gyujin] no
[jk] i will drag you there
[gyujin] why are you this cruel
[jk] you'll be drunk
[gyujin] I'LL cRY
[jk] exactly
[gyujin] i hate you
[yuna] aw guys leave gyujin alone
[yuna] you can cry on my shoulder gyujin
[gyujin] i'm not going
[jihyo] you are if i am
[gyujin] jisoo
[jihyo] we can cry together
[gyujin] i'll think about it
[jihyo] if you leave me to the horror fiends alone i will hunt you down and FIGHT you han gyujin
[gyujin] you can also just not go!
[j'amie] she really can't it's at her place
[jihyo] ^^^
[gyujin] there better be alcohol AND green
[jk] lmao really
[jk] you want to be paranoid after horror flicks
[gyujin] u right
[gyujin] fuck
[gyujin] k there better be no weed then
[minghao] i personally think there should be and everyone who does partake should do so
[gyujin] i think that is a terrible idea
[jihyo] my parents aren't exactly eco friendly hey
[jihyo] the house is kind of a smoke free zone
[minghao] that can be worked around
[minghao] gyu why don't you make space cake
[venti caramel frappucino] ooh haven't done that in a while
[venti caramel frappucino] jihyo what time would your parents be home
[jihyo] like five ish, bit after, whenever they get back from work
[venti caramel frappucino] can i commandeer your kitchen if i get there early
[venti caramel frappucino] i'll make them non space cake as well
[venti caramel frappucino] i'm nice like that
[gyujin] no sorry
[gyujin] oven's broken
[venti caramel frappucino] gyujin shut up
[gyujin] it was abducted by aliens
[gyujin] it ran away with the spoon
[jihyo] yeah sure i'll be there all day
[gyujin] i thought we were on the same side jihyo
[gyujin] how could you do this to me
[gyujin] i thought you didn't like horror movies mingyu
[venti caramel frappucino] i also know ditching isn't an option
[venti caramel frappucino] bitch you think i'm gna be watching? on my phone all the way
[venti caramel frappucino] possibly earphones in
[minghao] lol nice dream
[minghao] aint gna happen
[venti caramel frappucino] i'll fite u minghao
[minghao] will u now
[yuna] why are you even saying that gyu it's minghao
[yuna] he'll win any fight
[venti caramel frappucino] i AM HEAVIER THAN HIM AND WILL SIT ON HIM
[venti caramel frappucino] but yeah no also planning to get fucked up before the movies start so

Chapter Text

'is minghao coming tonight?' yugyeom asks and jungkook nods.

'fresh from china, yeah.'

'does he need a lift? i practically drive past his place anyway.'

jungkook shakes his head. 'nah, mingyu and i are going to pick him up from the... uh... the... fuck what's it called... the, uh... like a train station, but for planes? plane station.'

yugyeom stares. 'do you mean... the airport.'

'... yeah,' jungkook says, 'that.'

'did you just forget the word airport.'

'shut up.'

'plane station.'

'shut up!'

Chapter Text

'i thought you didn't drink coffee after twelve,' mingyu says as he follows jihyo inside, before catching sight of the oversized wine bottle on the kitchen counter. '... are you already drinking?'

'it's like three pm, it's totally acceptable,' jihyo defends. 'and i've just been sipping.'

'right,' mingyu says, 'you making up for lost drinking time during the term?'

jihyo laughs. 'you think i don't drink during term? when do you think i started drinking wine.'

mingyu nods. 'of course.'

'so everything's here somewhere,' jihyo says, gesturing around the kitchen, 'except the weed, obviously.'

'yeah, i got that,' mingyu says, reaching into his bag for a pringles container.

'projector's up in the garage, dawon's coming a bit earlier with a whole pile of mattresses, so we can sequester ourselves in there for the night. my parents are working tomorrow, so they shouldn't bother us.'

'sounds like fun, except for the whole horror movie part of it.'

jihyo laughs. 'you can't fight them.'

mingyu sighs heavily. 'i know. i've tried. i am taller, but goddamn, minghao is vicious.' he pauses. 'and jungkook's ridiculously strong.'

'it's also why i've started drinking already.'

mingyu pauses. 'that's actually not a bad idea. might join you once i've made the batter.'

'sure, no problem,' jihyo says.

he's making the batter for her parents when he takes a sip of her drink and makes a face. 'where did you get this wine,' he yells, jihyo at the back of the house collecting pillows and sheets.

'the bottle store!' jihyo yells back, and he thinks he's not sure she picked up on the disgust in his voice.

he's just removed the first batch of baked goods when he hears the front door open, and he has a moment of panic before dawon appears.

'you fucking scared me,' he tells her reproachfully as she comes up to give him a hug.

'can't think why,' she says sarcastically, 'this place reeks.'

'it'll dissipate soon enough,' he dismisses, 'the batch in now is... legal. jihyo's getting bedding and shit.'

'ooh, you made space cake?' dawon says, hopping up to sit on the counter, mingyu slapping away her hands from the muffins.

'yeah, minghao asked, like in that way where he's not really asking, he's telling. did you miss that part in the chat?'

dawon snorts. 'please, when i come back after a lecture to like a hundred and fifty new messages i'm not fucking backtracking, are you kidding me?'

he tilts his head with a laugh. 'yeah, okay, that's fair.'

'what's this?' dawon asks, her attention caught by the mug on the counter, reaching out for it already.

'jihyo's wine,' mingyu replies, 'i wouldn't drink it, it tastes shit. although white wine's never been my favourite.'

dawon takes a sip and makes a face.

'see?' mingyu says indignantly and he's pretty sure when dawon laughs, it's at him.

'jihyo, babe,' dawon calls, 'is there vodka in this wine?'

mingyu stops, face saying he can't believe he missed that. 'are you using wine as a fucking mix?' he yells.

'don't judge me!' comes jihyo's defensive reply. she appears in the passage after a couple moments with an armful of bedding she dumps on the floor.

'hey, gorgeous,' dawon says with a grin, hopping down to give her a hug, giving her boobs a pat for good measure afterwards. 'i dumped the mattresses in the garage.'

'thanks,' jihyo says, 'there's a few more piles of blankets and pillows to carry, if you guys wanna help.'

mingyu shakes his head, tutting. 'vodka in wine? jihyo.'

'shut up,' jihyo tells him, 'stop acting like you've never done a soju bomb.'

'it's different!' mingyu insists as jihyo picks up the bedding again.

'nope,' she tells him, 'put the muffins in a tupperware, bottom of the corner cabinet.'

'yeah, just cooling them a bit, will bring them through in a bit.'

'well, while you wait, can you go get bedding.'

'i can't say no, can i.'

'nope,' dawon replies cheerily for jihyo.

Chapter Text

it probably wasn't the best idea to fall asleep in the sun, but roseanne thinks considering they're dressed, even if it is in shorts and tshirts, they should be okay.

and it was fairly accidental, a slightly hungover minghao appearing from who knows where with the request to just lie by the pool in mostly silence. considering that's what she was already doing, she was fine with it.

it's about mid afternoon when her phone vibrates next to her head and she emerges from the depths of sleep, reaching out with a yawn.

[mingyu] jimin and i coming to hijack ur pool
[mingyu] it's fukn hot
[rose] lmao sure
[mingyu] i can literally see your gate
[rose] let yourself in

she looks over at minghao, still fast asleep on the stone tiles surrounding the pool.

'hao?' she tries. no answer. 'minghao.' nothing.

she heaves herself up and spots minghao's phone charging in the lounge.

'minghao?' she calls sweetly, reaching out to poke him with her toe.

all she gets in response is a small grunt.

really, it's too easy, too tempting, and roseanne crouches down next to him, and with a massive heave, deposits him into the water.

she skips back a few steps as there's prompt thrashing and flailing as minghao wakes up and tries to get his bearings, and then he's standing, the water coming up to his waist, arms out, clothes soaked, and water rolling down his face. he looks up at her, mouth open in aghast disbelief, and she grins behind her hands, almost unbelieving that she'd actually done that.

'you did not,' he says lowly and she can't hold back a giggle.


jimin's just swung the gate shut behind her when they hear a shriek, and roseanne comes tearing around the corner moments later, skipping and hiding behind mingyu just as a soaked minghao comes around the corner.

'save me,' roseanne pleads, mirth in her voice.

mingyu and jimin exchange a look. 'how did you do it?' mingyu asks, knowing first hand that minghao might be wiry but that doesn't mean he's weak.

'i was asleep,' minghao all but growls and jimin whistles.

'nice knowing you,' she says to roseanne.

'in my defence,' roseanne says, maneuvering mingyu to remain in front of her as minghao stalked closer. 'i did try to wake you up before resorting to that.'

'mingyu,' minghao starts.

'nope, i'm not taking a side,' mingyu preempts.

minghao darts forward, and mingyu's subjected to being stuck between a fiercely battling minghao and roseanne, before roseanne decides to cut her losses and make a break, heading back the way they'd came, minghao hot on their heels.

jimin and mingyu hear the shriek and the splash just before they rounded the corner themselves to see a sputtering and laughing roseanne rise out of the water, minghao in the water himself looking incredibly satisfied.

Chapter Text

'hey, jihyo,' jungkook says, on his knees on the other side of the table, 'remember that girl we both hooked up with at that one party that neither of us got the name of?'

jihyo blinks at him for a couple seconds before comprehension dawns. 'oh! the one with the short hair? yeah, what about her?'

'i think i may have found out who she is.'

'ooh,' jihyo says, previous conversation forgotten. 'that is good news, she was super cute.'

jungkook lets out a whimsical sigh. 'her legs.'

'they were like the length of me,' jihyo agrees, 'they were fantastic. i would marry her legs.'

'hopefully with the rest of her attached,' jimin grins and jihyo shrugs.

'i'd give it a shot. so?' jihyo says, turning her attention back to jungkook. 'who is she?'

'okay, so, my memory of that night is a little blurry, so i'm not like a hundred percent, but she had legs like damn and the same kind of hair and definitely looked familiar, so i think it's her,' jungkook shares.

'that tells me nothing.'

'we ran into yugyeom's ex earlier,' jungkook starts.

'yugyeom has an ex?' dawon interjects and yugyeom gives her an indignant look.

'bitch, what's that supposed to mean?' he demands and dawon laughs.

'no, i just meant, like, i don't remember you ever dating!' dawon explains, 'also, did you guys hook up with yugyeom's ex?'

jihyo's eyes are wide. 'i don't think i ever met yugyeom's ex. uh...'

'no,' jungkook says hurriedly, 'she was with her friend. i think it's yugyeom's ex's friend.'

'best friend,' yugyeom says, 'kyungwon's minkyung's best friend. and pretty sure they were at that party.'

'what he said,' jungkook said, pointing at yugyeom.

'so,' jimin says lazily, 'how're your relations with your ex, yugyeom?'

'good,' yugyeom replies, 'we ended things on good terms. we're still friends, kinda.'

jimin nods. 'so they're being invited to the next drinking night, right?'

'what,' yugyeom says.

'oh, come on, with this conversation, how can we not want to meet them?' dawon's grinning.

jihyo raises her hand. 'i second this motion.'

'i'm here too,' jungkook says.

'your point?' jihyo shoots back.

'oh, yeah, babe, no contest,' dawon says, giving jungkook a sympathetic look.

jungkook huffs. 'after all the hard investigating i did.'

'you literally just stood there awkwardly kind of staring,' yugyeom says dryly.

'shut up.'

'just share, damn,' bambam pipes up, reaching for the mix. 'maybe then she'll even wanna come back.'

Chapter Text

'mingyu,' jimin mutters, pushing at mingyu's shoulder where he's lying on a mattress.

mingyu just groans.

'mingyu, get up.'

'no,' he whines.

'you fucking have to, you're waking up jungkook.'

'hes not up?' mingyu cracks open an eye. 'what time is it?'

'half past six.'

mingyu gives her a pained look. 'jimin, we only start work at half past eight.'

'and we all need to shower. we can't show up smelling like breweries, there's like three kids parties coming through today.'

mingyu lets out a half sob. 'i only got to sleep at like four.'

'same. now get the fuck up and wake up jungkook, i can't.'

mingyu buries his face in the mattress in protest. 'you're the one fucking him.'

'in what world does that mean i can wake him up.'

mingyu lets out a groan and pushes himself up, looking around blearily until he locates jungkook snoring in the opposite corner of the garage. he squints around some more before picking up an empty coke bottle and chucking it at jungkook.

jungkook's eyes fly open as soon as it bounces off him and he startles up.

he blinks a few times, looking very disorientated.

'jimin's being a bitch and telling us we need to shower because laser tag has kids in today,' mingyu tells him, keeping his voice low.

jimin wrinkles her nose. 'i am so sure paintball has kids coming in today as well.'

jungkook gives a nod as he yawns widely. 'even if we didn't. why are you so gross, mingyu.'

'i'm not gross, i'm tired,' mingyu whines, flopping back onto his back.

'shut the fuck up and go shower, you disgusting cave troll,' minghao mutters irritably without opening his eyes, reaching up to blindly swat at mingyu's face.

'why do you hate me, minghao.'

'why do you hate life.'

mingyu pushes himself into a sitting position again, throwing minghao a wary look.

'i think he wants to kill me,' he whispers conspiratorially, and jimin blinks at him.

'yeah,' she says blandly, deadpan, 'probably.'

'why aren't you bitching at yugyeom to get up?'

'he's already in the shower, i kicked him on the way out of dawon's room.'

'ah, fuck,' jungkook groans from the other side of the room. 'we have to walk there, don't we?'

'unless you can magically procure us a ride, yeah,' jimin tells him and jungkook heaves a sigh.

'well, at least i'm not still drunk this time.' jungkook pushes himself clumsily to his feet, being careful not to trod on rose's hair sprawled on the mattress next to him. he sways a little and stops holding a finger up for a few moments before deciding. 'nope, didn't speak too soon. sweet.'

jimin pats mingyu's shoulder with perhaps a bit more force than necessary. 'come on,' she says on the tail end of a yawn, 'if you promise not to use all the hot water i'll even let you shower first.'

'i'll use as much hot water as i fucking want,' mingyu snipes, 'you and jungkook can just shower together, see if i care.'

this times, jimin's hand came down in far more of a slap than a pat.

Chapter Text

'rule card!' mingyu shouts, peering over minghao's shoulder, and minghao turns the card around to display the jack of hearts in his hand.

'oh, please don't reinstate the in bed rule,' yoonsun says with a laughing groan, 'we've just gotten rid of it.'

minghao grins at her, before raising his voice as if it'd combat his slurring. 'the rule is, you gotta dab after every shot you take.'

'no!' yoonsun exclaims with a laugh as a chorus of groans ring out, mingyu laughing hysterically and jungkook and bambam letting out jubilant cheers.

'look what you did!' jimin says, swinging a pillow at yoonsun to the background chorus of bambam's excited 'dab boi! dab boi!'

Chapter Text

precum of the heart

[dabdab] guys
[dabdab] you can put like
[dabdab] 256 people in a whatsapp group
[dabdab] we could add like our entire grade into this chat
[rose] please don't do that
[rose] like omg please do not do that
[dabdab] but study group
[dabdab] imagine all the answers
[dabdab] i mean we're useless
[da₩] it literally sounds like hell bam
[minghao] removing him as an admin
[da₩] tysm
[da₩] there's a fine line between genius and idiocy
[minghao] you've never crossed over onto the genius side of that line
[yugyeom] pls continue dying with your maths in silence
[yugyeom] @bam
[minghao] i was about to say
[jk] hey guys
[jk] does anyone have the exam timetable?
[da₩] .........
[yuna] jungkook exams literally start in two days
[yuna] please tell me you like
[yuna] /just/ lost it
[jk] i lost it like five minutes after we were given it
[jk] at least i'm not only asking in two days
[jk] also are we writing maths first
[yugyeom] yes
[jk] oh shit
[jk] ykw i was fucked anyway
[jk] whos good at maths and can help me pass
[yuna] how much do you understand
[jk] like
[jk] nothing
[jk] pretty much
[dabdab] rip
[da₩] are you doing core maths
[jk] ye
[da₩] why tf didn't you take maths lit
[jk] i forgot
[da₩] you forgot
[yuna] WE'RE IN GRADE 11
[jk] if i say yes are you going to yell at me
[yuna] oh my god
[rose] can u walk here jk i might be able to help
[jk] omg seriously?
[rose] i'm not fantastic at maths but i think i'm better than you
[yugyeom] that's really not hard to acheive tbh
[jk] rose ily
[rose] that's nice
[rose] bring ur shit
[jk] i'll be there in like
[jk] half an hour
[jk] maybe an hour
[jk] might bring pizza
[yugyeom] shit i wih i'd invited you here now
[rose] too late sucka
[jk] should i bring alcohol
[rose] we're going to be studying
[jk] but maths needs alcohol
[da₩] @jk fix ya life

Chapter Text

Every Day I Suffer


minghao changed this group's icon


[da₩] what the fuck is that
[da₩] minghao why tf do you have that on your phone
[dabdab] don't insult joven's worthy successor dawon
[jihyo] wow minghao you got bambam to approve an icon change
[minghao] i wouldn't change the icon if i didn't have something worthy
[yugyeom] new icon is me @ starting school again in like a week
[jk] okay guys
[jk] so i'm moving schools
[rose] but
[rose] like 95% of our friendship is based at school
[jk] hence
[jk] ""farewell"" thing at mine tuesday
[jk] or whenever my parents have pretty much given me free reign
[yugyeom] will be there from like tomorrow
[yugyeom] wrking monday but will come back
[rose] might show up later tbh
[jk] guys chill it's not like i'm like moving living places or anything
[rose] bruh we live like 4km apart and i still pm only see you at school
[da₩] no wait wtf
[da₩] why are you moving schools
[jk] ok so yk how i failed
[yugyeom] ye
[da₩] no?!?!?!?
[jk] well
[jk] fukn maths
[jk] anyway
[jk] so like my brother's girlfriend's mom or whatever works at a waldorf school
[jk] and like pulled strings and shit and got me into their 13th year
[jk] so basically
[jk] fuck doing an extra year of school
[rose] wait
[rose] you failed grade 11
[rose] and you're just doing matric anyway
[jk] yep
[minghao] lol
[dabdab] fukn legend bruh
[da₩] how tf do even get that right
[jihyo] by being jeon jungkook
[jk] ^^v
[jihyo] we have been wondering how tf he got to gr11 in the first place
[jk] yoh fukn harsh
[jimin] you literally told me you forgot lo was a subject
[venti caramel frappucino] we constantly had to tell you what class you had next
[jk] ok fair
[lisa] k but like real talk tho
[lisa] how are we going to wrangle you coming to the matric dance
[minghao] jk which teacher liked you best
[jk] fkn idk
[jk] guys school year hasn't even started yet
[lisa] this kinda shit takes prep
[jk] idk art teacher probs
[da₩] oh fucking np then we got this in the bag
[da₩] he loves me
[da₩] and by me i mean yerin
[jk] tbh the afterparty is where the real fun is
[da₩] have some imagination
[rose] what happened to the guy who hotboxed the supply cupboard
[yuna] y'all fkn did what lmao i missed that
[jk] weren't you there
[yuna] p sure i would've remembered that
[yoohyeon] that was me dumbass
[dabdab] whoa shit you're still in this chat?
[jk] oh fuck same hair right
[yuna] jfc how high were you
[jk] p fuckin high negl

Chapter Text

Every Day I Suffer

[jk] ok 1
[jk] yugyeom how could you tell your ex and her bff i was going to her school aND NOT TELL ME THEY WENT THERE
[yugyeom] thought it'd be a nice surprise
[yugyeom] you seemed quite taken by kyungwon
[jk] they recognised me and called out to me and i literally tripped over myself
[jk] so thanks for that
[jimin] lolololololol smooth jungkook
[jk] 2
[jk] i think i just got induced into a cult
[yuna] *inducted
[jk] thx
[yuna] also wut
[dabdab] school only starts like on wednesday how do you know they go to that school
[yuna] really bam you focus on that and not the cult thing
[dabdab] it's waldorf
[yugyeom] yeah no i don't blame him
[yugyeom] also since when do you know the word inducted
[jk] k well waldorf starts tomorrow
[jk] and like the "matrics" had to come in tonight for like
[jk] explanation of like how the year would work
[jk] and also to induct everyone into a cult
[jk] like
[jk] they literally called it induction
[jk] and no one fucking knew what that meant
[jk] it just sounds like witchy or like
[jk] a fukn convent or smth idk
[jk] okay so everyones like outside rigt
[jk] and i've already almost faceplanted into a wall
[jk] bc ik how to make a good first impression
[jihyo] i'm sure you made a great first impression on kyungwon
[jihyo] not as good as me but
[jihyo] what can you do
[jk] still not a hundred percent sure it was her she hasn't shown any recognition tbh
[jk] but getting sidetracked
[jk] so then like it's nighttime there's like no one at the school except us and a couple teachers
[jk] and like one by one we get called into this PITCH BLACK CLASSROOM
[jk] and like as we walk in we're handed this candle
[jk] like a tealight candle
[jk] and shown to out desk
[jk] all the desks are in a circle this school is just like round
[jk] so then theres like the entire class
[jk] which is only like 20 people
[jk standing in a circle in this dark classroom all holding lit candles
[jk] so like i already felt like some kinda macbeth three witches shit was gonna go down
[jk] or like a oujia board was about to be pulled out
[seokmin] i would've been like three miles away already at this point jfc
[jk] so then like this big candles lit in the middle of the room
[jk] yeah but i'm not a pussy so
[seokmin] wow thanks
[jk] oh yeah like as we were walking in this verse was like being read out
[jk] and by read out i mean like
[jk] chanted
[jk] which didn't help the bubble bubble toil and trouble vibe
[jk] i mean it did
[jk] ykwim
[jk] so then like there's all of us with our candles and this giant candle lit in the middle of the room
[jk] and they like read out this passage that they read every morning
[jk] and we all had to like repeated
[jk] and i was like
[jk] at least i'm by the door
[rose] that was a wild ride
[rose] what the fuck
[dabdab] so
[dabdab] you a witch now?
[jk] idk man
[dabdab has changed the subject from Every Day I Suffer to jungkook, rakdos blood witch]
[jk] damn straight i'm a legendary
[yugyeom] thas gotta be your next halloween costume tho
[jihyo] idk this card
[dabdab] lmao check this proxy as well tho

[yugyeom] u got a choice and everything
[rose] sexy
[yuna] i think i would pay to see that
[minghao] and here's exava being put tf down

[yuna] or run away screaming i'm still deciding
[dabdab] omg you shitty blue player no one likes you
[jihyo] it'd suit you kook
[jihyo] but anyway how was the school
[jihyo] aside from the whole cult thing
[rose] yeah idk anyone who goes to waldorf
[jk] idk like i havent actually had a school day yet obv
[jk] but they said they dedicate like an entire term of pe to dance
[jk] well
[jk] they either said dance or darts
[jk] not too sure
[jk] hope its dance tho
[da₩] imp q tho
[da₩] are you gna add these girls we've been hearing so much about to the chat
[jihyo] !!!
[jihyo] v imp q
[jk] damn just gimme a minute
[jk] or like
[jk] a couple days
[jk] or ask gyeom he knows them better
[da₩] i mean it's just a matter of time before they're ~inducted~ into the friend group
[rose] tbh
[rose] it won't be awkward will it gyeom?
[yugyeom] nah it's fine
[yugyeom] we still talk occasionally
[yugyeom] it's chill
[yugyeom] in fact
yugyeom has added minkyung
[minkyung] lmao dw jungkook yugyeom's told me a lot about you
[da₩] so that ship has already sailed then
yugyeom has added kyungwon
[kyungwon] oh hi! :3
[jk] wow fuck you
[rose] omg precious
[jk] wait shit not you @dawon
[da₩] oh, not me?
[minkyung] hi everyone! i'm minkyung
[da₩] ah yes the mythical ex
[yugyeom] i'm beginning to wonder if this was a good idea
[da₩] probably not
[minghao] too late if you delete them i've saved their numbers to re add
[dabdab] i love watching jungkook crash and burn

Chapter Text


jungkook turns at the call and promptly stumbles, throwing his hand out just in time to stop himself from colliding with the wall. he looks up at the approaching girls with warm cheeks.

'hey,' minkyung greets with a wide smile, 'jungkook, right? we met like, once, briefly. yugyeom said you were finishing school here, told me to look out for you.'

jungkook clears his throat. 'yugyeom said that, huh? yeah, that's me. i... yeah, i remember. meeting you.'

'i'm minkyung,' she says and jungkook nods.

'i'm kyungwon,' the girl net her introduces, holding out her hand. 'you're our age, huh?'

'i... think so?'

'when's your birthday?' she asks.

'september?' he says, unsure where the line of questioning is going and she pouts.

'goddammit, i'm still the youngest.'

'i'm third youngest now,' minkyung gloats, 'sweet.' she looks at jungkook's faintly confused face. 'we've been the babies of the class for like the entire time we've been here.'

'the joys of starting school early,' kyungwon sighs.

minkyung lean forward conspiratorially. 'actually, we made friends in preschool, and i started early, and she cried until they let her start early as well.'

'but... we're the same age?' jungkook says.

'did you miss the 13th year thing?' minkyung says with a smile.

'... right,' jungkook says, 'yeah, okay, i'm with you now. so... do they do this every year?'

'just for the matrics,' kyungwon says, 'we've been on the waldorf schooling system until now, so they want to tell us how this year's gonna work.'

jungkook nods slowly, feeling a little out of his depth. it must show because kyungwon gives a laugh.

'don't worry, we'll get you settled.'

'yeah, hey, at least you're starting kind of knowing people.' minkyung gives him a smile he returns with one filled with relief.

his eyes are wide by the time they're all led into the classroom, and he find himself directed to a desk next to minkyung, who gives him a teasing grin that looks almost sinister in the light of her candle, and he gives her a sceptical look in return.

they don't sit down immediately, like he thought they would.

'i'm not the only one who finds this weird as fuck, right,' jungkook murmurs quietly to minkyung as the teacher's reading out a verse.

minkyung lets out a very soft laugh. 'we've said a different part of the verse everyday since year one,' she whispers back, 'it's totally normal.'

he gives her a hard sceptical side eye. 'right. well, i'm just glad i'm standing by the door,' he mutters and she chokes back a giggle, swaying close enough to elbow his arm.

so maybe moving schools won't be as lonely as he thought it might be.

Chapter Text

jungkook, rakdos blood witch

[jk] guys there's a fucking pizza oven here
[jk] like it's just there in the corner of the field
[jk] like a legit woodfire clay pizza oven
[jk] on the school property
[kyungwon] do you wanna go see the chickens?
[j'amie] THERE'RE CHICKENS?!!!!!
[kyungwon] wow that's exactly what jungkook just yelled


jungkook, rakdos blood witch

[jk] guess what i just did this entire break
[jk] guess what i just spent this HOUR LONG BREAK DOing
[dabdab] jerking off
[jk] chilling on a cliffside behi
[jk] bam fuck off why are you like this
[jk] on a cliffside behind a mini forest counting the neighbouring farm's horses
[jk] there's 8 of them
[jk] also there's a neighbouring farm
[j'amie] you still haven't stolen me a chicken
[jk] get your own damn chicken
[j'amie] i am
[j'amie] you are but a tool
[dabdab has changed the subject from jungkook, rakdos blood witch to jungkook is a tool]


jungkook is a tool

[jk] i have had more picnics in the last three months then i have had in my entire life
[venti caramel frappucino] *than
[gyujin] but we have lots of picnics
[jk] getting drunk illegally on a concrete bench under a tree next to the sea at night with takeout is not a picnic
[jk] i'm talking like
[jk] proper picnics
[jk] with picnic blankets and fucking flasks
[jk] not two litre cooldrink bottles and one litre vodka bottles with no cups and polystyrene containers of subpar chips
[rose] wow way to be a snob jungkook
[da₩] waldorf's changed you
[jk] didn't say i didn't like them
[jk] i am currently sitting on a picnic blanet with a travel cup of tea and sandwiches on actual grass okay
[jk] i feel posh af
[jk] no place to get high here tho
[minkyung] that's what you think
[jk] wtf minkyung where u at hook me up


jungkook is a tool

[da₩ has changed the subject from jungkook is a tool to 1mnth coping meeting fri]
[da₩] or sat tbh
[da₩] at mine obv
[yugyeom] oh fuck yes
[jihyo] so there
[j'amie] imma try
[da₩] @new peeps aka minkyung and kyungwon you're welcome too get jk to explain how this all goes down
[minkyung] wow thanks!
[minkyung] this friday?
[dabdab] yep
[kyungwon] i'm not doing anything
[minkyung] same
[j'amie] imma try harder
[gyujin] so i'm not saying don't come
[dabdab] haha come
[jihyo] ur a Child bam
[gyujin] i'm just saying get all the info from jungkook before you make a decision
[gyujin] i have Seen Things
[da₩] yeah like you in my pajama shorts
[jihyo] *like you trying to take off dawon's pj shorts when told they meant you weren't as naked as you claimed
[gyujin] okay I brought this on myself
[rose] at least you can admit it
[j'amie] it's been a month
[yugyeom] i saw you at work last weekend
[venti caramel frappucino] ^
[minkyung] we go to school together

Chapter Text

'so what exactly is a one month coping meeting?' minkyung asks, leaning back on her elbows on the picnic blanket.

'pretty much getting fucked,' jungkook says nonchalantly, and minkyung quirks an eyebrow. 'like getting drunk,' he hastens to add. 'we like to just hang out and get drunk. dawon's mom works nights, so there's no one there so it's kind of become the main go to place.'

'and the other parents don't notice when they pick you up?'

'okay, so,' jungkook starts, 'the deal is, no one goes home. we call it a movie night, and crash there. there's a lot of mattresses.'

kyungwon laughs. 'a movie night.'

'we do watch movies sometimes,' jungkook defends, 'we had a disney night once. it was fantastic. i got drunk as fuck and cried when mufasa died. i was not the only one.'

'it sounds like fun,' kyungwon admits.

'the drinking or crying at dead lions?' jungkook asks.

kyungwon crinkles her nose. 'out of those choices, definitely the first one.'

'so, are you guys in?'

minkyung looks over at kyungwon. 'i am,' she says.

kyungwon nods. 'yeah, it sounds like fun.'

'cool,' jungkook says, smiling, 'you guys can just catch a ride with me after school on friday.'

'sounds like a plan,' minkyung agrees, lowering herself to lay down.


'hello?' comes dawon's crackly voice through the intercom.

'hi, i'm here to pick up the drugs,' jungkook says, leaning against the wall.

there's a brief silence. 'the- oh, fuck off, jungkook,' dawon says and jungkook laughs as the connection disconnects and the gate starts opening.

dawon meets them at the gate to her house, giving jungkook a light punch before hugging him tightly.

'asshole,' she says affectionately and then lets go of him, smiling at minkyung and kyungwon. 'hi! i'm dawon, it's nice to officially meet you.'

'i'm kyungwon,' kyungwon introduces, and dawon pulls her into a hug.

'that must make you minkyung,' dawon says, turning to minkyung. 'can i just say, i cannot imagine you dating yugyeom. why would you do that?'

'hey, gyeom's not that bad,' jungkook protests.

'just cos you've sucked his dick,' dawon tosses at him and minkyung gapes in delight.

'i have not,' jungkook says, albeit slightly hesitantly.

dawon winks at him. 'haven't you?'

'fuck you guys,' jungkook complains, 'stop exploiting my black outs.'

dawon laughs and turns back to minkyung. 'nah, i'm kidding, yugyeom's hot, i can't lie.'

minkyung laughs. 'yeah.'

'so, my mom's still asleep, i've gotta wake her up now, if you guys wanna dump your stuff in the garage so long,' dawon tells them, 'mingyu was complaining about food the entire day at school today, so he's getting here a bit early to throw things in the oven, i think.'

jungkook presses his hand to his heart. 'ah, my soulmate. i've missed him.'

'you work together,' dawon says dryly and jungkook waves it off.

'he's only my soulmate when he brings food, the asshole doesn't bring food to work.'

dawon rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the girls. 'do you guys smoke?'

minkyung nods. 'on occasion.'

'can you roll?'

'not particularly well,' minkyung admits.

dawon sighs. 'are we really going to have to wait for minghao to get here?'

'i'm not bad,' kyungwon pipes up.

'she actually rolls the most beautiful joints,' minkyung says, 'most of the time.'

dawon immediately links her arm with kyungwon. 'you're my new best friend,' she informs her, 'and i'm putting you to work, if that's okay.'

kyungwon laughs in slight surprise. 'that's totally fine with me.'

dawon grins. 'oh, we're gonna get along great.'


'hi,' jihyo greets after the rest of the mob she'd arrived with has greeted. 'i'm jihyo.'

a slight flush rises on kyungwon's cheeks and her eyes dart between jihyo and jungkook. 'oh,' she says and jimin claps excitedly.

'oh my god, it totally was you they both hooked up with that night!' she crows and minkyung's eyebrows fly up before she starts laughing. 'you definitely live up to the hype, just gotta tell you,' jimin adds, and kyungwon buries her face in her hands.

'i have spent the last forever wondering,' jungkook declares indignantly, 'how come she's the one who prompts the memory?'

'oh, she totally knew it was you,' minkyung assures him, wrapping her arm around kyungwon.

'i didn't know you knew each other,' comes the muffled whine from behind kyungwon's hands.

'so,' dawon says with a grin and a clap, 'now that my mom's gone, joints or alcohol first?'

jimin puts a hand on dawon's shoulder. 'sweetheart,' she says almost condescendingly, 'obviously both.'


'when i was young,' seokmin starts, contemplating the joint passing around, 'i was like, i'm never going to do drugs. now i'm like-' he pauses to take a hit, passing it on and waiting a beat before exhaling and continuing. 'now i'm like, i probably won't do meth.'

bambam nods seriously from where he's mixing lemon twist and vodka in the jug. 'good policy,' he says, 'words to live by.'

'what about not opening a second litre bottle of vodka for thirteen people?' kyungwon says, cheeks already quite flushed where she's curled up in the corner, using minghao as a support.

'well, that's just unrealistic,' bambam replies solemnly.


maybe it's because half the group had migrated inside, or maybe it's because yugyeom likes to provoke situations when he's drunk, but whatever the cause, the fact is that after the second bottle of vodka dwindles to nothing, gyujin ends up undoing yugyeom's pants with intent.

'no, i'm out,' jihyo hiccups through her laughter, stumbling up and making her way to the door, 'i'm not watching this.'

'no, don't leave me here!' mingyu burbles, using jungkook's shoulder to lever himself up, reaching out to take jihyo's hand when he was close enough.

jihyo spares one last glance behind, letting out a scandalised giggle as gyujin pulls yugyeom's dick out.

'i'm just saying,' yugyeom's telling gyujin, 'if you do a good job, your gender won't even matter.'

'oh my god,' minkyung's laughing from where she's cuddled up with rose, 'does this happen often?'

rose shakes her head, fingers mostly covering her eyes. 'i can safely say this has never happened before.'

'are you tryna get in on the action?' jungkook demands as bambam's hand that isn't covering his eyes ends up patting jungkook's crotch.

bambam bring his hand down to shoot jungkook a betrayed look, before galncing down and pulling his other hand away. 'i was trying to hold your hand for support.'

'i don't need support,' jungkook declares boisterously.

'i fucking do!' bambam exclaims, then glances over just as gyujin takes yugyeom in his mouth. 'oh my god!' in one swift movement, bambam covers his eyes again and grabs jungkook's hand with his free hand.

'ow, ow, motherfucker!' jungkook yelps, swatting at bambam's wrist to try get him to loosen his grip.

'minkyung!' kyungwon warbles a minute or so later, swaying onto the doorframe for support. minkyung looks up at her with a grin. 'they're watching weird stuff, minghao's pulled up like nazi thomas the tank engine videos, i don't like it.' at this point, kyungwon looks towards the movement in the room and her eyes widen as she stares as if at a trainwreck. 'oh my god.'

'what the fuck,' comes dawon's voice behind kyungwon, 'i just went to the fucking bathroom, what the hell, why.'

'to challenge yugyeom's heterosexuality,' rose pipes up, eyes fixed pretty determinedly on the door.

dawon's head appears around the door frame to meet rose's gaze. 'i repeat. why.'

rose can only shrug.

'no, babe, come, you don't wanna see that,' dawon's voice floats in again, her hand reaching out to tug kyungwon out with her.

'you fucked that?' kyungwon hisses in what she clearly thinks is a quiet voice, looking at minkyung with wide, faintly impressed eyes, pointing loosely in the direction of yugyeom, before dawon succeeds in pulling her out with a laugh, leaving the garage in hysterics.

dawon reappears after yugyeom's stumbled inside, eyeing gyujin lying on the mattress warily. 'and the verdict?' she asks.

'gyeom gets whiskey dick!' jungkook crows. 'y'all are fucking lying about me going down on him!'


'no, i'm straight,' minkyung says for the umpteenth time, trying to explain, 'but i enjoy hooking up with girls.'

'lalisa's like that!' rose says excitedly.

'see, it is a thing!' minkyung exclaims. 'like i would totally make out with you.'

'oh my god, yes,' jungkook breathes, eyes wide.

'i would so be down for that,' rose says, 'like. so down.'

'this is the best night of my life,' jungkook declares emotionally several minutes later, when rose's hand is sliding up along minkyung's top to lightly cup her breast as they kiss languidly and deeply. 'i'm in heaven. i have the best view. i want this to be burned onto my retinas forever.'

'i don't know,' gyujin says, almost falling asleep where he's leaning against jungkook, 'i've never been that into two girls making out.'

jungkook gives him an offended look, and rose breaks away from minkyung to gape at gyujin over minkyung's shoulder.

'what?' rose demands, 'how?'

'i'm not saying i don't enjoy it!' gyujin protests sleepily, 'i'm just saying it doesn't quite live up to the hype for me!'

'are you broken?' rose asks.

'i feel betrayed,' jungkook tells him, 'i thought you were my pan pal.'

'like i'm a straight female, and i watch lesbian porn to get off sometimes,' minkyung says with a laugh. 'for a while it was the only thing that did it for me.'

rose points at minkyung, nodding furiously.

'i'll do it for you!' jungkook volunteers, looking at minkyung earnestly, his hand half raised.

minkyung laughs and reaches out to pat his shoulder. 'it's okay, i don't need help. you know sometimes you just get like really horny and need to let off some steam?'

'literally just call me,' jungkook insists, 'it can be like three in the morning, i don't care, i will get there.'

'jungkook, it's fine,' minkyung says, grinning widely.

'no, but like, it's always better with someone else, right? i will be that someone else, like just sex? i can so do that.'

'shh,' minkyung soothes, 'really, like, i'm more than fine, i got myself off like. thirteen times in a row this one time.'

'jesus christ,' gyujin mumbles.

'marry me,' rose says.

'i'll get you off fifteen times!' jungkook declares, 'twenty times even! i can do it!'

'fuck off, jungkook, she's mine tonight,' rose tells him, winding her arms around minkyung's waist.

'oh, please,' jungkook says with a content grin, immediately subsiding, 'don't let me stop you.'

rose rolls her eyes at him and mumbles 'as if,' before minkyung turns and kisses her again.


the house is quiet the next morning, out of respect for dawon's sleeping mother as well as the unfortunate ones among them, people gradually waking up and moving around.

'if you all have money, we should go to mcdonald's,' dawon yawns.

jungkook groans almost pornographically. 'i will even sponsor a couple people if it means we go to mcdonald's,' he says.

eventually, everyone's mostly gathered, leaning against each other in half asleep hugs, minkyung pursing her lips together to hold back a laugh when she sees yugyeom and jungkook.

yugyeom returns her gaze with a resigned look. 'yeah,' he says, 'just. don't even. just leave it.'

jungkook snorts with laughter before he catches minkyung's eyes and his smile drops, his eyes going wide with horror as he freezes. 'oh my god,' he says, 'did i-?'

rose bursts into laughter at his face.

'oh my god, i am so sorry,' he tells minkyung, 'i am so sorry.'

'what?' yugyeom asks looking between minkyung and jungkook. 'what happened?'

'so sorry,' jungkook repeats.

'it was sweet,' minkyung tells him, 'don't worry about it.'

'i want to die,' jungkook moans, burying his face in his hands.

'what happened?' yugyeom whines plaintively.

Chapter Text

'ugh, town sucks,' minkyung complains, a faint smell of smoke clinging to her clothes as they head to get food, leaving the public gardens behind them.

jungkook raises an eyebrow for a second. 'isn't being stoned supposed to make you nice.'

'i'm a fucking delight,' minkyung says dismissively.

'town's not that bad,' kyungwon says, trying and giving up on leaning her head on minkyung's shoulder as they walk, her arm linked with minkyung's. 'the bazaar's nice.'

'you can get just as good food where i live at the same price,' minkyung dismisses.

'gardens is nice,' jungkook comments lazily.

'no, it's not,' minkyung says, 'because either you're there with your kids and there're people smoking weed, or you're trying to get high and there are fucking kids around.'

kyungwon dissolves into giggles at minkyung's side, and jungkook can't hold back his own laughter, even though he tries.

'so why are we here, then?' jungkook asks once he's managed to control himself, 'this was your idea.'

minkyung raises an eyebrow at jungkook and kyungwon raises her hand, shooting him an amused grin.

jungkook blinks and then raises a finger. 'i promise i don't think you two are the same person.'

'oh, we know,' kyungwon assures him, 'after all, certain offers are only extended to some of us.'

'some-' jungkook cuts himself off with a groan. 'oh god, can't we just let that go, please.'

'never,' kyungwon giggles.

'it was one time.'

'oh, but you offered fifteen times,' minkyung teases.

'you told me twenty,' kyungwon joins, and jungkook covers his face with his hands.

minkyung gives a little teasing gasp. 'oh, he really is ambitious, isn't he.'

jungkook can feel his ears burning even as he drops his hands and lifts his chin. 'you know what?' he says, 'yeah. fuck it. i stand by it. you have my number. the offer stands.'

minkyung raises her eyebrows with a renewed laugh. 'does it now? say, kyungwon, you can tell me, is it worth it?'

'well, obviously i didn't quite get the full ride,' kyungwon says, voice filled with mirth, 'but if i remember correctly there was some potential.'

'i'm leaving,' jungkook tells them, speeding up, his cheeks still burning. 'i'm fucking walking away.'

'aw, come on!' minkyung calls after him, laughter in her voice.

'don't you want food?' kyungwon joins, and jungkook stops in his tracks.

'so fucking much,' he groans when they catch up to him. 'i want so much food. i need it to live.'

minkyung pats his shoulder with her free hand. 'most people do.'

'shut up.'

Chapter Text

[jk] i just had the best day at work ever
[jk] I floated through the day
[jimin] as a waiter?
[jimin] like I know your boss introduced you to your dealer and is like cool and stuff
[jimin] but you fucking hate waitering
[jk] yeah but bossman brought in brownies
[jk] with beautiful marijuana oil in
[jk] and when my high was fading at like lunch his brother brought in more
[jk] half the cafe was stoned for most of the day
[jk] most chill day ever
[jk] I got decent af tips
[jimin] ok sounds pretty ideal for a minimum wage job
[jk] are you at laser tag tmrw?
[jimin] yeah
[jk] can I catch a lift to the field?
[jimin] you're not exactly on the way
[jk] k but
[jk] are you doing anything tonight
[jimin] u wanna crash here?
[jk] if that's chill
[jimin] should be fine
[jimin] like I mean pitch I can ask my parents when they get home
[jk] cool
[jk] I'll see you now
[jimin] bring chips

Chapter Text

talk dirty to me

[dabdab] GUYS
[dabdab] IT'S OFFICIAL
[dabdab] EVER
[dabdab] BEHOLD
[jimin] you're such a fucking meme my god
[dabdab] okay but tell me it isn't the best thing you've ever seen
[donkey kong] i want
[donkey kong] bring it to me
[dabdab] is craft beer so expensive af
[donkey kong] BRING IT TO ME
[donkey kong] IT IS NECESSARY
[donkey kong] BOI
[jimin] are you getting other beer as well?
[dabdab] like probs i can't fund everyone craft beer i'm broke
[minghao] maybe stop buying clothes then
[dabdab] okay blasphemy though hdu minghao

Chapter Text


[j‘amie] has anyone heard from jungkook recently
[j'amie] I've just had radio silence
[gyujin] I've heard nothing
[minkyung] he has been pretty awol lately
[yugyeom] right shit I was meant to tell you
[rose] did u make us miss his funeral
[yugyeom] he lost his phone
[yugyeom] rose tf
[rose] that's def far preferable news
[j'amie] yk i'm not even surprised
[gyujin] he's working can't he buy another one
[yugyeom] he's on top of a fucking mountain miles from civilisation
[yugyeom] they don't sell phones up there
[yugyeom] and he can't exactly pop down to the nearest town
[yugyeom] also he spends like 90% of his money on alcohol bc he says it's too cold
[rose] well he wanted to go work at a fucking ski resort for 3 months
[j'amie] of course he spends all his money on alcohol
[gyujin] how'd he get hold of you then
[yugyeom] we competed to see who could memorise the others number quickest in like grade 10
[yugyeom] he still remembers mine and it hasn't changed
[yugyeom] he used the office phone when he was working in reception and was bored af
[yugyeom] he was just sitting there drinking the complimentary sherry for the guests
[minkyung] dude I miss him when's he coming back
[yugyeom] yoh right in front of me and everything
[minkyung] :*
[j'amie] month, month and a half isn't it?
[yugyeom] yeah thereabouts



yugyeom has added jk
[da₩] who tf
[jk] this is my new number do with it what you will
[venti caramel frappucino] THE PRODIGAL SON HAS RETURNED
[minghao] *the fourth horseman of the apocalypse
[da₩] you're number one through 3 right
[minghao] love you too babe
[da₩] ❤❤❤
[jk] ok ignoring whatever freaky shit is going on there for now
[jk has changed the subject from CAT TRIBAL DECK MFERS to jjk appreciation shindig]
[minghao] aklok
[jk] listen I typed a by accident and then just kinda gave up
[minghao has changed the subject from jjk appreciation shindig to turn up 4 aklok @ jk's]
[da₩] informative and savage I love it
[jk] ok srsly did I miss something while I was away
[da₩] ;)
[minghao] ♥♥
[rose] how was the mountain?
[jk] drunk af coworker who didn't stay in my room pissed on my roommates stuff was hysterical
[jk] also almost landed on a roof when I tried snowboarding
[jk] had to literally dig myself out of reception when the snowstorm happened
[jk] also am I the only person seeing that
[rose] seeing what
[jk] minghao sending hearts to someone
[minghao] dawon
[venti caramel frappucino] bruh it's totally normal

Chapter Text

[yerin] hey
[yoohyeon] hey
[yoohyeon] I had fun last night
[yerin] so did I
[yerin] we should do it again sometime
[yoohyeon] like
[yoohyeon] tonight maybe?
[yerin] that soon?
[yoohyeon] gotta get to that third date asap
[yerin] I knew you were only in it for my body
[yoohyeon] haha and then what ;)
[yerin] burn it with fire
[yerin] you don't need to get to the third date
[yoohyeon] I know
[yoohyeon] still want to though
[yoohyeon] if that's okay with you

Chapter Text

minghao approaches dawon and slings an arm around her waist, pressing his lips to her cheek.

'hey, babe,' she purrs, sliding her hand over his stomach.

'okay, literally what the fuck,' jungkook says, nonplussed, 'when did this happen?'

'when did what happen?' minghao asks innocently, his thumb hooked into dawon's jeans pocket.

jungkook gives him an indignant look. 'this!' he exclaims, gesturing wildly between minghao and dawon, and minghao bursts into laughter.

dawon steps away from minghao, grinning wildly. 'we're just fucking with you, man.'

jungkook blinks at them. 'wait, seriously?'

'uh, yeah,' dawon assures him.

'…okay, but you two have never been that touchy with each other,' jungkook says, gesturing between the two again.

dawon and minghao glance at each other and shrug not quite in unison.


jungkook narrows his eyes at them. 'weird way to fuck with someone,' is all he says.

'don't react so well, then,' minghao returns, then reaches out to swat dawon's ass. 'we could have kept that going way longer.'

dawon laughs and hipchecks him as jungkook looks on suspiciously. 'but it would come between my relationship with jihyo's boobs.'

'would it?' minghao asks with a teasing smile.

'couldn't risk it,' dawon replies gravely and minghao tilts his head in acknowledgement.

'can't argue with that.'

'i am so… something right now,' jungkook cuts in, eyeing them warily. 'it's somewhere between confused and unsettled, it's weirding me out.'

dawon raises an eyebrow at him. 'chill, kook. it's not that big a deal.'

'uh huh,' jungkook replies, but is cut off before he can continue by a yell of his name, and he gives them one last side eye before going to greet the new arrivals.


jungkook's been staring for a little while before he turns away determinedly, looking at jimin who's leaning against mingyu, her legs over jungkook's lap.

'so like earlier they said they were just fucking with me and they're not a thing but that-' he jerks his thumb to where dawon's straddling minghao behind an armchair, attached at the mouths, drinks forgotten next to them, '-is not fucking with anyone anymore. like level with me, are they actually a thing?'

'who are you talking about?' mingyu asks, confused, and jimin makes grabby hands at jungkook until he takes them to pull her up so she's in his lap and can see from his vantage point. she immediately bursts into giggles and reaches back for mingyu who levers himself up to kneel over jungkook, who suddenly feels quite crowded.

mingyu snorts and falls back, jungkook shifting jimin off him again when he has the space.

'they hooked up like a month or so ago but that's it,' jimin shares and waves yugyeom over.

'i don't think they've been in the same place since,' mingyu adds, taking the joint yugyeom offers.

'who are we talking about?' yugyeom asks as mingyu hands the joint over to jungkook after jimin shakes her head at his offer.

'dawon and minghao are hooking up again,' mingyu tells him, and yugyeom's eyebrows raise.

'gyeomie~' jimin coos, 'get me another beer?' she smiles winningly up at him as he gives her an unimpressed look.

jungkook's eyeing the half-hidden couple again. 'so when you say they hooked up-' he starts.

'they fucked,' jimin cuts in and mingyu coughs on smoke as his exhale turns into a laugh.

'so like they're basically dating,' jungkook says.

'you know that doesn't constitute dating,' jimin tells him, amused.

'yeah, but not everyone's a commitment phobic ho like me.'

'it's hao,' mingyu points out, 'gonna take some time before he gets his act together.'

jimin cranes her head to look up at mingyu. 'are you saying he likes her?'

'no,' mingyu replies easily, 'but i'm not saying he doesn't like her either. why, does she like him?'

'too early to say for sure,' jimin rejoins and the two of them narrow their eyes at each other. jimin sticks her hand up in the air. 'spies?'

'spies,' mingyu agrees, shaking her hand awkwardly.

'that looks fucking ridiculous,' yugyeom comments lazily, joint back in hand.

'shut up,' jimin says, 'where's my drink?'

'up my bum,' yugyeom rejoins.

'well, damn,' jimin giggles, her eyebrows raised suggestively, 'that's impressive.'

yugyeom grins at her lasciviously, and repositions himself with his thumbs hooked in his pockets, hips jutted out. 'it's on tap, comes out the front.'

mingyu and jungkook collapse into laughter as jimin lets out a laughing yelp and yugyeom dodges her flailing limbs with a laugh.

'imma break that tap,' she threatens, 'imma fucking break it.'

Chapter Text


[jk] GUYS
[jk] FUCK
[dawon] what
[rose] omg does jeon jungkook have a crush
[jk] ew fuck no boy got a good dick
[jk] fuckbuddy thing
[jk] so he comes over earlier right
[jk] and this is now like the third time we've hooked up or smth
[jk] and he's all like 'aw yeah say my name'
[jk] no you can't make me~
[rose] omg you don't know his name
[jk] I mean I do now i like trawled through our chat to see if he mentioned it
[jk] but like yeah I had no clue
[yuna] how did you not know his name by the third time???
[jk] like we ain't like speaking friends
[jk] and I was so not focussed on his name
[yuna] well what's his number saved as on your phone
[rose] booty call #35
[j'amie] fuccboi #4
[jk] lol
[jk] like i have his number saved

Chapter Text


[j'amie has changed the subject from trash to ITS TIME TO GET SPOOPY]
[j'amie] halloween at the bell
[j'amie] who's in
[jk] lay the full plan on me
[j'amie] okay pregame at yerin
[yugyeom] nice and close i approve
[j'amie] no one asked
[j'amie] then head to the bell when it's no longer restaurant vibes
[j'amie] then maybe beach after?
[mina] oooh watch the sun rise
[j'amie] yES
[jk] cool what time we meeting at yerin
[yerin] just pitch pretty much whenever tbh my parents are going out
[yerin] i mean you can get there before they leave as well
[j'amie] just get ready there tbh
[yugyeom] isn't ready just like clothes
[rose] omg yugyeom if you don't dress up i swear i will dress you up
[yugyeom] dressing up is still just clothes
[j'amie] BORING
[da₩] i'll be there
[venti caramel frappucino] will there be candy
[jk] james we're going out drinking
[venti caramel frappucino] why the fuck are you calling me james
[venti caramel frappucino] and your point
[jk] bring candy if you want
[rose] please bring candy
[jk] tbh yeah
[j'amie] so it's settled: there will be candy
[venti caramel frappucino] k i'm in
[minghao] sure probs
[luda] i think i can actually make this one
[da₩] luDA
[da₩] yes my babe come through
[rose] omg it's been forever
[luda] retail is soul sucking
[jk] yeeee it's looking to be a partay
[j'amie] why do you talk like this
[jk] i haven't slept
[j'amie] go SLEEP YOU ASSHAT




[j'amie] ugh cannot handle the hotness
[jk] i honestly thought you weren't wearing pants for a second
[da₩] i'm not you
[jk] that was
[jk] that was one time
[minghao] we're almost there
[jk] yeah but i almost bought this and went as ash ketchum

[j'amie] omg WHY DIDN'T YOU
[da₩] honestly you getting arrested would've been so worth it
[rose] that sounds sexual imma just throw that out there
[jk] also nah it's expensive m8 i don't buy bongs
[jk] i save my money for weed
[minghao] or spend it all on weed before you saw that
[jk] and that
[jk] we are having a great night okay
[da₩] the sexiest pirate to have ever sailed the seven seas is also done

[jihyo] oh baby shiver my timbers
[jihyo] also come let me in i'm downstairs


'ooh, won't you slytherin to my chamber of secrets!' jungkook calls with a grin as they walk up the road and minghao lets out a snort next to him. 'i mean. other way around. let me slytherin to your chamber of secrets.' jungkook puts a hand over his face. 'i need to think before i talk.'

'you'll learn one day,' dawon assures him with a grin.

'you'll have to settle for the mirror of erised, darling,' jihyo shoots back, her cloak swirling around her ankles as she comes to give them all hugs.

'you guys are useless. no costumes?' dawon asks.

'i'm using yerin's facepaint,' jungkook tells her, 'i'm a trick or treater.'

'i have a costume,' mingyu protests, pointing at the devil horns on his head.

dawon snorts as jihyo laughs, and reaches up to take them off his head, plonking them on minghao.

'that's more like it,' she says with a grin and minghao narrows his eyes at her.

'now i don't have a costume.'

'oh, there's something for you upstairs,' dawon assures him.

'fake witch!' yoohyeon yells as soon as she sees jihyo.

'witch in training,' jihyo shoots back, 'nice hat.'

yoohyeon tilts the pointed hat on her head. 'thanks, it was my mother's.'

dawon heads over to lalisa, sitting crosslegged on the bed.

'lisa, darling, you're going to have a couple costume,' dawon tells her, 'and i'm going to need to borrow these.' she reaches out for the floppy dog ears headband on lisa's hair.

'as long as it's not with bambam,' lisa responds.

'i heard that!' bambam's voice comes floating over from where he's smoking out his eyes at the mirror, his rich red vampire's cape draped over the back of his chair. 'fuckin' rude.'

'mingyu tried to be a devil,' dawon tells her and lalisa laughs.

'why does everyone laugh at that,' mingyu complains, ducking his head down so dawon can fix the ears onto him.

'it's just not you,' lalisa tells him sympathetically.

'but now you don't have ears,' mingyu points out

'easily fixed,' dawon dismisses. 'yerin, do you have two small hairties?'

yerin (donning a beehive and cateye liner, a match to the tattoo on her bicep) laughs and uncurls herself from yoohyeon's side. 'obviously. i'll get them for you now.'

'you're an angel,' dawon tells her with a smile.

'um, i think you'll find that's me,' jimin says, appearing in the doorway, in a white dress with white wings, shimmery white makeup flaring out from her eyes, a halo wobbling over her head. she looks jungkook up and down.

'i'm getting yerin to paint my face,' jungkook says immediately, and jimin nods.

'good. there're shots in the kitchen.'

'we will be right there,' dawon says, tying two ponytails into loops on the top of lalisa's head.

'give us a few minutes!' rose cries from where she's straddling luda's lap, doing her makeup, a vision in black lace, her eyes smoked black and gold, white and gold dots accentuating the curves of her cheekbones and cupids bow. 'i'm almost done!'

'mingyu's gotta complete his transformation anyway,' dawon says, reaching for the facepaint yerin left for her, beckoning mingyu over.



[gyujin] are you guys still at yerins
[yugyeom] yep you gonna pull in
[gyujin] yeah i'm heading over there now
[gyujin] i was gonna go chill at yuna but /apparently/ binnie neglected to tell me that the quiet night in was HORRoR movIES
[yoohyeon] omg yubin is that why you abandoned me
[yubin] look i'm still not drinking
[yubin] im still recovering
[yoohyeon] from jk's birthday?
[yubin] I AM SCARRED
[j'amie] ooer
[yubin] binnie is safe i'm staying with binnie she's my favourite virgo
[gyujin] all virgo's are horror fiends out to make my life miserable
[donkey kong] How Could You Leave Me Here
[gyujin] how could you not tell me
[donkey kong] All Alone You Have Left Me
[gyujin] your girlfriends house your problem
[binnie] wimp
[gyujin] yes i fukn am
[j'amie] gyujin do you have a costume
[gyujin] no
[yerin] yes you do


gyujin's handed a shot as soon as he walks though the door by yugyeom in a bloody doctor's coat.

'wow, prompt service,' gyujin says.

'you gotta catch up!' jungkook shouts from the couch, and yerin slaps his shoulder.

'do you want me to paint your face or not?' she demands.

'i asked you to just do a shitty skeleton, does it matter if i yell and fuck it up?' he asks.

'yes. shut up,' yerin tells him and he obediently shuts his mouth.

'and the girls have an outfit for you and are waiting for you in the bedroom,' minghao says from next to him.

gyujin eyes the doorway to the bedroom apprehensively as it opens and luda slips out, dressed in a white velvet bodysuit, white and pastel coloured shimmers coating most of her face, stars painted carefully down her cheeks, a gold horn tied to her head.

'i'm a unicorn!' she declares proudly, throwing her arms open wide.

gyujin takes the shot.

'nice body suit,' he says.

'thanks,' she replies, 'would you believe it was in my mom's closet?' she gives a little burp and makes a pained expression as a tiny puff of smoke emerges from her mouth.

gyujin blinks. 'what just happened,' he says, 'how.'

jungkook reaches up to pause yerin in her task, chortling. 'luda here forgot how to smoke.'

'i didn't really smoke with you guys in school!' luda complains, 'and you just said breath it in twice and that was not helpful!'

'it's what i always do, and i have never inhaled it so wrong i ended up burping smoke,' jungkook replies.

'that has got to be so bad for you,' gyujin says in disbelief.

luda pouts a little. 'yeah. i'm going to go drink more. gyujin, you're wanted in the bedroom.'

'should i be scared?'

'only if you're a pussy!' luda calls as she disappears into the kitchen.

'hasn't it been established that i am?' he asks plaintively.

'it's not a cat outfit,' yerin tells him, putting the final touches on jungkook's face, 'though that would have been very fitting.'

'that does not make me feel better,' gyujin informs her as he heads to the bedroom anyway.


'that is just a piece of material,' yugyeom comments when gyujin emerges from the room, glitter in his hair, eyebrows, and down the side of his face, a swath of pink chiffon draped around his waist and shoulder, tucked into his boxers for security, pink children's fairy wings attached to his back, and drink in hand.

'it is itchy as fuck,' gyujin informs him.

'so i guess you're crashing here, then,' luda says with a laugh, 'so you can get your clothes.'

'luda, darling, we're not crashing anywhere,' dawon says, coming out after gyujin. 'are we all ready to go?'

a murmur of assent goes around the room, and jungkook stubs out the joint he's holding in the ashtray next to him as he nods.

'let's go then,' jimin says, leading the charge to the door.


'what do you want?' jungkook asks over the music, and rose shrugs.

'i dunno. gin and tonic?'

'yes,' jungkook says emphatically, sweat plastering his hair to his smudged facepainted forehead. he lifts up his hand wave over the bartender. 'could i have two double gin and tonics?' he asks and the bartender leans in closer.

'excuse me?'

'two triple gin and tonics,' jungkook says and rose looks at him in faint confusion.

'did you just say tr-' jungkook shushes her.

rose stares with wide eyes as the gin is poured over ice, and topped up with tonic water, and takes the finished drink with mild trepidation.

'this is like three quarters gin,' she says as she stirs it.

'and it's delicious,' jungkook tells her after taking a sip of his own drink.

rose isn't sure if it's because she's drunk so much already, but when she takes a taste of her own, she's inclined to agree.


mingyu barrels into jimin's back as she stands at the bar and she lets out a shout of surprise.

'what are you-!'

'no, look, look over there,' mingyu hisses in her ear, hands on her waist. 'on the other side of the bar.'

jimin looks over, trying to find what mingyu is talking about. 'what am i looking at.'

'by the curve. minghao is totally buying dawon a drink.'

jimin's eyes light up as she spots them. 'oh my god, they're standing so close!'

'this is totally happening,' mingyu insists and jimin nods vehemently.

'i agree. they're so vibing. so much.'

'has she said anything?'

'not really, no. has he?'

mingyu groans and stamps his feet a little. 'he's been so evasive.'

jimin narrows her eyes across the bar as the bartender approaches with her drink. 'we will get to the bottom of this.'


it's a bit past midnight when jungkook pauses mid-conversation with yugyeom, turns, and strides towards the bathroom. yugyeom blinks after him before following along curiously, recoiling when he looks in to see jungkook bent over the sink, spitting the last remnants of vomit out of his mouth. it's with a morbid fascination that yugyeom peers in again to see jungkook running the tap, carefully making sure the sink is completely clean, rinsing his mouthout and washing his hands. he does one last survey and then nods and heads out the bathroom.

'you good?' yugyeom asks, trailing behind him as he walks past and jungkook starts a bit.

'yeah, i'm great,' he says and collides with the bar. 'hey! can i get... two shots of jager?' he turns to yugyeom. 'do you want? four shots of jager!' he turns back to yugyeom, leaning heavily against the bar as the bartender gathered the shotglasses. 'where'd my candy bowl go.'

yugyeom snorts. 'dude, that is long gone.'

jungkook makes a face. 'that's very disappointing. i hope i at least ate most of it.'

'i think you were throwing it at people.' yugyeom holds up a shot for an air clink.

'that sounds about right,' jungkook sighs and throws back the first shot.


dawon hands a swaying jimin a drink and jimin blinks up at her in gratitude.

'oh my god,' she blubbers, 'i love you, you're the best person. wait. wait.' she shoves the drink back into dawon's hands and goes to wrestle the halo alive band off her head, her hair sticking up every which way. 'here, you deserve this.'

dwon ducks down to let jimin put it on her head, laughing a bit as she does so.

'she's already a superhero though,' bambam burbles and jimin shushes him, taking her drink back.

'okay, but batman's an emo shit and dawon is an angel of pure light and heaven, okay.'


it's probably not advisable to walk for half an hour in the wee hours of the morning, but they couldn't all fit all of them in one uber and are loathe to be separated and really, lalisa says, they're basically a mob, so they make their way stumbling down the sidewalk, making a stop at a garage store to get energy drinks and snacks.

'i'm going to be so broke after this,' yoohyeon mourns as she hands over the last of her cash.

they make it to the beach in one piece, despite many, many stumbles, yerin pulling the alcohol she'd fetched from her house out of her backpack.


gyujin's lost the material, leaving it back at yerin's during the alcohol pick up, having added a hoodie. he has jungkook leaning against him, limpbodied, having to make a huge effort to sit up straight. mina's on his other side, hand travelling up jihyo's thigh as jihyo kisses gyujin, seated comfortably on his lap.

jungkook jolts back to reality when jihyo breaks away from gyujin and leans in to kiss him, mina reaching up to tilt gyujin's jaw towards her and kissing him.

they can see the sea, everyone spread out along the boardwalk. they're on the concrete benches under a couple trees that had been claimed as a kind of base, the backpack, alcohol, and some headwear was stacked. lalisa has fallen asleep, curled up with bambam's cape on the bench. no one seems to have quite noticed them.

luda just lets out a small shriek when she wanders past and notices them, gyujin and jungkook lazily making out while jihyo still has a hand cupped on gyujin's neck as she kisses mina, mina's hand cupping her breast through her shirt. jihyo break away to wink at a now furiously giggling luda turning back and blinking when mina's pulled gyujin towards her, before shrugging and leaning over to kiss jungkook.


they're all awake to watch the sunrise, the last of the vodka being mixed with energy drinks, lalisa claiming a full bottle to her own as she sits there, blinking at the rays of light peeking over the horizon.

jungkook's not the only one who's not entirely steady on their feet, but he is the only one who is barely mobile, yugyeom and mingyue working together to deposit him on the slide as they begin to huddle around the play area, murmurs starting up to figure out how to get home.

'we need a phone with airtime,' dawon says definitively.

'i have airtime,' rose pipes up, 'but my phone's dead. i took too many pictures.'

'okay, we need a phone that has airtime and battery life,' dawon says with a laugh, leaning against minghao, and mingyu flaps a hand at jimin that quickly turns into a little slap fight before dying out with a yawn.

'i have airtime,' jungkook slurs, 'so much airtime.'

yugyeom manages to get jungkook's phone out of his pocket, his face brightening when the screen lights up.

'...jungkook, what's your passcode?'

jungkook shrugs. 'i'ono. one two three four?'

yugyeom looks at jungkook, unimpressed. 'it's a pattern passcode.'

'well, fuck,' is jungkook's emphatic reply.

'hey, guys,' yoohyeon pipes up, 'guys.'

yerin tilts her head to look up at her.

'happy halloween.'

Chapter Text

[lisa] drinking and tryna figure out how to listen to trance and watch a show at the same time
[lisa] the struggle is real
[jeffrey] why you messaging me about it like i'd have the solution tho
[lisa] also find a trance party we can go to man i'm feeling this in my SOUL
[jeffrey] it's not season though
[lisa] no but srsly next earthdance
[jeffrey] yessssss
[jeffrey] we can make a thing of it
[lisa] earthdance is a Thing
[lisa] i will get you into a flower crown

Chapter Text

[bam] lisa i'm boooooored
[lisa] k
[bam] entertain me
[lisa] how exactly am i meant to do that
[bam] ;)
[lisa] you're actually the worst you know
[bam] aw come on
[bam] *cum on
[lisa] i'm blocking you oh my god
[lisa] fuck off
[lisa] go ask yugyeom for your "favours"
[bam] ew
[lisa] exactly
[bam] lmao k but in all seriousness
[bam] entertain me
[lisa] bruh idk man go smoke ajoint or something
[bam] nah i'm out and also lazy af
[lisa] k well then tough shit
[lisa] /i/ have plans to attend to

Chapter Text

'mingyu, go make us some food,' jungkook asks, curled up on the couch next to mina.

'what do i get out of it?'

'sexual favours,' jungkook says promptly, and mina pushes him with a laugh.

mingyu whines. 'why me?'

jungkook gives him an exaggerated gasp. 'are you expecting mina to cook because she's a woman? how sexist of you.'

mingyu gapes at him. 'it's not even my house!'

'go,' jungkook says imperiously, shooing mingyu, 'go make us food with your magic woman hands.'

'how is that not sexist?!'

Chapter Text


[da₩] holy shit
[da₩] guys
[da₩] so we just cleaned out the empty bottle stash
[da₩] aka the bottles we were too ass lazy to take to the bin room
[minghao] who's we
[da₩] jihyo jimin and me
[da₩] u all remember how like we were pretty good up until like not that long ago
[jihyo] and have thrown away at least half of our bottles and stuff
[yugyeom] how bad was it
[da₩] my dude
[da₩] all from the garage cupboard
[j'amie] *and your room
[dabdab] lmao you guys actually rinsed and recycled all of it?
[j'amie] respect the planet motherfucker
[j'amie] idek wanna know what the rubbish guys are gonna think lmfao
[da₩] or anyone else in the complex who might go into the bin room
[jihyo] those are all litre bottles of russian bear btw not the 750mls
[venti caramel frappucino] this is why i take a day to recover from out gatherings
[rose] all of my 3 day hangovers have been from drinking with you motherfuckers
[kyungwon] honestly sometimes you guys drink like you want to die
[jihyo] lol
[minghao] *finger guns*
[jungkook] ugh
[jungkook] my parents found an empty vodka bottle in my room and flipped their tops
[jungkook] i'm not allowed to close my door anymore
[jungkook] they don't like my incense either bc like ash and shit
[jungkook] luckily they don't count mostly closed as closed so i can get away with that
[jungkook] so i've still managed to be fairly consistently high at home
[minghao] the Struggle
[jungkook] i can't wait until i have my own place and can be a functional drunk

Chapter Text

[jungkook] post up bitch
[jungkook] minkyung wants to go music shop trawling in town
[jungkook] there's some record store she wants to check out and also a large music store
[rose] yeS
[rose] how are you getting to town
[rose] how am i getting to town
[jungkook] minkyung says tell yoonoh
[jungkook] get him to come too
[rose] k he says yes
[rose] so we'll see you there?
[jungkook] yeah at the station?
[rose] sounds good m8



'you guys seem close,' yoonoh comments dryly as rose and minkyung sway in a tight embrace.

'we hooked up, so we're basically best friends now,' rose tells him as they separate and his eyebrows fly up.

'yeah, regretting missing that party now,' yoonoh sighs and jungkook nods.

'you're gay as fuck,' minkyung laughs.

'and you're straight, your point?' yoonoh shoots back, and jungkook pats him on the shoulder.

'it was truly magnificent,' he tells him gravely, 'really should have been appreciated by more people.'

'pervert,' minkyung tells him, voice pricked with amusement.

'i prefer appreciator of art,' he informs her loftily, 'and it was art.'

rose slings an arm around jungkook's shoulder with a laugh. 'i've missed you,' she says, 'maths isn't the same without you there.'

'we're literally in the same maths class,' yoonoh says dryly.

'yeah, but you work most of the time,' rose explains.

'stop pretending you're not a good student,' yoonoh tells her.

'it's not by choice,' she sighs, letting her arm fall from jungkook's shoulders and instead linking arms with minkyung. 'so, what's the first stop?'


'they're so pretty,' rose sighs, looking at the guitars hanging on the wall while jungkook taps at cymbals on the other side of the store.

'you play?' minkyung asks and rose nods.

'one of my strings snapped the other day, it's so annoying.'

minkyung nods. 'it is frustrating. do you play nylon or steel strings?'

'currently, nylon,' rose responds, 'why?'

'i've been wanting to get a steel string acoustic, and i was just wondering if you knew any good ones,' minkyung says, her eyes running over the models on display.

'are you planning to get one today?' rose says with a laugh and minkyung shrugs.


'oh,' rose says, 'well. i'm not sure?'

minkyung flashes her a brilliant smile. 'help me choose?'

'you're asking me to play around on guitars?' rose asks, 'because definitely.'


'oh, rose,' minkyung says, as they leave the music store. 'here.'

rose takes the pack of nylon strings, faintly confused. 'okay?'

'they're for you,' minkyung explains, 'you said your string snapped.'

rose's jaw dropped. 'are you serious?' she exclaims, 'oh my god, i actually love you, you so did not have to?'

'i wanted to,' minkyung says with a smile, 'you can tune my guitar in payment.'

rose squeals and bounces up to give minkyung a kiss on the cheek.

'i ship it,' jungkook whispers to yoonoh, and promptly gets shoved because of it. 'what?'


they're sitting around in the gardens, a joint being passed discreetly around while rose plucks at the strings of minkyung's new guitar.

'you want?' minkyung asks, offering the joint when she sees rose looking longingly at it.

rose shakes her head as yoonoh snorts. 'i can't,' she says, 'i've failed my last two drug tests, i can't fail another one, i'll get kicked out of school.'

'your school has drug tests?' minkyung asks and jungkook laughs.

'i never got randomly selected for those,' he says happily and yoonoh holds his hand out for a high five.

'yeah, fail one, and you're fucked,' rose says miserably, 'like maybe don't even breathe on me, honestly, it may be too close.'

jungkook discreetly exhales in the opposite direction of her.

'we've never had random drug tests at waldorf,' minkyung says, amused, 'or any drug tests.'

'yeah, i can't decide if that's because waldorf just expects us to be better than that and just trusts us not to, or they just think we all do anyway and don't give a fuck,' jungkook says, handing the joint to yoonoh. 'it's waldorf, it honestly could go either way.'

'it's all natural, so why would they be against it?' yoonoh quips before taking a drag.

rose groans. 'i am so jealous right now,' she whines, 'it's been so long, and it's so long until the end of the school year, i'm going to die. last day of school, swear to god, i am getting so fucking high. at school.'

'like last day of school or last day of exams?' yoonoh asks on an exhale.

rose considers. 'i can write an exam high,' she says, 'probably.'

'i study better when i'm high,' jungkook inputs, 'helps me concentrate.'

rose shrugs. 'maybe both, then. maybe both. definitely wanna do my final assembly high.'

'i'll join you,' yoonoh says.

'... they wouldn't do a drug test on valedictory, right? would they?'

Chapter Text

fuck mosquitos squad

[venti caramel frappucino] wait dude seokmin bruh how's your moving going?
[donkey kong] i mean we're fully moved now so
[donkey kong] unpacked and stuff as well
[binnie] you moved???
[yuna] omg how did you miss that
[binnie] shhhh
[binnie] so where are you living now?
[donkey kong] still in the same area
[donkey kong] cos mom works and drinks here
[donkey kong] it's like this old hotel/large house?
[donkey kong] idk it's like four stories and lots of rooms
[donkey kong] probs a fire hazard but whatever
[donkey kong] couple downstairs have like dried animal skins hanging outside their room which is p fucking creepy
[donkey kong] but it's fine my room has a lock we good
[donkey kong] also like p sure we're like technically illegally squatting
[donkey kong] but we're calling it a commune so it's fiiine
[jk] damn how many people are living there
[donkey kong] a few
[donkey kong] mom's friends/drinking buddies with one of the guys its how we got the rooms
[donkey kong] we actually all got our own rooms!
[donkey kong] i think mine was originally like a living room or smth it's really long and skinny
[donkey kong] look place is a shit hole but its a roof over our heads and has a bombass view from the balcony/roof
[donkey kong] seaview for dayyys

Chapter Text


[jihyo] i cannot bELIEVE
[jihyo] the INSULT
[jihyo] the inDIGNITY
[dabdab] what happened
[jihyo] so we were at the beach right
[jihyo] and it got a little chilly
[jihyo] so we're heading to mina's house to get a jersey
[jihyo] okay so it's like 7 so it's dark
[jihyo] and this woman comes out of her house with her dog and i think nothing of it and she's walking down the street
[dawon] you and mina? impossible
[dawon] who else is there
[jihyo] hao gyeom and jk
[jihyo] gyeom wont stop laughing
[dawon] ah there we go
[jk] whatchu tryna say dawon
[dawon] nothing at all darling


[jihyo] ONE NIGHT
[jihyo] TWO TIMES
[jk] it happened again
[jk] we are the dodgy teenagers to avoid
[jimin] tha fuq are you walking around at midnight for ofc you're the dodgy teenagers
[yugyeom] to get the alcohol at minghao's place

Chapter Text

for my parents, who tried

[j'amie] as my first earthquake, 0/10 would do again
[dabdab] dude i was high
[dabdab] it was stressful af
[jk] i lowkey thought i was just passing out at first tbh
[donkey kong] honestly? #dnw
[venti caramel frappucino] seokmin dude
[venti caramel frappucino] your bong
[venti caramel frappucino] the really nice one you lent me?
[venti caramel frappucino] the earthquake knocked it off the counter and it broke
[donkey kong] lmao its chill
[donkey kong] wasn't really mine to begin with tbh
[donkey kong] kinda stole it
[venti caramel frappucino] it was such a nice bong tho
[donkey kong] it was
[donkey kong] i'm not even surprised tbh
[donkey kong] things have been going wack lately
[donkey kong] i accidentally pissed of a witch a little while back and she cursed me
[donkey kong] and i was like yeah whatever
[donkey kong] but now i'm like
[donkey kong] does anyone know how to do a cleanse/ get rid of a curse
[donkey kong] honestly asking
[jk] you got cursed
[jk] by a witch
[donkey kong] ITS A LOT
[donkey kong] i need a cleanse man
[j'amie] how the hell did you piss off a witch
[j'amie] like honestly its you
[j'amie] you're like
[j'amie] sunshine
[j'amie] how
[donkey kong] point is i did
[donkey kong] CAN ANYONE HELP ME
[donkey kong] im about to resort to google
[yoohyeon] burn some sage
[yoohyeon] do a cleansing
[donkey kong] do you know how
[donkey kong] bc i need help
[yoohyeon] yeah
[yoohyeon] i'll bring some over
[donkey kong] i love you
[donkey kong] platonically
[yerin] nice save
[donkey kong] i too am taken m'lady
[yoohyeon] i retract my offer
[donkey kong] NO YOOHYEON PLEASE

Chapter Text

'i'm so glad i quit that job,' yoobin says, taking the beer jungkook hands her.

'we've missed you being around,' jungkook says, settling down. 'I mean, like, you don't often come to these things, but you were in a different city, and that's. different.'

'so eloquent.'

'shut up.'

yoobin laughs. 'i need this, it's been... it was rough.'

'it sounded like you had a rough time of it up there.'

'you don't understand,' yoobin sighs. 'i mean, i was managing, but the stress... i was so stressed, i literally did not get my period the entire time i was up there. five months, nothing. which was stressful in itself, but... yeah, the stress just. stopped my period for five months.'

jungkook nods sagely. 'i understand. stress is rough. i haven't gotten my period in... well, ever.'

yoobin kicks out at him with a laugh. 'jungkook!'

jungkook's laughing as he dodges away. 'i didn't know what else to say to that!'

'you could just show some sympathy!'

'okay, okay!' jungkook composes himself and looks at her seriously. 'binnie, i'm very sorry about your horrible job, and i'm very glad you quit and came back home. i will make sure you get sufficiently drunk tonight.'

'oh, don't say that,' yoobin groans, 'that just scares me.'

Chapter Text

'he's such a dick,' jungkook says in frustration and gyujin nods mildly. 'just because he's-' jungkook lifts his fingers for airquotes, '-vice principal-'

gyujin snorts and jungkook pauses.

'i mean. he actually is the vice principal. i don't know why i put finger quotes.'

'it's probably because he's a giant asshole and no one likes him,' gyujin supplies and jungkook turns midstep to gesture widely.

'exactly!' jungkook exclaims, 'that's exactly what i'm s- oh, sorry,' he cuts himself off when he almost collides with a gentle looking woman.

she smiles at him and presses a leaflet into his hands. 'it's alright,' she says, 'here, take this. i think it could really help you. have a wonderful afternoon.'

'yeah, uh. you too,' jungkook says, nonplussed, as the woman bustles a way. he gives gyujin a confused glance.

'pretty sure she targeted you specifically,' gyujin says and jungkook raises an eyebrow and looks down at the leaflet.

'are you kidding me?' he says. 'a fucking church group? invite jesus into your heart, seriously?'

gyujin bursts out into laughter and jungkook sticks his tongue into his cheek in annoyance.

'she totally targeted you specifically,' gyujin says with a grin and jungkook shakes his head.

Chapter Text

all hail instant noodles

[jk] guys
[jk] guys i'm dying
[yugyeom] like actually or
[jk] dude
[minghao] aw its hyperbole
[jk] hate you
[jk] you know how i've been broke af
[jk] and haven't been able to buy weed
[minghao] yeah you've just been smoking mine
[jk] and i'm very grateful for that
[jk] but anyway
[jk] my dealer
[jk] BRUH
[jk] i must be on his like
[jk] message list?
[jk] but like

[jk] like everyday
[jk] i get one of them like every other morning
[jihyo] is your drug dealer a motivational speaker or something
[jk] idk
[jk] but it makes me feel special
[jk] it's so lovely
[yugyeom] who is your dealer dude
[jihyo] yeah i wanna feel special
[jk] i haven't even bought anything from him for literal months upon months
[jihyo] appreciate your dealer
[yugyeom] hugs not drugs
[minghao] *hugs AND drugs

Chapter Text

'it's been weird,' rose continues as she puts her bag down, 'like, i've been feeling mostly fine- like, not sick? but this nausea.'

'drinking's not going to help with that,' jihyo says from where she's flopped on the couch to cuddle with jimin on entry and rose flips her off.

'i can try,' she shoots back.

'that sounds horrible,' dawon says sympathetically. 'i… don't know what it could be.'

'dawon!' comes the call from the bedroom.

'coming!' dawon replies, then turns to rose. 'hey, why don't you ask my mom? she's a nurse, she knows things.'

'oh, good idea,' rose says and follows dawon to the bedroom.

'yeah, mom?' she says.

'i need you to take the car, go to the shop before i go to work. I need cigarettes. And we need milk. And get me something to eat,' dawon's mom says, coffee in her hands as she blinks awake.

'okay,' dawon says, reaching down to pick up the debit card on the bedside table. 'mom, rose has been having some weird symptoms, wanted to ask you about them.'

'hi,' rose says almost sheepishly.

'hey, sweetheart,' dawon's mom says, 'what's up?'

'i don't know,' rose replies, moving more fully into the room. 'i've been nauseous, but not actually throwing up? i've also been getting these bouts of dizziness, and light headaches, and i've been a little. well. constipated. but i haven't been feeling sick? aside from the nausea.'

dawon's mom looks up at rose. 'when did you last have your period?'

rose freezes. 'i- no. no. shit. no. don't say that.'

'i'm going to the shop now, if you wanna…' dawon offers.

'yeah,' rose says immediately, 'yeah. thank you,' she says to dawon's mom, 'i think.'

jihyo's eyebrows furrow when rose comes back into the lounge. 'why are you so pale?'

'i'm going with dawon to the shop,' rose says, 'i have to… check something.'

'check something,' jimin repeats, confused.

rose glances down in the vague direction of her stomach, and jimin and jihyo's eyes widen.

'oh, shit,' jimin says.

'hey, drinking might do something,' jihyo says and rose lets out a cut off laugh.

'fuck you,' she says, then takes a deep breath. 'i'm going to have some water.'

'i'm coming too,' jimin says scrambling up, jihyo letting out a squeak as she falls to the couch.

'i'll wait here,' jihyo says, 'let people in.'

'thanks,' dawon says, 'mom!' she calls, 'jihyo's staying here!'

'okay!' comes the reply, 'get me some red pens as well?'

'okay!' dawon says, 'rose, we're in the car!'



'we've been down like three aisles!' rose exclaims, 'where the fuck are they?' they're surrounded by baby things, diapers creating a wall next to them. rose whimpers. 'i really don't want to be in this aisle right now, oh my god.'

'maybe that's why they're not in this aisle,' dawon says.

'well, they're not by the condoms, which is the other logical place for them to be,' rose says.

'maybe they're at the pharmacy dispensary,' dawon suggests, and rose groans.

'there!' jimin exclaims, at the end of the aisle. 'just in front of the pharmacy.'

'oh, thank god,' rose says, and they hurry over. 'why are they so goddamn expensive.' she grabs a test anyway. 'okay. let's go.'


'they're back!' comes the call, and dawon's mom appears in the door, bag in hand.

rose grabs jimin's hand and drags her past everyone's greetings, heading to the bathroom.

'need help?' jungkook asks, leaning on the gate.

'it's two litres of milk, i think I can manage,' dawon laughs as her mom drives off.

'mingyu's in the kitchen,' he says.

'oh, great,' dawon says, 'is everyone here?'

'think there's still a few people missing,' jungkook says, shutting the gate behind her.

'alcohol's in the garage,' dawon responds, 'get it out.'

'yes, ma'am,' jungkook says with a laugh.


it seems like far too long before rose and jimin emerge from the bathroom, jihyo and dawon hovering close at hand.

'safe,' rose tells them, 'we're all good. give me all the alcohol, i need like three shots right now, my heart can't take this.'

'i got you,' dawon says, holding out a bottle of vodka.

'and i have shot glasses if you want,' jihyo offers.

'yeah, okay,' rose says, going to pour into the glasses they're holding. 'guess i should do that.'

'okay,' she says after they've downed the shots. 'i'm celebrating tonight, by getting fucked up.'

'sounds fair,' dawon laughs. 'let's get to that.'

Chapter Text

'what are you doing again?' rose asks, taking a drink.

'dying,' jungkook says.

jimin gives him a push.

'i mean, obviously,' rose laughs, 'but aside from that.'

'working,' jungkook sighs, 'like. three jobs. what are off days.'

yugyeom snorts. 'want another drink?'

'at the very least,' jungkook says, 'i'm working at the paintball field tomorrow, i can do that hungover.'

'how about still drunk?' yugyeom says with a grin, handing jimin a drink to pass on.

'now you're talking,' jungkook grins.

'wasn't someone bringing food?' gyujin whines, his head on jihyo's lap.

'what dream are you living?' jungkook laughs.

'a hungry one,' gyujin sighs.

'drink more,' yugyeom suggests.

'mm, vodka for supper,' minkyung says, 'good times.'

jungkook considers it. 'yeah, i'd agree with that.'

'i was joking,' minkyung deadpans and jungkook shrugs.


'do we have food?' gyujin asks.

'do we ever?' jihyo laughs, twisting pieces of gyujin's hair together.

the garage door opens and dawon comes in carrying mix.

'dawon!' gyujin cries. 'do we have food?'

'not unless you brought,' dawon replies and gyujin pouts.


'where'd the mix come from?' minghao asks.

'told you i was bringing some,' bambam says, appearing next to dawon.

'damn,' minghao says, 'i was right.'

'ungrateful ass,' bambam says dismissively. 'i brought something else.'

gyujin perks up. 'is it food?'

another figure appears next to bambam, wearing a wide grin. 'surprise, bitches. bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.'

minkyung jolts as the garage erupts into yells.

'christopher!' lalisa yells as jimin throws a pillow at the doorway.

'bang chan!' jimin yells, struggling to her feet, 'what the fuck are you doing here?'

'wow, i sure feel welcome,' chan says with a grin then yelps as jimin launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. 'jimin, stop, i can't carry you!' he exclaims, stumbling. 'what are you doing, stop! jimin! i'm going down!'

there're hands holding chan up as jimin lets go, landing back on the ground and gripping chan's wrist so he doesn't fall over.

'crazy woman,' chan gasps.

'you're not meant to be in this city!' jimin exclaims, 'what are you doing here?'

'did i forget to tell you?' chan says with a sheepish grin.

'tell me what.'

'i'm going to the university. i live in town now.'

jimin blinks at him and bambam attempts to sidle away.

'you gon' die, bro,' he mutters.

'please don't kill me,' chan says, 'i wanted to surprise you.'

'right, sure,' jimin deadpans.

'i brought a friend, you don't wanna make a bad impression, do you?' chan wheedles, pulling someone into the garage. 'right?'

'oh, you are going to have to grovel, buddy,' jimin warns him.

'right, yeah, that's fair. i'll buy you... not all the things, i'm broke, but. stuff?' chan tries.

'you will come visit, asshat,' jimin tells him. 'unbelievable. four years, and you don't even tell me you moved back.'

chan grins. 'love you too, jimin.' he pulls the other guy closer. 'everyone, this is woojin. we're neighbours in res. woojin, you've met dawon and bambam, the scary lady here is jimin, and there we have yugyeom, uh... the person lying down... i don't know?'

'rude,' gyujin says and chan squints over.

'gyujin? that you, mate?'

gyujin throws up a peace sign and lifts his head. 'long time no see. you look different.'

'puberty will do that to one,' chan says with a nod.

'i don't know what you're talking about, chan looks exactly the same,' jihyo says with a grin.

chan narrows his eyes at her. 'as when i left mid grade nine or...?'

jihyo crinkles her nose in thought. 'as when i met you in grade five.'

'that hurts, jisoo.'


chan lets out a sheepish laugh. 'right, yeah, of course.'

'i changed my name,' jihyo says with a laugh and chan lets out a sigh of relief.

'i was literally doubting everything,' chan laughs and looks at woojin. 'i went to primary school with most of these fuckers. so that's jihyo. and... don't know you.'

'jungkook,' jungkook says, and chan's eyebrows raise.

'do know you. i don't think you had front teeth the last time i saw you.'

the garage bursts into laughter and jungkook gives a wry grin.

'thanks, bro.'

'you look good,' chan assures him, and jungkook throws him a wink in return.

'hey, how come he's the only one who gets complimented,' gyujin complains, 'i wanna get told i look good too.'

'you look like a hedgehog right now,' yugyeom tells him.

gyujin reaches up to pat his hair. '... that's fair. i'll allow it.'

'right,' chan says, 'and the girl very rudely talking through my introductions is lalisa.' he grins as lalisa pauses in her conversation to look over. 'hey, lala.'

'hey, loser,' she replies flippantly and chan gapes in indignation.

'what did i do to deserve this treatment?'

'you left us. abandoned us,' lalisa replies.

'not by choice! my parents moved!'

'so?' lalisa shrugs. 'you could've made a plan. yubin did. found a place to live.'

'who's yubin.'

'binnie's childhood friend.'

'i don't know these people,' chan says helplessly.

'well, whose fault is that?'

chan turns to woojin. 'do you see how they treat me? what i have to put up with?'

'buy us food and we'll forgive you,' gyujin says.

'gyujin,' jihyo laughs.

'i'm hungry!'

chan laughs. 'and then we have...' he blinks at minkyung. 'please tell me i actually don't know you and i haven't just fucked up and forgotten you.' his eyes slide to rose. 'or you.'

minkyung laughs. 'we've never met. i'm minkyung.'

'we were in grade eight together, but didn't actually hang out,' rose says. 'rose.'

chan snaps his fingers. 'that's where you look familiar from. lisa's instagram.'

lalisa laughs. 'oh, is that why you like those pictures.'

chan scoffs. 'no. likes are just how i show that i still care.'

'you can come sit down, woojin,' jihyo says, 'we don't bite.'

'that's not what jiho says,' jimin teases and jihyo flushes a little.

'she's worse, so. whatever. that's. not the point, shut up.'

'i'm torn between wanting clarification and being offended i don't get invited to sit down,' chan says.

'get your friend a drink, first,' lalisa says, and reaches for her drink.

'just find a spot to squeeze in,' dawon says from behind woojin and chan. 'don't worry about stepping on anyone, we've gotten quite good at avoiding feet.'

bambam throws an arm around chan's shoulders. 'welcome back.'

'you left in grade nine, you said?' minkyung asks and chan nods. 'i feel like things have escalated.'

'the last time he partied with us is the reason i have false teeth,' jungkook tells her, 'so.'

'you make it sound like my fault, i was just there,' chan protests.

minkyung stares at jungkook in amused confusion. 'you what?'

jungkook averts his eyes. 'there were pretty people. i wanted to follow the pretty people.'

'that explains nothing,' minkyung says. jungkook just shrugs and takes a drink.

'it took me two weeks to notice,' rose says with a laugh.


'listen,' jungkook says, 'i literally bullshitted my way into high school. don't talk to me.'

Chapter Text

'chan,' jihyo says, flopping into chan's side, 'channie. channie chan chan. chris. christopher. christopher robin.'

'why am i christopher robin,' chan says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

'because you are,' jihyo replies, 'you even brought pooh bear.' she points lazily across te room to where woojin is sitting and chatting to minghao and dawon.

'you've known him for like, two hours, why is he already pooh bear?' chan laughs.

'because he is,' jihyo grins, 'look at him, he's adorable. and cuddly. he's a giant teddy bear. i love him already. he's my favourite. even minghao likes him.' jihyo peers up at chan. ' just so you know, if you guys break up, we're keeping him.'

'woojin and i aren't dating, you know that, right? we're not going to break up,' chan remarks with a giggle.

'friend break ups happen,' jihyo comments, and chan tilts his head in acknowledgement. 'anyway, how've you been? it's been years since we've spoken. how's your mom?'

'i've been okay,' chan says, 'finished school, got into uni, will get money off my student loan if i get distinctions. nothing to complain about there.' he sighs. 'my mom's... alive. i think. i kinda haven't seen her for a few years? last i heard she'd left the country. so did my stepdad, but separately, so i kinda bounced around between some relatives and friends of the family for a bit until he moved back. i mean, i think he divorced my mom because she like. disappeared, so technically, he's not my stepdad anymore, but.' he shrugs. 'i still call him dad, so.'

'and your actual dad?'

chan shrugs again. 'he's still paying for medical aid for me, and... well, yeah. maintenance stopped when i turned eighteen, but that's not unexpected. it's not like he's done anything more in my life.'

'still no relationship with him?' jihyo asks sympathetically.

'never expected there to be,' chans says, cuddling jihyo closer. 'i've missed this.'

'mmm,' jihyo hums happily, 'me too. all those afternoons at aftercare.'

'grade seven got deep,' chan says thoughtfully.

'what are we talking about?' gyujin asks, flopping down next to jihyo, attempting not to spill his drink.

'daddy issues,' chan says and gyujin nods.

'ahh, lack-of-daddy issues, i feel you,' gyujin says, 'i was hoping it'd be how to get food.'

'have you still not found food?' jihyo attempts to look behind her and quickly gives up, snuggling into chan's chest again.

'no,' gyujin sighs, 'i've just had a lot more to drink.'

'same,' jihyo agrees, and chan nods, taking another gulp of his own drink.

'is no one else hungry?' gyujin complains.

'i could alway eat,' chan says.

'we should absolutely make a plan,' gyujin declares, gesturing with his drink and spilling. 'fuck.'

'that was right on my leg,' jihyo remarks, unmoving.

'yeah, it was,' gyujin agrees. 'sorry.'

'it's chill, these pants were going straight into the wash in the morning anyway.'

'so, chan, you're up for getting food?' gyujin asks.

chan nods. 'yeah, as long as it's cheap.'

'awesome.' gyujin hands jihyo his drink and struggles to his feet. 'i'm going to find other people who wanna join.'

'this is mine now,' jihyo says, holding up the drink and gyujin pauses before nodding.

'yeah, that's fair.'

jihyo sips contentedly on her drink for a few moments until a grin grows on chan's face and he nudges her head with his shoulder.

'hey,' he says, 'who's jiho?'

jihyo lets out a giggle and buries her face in his chest, using her drink to cover her face. 'she's a friend. um. we hooked up pretty regularly for a bit?'

'just hooked up?' chan teases and jihyo gives him a light slap.

'yes. we were both single, and wanted to get off with no strings or one night stands. neither of us were looking for anything more.'

'so the remarks earlier?' chan presses and jihyo laughs.

'she likes biting. there were a fair amount of marks.' jihyo pauses and then hides her face in her hand. 'on both sides, in all honestly.'

'ooh, look at you, all grown up and hooking up with girls,' chan teases and jihyo whines through her laughter, her ears turning pink.

'where'd gyujin go?' she asks, attempting to sit up, but chan gets her in an almost headlock. 'weren't you going somewhere?'

'don't leave me, jihyo,' chan laughs, putting his drink down and wrapping his arms fully around her, keeping her in place.

'nooo,' jihyo whines, also laughing, 'let me go!'


gyujin's somehow lost his shirt by the time he's gathered people to leave, but he's gained a white top hat somehow. yugyeom's lost his pants as well, wandering after gyujin in his boxers, and dawon entrusts woojin with the remote and a handful of money, telling him to bring back food for the people staying behind.

lalisa's on the ground about ten minutes later, half from laughter and half because her pants have torn around the edges from constantly being stepped on.

'it's fine,' rose assures her, 'they'll look even more boho chic with the ends torn off, promise.'

'can i even trust you right now?' lalisa laughs, 'you're pretty drunk.'

'shh,' rose shushes her, 'so are you, it's fine. ask jimin.'

'ask me what?' jimin says, turning at the sounds of her name. 'what they're doing? i have no idea. why is their coordination so bad.'

rose looks over to where the boys were attempting to do running high fives across the road, woojin cackling as chan bails into the grass verge.

'remember when gyujin, gyeom, bam and jungkook tried to do this over the pool?' rose says with a giggle, 'that was chaos. it took them so many tries.'

'i still have that video,' jimin says, 'it's gold.'

'send it to the chat?' lalisa asks, finally wresting the strip of material off the second leg of her pants and stretching her legs out in front of her. 'does this look okay?'

'ooh, very boho chic,' jimin says and rose slaps lalisa's shoulder, garnering a yelp.

'i told you!' she exclaims.

'why would you hit me?' lalisa asks, helpless with laughter.

'are you going to do anything with those?' jimin asks, indicating the orange strips of material in lalisa's hand.

'no, go ahead, do whatever,' lalisa says, handing them over and jimin grins, turning to where gyujin is picking up his top hat as rose helps lalisa up.

'boys!' jimin yells, and is probably cowed by shushes. 'oh, shut up, it's like nine o clock on a friday,' she tells bambam with laugh. 'you don't get one, now. chan!'

chan trots over and allows jimin to tie the piece of material around his head like a bandana with only mild confusion, patting his curls falling over it once she's done.

'are you cold?' he asks rose, his brow furrowed slightly as he sees her rub her arms as jimin ties the other piece of material arouns yugyeom's bicep.

rose shakes her head. 'no, not really, we just stopped moving a bit.'

'here, take my shirt,' chan says, already taking it off with only a little bit of struggle, and then holding it out to her triumphantly. 'it's more material than yours.'

'he's not wrong,' lalisa comments, pulling at one of rose's spaghetti straps.

'i'm fine,' rose protests, 'now you're gonna get cold!'

chan shakes his head with a nose scrunch. 'nah, i'm wasted. amd just did exercise. i'll be fine. take it. i'm not putting it back on, so you might as well.'

rose laughs as she takes it. 'better not be sweaty,' she teases and pulls it over her head. 'thanks.'

chan gives her a grin. 'no problem.'

'why are you also shirtless now?' jimin says when she turns around. 'why are all of you like this?'

'she was cold,' chan replies, indicating rose, 'i was helping.'

jimin snorts, eyeing him. 'right, sure, that sounds like you.'

chan gapes. 'i am very helpful!'

woojin claps a hand on chan's shoulder. 'give up. i've known her for not very long and i already know you're not going to win.'

'i like you,' jimin laughs and chan gives woojin an indignant pout.

'you're not wrong,' he concedes, 'but can i at least try?'

woojin shakes his head solemnly as laughter erupts around them.

'wise man, your friend,' gyujin says to chan.


'we're getting pizza,' lalisa wheedles outside the garage and gyujin tugs her hand back.

'yes, i know, but i want a pie as well. i'm really hungry. i'll be a second,' gyujin insists.

'let him go,' jimin says, 'we can get chips while we're here.'

'and mix, i guess,' woojin adds, 'i was ased to get that too.'

'are we already out?' rose says in disbelief and woojin shrugs.

'i was just told to get orange juice,' he says.

'oh,' jimin says with a nod, 'that would be jihyo.'

lalisa heads to the garage door. 'kay, if we're going in here, i'm getting chocolate.'

'what do you mean you don't have it?' gyujin is saying to the guy behind the counter by the time everyone is inside.

'they're in the oven,' the guy says with a slight grin, 'they've just gone in. sorry, dude. they'll be done in like fifteen, twenty minutes.'

'we're not waiting,' jimin says beind him, 'we can come back after pizza.'

gyujin turns back around to face the guy. 'okay,' he says seriously, 'okay. i'll come back. you promise it'll be done?'

the guy nods.

'we're friends, right?' gyujin insists and the guy laughs.

'yeah, we're friends.'

'okay. so i'm coming back for one, make sure there is one. we're gonna get pizza, and then i'm coming back.'

'it'll be here,' the guy promises with a laugh.

'i'll be wearing less the next time i come in here,' gyujin says, pointing at the guy as jimin hooks her arm through his, dragging him towards the counter. 'promise i'll be wearing less.'


'guys,' gyujin says once they're outside the garage heading towards the pizza place, voice full of concern. 'i'm only wearing pants.'

'gyeom's wearing just his boxers, you won't be alone,' jimin says, aiming a slap at yugyeom's butt.

'yeah, but... i'm not wearing boxers,' gyujin says, 'if i take my pants off, i'll be naked. and i think that's illegal.'

'leave them on,' rose laughs, 'it really is illegal.'


there's pink slap marks on yugyeom, gyujin and chan's backs when they walk into the pizza place, and bambam already has his phone out, filming unsteadily as they head to the counter.

'we're looking for work,' yugyeom says to the person behind the counter.

'i need a job. can we apply for jobs?' chan asks, and rose collapses against woojin in hysterics.

jimin has her face in her hands. 'i don't know them,' she says sounding on the verge of tears, 'they're actually doing it.'

'do you have forms we can fill out? i don't have my cv here,' gyujin tells the person blinking at them.

'uh,' she says, 'i think. maybe you should come back. we don't... we don't have forms.'

'but we can get jobs, right?' chan asks.


'can we get some pizza now, though?' yugyeom cuts in.

'uh. yes,' the girl says nervously.

'and jobs?' gyujin tries, and lalissa and jimin collapse in a fresh wave of laughter.

'this is great,' bambam grins, 'this is... i'm sending this to the group.'


[dabdab] {video}
[dabdab] they;re now dbating
[dabdab] kilts nd tunics theyr havign an intellictua;l deabte
[dabdab] i shudv kept filming


'toot toot!'

'they're not getting any pizza,' jimin says, watching as gyujin and bambam go through the kfc drive thru in a chain, tooting.

'that's mean,' chan says.

'the only reason you're not there with them is cos you're carrying pizza, isn't it,' jimin says resignedly and chan grins.


'oh god.'

'you should be used to this by now,' yugyeom says, attempting to pat jimin's shoulder with the pizza boxes he's carrying.

'get me a snack burger!' she yells at them and gyujin whirls around.

'wait, my pie!' he yelps.

'go,' lalisa says, 'i'll help bam carry.'

'i love you, lise,' gyujin tells her and she waves him off. he gives a final toot and starts jogging across the tarmac.

'wait, i said i'd be wearing less!'

'gyujin, no!'

'for god's sake, the top hat! take the top hat off!'

Chapter Text

it's a rare occasion, where sicheng actually deigns to join them for break, although not without reminding them that he's still pissed they have the nerve to be finishing school before him.

'i still maintain i should not be included in your rage,' jungkook says, reclining on the lawn, 'i was always going to finish school before you.'

'you cheated the system, still counts,' sicheng counters and jungkook considers this.

'i mean, i guess. still think it's unfair, though.'

'tough,' sicheng dismisses. 'school is depressing me. we should do something. go to a theme park or something. or actually the aquarium, I wanna go to the aquarium!'

'ooh, yes,' kyungwon says, 'that sounds fun!'

'why don't we do it tomorrow, though?' minkyung suggests, 'take advantage of the short day.'

'waldorf bonding,' kyungwon laughs, 'yoonoh's not invited, because he abandoned us.'

sicheng laughs. 'he hates that so much. still.'

'it was kindergarten,' minkyung mimics.

'i know he hates it,' kyungwon says with a grin, 'why do you think i keep saying it.'

'maybe we should invite him,' minkyung says, 'tell him it's a waldorf reunion.'

sicheng laughs. 'so, aquarium it is? we all in for tomorrow? lunch, or something, aquarium, then dinner or something. chill at the waterfront, catch a movie. you can probably crash at my house, we can make a day of it.'

'i'm definitely keen,' jungkook says, 'but I don't have the money for that. the aquarium's hella pricey.'

'just ask your parents for some money,' sicheng says dismissively, 'say it's for a cultural and educational activity.'

jungkook blinks at him.

'i mean, i can do that,' jungkook says, 'but i'm still not going to have any money.'

'what do you mean?' sicheng asks as kyungwon muffles her laughter in minkyung's shoulder.

'my parents don't just give me money,' jungkook clarifies, 'they're not loaded like yours are.'

sicheng blinks at him in mild incomprehension.

'i'm pretty sure between the three of us we can cover your costs for tomorrow,' minkyung assures jungkook.

Chapter Text

'i can't do next weekend,' jimin says, 'there's... a bunch of us are going camping. you should come, actually, i'm sure it'd be fine.'

'what, just inviting myself on a camping trip? i haven't exactly met all your friends,' chan laughs.

'oh god, there's going to be a pile of people. it's like a joint birthday celebration for like... six? yeah, six people whose birthdays span over like two weeks,' jimin says, 'one more person isn't going to make much of a difference.'

'birthdays, huh?' chan says thoughtfully, 'woojin's birthday's also coming up in the next few weeks.'


'i've blanked on the exact date,' chan admits, 'i can ask. somewhere in the single digits of april, though, i think.'

'that's right in the catchment zone,' jimin says, 'you have to come. with him, obviously, he can join the birthday brigade. the more, the merrier.'

'people won't mind?'

'woojin is already one of us, and like. lalisa already loves him, so.' jimin shrugs and chan's eyes widen.

'oh, shit, yeah, it's her birthday soon, isn't it?'

'on sunday, yeah,' jimin tells him with a laugh. 'she's like. second birthday of the lot. so you guys should definitely come. i'll clear it with everyone first, but it should be fine. the vague plans are like... i think we're booking the campsite from the friday to the monday? maybe a little earlier, i'm not sure. not everyone's going to be there the whole time, though.'

'is it close?'

jimin shrugs. 'about an hour, hour and a half drive? near the beach. we're avoiding easter weekend, so it should be empty. we're also all like. carpooling lifts, so i'll get you guys a lift too. if you need.'

'probably,' chan says, 'wait, let me ask woojin if he's up for it now, i don't think he's made any plans yet.'

'yeah, do that. get his exact birthday as well, for kicks,' jimin says with a grin. 'no, it'll be great if you guys can come, even if it's just for one of the nights or something.'

'oh, i am so up for skipping a day or two of lectures, i'll be straight up,' chan says, typing on his phone, 'it won't be a trainwreck. what about, like. tents or whatever?'

'i mean, yeah, maybe. we are borrowing a really large tent, or two, and people are also going to be... there's gonna be a lot of alcohol so like not everyone is necessarily going to be sleeping in a tent, but probably bring a blanket and pillows probably. that's probably more important. also alcohol. bring alcohol. and food, that might be a good idea.' jimin nods.

'is alcohol even allowed on beaches?'

'does that matter?' jimin laughs, then waves her hand. 'yeah, no, it's all good. someone has connections to the owner. we're fine.'

chan laughs. 'it sounds like fun.'

jimin nods. 'yeah. and you'll get to meet like. everyone.'

'who all is going?'

'did you not hear me? everyone.' jimin laughs. 'i mean, probably, everyone's trying to go, anyway. there's a lot of people. pretty much everyone who was at dawon's the other night, so like yugyeom, bambam, jihyo, obviously lisa, gyujin... you'll definitely know people.'

'ah.' chan nods.'and uh...' he clears his throat quickly. 'like. rose?'

jimin snorts. 'seriously?'

'what?' chan protests, 'i'm just asking!'

'right,' jimin says, laughing, 'just happen to ask about one person in particular.'

'you already mentioned like everyone else,' chan defends.

'oh please!' jimin cries, 'not even close! oh my god.'

'what!' chan exclaims, 'she just seems cool, that's all!'

'uh huh,' jimin says, still grinning, 'sure. you are not subtle in the slightest.'

'shut up.'

'i mean, you should totally go for it,' jimin tells him, 'i think you have a shot.'

'go for what,' chan says, folding his arms, 'i don't know what you're talking about.'



[j'amie] guys i found another one
[yugyeom] another what
[j'amie] another birthday boy
[dabdab] whomst
[j'amie] chans friend woojin
[j'amie] april 8
[minghao] that explains a lot
[minghao] he been invited?
[dawon] WOOJIN
[dawon] he's coming right
[j'amie] he's been informed
[j'amie] both him and chan are all polite and made me clear it first
[minghao] obviously its fine
[jihyo] ye
[yugyeom] duh
[dawon] lol maybe ask the actual birthday peeps
[dawon] @all y'all
[minghao] gyu says yes
[jihyo] is he with you
[minghao] no
[minghao] but its gyu he says yes
[lalisa] the teddy's welcome
[mina] he's been described as a teddy i'm curious now so yes
[yoohyeon] junhoe says yes
[june] i can say that for myself
[june] jesus i said i was going to
[june] impatient
[dongmin] ofc
[jiho] y
[j'amie] awesome
[j'amie] they just need a lift
[jk] yeah i'm already sitting in my brother's boot probs
[yoohyeon] should be space to squish on the back of the bakkie
[yoohyeon] if they're willing to meet at a train station close to jihyo
[j'amie] they say yes thx just need a time
[yoohyeon] like 1 ish?
[j'amie] fantastic i'll pass it on

'who's picking us up again?' woojin asks as he and chan head to the parking lot.

'someone called yoohyeon,' chan answers.

'are we going to know who it is?'

'i have no idea,' chan says.

they've only been standing there for a few minutes when a blue bakkie pulls up, bambam yelling a greeting.

'yes,' chan says to woojin, 'we will.'

woojin laughs as the bakkie comes to stop in front of them and the driver hops out.

'which one of you is woojin?' she asks, and woojin raises a tentative hand.

'that would be me.'

'sup, i'm yoohyeon,' she says, and beckons him over, ducking inside the cab to grab something from the person in the passenger seat, appearing with a plastic tiara.

'uh,' woojin says, but is already ducking his head for her to put it on.

'she's making us all wear them,' the girl from the passenger seat says, climbing out, wearing her own tiara. 'i'm jiho. yerin, i've been told i have to sit on the back with the rest of the birthday kids. i'm tagging you in.'

another girl gets up and gives woojin and chan a wave as jiho uses the wheel as a stepladder to climb on. 'unless you want to take the front?' she says to chan.

'no!' jihyo's voice arises from her feet, 'chan's on the back with us.'

yerin laughs, and gives chan a shrug. 'guess you don't have a choice.'

'so, chuck your stuff on the back and hop on,' yoohyeon says as yerin hops off and climbs into the passenger seat, 'watch the bags.'

chan looks at woojin. 'after you.'

'woojin,' lalisa says, when he climbs up, hair twisted around her own tiara. 'go sit by junhoe, you don't have the hair to keep the crown on in the wind.'

'oh right,' jiho says, 'wind is a thing on the back.'

'i'll fix yours in,' jihyo offers, 'do you have a hairtie?'


'oh,' chan says, 'jiho, right?'

'just sit down,' jihyo tells him with a laugh.

'dude, here,' bambam says to woojin, finally on his feet and shifting so woojin can sit with his back against the cab.

'hey,' the last person with a tiara says, 'i'm junhoe. want a beer?' he pats the cooler box next to him.

'uh. sure,' woojin says as he maneouvres himself down, his bag already having joined the pile in the center of the bed. 'i'm woojin.'

junhoe hands him a beer and holds one out for chan as the car starts moving. 'it was my actual birthday yesterday, so i just started then,' he tells them.

'you guys bring supplies?' lalisa asks and chan indicates his bag.

'got a couple bottles of vodka. and some cheap tequila. and some ice tea. really hoping there's places to buy food near there,' chan laughs.

'we'll probably get yoohyeon to take us on a food run once everything's set up,' jiho says, 'don't worry too much about it.'

'hmm, not worry about food,' chan says thoughtfully.

'alcohol takes priority,' jihyo says and chan makes a contemplative face.

'does it though?'

'weak,' lalisa laughs, 'alcohol, dude.'

'yeah, but hear me out,' chan says, 'food.'

'the man makes a convincing argument,' junhoe says, raising his beer to chan.

'we're stopping for kfc on the way,' bambam says, and then squawks as the car starts moving. 'LET ME SIT DOWN FIRST, YOU CRAZY WOMAN!'


there's a cheer from the people already assembled as yoohyeon pulls up at the campsite, mingyu popping out from behind the half-erected tent to wave.

'we bring chicken and beer!' bambam yells.

'not that much beer,' junhoe amends.

'beer, we have,' yugyeom says, approaching the car and taking the bag handed to him, 'what we need is people who can help put up the tent, because we've all been told to fuck off and minghao and mingyu keep fighting.'

'i would like to point out that while i said we don't have much beer, that was not the case when we set off,' junhoe says.

'i like this set up, it's very amusing,' luda calls, grinning from a canvas chair.

'other birthday people!' mina cheers from where yerin is already putting a tiara on her head and pressing her lips to her cheek. 'is that all of us?'

'nah, we're still waiting for dongmin,' mingyu says, ducking to let yerin put a tiara on his head as well, 'can this wait until after the tent is set up?'

'no,' yerin says, 'why are you putting up the tent anyway, it's your birthday.'

'do you think i trust anyone else here to be able to not break something putting up a tent?' mingyu fires back.

'i've put up tents before,' gyujin protests.

'are you sure about that?' mingyu asks, 'really sure about that?'

'just because i forgot tent pegs were a thing,' gyujin mutters and rose and yoonoh laugh.

'he apparently asked what they were and minghao and mingyu promptly refused to let him anywhere near set up,' yuna tells them.

'we're almost done,' minghao says, shooting yugyeom a glance as he comes closer again, 'we don't need any help.'

'i thought you guys said you were leaving at one?' seokmin asks, giving yoohyeon a hug, 'we left then and got here like an hour ago.'

'we stopped for food,' yoohyeon says, 'apparently if you order a few buckets of chicken, kfc takes a little while to fill the order.'

seokmin lets out an almost obscene groan. 'you got fried chicken, holy shit, yes.'

'unload the bakkie and we can eat,' yoohyeon tells him, and approaches the tent. 'am i allowed to help?'

mingyu narrows his eyes at her in consideration.

'woojin!' minghao calls and woojin startles, 'are you sober?'

'uh,' he replies, 'mostly, i think.'

'oh, you barely know him, how come you trust him to help with the tent and not me?' yoohyeon protests indignantly and minghao laughs.

'i'm kidding, we don't actually need help, the poles are all in the tent, it's just a matter of finishing it up,' minghao explains, and gives woojin a nod. 'you can chill, dude.'

'you sure?' woojin asks and minghao nods.

'we'll be done in like two minutes,' mingyu says, 'hi, i'm mingyu!'

woojin nods. 'i'm woojin. has your birthday passed yet or...'

'it's two days before yours,' minghao tells him, 'you can save the happy birthday for later.'

woojin blinks. 'i've met you once, how did you know that's what i was going to say?'

minghao just rolls his eyes and goes back to pitching the tent, leaving woojin in confusion.

'new birthday dude!' mina calls and woojin turns around, seeing her waving him over. 'hi,' she grins when he cautiously approaches. 'i'm mina.'

'woojin,' woojin responds, 'i should help unpack the bakkie.'

'don't be ridiculous,' junhoe says, sitting on the ground next to mina already, 'milk the birthday privileges for all they're worth.'

'yeah, there's plenty of people to sort everything out,' mina adds.

'ignore mingyu, he's a terrible example,' jiho tells him and pats the ground next to her. 'we need to get to know the new addition to our birthday gang.'


'is it appropriate to move onto the spirits yet.'

'it's like, half past two.

'as part of the reigning birthday committee, i say yes,' junhoe says.

a murmur of agreement flows around the group.

'i absolutely wasn't going to listen to anyone saying no,' jiho says with a laugh.

'uh, small problem,' luda pipes up with a laugh, 'did anyone bring cups?'

there's a brief silence.

'i brought a jug,' mingyu says.

'we can use the beer cans, then,' woojin says, 'if we have a decanter.'

'smart,' seokmin says, pointing at woojin.

'i like you,' junhoe says, giving him an approving nod.

'clever teddy,' mina says, patting his head.

'you've just latched onto that descriptor, haven't you?' woojin says conversationally and mina nods.



the drinks are flowing freely and the chicken long devoured by the time the roar of motorbike engines alerted everyone to the arrival of new people, yoohyeon cheering as yubin takes her helmet off, junyoung climbing off the bike behind her.

'can i get a lift with someone else home?' he calls to everyone else and yubin shoots him a look.

'don't be a wimp,' she scolds.

'it's cold,' he tells her.

'we did tell you to wear warmer clothes,' yoobin says, putting her helmet on the seat of her own bike, 'your own fault you didn't listen.'

'gyujin, i need a drink, give me alcohol before i die of hypothermia,' junyoung says, choosing to ignore the girls.

'don't be such a drama queen, jun,' yoonoh says, and junyoung flips him off as he takes the drink seokmin offers him.

junyoung narrows his eyes at chan and woojin, eyes darting between before he gives chan a wide grin. 'chan, it's been a while. how've you been?'

chan looks up at him in despair. 'why are you tall?' he laments, 'i fucking hate this, why am i the only one that didn't get a growth spurt.' he takes a swig of his drink as laughter abounds around him. 'i've been good, dude, and yourself?'

'making bad decisions but dealing with them,' junyoung replies cheerfully.

'being a dumbass and then complaining about it, you mean,' yubin says, coming up behind him and nodding at chan and woojin. 'hey, i'm yubin. and that's yoobin,' she adds, indicating behind her.

'well, that makes learning names easier,' chan says and yoobin laughs, approaching to give jiho a hug.

'i generally go by binnie,' she explains, 'yubin just likes spreading confusion.'

yubin shrugs. 'small pleasures, right?'

'you guys didn't happen to bring any mix, did you?' yuna asks, 'turns out yoonoh grossly underestimated how much was needed. and at the rate we're drinking we're gonna be out soon.'

'we came on motorbikes,' yubin points out.

'so that's a no?'

'yeah,' yubin confirms.

'i'll message jungkook,' yugyeom says, pulling out his phone, 'since our driver started drinking already.' yoohyeon blows him a kiss, drink in hand. 'he said they were only leaving at like five or six, right?'

'you're on your phone, check the group,' bambam tells him, 'why are you asking us?'

'yeah, don't be useless, gyeom,' rose chimes in with a wide grin, giggling as yugyeom shoots her a mock glare.


jiho takes a sip from her drink a little while later and coughs. 'oh my god, mingyu, what did you do wrong? everything,' she finishes before he can get a word in edgeways and he gapes at her from the drink mixing station as the rest of the group packs up laughing.

'my best!' he insists, 'that was the very last of the mix!'

'jesus, jiho,' yoonoh manages through laughter, 'let the poor man live.'

'yeah!' mingyu exclaims, 'it's my birthday!'

'it's my birthday first,' jiho rejoins, 'i'm still gonna drink it.'


'we have arrived!' dawon calls, practically falling out the car, jungkook's brother's girlfriend laughing in the front, and handing a plastic bag through the passenger seat window. 'we have mix!'

'finally!' bambam yells. 'i was about to start using beer!'

'you so would have regretted that,' yuna tells him and bambam shrugs.

'yeah, probably.'

'can someone let me out the boot?' comes jungkook's voice and dongmin turns around from where he was heading towards the group.

'no!' yoohyeon yells, 'dongmin!'

jimin laughs as he jumps a little in surprise, and waves him towards yoohyeon as she opens the boot.

'should i be scared?' he calls and yoohyeon shakes her head.

'of course not,' she says, holding the last tiara, 'it's just the compulsory birthday ensemble.'

'and two shots of tequila,' junhoe adds and dongmin makes a face.

'is there a chaser?'

'we have a shot of lemon juice from a bottle to offer,' mingyu says, 'which isn't as bad as it sounds.'

'it absolutely is,' lalisa says, lying on the floor. 'but the tequila's really not bad.'

'it smells like vanilla,' yuna supplies.

'do i get tequila?' donghyuk asks, dropping his bag near the tent and putting the shopping bag he's carrying near the rest of the consumables. 'i'm guessing i don't get a tiara.'

'no,' junhoe says and donghyuk narrows his eyes at him.

'is that to the tiara or the tequila?'


'you get tequila,' seokmin assures him, 'or an actual mixed drink if you don't want to subject yourself to that.'

'i'm curious about this tequila now,' donghyuk says.

there's a chorus of greetings as jungkook's brother drives away, people milling around to greet the newcomers.

'hey,' jimin says with a grin, turning to woojin after she's given mina a hug.

'hey,' he returns, 'i'm woojin.'

she blinks and laughs. 'you got into the birthday drinks, huh?'

he gives a sheepish laugh. 'right. jimin. i've been introducing myself all afternoon. and have had a drink in my hand constantly since i got picked up, so. yeah, that too.'

she gives him a hug. 'good to see you're having fun.'

'thanks for inviting me,' he says and she waves a hand.

'obviously. it wasn't even a question.'


'dare,' yugyeom says warily, eyeing jungkook with faint trepidation.

'run down the beach with no pants,' jungkook says promptly.

yugyeom considers it. 'not as bad as i thought it was going to be,' he decides and stumbles to his feet, undoing his belt.

'hide his pants,' jimin hisses when he's started his sprint, and there's a moment of confusion before yerin picks them up and throws them to bambam, who shoves them under the tent.

'come on,' yugyeom complains when he arrives back, faced with a crowd of grinning faces. 'where are they?'

'where are what?' jimin inquires innocently and he gives her a deadpan stare.

'i hate you.'

'i don't know what you're talking about,' she says breezily, 'now spin the bottle so we can get on with the game.'


'okay, truth. hmm,' yoonoh says, considering. 'have you ever shit yourself during or after anal?'

'no!' yuna cries, with slightly hysterical laughter, 'what kind of a question is that?'

'has that happened to you?' lalisa laughs.

'it's not my turn,' yoonoh says primly, 'i don't have to answer anything.'

'so, yes,' minghao summarises and yoonoh flips him off with a laugh.

'no,' he corrects.

'i don't know if i believe that,' luda says, and yoonoh throws his empty beer can at her.


'again?' jihyo says with a laugh among the cheers around her. 'is it even a dare anymore?'

'are you gonna do it or the forfeit?' dawon says with a grin, and jihyo shakes her head, reaching down to take her top off and throw it at dawon.

'okay, that was. i didn't expect you to actually do it,' chan says, slightly flustered, 'and so casually too.'

'no one is complaining,' rose insists next to him, hitting his arm, 'no one is complaining.'

'i never said i was!' chan exclaims, 'i'm just... not used to all this nudity.'

'oh come on, you took your top off without hesitation last time,' lalisa points out.

'that's different!'

'why?' dawon asks with a shit eating grin.

'yeah, why?' bambam says.

'is it because i'm a woman?' jihyo accuses, grin wide on her face.

'no, i-'

'that's sexist!' luda calls, and chan buries his face in his hand in laughter.

'i give up!' he says, 'i was wrong! ignore me!'

'here, have a vodka lemonade,' rose says, handing him a beer can.

he takes a swig and almost spits it out.

'that's the tequila and lemon juice mix!'

'whoops,' lalisa says innocently from the other side of rose.

'i trusted you.'


'what's the weirdest thing you've fucked yourself with?' yoonoh asks and there's a collective screech of laughter.

'never choose truth when yoonoh's asking,' yoobin gasps between giggles, 'never. why hasn't anyone learnt this by now?'

'this is why we play kings,' yerin says, leaning against yugyeom, breathless from laughter.

'it's been asked, you gotta answer now,' yoonoh says, grinning wide.

'um,' rose says, closing her eyes, 'so like. probably. a hairbrush?'

there're hoots around the circle as rose flushes further to the tips of her ears and buries her face in her hands.

'rose, sweetie, it's okay,' dawon calls, 'it's not that weird. i've done it.'

rose gives her a thumbs up in thanks, face still buried in her other hand as the raucous continues around her.


'i have fuck all regrets about skipping lectures for this,' junyoung says after things have quietened down a bit, 'god, uni's kicking my ass.'

'i have to start medicine next year,' yuna sighs, 'my parents said i could study what i wanted this year as long as i commit to med school next year.'

'i'd definitely trust you as my doctor,' yerin says and yuna gives her a smile.

'i'm so glad i'm taking a gap year,' yoobin admits, 'i don't think i could go right back to school. i don't know if i'm even going to.'

'same,' jungkook says, 'like i kind of want to study? but i don't know what and i don't know if i could face actually going back to school.'

'it's a necessary evil nowadays, though,' mingyu sighs.

'i fucking hated school,' jungkook says, 'like from the very first day of grade one, i wanted out.'

'is that why you were absent so often?' jihyo says with a soft laugh and jungkook nods.

'yeah. i don't know what it is, i just. can't do schools. they freak me out. like, the building itself, it's hella weird. i've sat down and thought about it, and like. i like the people, it was hanging out with all of you, that was great, it's not like i was ever really bullied ot anything like that. the teachers were fine, for the most part.'

'just the work, huh,' seokmin says and jungkook shakes his head.

'not even the work! i had no problem with the work, i like learning, it's just... the school building itself. i'd see the building and like. straight out have panic attacks.'

'oh, shit, yeah, i remember you coming in to an exam like practically hysterical,' rose says, 'it was kinda terrifying.'

jungkook gives a helpless shrug, and his voice his shaky when he speaks. 'every single school i've been to, i would like. i would try to go to school some days, and then see the building and i just... couldn't do it. i don't know why. as soon as i had been inside the school for like an hour or two, the panic would pass, but any building that looks like a school just sends me into a complete panic! when i went to waldorf, i didn't miss a single day in matric, because waldorf didn't look like a school!'

there are tears running down his face as everyone looks on.

'jungkook, babe,' dawon says gently, 'i'm sorry, that really fucking sucks, like oh my god, but... what the actual fuck?'

jungkook bursts into laughter through his tears, and the others laugh too. 'i know,' he says, 'i have no idea. no offence taken, don't worry. it is funny.'


'did anyone think to bring coffee?' luda murmurs sleepily, blinking in the morning sunlight, sitting where she'd fallen asleep, a blanket around her shoulders.

'ask mingyu,' lalisa yawns, 'if anyone did, it would be him.'

'where is he?'

lalisa shrugs and luda swats feebly at her with a blanket covered hand.

'mingyu,' luda calls and minghao emerges from the tent, rubbing his eyes.

'sleeping,' he says and luda blinks up at him.

'did he bring coffee?'

minghao pauses, seeming to gather himself. 'i don't think so.'

'fuck,' lalisa sighs, 'i was counting on him.'

'maybe yoohyeon will be up for taking people on a coffee run,' minghao suggests, 'don't we need breakfast?'

luda offers him the packet of chips she'd been munching on. 'not all the snacks were eaten last night.'

minghao takes some and munches away happily before seeming to jolt more awake. 'right, fuck. i need to piss.'

'good morning to you too,' lalisa calls after him with a laugh as he stumbles away.

'what if yoohyeon doesn't want to drive?' luda asks.

'who else has their driver's,' lalisa says and makes grabby hands for the chips.


jungkook's starting to mix monster and vodka together when a car rolls up at about midday and rose gives a small cheer and claps.

'the last of the people!'

'we come bearing food and drinks!' yoonsun calls out the window as the car stops.

chan blinks at the car. 'is that a fucking mercedes.'

'it's not unheard of for people to own them,' woojin comments, focussing on pouring vodka into his (recently purchased and emptied) water bottle of orange juice.

chan shoots him a look. 'thanks, i had no idea.'

woojin shoots him a brilliant grin.

'sicheng, my man,' jungkook says, approaching the car, 'nice ride, but you know you don't have to show off for us plebs, right?' he gives sicheng a grin as he climbs out the drivers seat with a laugh.

'my bmw was in the shop because of a minor fender bender, so i used this one. the bentley's a bit small, and i wasn't going to ask my parents to borrow one of their cars,' sicheng says and jungkook blinks.

'you... this is yours? like, actually yours? this is your car?'

'yeah,' sicheng says casually, 'well, one of them. i have three cars.'

'cool,' jungkook says, eyes still wide, 'i have... a job.'

minkyung laughs from where she'd just climbed out of the car and gives jungkook a hug.

'actually three,' jungkook says, 'i have three jobs. so. jesus, i forgot just how disgustingly rich you are.'

'i came with a bootful of food and alcohol,' sicheng says dryly.

'i love you, though,' jungkook says instantly, 'i just had to recalibrate, thank you, i love you. how's school going?'

'i hate you,' sicheng says instantly.

'please still let me eat your food.'

'ah, the responsible people arrive,' dawon calls, already hugging kyungwon and eunbi laughs.

'partially responsible, you mean,' eunbi says, 'considering that the entire way here sicheng was saying he's not going to school on monday, and the vote was unanimous.'

'there was an attempt,' yuna laughs and gives eunbi a hug.

'i try,' eunbi says.

'i don't,' yoonsun remarks, 'but my mom makes me.'

'relatable,' kyungwon says.

'ooh, there's place to make a fire!' minkyung says, 'did you guys make a fire last night?'

'we started drinking early and didn't want to risk playing with fire,' dawon says.

'at least, more fire than a bong,' bambam adds.

'let's make a fire tonight?' minkyung suggests.

'do we have anything to make a fire with?' dawon asks.

'no,' mingyu says definitively.

'does anyone know how to make a fire,' yuna says, 'i feel like that's the important question.'

dawon looks at mingyu expectantly.

'why do you just assume i would be able to make a fire,' he deadpans.

'i figure the people most likely to know how to would be you or jungkook,' dawon says, 'do you?'

'not really,' mingyu says, 'like, i know the theory but i don't have much practice.'

'i can make a fire!' luda says excitedly, 'i can totally make a fire!'

minkyung holds out her hand for a high five. 'yes, fire is on!'

'mingyu can cook food on it!'

'did i volunteer?' mingyu demands and dawon pats his arm.

'you're the designated cook, you know this,' she tells him.

'i never agreed to this,' mingyu says.

'you absolutely did, pretty sure we have it in writing,' dawon insists.


they're comfortably full from the food mingyu's fed them, as a part of the meal, seated around the fire in the twilight and trying to decide if they're too drunk to keep it going or not.

'wait, shh,' lalisa shushes everyone, brow furrowing. 'did anyone else hear that?'

'hear what?' jimin asks and lalisa waves a hand at her.

'hey,' jihyo scolds, swatting at yugyeom, 'shut up.'

there's a miraculous few seconds of silence, and they hear a call of 'MARCO'.

'polo,' comes a few scattered replies from around the group, mina lazily comfortable leaning against dongmin.

'i thought we were the only people here,' gyujin says, confused.

'we are,' yoonoh says, just as confused.

'a murderer wouldn't be yelling marco, would they?' jungkook asks.

'we could take a singular murderer,' jiho says assuredly, 'gyujin will take him down.'

'oh fuck off,' gyujin says with a laugh.

'no, wait, are we missing someone?' yubin asks, looking around the circle.


'where's yerin?' bambam asks.

'fucking right next to you, dumbass,' yerin says with a snort.


'i wanna say donghyuk,' minghao says, eyes narrowed, 'he did come, right?'

'yeah,' dawon says, 'he was here.' she peers around the circle. 'woojin, wasn't donghyuk sitting next to you earlier?'

woojin blinks at her. 'i'll be honest, i don't remember most of your names right now. maybe. the dude who was sitting next to me is no longer there, so. if you say that's donghyuk, i'll trust you on it.'

'donghyuk!' yells junhoe.

'i'm lost!' comes the faint reply.

'it's donghyuk,' junhoe tells the rest of the group.

'where did he go?' yoohyeon says with a laugh.

'bathroom, i think,' woojin says sagely.

'that's... okay.' yoohyeon shakes her head. 'i guess.'

'there's been a lot of alcohol consumed.'

'we should go find him,' jungkook says.

'marco!' yells junhoe.

'polo,' comes the reply from various points around the circle.

'fucking no, wrong people,' junhoe says with a laugh.

'expedition!' seokmin says, struggling up to his feet.

'ooh,' kyungwon says, eyes lighting up, 'we should make a thing out of it! like... there are dunes, right? hear me out- night hike.'

'yeah,' junyoung says excitedly, 'that'll be cool.'

'we need- we'll need torches,' luda says.

'no, it's fine, i eat a lot of carrots,' junyoung assures her as people stumble to their feet around them.

'you coming?' chan asks and rose reaches out her hands.

'pull me up,' she says, 'it'll be pretty.'

he takes her hands and leans back, pulling her up and only not falling because he stumbles into yugyeom.

'have fun,' junhoe says, looking up at everyone, 'i'm not moving.'

'same, though,' yoobin says, 'i'm quite comfortable.'

'we're coming, donghyuk!' calls mingyu, 'we're just- fuck.' he stumbles a bit.

'hydration is very important on a hike,' jihyo tells yoohyeon.

'that's a lot of vodka in orange juice,' yoohyeon replies.

'it's liquid, it counts,' jihyo maintains.

there's a few people scattered around the fire, refusing to actually get up as the rest move towards where the vegetation (and ideally donghyuk) is in a meandering huddle.

'you better not leave me behind,' gyujin is complaining to junyoung and anyone else around him, 'like literally, if i end up alone in the wilderness in the dark, i will cry.'

'this can only end in disaster,' jiho sighs, reclining on her elbows.

'you're welcome to try stop them,' junhoe invites.



'i regret everything,' kyungwon says the next morning, 'who the fuck decided a hike was a good idea.'

'literally you,' minkyung says.

'yeah, but what kinda fucking dumbass decided to listen to me? drunk me is not to be trusted, i thought we'd established this.'

'i am feeling muscles i didn't know i had,' jihyo bemoans.

'i know i had these muscles,' minkyung says, 'but the only thing that's made me feel them before this was sex.'

'i feel you,' rose says, 'and i didn't even do the whole hike.'

'yeah, what happened to you? did you get lost?' jihyo asks.

'didn't you see them?' yoonoh says with a laugh, 'her and chan plonked down and joined us again on the way back.'

'it started another hill and we decided we weren't doing that,' rose defends, 'chan had alcohol and snacks so we made ourselves comfortable.'

'oh, really,' minkyung says with a sly grin and jihyo laughs.

'no!' rose protests, 'we literally did nothing but talk! and drink. and eat. it was totally innocent.'

'wait, i kinda remember that,' kyungwon says, squinting up as though the sunlit clouds would give her an answer, 'you guys were there, then i heard a very distinct fuck that and then you were gone.'

'you actually came to check on us,' rose says with a laugh, 'then went to join the rest. said you were safe with minkyung.'

'sounds about right,' kyungwon sighs and surveys the campsite. 'how are people drinking again already.'

'it's the last day,' jihyo comments, 'its pretty guaranteed that getting fucked up early is a must.'

'pretty sure junhoe hasn't been sober since he arrived,' yoonoh says.

'he's not the only one,' rose says, 'the birthday gang are being kept well oiled.'

'well, there hasn't been any complaints from them.'

'dongmin absolutely threw up on the hike last night,' jihyo says, 'that's why we decided to head back. i think. well, after a little bit more.'


everyone's loud and happy again by the time nightfall rolls around, any aches and pains numbed by copious spirits, and another fire lit with only a little bit of a scare about something other than the designated wood being set alight.

'i have a blanket!' chan announces triumphantly, one of the several who actually noticed the cooler temperatures, blanket wrapped over his shoulders.

'share?' rose whines, looking up at him with round eyes and he laughs and waddles over.

'only if it doesn't leave my shoulders,' chan tells her, 'i literally did not bring anything with sleeves.'

'you actually brought a change of clothes?' seokmin asks.

'i brought an extra pair of pants,' chan says, 'no extra shirts.'

'i can agree to that,' rose says, 'i don't feel like looking for my jersey. come warm me up?'

chan gives a nod and settles behind her, positioning his legs on either side of her and wrapping the blanket around the both of them.

'thank you,' she says and feeds him a chip.


yoohyeon's in hysterics when she stumbles back to the campsite, and it's been long enough since the laughter started that everyone's already primed and curious.

'what?' yerin asks.

'you can't laugh like that and then not tell us,' jungkook adds.

'junhoe,' yoohyeon wheezes and collapses into laughter before she can continue. 'okay, no,' she says, 'fuck, junhoe passed out.'

'o...kay?' donghyuk says.

'no, you don't understand,' yoohyeon says, grin wide with glee, 'he went to piss, and passed out against the tree he was leaning and pissing against. he's still leaning against it.'

jungkook falls over while he's scrambling up in his excitement. 'who has a charged phone?' he demands, 'this needs to be recorded.'

'i thought you guys were hooking up, not gonna lie,' kyungwon says.

'i've known junhoe since preschool,' yoohyeon says, 'he's like my brother. he is literally the last person here i would hook up with.'


junhoe's been recovered and is pouting next to jungkook, wrapped in a blanket, when yuna blinks blearily at the car pulling up.

'guys,' she says, 'guys, holy shit.'

'what?' eunbi says, looking around wildly.

'it worked!'

'what worked?' mina asks.

'ordering pizza!'

'oh my god, i forgot we did that,' dongmin says, staring round eyed at the joint seokmin's holding.

'fuck, we need to pay,' minghao says, and starts patting his pockets.

'dude, i got it,' sicheng assures him, 'the... it's in the car, don't... you don't even have your wallet on you.'

'yeah, but-'

'it's fine, i said i'd pay.'

'you sure?' minkyung asks, 'i can probably contribute.'

'we can hash it out tomorrow,' sicheng says, 'i'm stoned and i want pizza, and my credit card will get us that asap, so. i'm paying. help me up.'

'pizza!' jimin cheers.

'i'm not carrying it all, so you bitches can come help with that,' sicheng calls over his shoulder as he stumbles towards his car.


'i'm dying,' bambam says the next day, lying flat on his back. 'oh my god.'

'i don't give a fuck,' jimin says, 'unless you're actually dead, get up and help clean up.'

'it's only like one,' bambam whines, 'isn't everyone only leaving later?'

'get up and clean,' jimin insists, 'you can die later.'

'why doesn't junhoe have to help?' bambam complains, looking over to where junhoe is lying near the remnants of the fire, sunglasses on.

'i think he's legitimately dead,' jimin says, 'i don't think moving agrees with him right now. also, the birthday gang don't have to clean up, it's still during the birthday rush. it's actually jiho's birthday today.'

'i know, that's why we had cake for breakfast,' bambam says, 'but like.'

'imma dump all this mystery drink on you if you don't get up.'

'i'm up!' bambam yelps, scrambling up.


'you good?' jihyo asks.

'no,' yoonsun replies with a light laugh, 'not really. i was drinking the last of that tequila like it was a beer last night. i've been shaking all morning.'

'that sounds... horrible,' jihyo admits.

'i'll be okay,' yoonsun says, 'i think i just need something more substantial than junk food in me right now, though.'

'maybe there's left over pizza,' yerin suggests from next to jihyo.

'i doubt it, but let me know,' yoonsun says, giving them a salute.


'oh my god, i'm touching the tent,' yoohyeon teases, 'look at this, gyujin, we're allowed to touch the tent!'

'could you maybe do it quieter,' minghao tells them from where he's sitting next to where they're taking down the tent, rubbing at his temples. 'these painkillers need to kick in already.'

'i'm feeling fine,' mingyu says.

'you're still drunk,' minghao tells him.

'that would be why i'm not taking the tent down,' mingyu says, nodding in agreement.


'where is the birthday girl, anyway?'

'i'm pretty sure she went to go try wash off the champagne she was sprayed with at midnight. she was complaining of feeling sticky.'


'you catching a lift back with yoohyeon again?' rose asks and chan yawns.

'nah, woojin and i are switching places with eunbi and yoonsun. sicheng's going nearer to town, makes more sense,' he tells her and she nods.

'yeah, that does make sense.'


'i'm sticking with my same lift,' rose says, 'yoonoh practically goes past my place.'

'ah.' chan nods, his hand in his pockets.

there's a few moments of silent nodding.

'uh,' chan says, looking down at his feet, 'so this is. um. it was... it was cool hanging with you this weekend.'

'yeah,' rose says with a smile, 'we had some good talks.'

'yeah,' chan laughs, 'you owe me a performance.'

'oh, shit, yeah,' rose says, 'you're going to judge my guitar skills.'

'you're almost definitely better than me,' chan assures her.

'we'll see about that.'

'yeah,' chan says, 'i hope so.' he worries at his bottom lip with his teeth for a few moments. 'you wanna go out sometime?' he says suddenly. 'maybe? like a date. uh, with me.'

rose laughs. 'i'm very glad you're not asking me out for someone else,' she says, her smile wide.

'yeah?' he says, slight smile on his face.

'well, i'd have to say no if you were,' rose tells him.

'oh?' he says, his eyebrows furrowing the slightest bit.

'that's a yes to the date with you, by the way,' she assures him hurriedly.

'oh!' he says then laughs. 'i'm still recovering from the last three days, i'm a little slow on the uptake.'

'that's fair,' she tells him.

'so. you...' he scratches at his neck. 'you want to go out with me?'

'i already said yes,' she tells him, smiling fondly. 'um. yeah.'

'sweet,' he says, a grin breaking out widely on his face. 'that's... yeah, that's great.' he gives a thumbs up and she giggles.

she tucks her hair behind her ear before darting forward and pressing a kiss his cheek.

'ooh,' he says when she skips back, grin wide on his face and pink tinting his cheeks. 'ha.' he gives a flustered chuckle and presses the back of his hand to his cheek. 'ah.' he fans his face a little bit and rose covers her face with her hands, giggling.

'that was disgusting.'

they turn to see woojin grinning at them, drink in hand.

'i love it,' he assure them.

'shouldn't you be sobering up?' chan asks.

woojin shrugs. 'i've been told i'm not allowed to be sober until my actual birthday, so. you can take that up with the authorities.'

'the authorities?' chan says with a laugh.

'probably jimin,' rose says.

'absolutely jimin,' woojin confirms.

'don't know why i asked,' chan agrees, nodding.

'and also lalisa,' woojin adds.

'that's on friday, though,' chan says, 'dude.'

'i can try,' woojin says, 'it's not sounding like a bad idea.'

'isn't it?' chan asks with a laugh.

'right now, anyway,' woojin says with a laugh and lifts his drink in a cheers and a wink.

Chapter Text

snacky chan

[rose] so cute

[rose] so adorable

[rose] so handsome

[mina] not that i'm complaining but why are we getting treated to a teddy bear spam
[lalisa] shh just let it happen
[rose] the most precious

[rose] look at the cheeks

[dabdab] lol what did chan do
[rose] i'm just appreciating this sublimeness

[rose] blessing the world

[jihyo] beautiful
[chan] hey so you do remember you're dating me right

[jihyo] bEAUTIFUL
[chan] dude

[yugyeom] HA
[rose] jimin
[chan] JIMIN Y
[dabdab] i think im actually crying
[j'amie] :D
[j'amie] so easily
[chan] im so upset
[chan] why don't i get nice picture spam
[rose] because i have no pictures of you take more selfies bruh
[yugyeom] some of those woojin pictures weren't selfies
[rose] yeah chan literally sent me those, edits and all
[dabdab] gheii
[woojin] chan my dude
[woojin] why
[chan] because you're adorable?? shut up
[minghao] im making that baby chan picture into a phonecase
[chan] N O
[j'amie] YES
[dabdab] i'm living
[woojin] wait you need to see my fave picture of chan
[woojin] from when i first met him
[woojin] at plett rage
[jihyo] damn you could afford plett rage?
[mina] must be nice
[woojin] my parents paid
[woojin] it was slightly cheaper than a car
[j'amie] everybody shut up i have to see this picture
[chan] please no

[chan] oh god
[jihyo] B E A U T I F U L
[rose] i'd hit it
[mina] you do
[rose] oh right
[rose] what day was that
[chan] i don't remember
[yugyeom] how drunk were you
[chan] very
[woojin] i think it was like day 4 or something
[yugyeom] did you just take a picture of a rando tho
[woojin] lmao no our tents were close to each other and we ended up in a pseudo buddy circle of like four or five tents
[woojin] like making sure everyone was safe during the week
[woojin] we were party tight and then ended up being neighbours in res lol
[jihyo] what a beautiful meet cute
[dabdab] sorry are we looking at the same picture

Chapter Text

'to cover it's butt quack.'

chan grins widely from where he's leaning against rose, and she covers her face with her hand.

'why do i like you?' she asks, unable to stop a smile pulling at her lips.

he tilts his head back to look up at her. 'because i'm hot.'

'if you say so,' she laughs.

he pouts up at her, feigning offense.

'you're very hot,' she relents and leans down slightly to give him a light kiss.

he chases her lips when she pulls back and she gives in with a soft laugh, giving him another kiss.

her eyes flutter shut as her lips part to meet with his, and he entwines his fingers with hers above his chest.

woojin looks up from his phone from where he's sitting on the beanbag in the corner of chan's room and raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. when he sees a flash of tongue, he rolls his eyes and takes a swig of his beer.

'you could ask me to leave, you know' he remarks dryly and they break apart quickly, laughing.

'no!' rose says liltingly, 'no, sorry, no, we don't want you to go. i want to hang out with you too!'

'plus i forgot to get condoms so you being here is really good for curbing any risky behaviour,' chan says with a laugh and rose hits his shoulder as woojin lets out a bark of laughter.

'wow,' woojin says emphatically, amused grin wide on his face, 'i feel so valued, as a friend, right now.'

rose is in hysterics and chan is very close behind.

'no, i'm sorry,' chan says eventually, once they've all calmed down a bit. 'i promise you're here for more than just birth control. but that might be your new name on my phone.'

'my life goal,' woojin says, mirth still filling his voice.

Chapter Text

[jimin] how you been my dude
[jk] pretty good
[jk] my parents are away so its just me and my brother at home
[jk] and his girlfriend
[jk] i literally haven't left my room in three days
[jimin] aside from food or bathroom right lol
[jk] no
[jk] turns out if you don't eat or drink anything you don't need the loo?
[jimin] wtf
[jimin] jungkook that is not healthy
[jk] but bed is comfy and anime
[jimin] what the fuck
[jimin] i'm calling your brother
[jimin] i don't know his number
[jimin] i'm bringing you mcdonalds
[jk] i also haven't showered in 3 days
[jimin] i'll live
[jimin] not sure you will
[jimin] jfc jungkook you are the laziest person on the face of this planet stg

Chapter Text

'hi, hi, hi,' chris says brightly, slinging an arm around rose's waist.

'oooh, no, no, no, no,' rose says with a faint laugh, carefully lifting chan's arm off her. 'no touchy.'

chan blinks, concerned. 'did i do something wrong?'

'oh, no, no, no,' rose assures him, patting his cheek and giving it a light kiss. 'no, you're fine, you didn't do anything, just. no touchy tonight.'

chan gives a slow nod, eyeing rose warily. 'okay. are you sure i didn't do anything wrong? only you were absolutely okay with jimin hanging onto you like two seconds ago.'

'oh. yeah,' rose says with a sheepish grin. 'it's kinda just no touchy from you? other people are fine. sorry.'

chan narrows his eyes.

'but you're fine!' rose hastens to add, 'you're golden! you didn't do anything wrong, i promise.'

'am i going to get an explanation?' chan asks.

'maybe?' rose says with a beguiling grin. 'not right now, though.'

'are you okay?'

rose nods hurriedly. 'i'm fine! everything's fine! we're good, i'm good, i swear.'

chan nods slowly. 'okay. cool. i trust you. you need another drink?'

rose beams. 'please. thank you.'


'hey,' chan says, settling down on the bricks next to rose in the early hours of dawn, and goes to put an arm around her before pausing.

'hey,' rose replies with a smile. she glances at his arm and shifts closer, taking his hand and putting his arm around her shoulder.

'how you doing?'

rose laughs. 'bit better. really wish i slept more, but...'

'ah, who needs sleep,' chan says with a laugh.

'me,' rose tells him, 'and you. everyone. sleep is important. i would probably be able to still feel the alcohol in my system if i hadn't thrown up. i can't find the bucket i threw up into either, which is worrying. i wanted to clean it up.'

chan chuckles. 'you already did that. like, right after you threw up.'

'i did?'

chan nods. 'very conscientious.' he watches a pink shot cloud meander across the sky for a few moments.

'i owe you an explanation,' rose says.

'no, you don't,' chan says easily, 'not if you mean it when you say you weren't upset with me.'

'i do,' rose says, 'and... i do.'

chan looks over at her, smile playing at his lips. 'i do's already?'

'shut up,' she laughs, nudging him, then: 'i took a pregnancy test earlier.'

chan jolts in shock, his arm falling from her shoulder. 'what?'

'it was negative,' she assures him, 'i'm not pregnant, thank fuck. but... it may have freaked me out a bit? that's why i wasn't keen on you touching me.'

'ah,' chan says, and removes his arm from behind her, resting it on his knees.

'i'm over it now,' rose says, 'it's okay.'

'mmhmm,' chan says, leaving his arm right where it is, staring off into the middle distance.

rose blinks at him for a few seconds before bursting into giggles, and he lets out a huff of laughter.

'you need your moment, huh,' she manages, and he tilts his head with a wry grin.

'yeah, pretty sure my heart stopped for a second back there,' he admits.

'that's fair,' rose says with a nod. 'okay. i can respect that.'

chan flashes her a grin. 'i'm pretty sure that counts as a near death experience.'

'near life experience,' she counters and winces through her laughter. 'no, too soon. oh god.'

'birth control!' chan says when the gate shifts and woojin squints sleepily at it before shuffling through, blanket around his shoulders and coffee in his hands. chan scoots up and pats the ground between him and rose, much to rose's amusement. 'come, sit here.'

woojin squints at them in faint suspicion before visibly giving up caring and maneouvering himself down.

'morning,' he mumbles, his voice scratchy and rose repeats the greeting, leaning back a little to shae her head at chan with a fond smile.

chan grins in reply and reaches out to poke her arm until she holds his hand, their joined hands settling on the bricks behind woojin.

it takes a few minutes before woojin's brow furrows as he looks at the angle of chan's arm next to him, turning to look at rose the other wide of him and twisting to see their joined hands behind him.

'really?' he asks, sleepily exasperated. he shakes his head and goes back to staring into space, sipping on his coffee.

chan gives a soft chuckle and lifts his hand, bringing rose's hand closer.

'if you kiss her hand, i'm pouring this coffee on you,' woojin says serenely.

Chapter Text

[lalisa] its rose
[minghao] don't you mean
[rose] you accidentally start a fire ONE TIME
[lalisa] i appreciate the basically nonexistent defence
[jihyo] arsonist?
[jihyo] you dare disrespect chandra, supreme firebender like that
[da₩] okay first of all, firebender
[jihyo] fuck
[jihyo] pyromancer
[da₩] second this is blatant jaya ballard erasure
[minghao] yeah how could you forget the og firebender
[chan] the real q is am i the roaring flame's long awaited leviathan
[dabdab] lol no
[mina] don't be mean to dad
[chan] stop calling me dad
[dabdab] it's not dad
[dabdab] it's his dick
[dabdab] OOOH
[woojin] burn
[yugyeom] buuuurn
[dabdab] guys i'm calling his dick a mythical giant sea monster. not sure that's an insult
[woojin] the mythical part

Chapter Text

'wow, mina's really taking the teddy bear nickname to heart, huh,' dawon comments when she re-enters the garage the next morning to see mina curled up against woojin, both still asleep, her head on his chest, looking very comfortable.

'oh, they absolutely fucked last night,' junyoung says from where he's curled up in his blanket, and the room turns to look at him.

'but he was here all night,' rose says in mild confusion.

junyoung nods. 'yeah.'

there's a silence as the room processes this.

'so then-' yugyeom starts, from where he's sitting next to the pair in question.

'i woke up briefly after everyone had gone to sleep,' junyoung says, 'well. almost everyone. decided i wsa not thirsty enough to make it known that i was also awake.'

'oh my god,' dawon says, mouth agape.

'i would not have expected that from those two,' minghao says from where he's leaning against the doorframe behind her.

'truth,' lisa agrees, eyes sill wide, 'i would have put my money on those two over there.' she tilts her head to where rose and chan are cuddled up in the corner.

rose lifts her hands in indignation.

'we would never,' chan says.

'it's not you i don't trust,' lisa says with a winning smile.

'how dare you,' rose says in response.

'i guess that explains the open condom wrapper on the table,' yugyeom says listlessly, staring at said condom wrapper.

gyujin looks at the half deflated stray condom balloons dotted around the room. 'not really,' he says.

'one can only hope they picked up one fo the unused ones,' dawon says to a murmur of agreement.

it's only about three quarters of an hour before woojin stirs and mina scrunches her nose at the movement below her as she also starts waking up.

the garage is filled with chatter, not too loud to upset potential sore heads but loud enough to drown out the quiet half asleep muttering between mina and woojin as they slowly move towards wakefulness.
dawon nudges minghao when she notices, a shit-eating grin on her face as she nods her head towards them. an identical grin blooms on minghao's face and he raises his hand to get everyone's attentionbefore pointing to where woojin is slowly sitting up.

the dying down chatter is replaced by a sharp whistle from jungkook followed by cheers and applause that causes both mina and woojin to jolt in surpise.

'why,' is woojin's cautious response.

'heard you guys got very close last night,' jihyo says with a lascivious grin and mina stills.

'you know people wake up, right, sometimes even after drinking, like me, i wake up, i woke up,' junyoung tells them and mina flushes.

'oh, birth control, you're growing up!' chan fakes a sob.

'you know i had a girlfriend when we met,' woojin deadpans and chan waves him off.

'yeah, but you guys broke up like first month of uni, doesn't count,' chan insists.

'but can he really still be called birth control if he's engaging in risky behaviour?' lisa asks with a laugh.

'yeah, he just becomes an iud,' chan says, and the room dissolves into shrieks as woojin goes the slightest bit pink.

'i'm changing your contact right now,' yugyeom laughs, reaching for his phone.

'thanks, i hate it,' woojin manages.

'mina sure didn't,' junyoung interjects with a grin, and mina removes a hand from her face to flip him off.

'can i leave,' woojin asks.

'no,' comes the chorus.

Chapter Text

'oh, hang on,' jimin says, looking at her phone, 'voicenote from jungkook.'

'it's not gonna be sexual, right,' dawon teases and jimin rolls her eyes.

'it's been a while since we did anything like that,' she laughs and presses play.

'uh hey,' jungkook's voice says, 'bit of a dumb moment, but how do you spell her? i think i know, but i've just written it down and it looks wrong.'

there's a few monents of silence.

'he said her, right?' dawon asks as jimin types something.

'i think so,' she says, 'i've just sent him the spelling. wait, let me check.' she hits record and holds her phone up closer. 'you mean her, right? like… she/her, him/her?'

it's a few second before she gets a reply, another voicenote.

'i thought that was how! i was right!' jungkook's voice echoes triumphantly. 'yeah, it just looked weird.'

dawon can't help herself any longer and bursts into laughter.

'wait, there's another one,' jimin says, grinning widely and dawon tries to control herself.

'i figured out why it looked weird,' floats up from the phone, 'i wrote it with a capital h.'

'please,' dawon cackles, 'just let me say something to him.'

jimin's laughing even as she holds the phone closer to a hysterical dawon.

'jungkook, i love you,' dawon calls, 'what the fuck. i'n sorry.'

'i'm not,' jimin says.

'it's fine,' comes the mirthful reply moments later, 'i'm laughing at myself too. love you guys too.'

Chapter Text

'okay, uh…' yugyeom pauses for a few seconds and then shoots a grin at jungkook, sitting on the floor with a solitary finger up. 'never have i ever found myself on a fourth floor balcony of an apartment i've never been to, high as fuck, and holding a stranger's baby.'

'what?' jihyo says with a laugh.

'that is so fucking targeted, fuck you,' jungkook complains, putting his hands down and reaching for the alcohol.

'how did you get yourself in that situation?' mingyu asks.

'i don't know,' jungkook says, wincing after his first shot, 'it just kind of happened.'