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“Oh, Raina!” Sergius put the back of his hand against his forehead. “How I love you so!”

“And, I, you.” Raina responded. “If we were to depart, I should die by my own hands.”

“And, yet, if you did, I might have to do the same.”

“Oh, Sergius!” Raina swooned into Sergius’s arms, keeping up the facade for a few seconds before breaking down laughing. Sergius followed suit.

“You two are absolutely ridiculous.” Louka entered the room the two were in and crossed her arms.

“And you have a habit of listening in on conversations that aren’t yours.” Raina said.

“As if you don’t do the same.”

“Louka! I’m appalled to even dare think of doing such a thing!” Raina put a hand to her chest.

“Yes, it is lies and slander, Louka.” Sergius stated. “How dare you accuse our precious Raina of such an offense.”

“Clearly you forget the numerous times Raina has eavesdropped on the rest of our conversations.” Louka deadpanned.

“Must have slipped my mind.” Sergius went towards Louka nad slithered an arm around her waist. “But you’re looking beautiful tonight.”

“It’s the afternoon.” Louka made no move to move away from Sergius’s grasp. “But thank you. Raina, you look beautiful as well.”

“Th-thank you.” Raina fought to keep from laughing at the look of utter betrayal on Sergius’s face. “But I’ll have to say that Sergius looks very heroic today.”

Sergius brightened at the compliment.

“Yes, I am very handsome, aren’t I?”

“Keep that attitude up and you’ll follow any old dame who throws a compliment at you.” Bluntschli entered the room.

“Blunt-” Sergius began, but Raina interrupted him.

“Bluntschli!” Raina threw herself at him. “It’s so good to see you! You’ve been so busy with work, we hardly get to see you.”

“Well, one of my assistants practically forced me to go back home and spend time with my wonderful wife.”

“What about your boyfriend and girlfriend?” Sergius questioned, pouting.

“Of course I’ll spend time with you two as well.” Bluntschli planted a kiss on Raina’s forehead and went over to Sergius and Louka to do the same to them.

“Thank you.” Louka said before looking over to her husband. “Are you going to thank him as well? You were the one who asked after all.”

Sergius simply looked embarrassed and refused to make eye contact with Bluntschli.

“Oh, come onn! We’ve all been dating each other for a year, and you’re still embarrassed by this?”

“Thank you.” Sergius mumbled. Bluntschli sighed and made a small smile.

“Good enough.”

“What are we going to do now that Bluntschli is here?” Raina asked, going towards the other three.

“Oh, I have an idea.” Louka smirked. The other three blushed brightly.

“Louka! It’s not proper to suggest,” Raina sputtered. “Th-that! Have some tact!”

“I did use some tact. It’s a wonder all of you understood what I meant.” Louka crossed her arms. “Most of the time I have to be more direct to get one of you to fuck me.”

Sergius gasped.

“Louka! We are in polite company!”

“That company is our boyfriend and girlfriend, Sergius.” Louka said. Bluntschli laughed.

“Louka, have you been spending time with Bluntschli in secret?” Raina had a small smile on her face at an attempt to keep from laughing. “Or does Sergius actually make an effort to censor himself in front of Bluntschli and me?”

“I don’t censor myself in your company. I just don’t curse often.” Sergius defended.

“He’s a fucking liar.” Louka declared, and Sergius once again looked like he had been betrayed.

“A liar, huh?” Raina looked slyly at Sergius. “I, for one, don’t give a damn if you swear.”

“I second that notion.” Bluntschli agreed. “I don’t give a single shit.”

“I can’t believe you’re all ganging up on me.”

“It’s not like you seem appalled at all by our swearing.” Raina pointed out. “In fact, you look a little red.”

“You’ve got a little soldier in your pants.” Louka said.

“Care for it to be a chocolate cream soldier? Bluntschli asked. Sergius buried his face in his hands in embarrassment.

“Well, Sergius?” Louka purred. “Would you like to?”

“I…” Sergius gulped. “Yes, we should, we should go to the bedroom.”