13 November 2017
MrsH: Well Sherlock I have to say I’m a bit disappointed I didn’t hear it from you first
MrsH: She’s a bit old for you, don’t you think?
GL: Oh that’s brilliant
JW: Best one in a while
JW: Good find Mrs. Hudson
MrsH: I’ve got a google alert for him! It’s such fun!
SH: I regret showing you how to set that up.
GL: “Though Holmes and Thompson have kept coy about their relationship, a close associate of Holmes says he is ‘smitten’ with her. ‘He can’t stop talking about her,’ the associate reports. ‘Anytime he’s not on a case, it’s all Emma this and Emma that.’”
GL: Can you even imagine Sherlock smitten with anything other than a locked room with a corpse in it?
GL has changed Anything But Lestrade’s Love Life Ta Very Much to Holmes-Thompson Wedding Planning Committee
GL: Yeah, but HILARIOUS drivel
MrsH: Honestly I wish it were true, she seems like such a dear!
MrsH: Perhaps you could at least give it one date, Sherlock?
MoH: I thought you were still hung up on Princess Beatrice??
JW: No, that was ages ago
JW: It was Khloe Kardashian last month I thought
MoH: Oh, right!
SH: Glad you’re all enjoying yourselves.
SH: Haven’t any of you got anything better to do than read the Mirror?
SH: Don’t most of you have jobs?
GL: Oh my god and the photos!
GL: Where’d they even find a photo of you smiling?!
GL: “Meanwhile, Holmes’ associate noted that the man’s longtime companion, John Watson, is preparing to move out of the home they share in Baker Street. Despite longstanding rumors that Watson and Holmes share more than just a flat, ‘John’s very happy for them,’ says the associate, who asked to remain anonymous to preserve their friendship with Holmes.”
MoH: Oh my goodness! Tossing John and Rosie out for Emma Thompson after just three weeks!
MoH: Must be serious
SH: John is much more likely to request that I vacate 221B than the other way round.
JW: Hang on, what?
JW: Why would I kick you out?
SH: There are several possible reasons.
SH: Would you like a list in order of likelihood?
JW: No, I wouldn’t
JW: That’s ridiculous
JW: You’re ridiculous
JW: Don’t say things like that, I’m not going anywhere and neither are you
JW: Unless you really WOULD like Emma Thompson to move in
JW: In which case I’m sure we can work something out
SH: I don’t even know who Emma Thompson IS.
SH: Is she a politician?
MoH: Oh, Sherlock
GL: And also, who are these anonymous associates of yours?
GL: Have you got other friends???
GL: Since presumably no one here is leaking information about your love life…
MH: I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Detective Inspector.
MH: The more that is handed to them, ludicrous though it may be, the less they dig.
GL: Hang on
GL: Are you saying that you feed the tabloids lies about Sherlock so they don’t bother looking for anything that’s true?
MH: It does keep things interesting, doesn’t it.
MoH: Do you make it all up then? All the stuff about Khloe Kardashian and them getting a dog together and taking it on a Mediterranean cruise and everything?
MH: I have people who handle the finer details.
MH: Though the part where he heartbrokenly dove off the ship after she ended things was a personal touch.
MrsH: Ooh I have some ideas next time you need a good one, if you’re taking submissions!
MH: I believe we’re not, at the moment.
MH: But if that changes, Anthea will contact you.