Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Yoongi stares at the huge wall clock that is hanging on the pale blue wall of his office. It was a gift from his father on his graduation day and it always stuck as weird to Yoongi. Why would his father gift him a clock but at least now he has some kind of use for it as it hangs on the wall.
It’s 6:15 pm.
They are gonna be here any minute, Yoongi thinks as he takes a deep breath. It’s not like Yoongi hasn’t done this before. He has done this many times before with a grim face meeting their eyes. He has seen many reactions, some people are just too stunned to react while some have started crying the moment Yoongi says it and he even has some enraged loved ones try to attack Yoongi like it was up to Yoongi to control something like that. He can’t do anything about it even if he wanted to.
He had met the young couple coming today about 6 months ago. He remembers seeing them sit together tightly holding hands staring at Yoongi.
“So the test results, they are back right?” the man asked.
“What does it say?” the man asked.
Yoongi looked at them and he could already feel the heavy feeling chest as he grabbed the reports from under the desk.
“Your wife,” he said. “She has a tumor in her head”
Yoongi saw their grip getting tighter as the wife looked down and the man looked at Yoongi outraged.
“Tumor, what do you mean? It’s not cancerous, right?”
Yoongi let out an inaudible sigh.
“It is malignant which means it’s cancerous,”
“What do you mean?” the man asked. “How is that possible? You must have gotten the tests wrong”
“Sir, the tests are correct, there are treatments for this” Yoongi said.
The man opened his mouth but no words came out. And suddenly Yoongi heard a sob coming out of his throat and then the crying began and Yoongi remained tight-lipped. He didn’t know what to say. He has never been good with handling crying patients or their families. He doesn’t know what to say to them. He doesn’t want to lie to them and tell them everything is gonna be okay. It’s cancer and most of the time things are not okay and that is the one thing that he is learned from being an oncologist.
The wife hugged her husband. Her eyes were shut and there were no tears as she patted his back. This didn’t surprise Yoongi. Often times the patients were much stronger.
“It’s gonna be fine,” she whispered to him but Yoongi heard it because the room was awfully quiet.
The man’s sobs eventually began to die down until he broke away from the hug and hastily wiped his face and then looked back at Yoongi again.
“What…what was the treatment you were talking about?”
Yoongi sat up a little straighter.
“We first have to do a surgery to remove the tumor and then proceed with radiation to kill off any cancer cells.”
“And she won’t have cancer anymore?” the man asked.
At this Yoongi didn’t know what to say. He can’t lie to the man to provide him a few months of comfort. It would be wrong. But he saw the love between them and Yoongi couldn’t help but feel guilty. He too used to be in love once and he understands the feeling but he has to go with the truth.
“We can’t… say anything as of now,” Yoongi said. “We’ll know as the treatment progresses”
“What do you mean?”
“Sir, we will try our best,” Yoongi said. “But you need to understand how cancer treatments work…they are often very complicated”
“I just want her to be okay,” the man said and he sounded close to crying.
“We’ll try our best,” was all Yoongi said and the man just nodded looking utterly defeated.
“You have to come tomorrow for the tests so we can do the surgery as soon as possible,” Yoongi said.
They nodded and after a few seconds they got up and left still holding hands.
Yoongi sighed and sat back as he sighed a little. He had done this so many times but every time it left him with a heavy feeling in his heart. He only wished he could help them.
Today, they are coming back so Yoongi can tell them the progress of the treatment.
It’s already 6:30 and it shouldn’t take much longer.
Suddenly Yoongi listens to the click of the door and he sits up straighter. They walk in and they look different. They aren’t the same youthful people they were six months ago. The wife looks exhausted wearing a beanie covering her bald head while the husband simply looks tired and lifeless but they are still holding hands,
Yoongi is generally very mistrusting about love. He has his reasons but when he looks at this couple and it feels so genuine, maybe because they haven’t been married for a whole year and they are going through such an ordeal but he can see the love and it only makes his heart feel heavier.
They sit down and look at Yoongi.
Yoongi clears a throat.
“The tumor…it has managed to return,” he says. “I am afraid the treatments didn’t work”
The man looks at Yoongi with widened eyes while the wife is looking at something on Yoongi’s desk.
“Does that…does that mean?”
“Three months maximum,” Yoongi finally says.
The man looks at Yoongi but his eyes are distant when the woman suddenly begins crying and the man hugs her and they stay like that. Yoongi feels like he is invading a private moment but he sits motionless letting them cry. There is not really much he can do anyway.
“I’m…I’m very sorry Mr. & Mrs. Choi,” he says. “I really am”
They don’t respond and their sobs fill the room until they eventually die down and the woman is suddenly smiling.
“We still have three months okay,” she says to her husband. “We can make it the best ever”
The man nods as he lightly kisses her palm and it brings back memories to Yoongi that he’d rather not think about them.
They stand up and then bow at Yoongi and Yoongi does the same until they leave and Yoongi is left in silence.
He glances up at the clock and it’s almost seven. He is done for today as he begins clearing out his desk and then switches off the light and leaves the office. He sees many nurses and doctors and gives them all a polite smile before making to the exit as he gets in his car.
He starts driving and in less than five minutes he gets a call. It is Seokjin of course.
Yoongi picks up and puts the phone on the speaker.
“Yoongi, you were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago,” Seokjin says.
“Sorry sorry I was stuck in work,”
“The same old excuse,” Seokjin complains.
“I’ll be there in about 20 minutes,” Yoongi says.
“You better be,” Seokjin says. “The 4 kids are hungry and they won’t stay quiet”
“Four?” Yoongi questions.
“You know damn well Namjoon is a kid too,” Seokjin says.
“Okay, I’ll be there in some time,” Yoongi says before hanging up.
Yoongi smiles a little to himself. Saturday evenings usually involve dinner at Seokjin’s house and Yoongi doesn’t have a choice but to go before his best friend gets mad. Yoongi knows Seokjin is doing this for him. So that Yoongi gets out of the house more and Seokjin gets to see him at least once a week. He wants the reassurance ever since that happened…
Yoongi soon reaches the building and parks before going up to the 4th floor where Seokjin lives with his family. He just knocks lightly at the door and in less than five seconds the door opens and he is greeted by three very enthusiastic kids smiling at him.
“Hey guys,” Yoongi said. “How are you all doing?”
“We missed you,” Taehyung says in a whiny voice and Jimin and Jungkook nod in agreement.
“I missed you guys too,” Yoongi says as he hugs them all together. Well, he at least tries but they are growing up so fast. Taehyung and Jimin are 8 now and little Jungkook is 6.
Yoongi still has a hard time believing that they are so grown up. He remembers seeing a 4-year-old Taehyung and Jimin with their big brown eyes and Jungkook who was 2 when he first came into Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s family.
“Finally you graced us with your presence,” Seokjin says.
“I told you I was stuck in work,” Yoongi says as he heads to the kitchen along with the kids and Seokjin where Namjoon is laying out the table.
“Hey Namjoon,” Yoongi says.
“Hey,” Namjoon smiles.
“Dad, can we eat now?” Taehyung asks.
“Yes, honey,” Seokjin smiles.
The three kids run to the table to grab their spots and Yoongi sits down grinning at their antics.
Namjoon tries to calm them down while Seokjin gets the food on the table.
When all of it is done they finally start eating.
Seokjin has made some Spaghetti Bolognese.
“So I was looking through recipes online and found this one,” Seokjin says.”How is it?”
“It is delicious as always,” Namjoon says. “Everything you make is tasty”
“Aw thank you, honey,” Seokjin says and gives Namjoon a kiss on the cheek.
“Is it good?” Seokjin asks Yoongi.
“It’s amazing,” Yoongi says.
Seokjin smiles and for some time they all just eat when Seokjin speaks up.
“So how has everything been?” Seokjin asks Yoongi.
“Good, good,” Yoongi says as he shoves forkful pasta in his mouth.
“Are you thinking about going out you know to bars and stuff?” Seokjin asks and he sounds casual but Yoongi knows that tone.
“No hyung I’m not seeing anyone,” Yoongi says.
Seokjin looks mildly surprised.
“There is this girl at Namjoon’s office and she is just amazing, I met her…,”
“Hyung no, I can’t not this soon…,” Yoongi trails off.
Seokjin’s eyes soften a little.
“I know but it’s been a year already,” Seokjin says.
“But I loved her and I still do,” Yoongi says a little too loudly and Jungkook looks at Yoongi slightly concerned.
“We hate seeing you like this,” Seokjin says.
“I know but I am just not ready to move on,” Yoongi says. “Not yet”
“She is a bitch you know,” Seokjin says.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything because he knows Seokjin is right but he can’t call her names when he still has a picture of her on his bedside table as pathetic it sounds.
“She just…,” Seokjin says. “I am not gonna ruin this not today”
Seokjin sighs and then eats his noodles while Namjoon looks at Yoongi his lips pressed together as he nods. Yoongi nods back. He is glad Namjoon is supportive enough and he has never pushed Yoongi to do anything, he appreciates it. Seokjin on the other hand was a completely different case. He took it upon him as a personal mission to get Yoongi out of his heartbroken state by trying to set him up with various girls but all of that failed.
Yoongi just doesn’t wanna move on. He is content with his Chinese takeout his cold empty bed and his soju. He doesn’t need another girl.
But Seokjin being the protective friend he is can’t bear to see Yoongi like this and as much as he appreciates Seokjin and his concern he frankly just wants to be alone for as long as possible and think about his ex-wife.
His ex-wife, whenever he even thought of her he had this strange feeling in his chest that is a mixture of pain and happiness. Jihyo was all kinds of amazing things. They met in college and even at the time Yoongi was puzzled as to why she chose him out of all the guys that were lined up for her. She was so beautiful with her long black hair, her high cheekbones, her pink lips and her long eyelashes and Yoongi loved her more than anyone ever. For Yoongi the world started on Jihyo and ended on her. She made Yoongi so happy, happier than he had ever been in his entire life.
When they were finally out of college Yoongi didn’t want to wait too long. He wanted to marry her so he proposed the same night at a graduation party and in the back of his mind he was so scared that she would say no but she didn’t. She said yes and Yoongi remembers lifting her off the ground and kissing her.
They married just two months later. Yoongi was 22 and Jihyo was 21.
It was all blissful and calm and Yoongi really thought he had hit jackpot with his life. He had everything he had ever dreamt of in life and it was sp perfect almost like a movie.
There’s a reason that movies aren’t real.
Because last year 8 years after their marriage he found her cheating right on their own bed and Yoongi was convinced that he was seeing things and that his own wife wouldn’t do something like that to him but it was real and his whole world came crashing down on him.
Perfect lives really don’t exist and neither do perfect love stories.
They divorced two months later and ever since Yoongi is left alone in his flat with only his memories of his cheating ex-wife to accompany him.
And he understands why Seokjin has so many concerns. It’s been over a year and Yoongi still hasn’t managed to move on. He still thinks about her and he still loves her even though she has moved to the opposite part of the city along with her beau (something that Yoongi found on her Facebook that he stalks occasionally) and she looks so happy. Yoongi doesn’t understand why he can’t be like her and move on. Why is he still stuck in his past? He wants to stop loving her and go out on dates too but he just can’t do it. He loved her too much. Sometimes he thinks he loved her more than he should have and that he took everything more seriously than her. Maybe to her everything was a temporary thing and it didn’t matter all that much. Maybe people, in general, had this notion of love but Yoongi doesn’t and that’s why he spends every day alone.
It is safe to say that Yoongi has lost his hope in love altogether.
Everyone has finished their dinner and takes their plate to the sink. Namjoon and the kids clear out everything on the table as Seokjin loads the dishwasher.
“Hey kids,” Yoongi says. “Anyone up for ice cream?”
Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook immediately start being hyper at the prospect of getting ice cream while Seokjin tuts.
“It’s literally just ice cream,” Yoongi says to Seokjin as he heads out with the kids to the small convenience store located near their building.
All of them demand different flavors and he ends up buying all of them as they go back to the flat very pleased with Yoongi hyung.
Since it’s Sunday and the kids don’t have school they manage to convince Seokjin to let them stay up to watch a movie. Yoongi joins in and Seokjin finally gives in and there are loud yelps of joy and very enthusiastic hugs for Yoongi.
They choose Despicable Me and it’s a fairly okay movie Yoongi thinks as he pays only half attention, he is thinking about the couple, his work, his life and he is also seeing Namjoon and Seokjin talking to each other in hushed voices. They are hardly watching the movie and are just into each other.
While Yoongi thinks that no one can love forever he is willing to make an exception when it comes to Namjoon and Seokjin. It has always been different between and they met around freshman year in college and ever since that time Yoongi has never seen a boy as in love as Namjoon and though it did take the time he ended up winning over Seokjin’s heart and they started dating. They married a year later Yoongi and then adopted Taehyung and Jimin the little twin brothers who managed to win everyone’s heart and a year later Jungkook made his way into their lives.
And they still managed to make marriage look like a piece of cake. They had their fights and their disagreements but in the end, they would always apologize and it would all be okay. They were so in love that it was almost unbelievable. Yoongi sometimes felt like he was jealous of his best friend’s relationship. Not exactly jealousy it was more of a longing feeling that he had. He only wished he could have a relationship like Namjoon and Seokjin but he wasn’t so lucky.
He was still happy that Seokjin managed to find someone like Namjoon for himself. Namjoon was nice and sincere and a bit of a dork at times but the love he had for Seokjin was the most genuine thing ever and though Yoongi had his doubts at first he now trusts Namjoon completely and they have grown closer as friends.
After all, he was the one who took Yoongi to a bar after the disaster so that he could get drunk and take his mind off things and Yoongi drank until he was a crying mess and he made Namjoon’s hoodie very damp.
It’s only halfway through the movie and the kids are asleep already.
Seokjin looks at them with a little sigh and then kisses all three of them on the forehead.
“Namjoon come help me take the kids to the bedroom,”
Namjoon gets up from the sofa and picks up Taehyung who stirs a little but then falls asleep while Seokjin picks up Jimin and Yoongi takes Jungkook into their bedroom and watch as they peacefully sleep before Seokjin switches off the light.
“Hyung it’s late,” he says to Seokjin. “I think I’ll leave”
“Okay,” Seokjin says and then hugs Yoongi. “Take care of yourself”
“Yeah, you too,” Yoongi says.
“Bye hyung,” Namjoon smiles.
Yoongi smiles again before leaving the flat and he walks downstairs before getting into his car. On the way, he remembers that he has to get groceries so he makes a stop and picks up some veggies and meat. Lately, Yoongi has been cooking more at his home.
He pays and gets the groceries to his car before driving back to his home.
It’s a two bedroom flat. The second bedroom which was meant for the kid that Yoongi and Jihyo never had. He gets all his groceries in just a single trip and keeps them all in the refrigerator.
It’s 11 pm and though Yoongi isn’t feeling particularly sleepy he decides to sleep anyway because he is gonna over think if he stays up. He gets into the bed which is a bit too big for a single person and lies down staring at the dark ceiling. He sometimes wishes to move out because the whole house reminds him of Jihyo too much. Everything from the color of the walls and the curtains everything was chosen by her and they serve a reminder to Yoongi every day.
Yoongi sighs to himself as he rolls ever and closes his eyes. As much as he doesn’t want to admit he misses being in love with someone. He just wants someone that can promise him a forever.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
I would like to apologize again for the inaccuracies of any medical terms. I try my best to do the appropriate research but forgive me if it's not always right.
Yoongi walks in the hospital with a cup of coffee in his hand, his hair is a mess because he woke up a bit late and he smiles a little to the nurses before going to his own office. He finally sits down and sips his coffee and then arranges the little things that are a bit disarray and starts working on the reports that he still has pending.
He doesn’t have an appointment with anyone for another hour and it is spent in him working on his reports.
Once done there is a knock on the door of his office and he starts putting his papers away and a tall man appears with a sort of nervous smile on his face. He is wearing a backpack and appears to be very young dressed in a white T-shirt and black skinny jeans.
“Dr. Min,” he asks.
Yoongi just nods and motions him to sit on the chair.
“I am Jung Hoseok,” the man says as he sits down placing his backpack on the other chair. “I was scheduled an appointment for today,”
“Ah yes,” Yoongi says.
“So…,” the man asks. “I have been feeling very awful lately. I went to many doctors and none of them seem to understand what is wrong with me,”
“Can you elaborate your symptoms a little?”
“For starters, I always feel weak and I don’t know why, I feel like I eat a pretty healthy diet and I always workout and then there is the infections I’ve been getting and bleeds also I seem to sweat a lot,” he says.
“And what do the other doctors think?” Yoongi asks.
“They give me the stuff to treat the infections or nosebleeds but nothing seems to work for me,”
“Oh, and what made you think you have to consult an oncologist?” Yoongi asks.
“The last doctor I went to thinks it’s a good idea to be checked just to be on the safe side,”
“I won’t have cancer right?” he asks and he sounds hopeful and Yoongi has heard this tone a lot of times.
“We won’t know for sure until we get you tested but these symptoms can be explained by some other condition,” Yoongi says hoping he doesn’t scare the poor guy.
“Yeah, I guess you are right,” the man says.
“So I have to schedule you for some tests,” Yoongi says. “How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is okay with me,” he says with a smile.
“Okay then,” Yoongi says.
The man smiles again before leaving and Yoongi hopes that at least one doesn’t have it.
The rest of the day is passed in making more appointments. Yoongi has the hardest time with the kids. They are too hopeful, too naïve to even understand what is going on and then he sees their mother clutching their small hands as Yoongi sticks a needle onto them and by now they have stopped crying and just have learned to live with the pain. The kids are so brave and they still have hopes but Yoongi knows the ugly truth that most of them aren’t gonna make it past the age of eight and it breaks his heart when they ambitiously talk about becoming an astronaut or a firefighter and Yoongi just nods and smiles not saying much because he never has been a man of words.
Things that like really do convince him that god doesn’t exist.
It’s 6 pm when he finally gets off of work and today he is a bit happy as one of his patients a 13-year-old girl is going into remission and of course there is always the underlying risk but he has never seen the parents look so alive as they repeatedly thanked Yoongi and presented with him a gift of cuff links and a bouquet.
He has the bouquet tucked under his arm and the cuff links in his bag as he gets into his car to drive back home when he gets a call and it’s, of course, Seokjin.
“Yes hyung,” Yoongi says as he picks up.
“Hello Yoongi, I need a favor,” Seokjin says and he sounds highly stressed.
“Everything okay?” Yoongi asks.
“Yeah, but Namjoon has some kind of party at his boss’ house tonight and he only told me about it an hour ago,”
“I called the babysitter for the kids but she isn’t available and I can’t leave them with the neighbor because she hates them,”
“So I have to babysit them?”
“Can you do that for me?” Seokjin asks. “It would mean a lot”
“Of course hyung,” Yoongi says.
“Thank you Yoongi, I love you,” Seokjin says.
“Bye hyung,” he says as he hangs up and drives to Seokjin’s house instead of his own and when he reaches there he founds a very stressed Seokjin helping Namjoon with his bowtie while the kids seem to have some kind of pillow fight with each other that Seokjin simultaneously tries to break up and it’s complete chaos.
“Come on guys that’s enough,” Yoongi says. “Don’t trouble your dad too much”
Taehyung seems to hear what Yoongi said and stops but Jimin and Jungkook continue with the fight.
“If you guys won’t stop I am not going you buy you all pizza,”
That seems to work well enough as they both stop immediately when Yoongi sees Seokjin come in the living room.
“No one is gonna order pizza,” he says. “I made you guys dinner including you too Yoongi,”
“What?” Yoongi asks.
“You always get takeout and you need to stop doing that,”
“I’ve started cooking now,” Yoongi defends himself.
“Frozen meals don’t count as cooking,” Seokjin says making Yoongi roll his eyes.
Seokjin disappears into the bedroom and reappears a few seconds later with Namjoon.
“We’re leaving now,” Namjoon says to the kids. “Don’t trouble Yoongi hyung too much”
The kids' nod before hugging them and Seokjin kisses their cheeks.
“Thank you so much hyung we really appreciate you looking after the kids,” Namjoon says.
Yoongi just nods.
“Bye,” the kids says as the door closes and then they sit back down on the sofa.
“So?” Jungkook asks. “Are we still ordering pizza?”
“Of course,” Yoongi says and there are loud cheers from all of them as Yoongi dials the number and orders two meat lovers. He knows that a pizza every now and then won’t hurt the kids because the kids seem to eat only healthy all the time as Seokjin takes all of that very seriously. Besides is he even a good uncle if he doesn’t spoil his nephews rotten?
When the pizza arrives Yoongi puts a scary movie for the kids because that is another of the things that Seokjin doesn’t let them do. They all are very fascinated and stay at their spots while munching on the pizza and Yoongi watches the movie but most of the time he is distracted by his thoughts which range from everything to work and Jihyo.
Yoongi thought he always had his life figured out ever since he was a kid. He was gonna study and then become a doctor because his parents said so and that’s what he did. He didn’t have many friends and of course no girlfriend because he was awkward and too busy with studying most of the time. The only exception was Seokjin the only friend Yoongi had.
University happened and Yoongi was still as focused as he always was but he learned to make a few friends and even then he didn’t get drunk at parties or show up late to class late. He did his work on time and when he finally became an oncologist he felt that he could be finally happy.
But now he was almost 31 and he has never been so unhappy with life. He doesn’t feel like he is living, he is just surviving for whose sake he doesn’t know. Nothing makes him happy. He feels empty and hollow.
Selfish that is what he is when he realizes that he has something that all his patients desperately hope for every time they walk into the hospital. A chance to live, and here he is feeling like he doesn’t care about living all that much.
He really doesn’t.
When it’s about 10 pm the movie is over the kids are all sleepy but he makes them all brush their teeth and change their clothes before they all finally fall asleep.
Yoongi just listens to music lying on the sofa as he waits for Seokjin and Namjoon to return. He hopes he can make it home before 1 am because he has an early start tomorrow.
Namjoon and Seokjin show up at about 12:30 am and Seokjin seems a little drunk as he walks in holding Namjoon’s hand and giggling. Yoongi knows this from the various parties he had picked up Seokjin from when they were in University. Seokjin was a real party animal back then.
“He had a bit too much of the champagne,” Namjoon explains and Yoongi chuckles a little as Seokjin unbuttons the top buttons of his white dress shirt.
“Are the kids asleep?” Namjoon asks and Yoongi nods.
“Thanks hyung for taking care of them,” Namjoon smiles.
“It’s no big deal,” Yoongi says. “Anyway I gotta go now, see you guys later”
“Bye Yoongi,” Seokjin mumbles as he clings onto Namjoon.
Yoongi just laughs and leaves the flat before driving back home. By the time he reaches his home he is too tired to do anything but sleep.
He strips off his clothes and climbs into the bed and falls asleep.
The next day Yoongi manages to make it just on time to the office. He blames it on him staying up so late last night.
He already had a call from Seokjin in the morning complaining about his headache and how he had to pack an unhealthy lunch of PB&J sandwiches for the kids because he is too hungover to cook and how he swears that he is never ever gonna drink again.
Yoongi laughs because he has heard the last one way too many time.
Yoongi stops by some doctors who need some consultation before it’s almost lunch time and he sees a tall guy waving at him in an awkward fashion and Yoongi remembers him. He is the patient from yesterday.
“Dr. Min,” he says. “I am sorry I am so late but I am here for the tests”
“Oh that Mr. Jung…,”
“Hoseok,” the man finishes. “So can I still get the tests?”
“Yeah, okay,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok smiles as he follows Yoongi to one of the patient rooms.
“Sit down,” Yoongi says and the man hesitantly sits down.
Yoongi proceeds to sanitize his hand and puts a glove on before he takes a syringe.
“What are you doing?” the man asks.
“Will it hurt too much?” the man asks with a gulp.
“Like a pinch,” Yoongi says. “Not too much”
“I haven’t my blood drawn since I was a kid,”
“That’s okay it won’t hurt too much,”
The man nods biting his lip as Yoongi injects him and Jung Hoseok’s hands ball up as he looks away.
Yoongi draws enough blood.
“There, all done,” Yoongi says.
“That’s it?” Hoseok asks. “I am done with the tests?”
“No, I have to get a bone marrow test,” Yoongi says.
“I’ll stick a needle in your hipbone to get some bone marrow so I can test it,”
“That will tell you if I have cancer?”
The man looks scared as Yoongi tells him to lie on his stomach and lower his pants.
Yoongi sticks the needle and the man groans loudly as Yoongi draws out the marrow.
“Fuck, that hurt,” Jung Hoseok says.
“I am sorry,” Yoongi says as he cleans the spot. “You can pull up your pants now”
The man pulls his pants up.
“I got a nosebleed today too while I was in my studio,” Hoseok says. “And I did some research on the internet and apparently my symptoms account to leukemia,”
“The internet is not the best place to go for your symptoms,” Yoongi says.
“I am a bit scared,” the man says with a humorless chuckle.
“The odds are in your favor for most cases it’s always something else,”
“I hope so, I mean I don’t want to die,” he says.
“None of us do,” Yoongi says quietly as he places the samples on the side table and he removes the gloves.
“Yeah,” the man says. “Anyway thank you Dr. Min”
“The tests will be out tomorrow”
“Okay,” Jung Hoseok says as he walks out of the patient room.
Yoongi too leaves the patient room and then goes to the lab room to leave the samples with them for the testing.
After a days’ work, he is out of the hospital by 6:30 pm and he drives by the grocery store first to grab some beer and other things that he has run out off.
Yoongi is walking through the aisles when he bumps into the last person he expects to.
It’s Jihyo and she looks different. Her once long black hair only reaches her shoulder as she is wearing a white top and floral skirt and she looks nothing like the Jihyo that Yoongi always knew. But she is still just as beautiful.
They stare at each other and Yoongi knows she must think that he doesn’t look like he used to and that she must be judging him because she knows that he still hasn’t moved on.
Jihyo is the one who breaks the silence.
“Yoongi,” she says.
She looks at him and then her face breaks into a half smile as Yoongi sees her hand holding a man’s arm who is standing right beside her and that is when Yoongi notices that she is with her new boyfriend.
“Sungjae, this is my ex-husband Yoongi,” she says.
Yoongi looks at Sungjae and he feels that they are polar opposites. Sungjae is tall and has tan skin contrasting to Yoongi’s pale one. He is ripped and looks like he is a model of some sort.
“Hi,” Yoongi says and he is being civil because Sungjae isn’t the guy he had caught Jihyo with.
“Hey,” Sungjae and he sort of smiles at Yoongi.
“Picking up some groceries?” Jihyo asks as she eyes his trolley which is mostly filled with beer right now.
“Uh…oh yeah,” Yoongi says scratching his head.
Jihyo just nods.
“So…how are you?” Yoongi asks and he doesn’t know why he asks her that because he knows she is doing great and she seems so happy.
“I’m doing good,” she says. “You?”
“Fine,” Yoongi says and he knows how obvious it that Yoongi is anything but fine.
“How’s Seokjin doing?” she asks making some attempt into the conversation.
“He is good and so are Namjoon and the kids,”
“Uh okay,” she says and they are left in some awkward silence.
“Jihyo, I think we are getting a bit late now,” her boyfriend says.
“Um yeah,” she whispers. “See you Yoongi”
Yoongi just nods and they walk by and he gets a whiff of Jihyo’s perfume as she walks by and it’s the same one that she always wore and Yoongi is somehow glad that at least something about her didn’t change.
He is mostly done with his shopping and after that little encounter with Jihyo he doesn’t want to stay in the store anymore and heads straight to the counter while the employee scans her items wordlessly before packing them up and smiles at him but it’s hardly even a smile Yoongi thinks as she immediately starts scanning the items of the next customer in line. Yoongi feels sorry but he walks off with his two bags of groceries and then puts them in the backseat before driving home.
Today he makes himself fried rice while he dances to the tune of a song and Yoongi feels like some days are definitely better than the others. Some not so much.
He eats his dinner while watching T.V. It’s a reality show and Yoongi never thought he would be the one to like those shows but he loves them and they are like a secret guilty pleasure.
Seokjin calls yet again and pretends like its only because he is bored because Namjoon and the kids are out for their stroll after dinner but Yoongi knows it's because his best friend wants to check up if everything is all right with him. Yoongi feels lucky to have Seokjin worry so much about him but he wishes he could tell Seokjin that even though he is sad he won’t do something stupid to hurt himself.
“Today Tae told me has a crush on a girl in his class?” Seokjin says. “Do you believe that?”
“Tae has a crush?” Yoongi asks mildly surprised.
“Yes, he says that everyone likes her and that he has no chance with her but she seems to always Taehyung for pencils and so he thinks that he might have a chance”
He hears Seokjin sigh.
“They grow up so fast, don’t they?”
“Yeah, they do,” Yoongi says.
He hears a loud screech from the other line and hears Seokjin sighing even more.
“Guess the brats are back,” Seokjin says. “There goes my moment of peace”
Yoongi laughs again.
“I guess I’ll talk to you later then,” Yoongi sighs.
“Yeah, bye, good night,”
“’Night,” Yoongi says hanging up.
Yoongi keeps the phone back on the table. He almost told Seokjin he bumped into Jihyo today but he decided against it because he didn’t need Seokjin psychoanalyzing everything he had said and what Jihyo had said back and then it would end with Seokjin calling her a bitch.
It happened every time.
Yoongi stands up yawning as he picks up the plates and dumps them into the sink before washing them. He loathed doing the dishes most out of all the chores.
Once done he left them to dry and switched off the TV before going to sleep and hopes the next day will be better.
But it doesn’t. The rest of the week passes by just like that except a young mumbling nurse makes his way to him and talks to him and then not so subtly asks him if he was free for the dinner on the weekend and Yoongi declines her offer politely which may seem weird because she is pretty and nice and everything guys look for in their girls but not Yoongi. Yoongi would rather wallow in sadness than make effort to get with any other girl. He was done with all that.
“You’re an idiot you know,” Seokjin said to him the next day they met during Yoongi’s lunch at a local café near the hospital.
Yoongi finished the last sip of his malt milkshake.
“As if I didn’t hear that from you already,”
“I will continue to call that because you are one,”
“Hyung,” Yoongi said wiping his face with a tissue. “I genuinely don’t wanna have a relationship”
“Who said you have to marry the first girl you go on a date with?” Seokjin argues. “The least you could do is go out on a date every now and then”
“No,” Yoongi said in a tone which meant that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore so Seokjin just dropped it.
Today is Saturday and Yoongi is glad that the week is finally ending, Weekends for Yoongi don’t mean anything special except for Seokjin’s great cooking and that he finally gets to sleep till noon.
He checks his schedule and he as an appointment with Jung Hoseok. Yoongi remembers the guy vaguely and he remembers that he has to pick up his results from the lab which he does and heads to his office so that he knows what he has to tell the guy.
Yoongi sits down and then reads through the results before he sighs a little. So, today is gonna be one of those days.
He keeps the envelope back in the drawer and then tries to get back to his work but in the back of his mind he keeps thinking about Jung Hoseok and how he would react to the news and he feels the familiar sense of sorrow by the fact that guy looked very young and he can’t begin to imagine how would he react.
Yoongi keeps looking at the clock until it’s finally 3 pm but there is no sign of him and maybe he is always late Yoongi thinks. Jung Hoseok finally shows up at 3:30 pm and he is dressed in a black tank top and white shorts and this is not the kind of attire he usually sees in people coming to the hospital.
“Hi uh I am very sorry Dr. Min,” he manages to pant out.
“It’s fine,” Yoongi says. “Sit down”
Jung Hoseok nods and sits keeping down his backpack and then he stares at Yoongi so Yoongi takes out the results and then slides them over to him silently. The man takes them and takes out the actual results and reads them before looking over at Yoongi.
“I don’t get it…,”
“You have cancer,” Yoongi says all in one go. There he said it.
He doesn’t really hear any voice from Jung Hoseok and he expects him to cry but nothing until he repeats what Yoongi just said in a calm cool voice.
“I have cancer,” he says and Yoongi doesn’t know if he is saying out loud or asking him a question but Yoongi nods.
“Leukemia,” Yoongi says. “It’s a cancer of blood”
“There is an abnormality of a lack of blood cells that we noticed,”
“Oh,” he says and his voice sounds emotionless.
“Acute myelogenous leukemia (AML),” Yoongi says and by now Jung Hoseok isn’t even listening as he stares off out of the window and then Yoongi quiets down even though he has much more things to explain he gives the other man some time to process what has just happened.
He doesn’t know Jung Hoseok and maybe he has a wedding next week and all of this has suddenly come crashing down.
Yoongi instead just looks at the hourglass on his table that is slowly trickling sand and he doesn’t know how much time has passed until he finally sees the other man moving as he sits up straighter in his chair and then looks at Yoongi.
“Dr.,” he says.”Will I die?”
Yoongi won’t sugarcoat it, that is just not him.
“There is a chance you might,”
“Oh okay,” the man says and he sounds so calm that Yoongi expects a breakdown but it doesn’t happen. He talks as if they are discussing fever and not cancer”
“But there are treatments,” Yoongi says. “Chemotherapy, radiation”
“Are you ready to discuss your options?”
“Dr…I not right now I have got to get back to something,” he says. “Can I come back tomorrow?”
“Of course you can,”
“Uh well I think I should get going then,” he says as he stands up and almost falls over but then grips the table as soon as Yoongi gets up to help him.
“It’s fine doctor,” he says and he smiles. “I am fine”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything as the man wears his backpack and then smooths out his hair.
“Thank you Dr.,” he says and then he leaves bowing before Yoongi hears the light slam of the door and the man is gone just like that. Yoongi sits back and then thinks that this weirdest encounter he has ever had with any of his patients.
There is always some sort of reaction.
Hysterical crying to quite sobs, anger and then the shock but Jung Hoseok showed none of these instead he walked off with a small smile on his face and even though Yoongi tries not to think about it for the rest of the day his face is all that plagues Yoongi’s mind even at Seokjin’s house as he mindlessly chews through the sticky rice that Seokjin made.
“You okay hyung?” Namjoon asks and Yoongi just nods not saying anything.
The kids talk to Yoongi and he hears a lot about Tae’s new crush. Her name is Sooyoung and she has a very pretty smile and that even though she chews on the end of Taehyung’s pencils he doesn’t mind at all and Yoongi just smiles feeling guilty that he is only half listening.
He decides to leave when the kids all fall asleep and Seokjin packs him his favorite peanut butter chocolate chip cookies (vegan because Seokjin doesn’t want the extra calories) in a large Tupperware container and then hugs him and the mumbles a love you in his ear.
Yoongi says love you back and then drives to his home where he firstly devours three of the cookies and then as he lies down to sleep he still has the man named Jung Hoseok on his mind and it is strange because he has never found a patient as intriguing.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Yoongi manages to make it on time today and the first person that he sees is an anxious Jung Hoseok sitting in the waiting area and he jumps out of his seat as soon as he sees him.
“Dr. Min,” he says. “I am…I am ready”
“Uh um all right,” Yoongi says. “Give me a minute”
He just nods and Yoongi goes inside placing his bag and clears out his desk before he opens the door so that Jung Hoseok can come in.
Today, he is dressed in a long-sleeved black shirt and tight ripped jeans and his backpack that he seems to be clutching close to his chest as he sits down.
“So, I have leukemia,” he begins in a very casual tone.
“Yes, acute myelogenous leukemia,” Yoongi completes.
“Oh, that sounds risky,” Jung Hoseok says with a small chuckle surprising Yoongi who didn’t expect to anyone seem so relaxed discussing their disease.
“Well, we have to discuss treatment,” Yoongi says.
“Uh, yeah that,” Hoseok says. “What do you say?”
“Well, you have the option of chemotherapy and radiation,” Yoongi says as he opens his desk and looks for a paper. He finds it and hands it to Jung Hoseok. “Also the hospital is running a clinical trial on a drug; you can be a part of that”
“Not that one,” Hoseok says.
“All right with your subtype of AML, I think you would have to go with the radiation therapy,” Yoongi says.
“How does that work?”
“It basically using radiation to kill cancer cells,”
“Oh,” Jung Hoseok says. “And when should I start the treatment?”
“As soon as possible, I think,” Yoongi says.
“Well I have to accompany my crew to a show today,” Jung Hoseok says. “So can we start after a day?”
“My dance crew, I run a dance studio,”
“Oh, that’s no problem then,” Yoongi says.
“Thank you Dr. Min,” he says as he stands up. “I’ll see you later”
Yoongi just nods as the man leaves the room leaving behind a very puzzled Yoongi. He doesn’t know if it is an act or is the other man really that nonchalant about the prospect of dying. Either way Yoongi seems confused by his patient as he lurks around his mind the rest of the day until it is the end of the day and Yoongi is leaving when he feels a hand on his shoulder tightening their grip.
Yoongi looks up to see a smiling Dr. Jackson Wang.
“Min, you look in a hurry,”
“I’m not,” Yoongi says loosening from the other’s grip.
“End of shift?” Jackson asks.
“Why don’t you stick around for a bit?” Jackson asks. “I’ve got clinic duty for about half an hour and then we can go have some drinks”
“Don’t say no,” Jackson says. “It’s been too long since we sat down and talked. I miss you man as gay as it sounds”
“All right fine,” Yoongi sighs.
“That’s better,” Jackson says. “I’ll be right back though”
Yoongi nods as he just sits in the waiting room too on his phone until Jackson finally shows up only to be stopped by one of the nurses and they talk to each other in hushed voices for a good ten minutes until Jackson leaves winking at her and Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“So is that your new interest?” Yoongi questions.
“She’s cute,” Jackson says.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything as they get in his car and starts driving while Jackson changes radio stations every five seconds before turning it off completely.
“All they play is shit lately,” he says.
“Yeah,” Yoongi says as he continues to drive and they soon reach the bar that they usually hang out and since it’s a weekday Yoongi manages to find a parking spot.
“I am not gonna drink a lot, I still have to get home,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jackson says as they enter the bar.
They end up sitting on one of the far corners of the bar and Jackson skims the menu while Yoongi looks around to see men and women who seem to be in their early twenties at the most. It makes him feel self-conscious.
Jackson orders some kind of weird cocktail and while they wait for it Jackson leans in whispering.
“See the chick in the back,” he says.
Yoongi cranes his neck and sees a woman dressed in a purple mini dress sucking on a straw. She looks 25 at the most and as their eyes meet she looks away.
“She has been staring at you for the past 15 minutes,”
“Oh,” Yoongi says.
“Go make a move,”
“I don’t want to,”
“Min, come on, opportunities like this don’t really show up,” Jackson says.
“Well, I would like to let the opportunity go away,”
Jackson rolls his eyes as the waiter brings them the drink.
“Excuse me,” Jackson says to the waiter. “He would like to buy a martini for the lady over there”
Jackson points at the purple lady and the waiter just nods leaving.
“Jackson what the fuck,”
“You are getting laid tonight,” Jackson says.
Yoongi sighs as he sips his drink dreading the conversation he would have to have with the lady. He would, of course, find some way and get out of it. He had to.
“Holy shit, she is coming here,” Jackson says. “Min, this is your moment”
“I hate you,” Yoongi mouths at Jackson as the woman approaches them smiling.
“Hey,” she says looking at Yoongi.
“Hi,” Yoongi says.
“Do you mind?” she asks Yoongi to let her sit and Yoongi simply scoots over while Jackson looks smug that his plan seems to be working.
Of course, Yoongi is supposed to say something to her, start the conversation and talk about her, make her giggle while she gets drunk so he could take her back to his flat and the fuck her brains out.
No, of course not, not in Yoongi’s life at least as he looks at his watch with a small frown on his face.
“I…I would love to talk to you,” he says. “But I gotta pick up the kids”
“Kids?” she asks with a frown.
“Uh yeah, would you excuse me?”
She stands up letting Yoongi go who grabs his coat and then leans down to whisper into Jackson’s ear.
“She’s all yours,”
Yoongi leaves the suffocating bar. He loves drinking but more in the privacy of his home where he lets a few tears spill. He gets into his car and drives back home where he spends the rest of the evening cooking an elaborate recipe he found online just because it kills time and by the end of the night he is already through two bottles of beer but at least he sleeps better than most nights.
The next day Yoongi is visibly hungover as he walks with his head hung low and he happens to bump into Jackson.
“Min, you look like shit,”
Jackson is glowing.
“You seem happy,” Yoongi says as he grabs his second cup of coffee in the morning.
“Let’s just say, you missed out,” Jackson smirks and Yoongi simply rolls his eyes sipping on the coffee.
“See you later Wang,”
Yoongi goes to his office and just as he takes a seat there is a knock on the door and Jung Hoseok is standing there.
“Mr. Jung come in,” Yoongi says.
He nods as he sits down on the chair while Yoongi does the same. For the first time, Yoongi wonders why does the man always show up alone. It wasn’t unusual for patients to show up alone for checkups but for treatments, there is always someone for support.
“Yes, we have to start it from today,” Yoongi says as he takes out Jung Hoseok’s file. “Come on follow me”
Yoongi takes him to the radiology and while they are in the elevator Jung Hoseok fiddles with his hands staring upwards at the ceiling.
When they arrive at the radiology Yoongi calls in a nurse who assists Jung Hoseok to get in for the checkup while Yoongi retreats to the small room with the computer.
“I want you to lie completely still,” he says in the mike.
“You don’t have any metal on, do you?”
“Uh no,” Yoongi hears his echoed voice.
“All right then,” Yoongi says as the scanning begins and Yoongi looks for the area of the tumor growth.
When the scan is done Yoongi gets up and helps Jung Hoseok out of the machine who seems to be relived as he stands up and stumbles down but Yoongi catches him before he can fall.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh yeah I yes I’m fine,” Hoseok mumbles incoherently.
Hoseok nods vigorously.
“You should ask someone to come with you…just in case…,”
“I told you,” Jung Hoseok cuts off sounding annoyed. “I am totally fine”
“All right,” Yoongi answers alarmed.
“I um I am sorry,” Jung Hoseok says.
Yoongi just nods as they leave the radiology and head straight back to Yoongi’s office and this time the elevator has people in it so it’s not that awkward. Once they get to his office Yoongi shuts the door and sticks the scan on the little glass above his seat.
“This right here,” he says. “Just around your spinal cord,”
“Oh, so the radiation will kill it,” Hoseok asks.
“That’s what we hope for,”
“There’s no guarantee?”
“Uh yeah, I get it,” he says. “So when do we start?”
“We have to work out a schedule for you,” Yoongi says. “And you would have to bring your insurance and everything,”
“You can come tomorrow so we can make time for your sessions,”
‘Sure,” Jung Hoseok says with a small flicker of a smile on his face.
Yoongi presses his lips in a small polite smile as well as Jung Hoseok gets up ready to leave.
“Thank you, Dr. Min,”
Yoongi just nods before he sits down at the desk as he sighs because sometimes he gets tired of telling people that they are gonna die. He doesn’t want to give them false hope but he does want them to live. To see their eyes full of life again and even though there isn’t much he can do about it the thought is always lurking in the back of his mind.
He has seen countless other people like Jung Hoseok.
He only hopes that Jung Hoseok doesn’t meet the same fate.
The next day Jung Hoseok is back at the office and as soon as he sees Yoongi he smiles and Yoongi smiles back because he really likes how positive Jung Hoseok appears to be. Most people lose all hope in their lives when they get the news that they have cancer, understandably so but at least not Jung Hoseok.
“I have all my papers with me,”
“All right,” Yoongi says. “We have your schedule fixed up”
“It’s gonna be every day for five times a week in the evening,”
“Okay,” Hoseok says. “When do I start?”
“You can start on the coming Monday if you wish,”
“Okay then,” Hoseok says as he looks over at Yoongi’s desk and picks out a yellow card.
“What’s this?” he asks.
“Cancer support group,”
“How does that work?” Hoseok asks.
“Cancer patients come together discuss their problems, lives, thoughts dreams and everything else,” Yoongi says. “So they don’t feel alone knowing that someone shares their feelings”
“Oh,” Hoseok says turning the car in his hands. “Um, can I come?”
“Sure, if you want to,” Yoongi says.
“I feel like I really need to talk to someone,” Hoseok says.
“The support group is a great place to express your thoughts,” Yoongi says.
“It’s on every Sunday evening,”
“Oh, okay,” Hoseok says as he pockets the card. “I’ll be there”
Yoongi nods as Jung Hoseok leaves with one last smile and he leaves.
The rest of the day passes by and when Yoongi’s shift ends he leaves and finds Jackson talking to the cute nurse and he winks when Yoongi passes by and Yoongi snorts a little as he heads outside to his car.
Since its Saturday he heads straight to Seokjin’s house and finds Seokjin prepping for dinner and Namjoon hasn’t returned from work yet while the kids are circling around Yoongi as he helps Seokjin make the dinner.
“So how was your week?” Seokjin asks.
“It was pretty okay,” Yoongi answers.
Yoongi expects Seokjin questioning him but just then Namjoon comes back from work and a smile spreads on Seokjin’s face.
Namjoon comes in closer and kisses Seokjin gently before hugging the kids and Yoongi smiles to himself suddenly feeling that he is interrupting a very private moment.
Once Namjoon leaves to change Seokjin starts to set up the table and the kids help him and once they are done Namjoon comes back and they have dinner while Namjoon narrates an incident at work which has Seokjin laughing hard.
When they are done with the dinner Yoongi gets ready to leave but not before Seokjin corners him.
“You look a bit off Yoongi,” Seokjin says. “Is everything okay?”
It is really a difficult question and Yoongi doesn’t know how to answer it but he smiles.
“I am fine hyung, don’t worry,” he says.
Seokjin bites his lips before hugging him tightly.
“You’ll always have me worrying for you, you idiot,” he says.
Yoongi just laughs as he says his goodbye to Namjoon and the kids and then hugs Seokjin again before he finally leaves and the smile fades.
Some days are definitely better than the others but today isn’t one of them.
Yoongi is woken up by the phone ringing and he wonders who on earth is calling him on a Sunday morning? It’s 1 pm yes but that’s morning for Yoongi.
He picks up and yawns.
“Dr. Min,” he hears a female voice.
“I’m Dr. Kim,” she says. “I am actually the doctor who runs the cancer support group”
“Well, I want to ask you a favor,” she says. “I have an important issue coming up for today and I want someone to take over the session for me but no one seems to be free and I really don’t wanna cancel”
Yoongi thinks about it, yes it could potentially ruin his only day off which he reserves for eating unhealthy takeout and watching TV but it’s just for one day he thinks so he lets out an inaudible sigh.
“Okay, I can do it,”
“Good, thank you Dr. Min,” she says. “I am very grateful”
“It’s no problem,” Yoongi says as he hangs up and stretches his arms. He might as well as a shower if he has to leave the comfort of his house.
After a lunch of sandwiches, he leaves the hospital and reaches there at 4:45 even though the support group is supposed to start at 5 and he finds one person sitting there. It’s a teenage girl wearing a beanie looking off into the far distance she doesn’t acknowledge Yoongi in any way as he sits on the center chair.
Soon people start coming in and they all look at Yoongi with confused looks but stay silent until it’s 5 and he sees the place is mostly filled so he clears his throat.
“I am filling in for Dr. Kim today,” he says.
“Where’s Dr. Kim?” a woman asks.
“She had something important to look after, I believe,” Yoongi answers.
“Oh,” the woman says.
Just then the door opens again and Jung Hoseok is standing looking out of place in his tank top and shorts and his backpack that hangs from his shoulders.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says as he pulls an extra plastic chair and sits down and all the eyes are on him in a very curious way.
Yoongi clears his throat again to get their attention and he succeeds.
“So can we begin,” he says.
“Wait,” a boy interrupts him. “There is no introduction”
“Introduction?” Yoongi asks.
“Every time someone new joins the group we have them introduce themselves,”
“Oh, well then go ahead Mr. Jung,”
Jung Hoseok stands up keeping his backpack down.
“I am Jung Hoseok, 29 years old. I am a dancer by profession and I uh I own a small dance studio and I was diagnosed with leukemia about a week ago,” he says with a dark little chuckle.
“What are your dreams?” the teenage girl with the beanie asks. “Dr. Kim always asks to tell our dreams,”
“I have a lot of them,” he says. “I wanna see places, try things that I’ve never done before”
“Of course time is ticking,” he says and Yoongi sees a few people shift uncomfortably in their seats. “But I would like to make them true”
“Dr. Kim always says that believing in your dreams is a healthy thing to do,” a little boy who looks about 12 says. “You shouldn’t give up on them”
“I won’t,” Jung Hoseok says.
“You can sit down now Mr. Jung,”
Jung Hoseok nods as he sits down.
“Dr. Kim,” Yoongi says “Gave me a topic to discuss about. It’s about the time you felt utterly helpless in life and how you got out of this phase. Your struggles and your advice to anyone else who is in the same situation, anyone that would like to volunteer”
Everyone looks at each other but no one seems to be ready to share before a hesitant hand is in the air. It’s the last person Yoongi expects.
“Mr. Jung,” he says. “You can begin”
He nods as he looks at his palms.
“2 years ago,” he says. “Something bad happened. It was unexpected, the death of my parents”
Jung Hoseok continues.
“One day they are fine and we talked about how my first day at elementary school at dinner and the next day I hear they had an accident and they are gone just like that. I would be lying if it wasn’t hard to lose both of my parents at the same time. I couldn’t grasp it. My only family was no more. I was orphaned and all alone in this world. I had absolutely no one for me. The several months after my parents’ deaths were the worst in my life. I had lost all hope and support in my life and I fell into depression”
He takes a deep breath.
“But I decided I wanted to change and that I wanted to live again because I knew that is what my parents would want. I did not stop being sad all at once. It happened over the time as I started to treasure them more for the happy memories instead of the pain that their death had caused me and I started living little by little. And six months ago I finally made the move to Seoul. It has been hard let me tell you and there is not a day that goes by when I don’t miss them but I’ve learned to cope with it and it works…well most of the time”
He slowly wipes the corner of his eyes and Yoongi feels a pang in his heart.
“That was very brave of you to share,” Yoongi finally says as Jung Hoseok just nods.
He sees some of them stand up and going over and hug him or just pat his back and once they are all back to their seats a middle-aged man slowly raises his hand and begins narrating about the time he fell into a dark place with depression and how he came out of it and slowly and steadily a lot of them open up with the varying stories and there are tears, lots of them but there is also comforting words and hugs to offer and Yoongi smiles to a little himself seeing how these people have each other for support.
“Dr. Min,” the beanie wearing teenage girl says. “Dr. Kim would usually share her life experiences with us as well. Would you mind?”
Yoongi is a very secretive person. He rarely opens up and he would usually say no to any situation that required him expressing his deepest feelings to a bunch of strangers but he realizes the support group is different. The people here get naked in a metaphorical way and talk about things that they never would in another setting so he just nods.
It’s not as devastating as the others but it was the darkest moment in his life he thinks as he begins.
“My wife cheated on me. My wife whom I had been married to for 7 years cheated on me. The only woman I had ever loved in my life didn’t take a second to break my heart. Last year around summer time that happened and it broke me to pieces because I never expected her to do that to me. We got divorced and she moved on but I couldn’t because she was my soulmate and we were meant to be together but I guess I was wrong,” he says. “It was a dark time because I thought it was my fault and that I wasn’t good enough and that I never loved her like I should have but it wasn’t me, she just wasn’t in love with me anymore she said to me. We were young when we got married and maybe it was all butterflies and they eventually died down leaving us to nothing”
Yoongi finishes and he is positive that he has never been this open to a bunch of complete strangers ever before that he feels naked and then the middle aged woman stands up and gives him a hug and just like that everyone else offers their support to him in their way and when they are all done Yoongi wants to cry but he doesn’t as he looks at his watch. It’s 7:30 already and they were supposed to end the session a half an hour ago but it dragged.
“I think that is quite enough for today,” Yoongi says. “Thank you all for coming today. I hope you have a good day and a wonderful week”
Slowly the people start leaving and so does Yoongi and he bumps into Jung Hoseok who smiles at him.
“I didn’t know you were in charge of the support group too,”
“I was just a replacement for today Mr. Jung,”
“You can just call me Hoseok you know,” he says. “I don’t mind”
“See you on Monday Dr. Min,”
Yoongi nods as he watches Jung Hoseok walk away and he looks until the other man is out of vision before he too walks to his car and gets into his car and today he feels lighter as if he just dropped something off of his shoulder.
H e feels light.
Maybe it’s talking he thinks. He hasn’t told many people about the whole fiasco with his wife. To Seokjin it was just through a lot of ugly tears and everyone else knew but they didn’t bring it up so Yoongi never had to talk about it and now that he did he feels better than he has ever before.
The support group wasn’t nearly anywhere as disastrous as he thought it’d be.
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
I am very sorry for such a long delay in updating.
Yoongi is having a dream.
He is all happy, smiling in a field of lilies and his hands are linked with someone else. He turns around to look at the person but he sees nothing. The hand isn’t there anymore and that moment Yoongi wakes up.
He sits up and grabs his phone. It’s only 7 am and he could go back to sleep but that would mean he would have to rush later so he forces himself out of his bed and heads straight to the shower and lathers on body wash before standing under the warm water his eyes closed already feeling relaxed. Once he is done he steps out and puts on his clothes before blow drying his hair.
He goes to the kitchen practically starving and ends up making eggs and toast one of the few things that he can cook quite well.
He washes it down with a glass of orange juice before heading out to work. Today, he makes it perfectly on time and when he reaches his office he finds Jung Hoseok asleep on the chair outside.
It’s the first day of his treatment.
Yoongi nudges the man a little.
Hoseok wakes up with a stir and looks at Yoongi.
“Sorry,” he says. “I had a late night at the studio”
“The kids have a big competition coming up,” he explains.
“You should rest yourself you know especially with the…,”
“Cancer,” I know Hoseok sighs. “But we have been working really hard on this and I couldn’t even go with them today”
“It’s okay,” Yoongi reassures him. “I am sure they will win”
“Yes, they will,” Hoseok answers with a smile.
“All right then,” Yoongi says. “We should get going”
Hoseok nods standing up following Yoongi to the radiology.
The nurse helps Hoseok on the bed and Yoongi is standing when Hoseok suddenly grabs his hands.
“I…I looked it up on the internet but I just wanna make sure…this doesn’t hurt right?”
Yoongi shakes his head no.
“O…okay,” Hoseok swallows.
Yoongi gives him a smile before starting the treatment and he sees the fear on Hoseok’s face. He can’t help but feel sorry for the name.
It’s not a long process. 15 minutes and they are done.
Yoongi helps Hoseok get back on his feet who looks visibly shaken. Yoongi helps him out of the room and then makes him sit on the chair.
“Are you feeling any kind of discomfort?”
“No, I am uh okay,”
“Why don’t you sit down for a second?”
Hoseok nods sitting down and after a few minutes before he seems to have recovered.
Just then his phone beeps and Hoseok picks up and a grin spreads on his face.
“Oh my god,” he says loudly. “First place really, I am so proud of you guys and yes I am coming there soon to celebrate”
He hangs up still grinning.
“They won,” he tells Yoongi. “I am so proud”
“That’s pretty good all credit to you,” Yoongi says.
“No, that would be selfish, the kids work so hard,” he says. “I am really happy for them these competitions are a big deal”
“Thank you Dr,” Hoseok says standing up. “I should get going now the kids would be waiting for me to celebrate”
“All right have fun,” Yoongi smiles. “And same time tomorrow,”
“Sure doctor,” Hoseok says smiling as he walks and leaves and Yoongi watches him disappear before he goes back to his office.
The day is as normal as it could be, him dealing with patients and more patients until it’s time to leave and even though Jackson had told him that he was supposed to wait for him so that they could go bowling together along with Byun one of the pediatricians but by the looks of it Wang was too busy flirting with the new nurse so Yoongi just left.
He could have gone back home but he really did not want to spend all the evening alone for some reason so he drove to Seokjin’s house instead where he knew he was always welcome and of course Seokjin was more than joyous to see him wearing a flour stained apron.
“Are you always cooking?” Yoongi asks as he removes his coat and hangs it up.
“No, idiot, this is baking,” Seokjin says.
“Actually,” Seokjin says. “I was thinking about opening my own bakery”
“Bakery, whoa,” Yoongi says.
“What? I don’t bake well enough,” Seokjin asks.
“Of course not,” Yoongi says. “I just didn’t visualize you opening a bakery after studying business for 4 years at University”
“You know just how much I hated business,” Seokjin says. “I barely even passed and it was all for dad’s sake because I wanted me to be his perfect son”
“I became a disappointment for him.” Seokjin sighs.
“Come on now,” Yoongi says. “You know your dad has sort of accepted you guys”
“Well, yeah I mean he sends cards and money to the kids on their birthdays and festivals and that is honestly the only way he ever shows his affection”
“See it’s not that bad”
“Yeah, I guess,” Seokjin says with a sad smile. “Anyway, since you are here can you do me a favor?”
“Can you pick Jimin from his dance class, Taehyung from his taekwondo class and Jungkook from his swimming class?”
“Only if I get some of those cookies,” Yoongi says.
“Fine,” Seokjin says. “I’ll give you the addresses and don’t buy them any junk food okay”
“Yes, sir,” Yoongi mock salutes.
Yoongi heads down and gets in the car to pick up the kids. First, it’s Jungkook who is overjoyed to see it’s Yoongi who is picking him up and demands for lamb skewers and Yoongi manages to calm him down and wait for the others. Next Yoongi picks Taehyung from his taekwondo class who immediately runs to Yoongi hugging him as if he hadn’t seen Yoongi just 2 days ago. Lastly, Yoongi drives to Jimin’s dance class.
Jimin waves grinning at Yoongi and his brother when Yoongi spots a familiar face in the crowd, it’s Jung Hoseok. He is also looking at Yoongi now and his face breaks into a smile.
“Dr. Min,” he says. “What brings you here?”
“Wait,” Jimin says to Hoseok. “You know Yoongi hyung”
“Yeah, he is my doctor,”
“That’s awesome,” Jimin says happily. “I always wanted you to meet my dance teacher hyung he is so cool”
“Not as cool as you,” Hoseok says.
Jimin seems to be very happy at what Hoseok said hiding his smile.
“Well, I am glad we already know each other,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, maybe you can learn some dance from Hoseok hyung,” Jimin says.
“Are you up for some dancing Dr. Min?” Hoseok asks jokingly.
“I suppose you are an amazing dancer but I have to decline,” Yoongi says.
“That’s a shame,” Hoseok says. “But if you change your mind just know that I am here”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Yoongi smiles.
Hoseok grins as he ruffles Jimin hair.
“See you tomorrow then buddy,”
“Yeah,” Jimin nods excitedly.
“Come on then let’s get home,” Yoongi says. “Dad’s waiting for you”
Jimin nods as he starts walking to the car while waving furiously at Hoseok before he gets into the car and Hoseok gives a final small wave to Yoongi who waves back too before getting into the car.
“You seem to like your teacher a lot huh Jimin,”
“Yes,” Jimin says. “He is so cool”
“I guess so,”
“But why did he come to you, is he sick?”
Yoongi clears his throat.
“Uh he had a bit of a cold so I treated it,”
“You treat colds too,” Jimin asks curiously.
“Yoongi hyung, I am hungry for lamb skewers,” Jungkook whines.
“All right kiddo, we will be stopping for some,” Yoongi says.
“I want hot dogs,” Taehyung said excitedly.
“And ice cream for me,” Jimin says.
“Fine, we are gonna eat all of this,” Yoongi sighs and there are loud cheers in the car.
“Thanks, Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung says. “We love you”
“I love you guys too,” Yoongi says.
They stop for each of the kids’ whims and come back home again.
“What took you this long?” Seokjin asks.
“Traffic,” Yoongi lies winking at the kids.
“Ugh, the only reason I despise driving is the vehicles on the roads, so annoying,” Seokjin says.
“Yeah hyung you are right,” Yoongi says as he sits on the sofa. “Where’s Namjoon though?”
“He must be stuck in traffic too,” Seokjin says. “Anyway, will you be staying for dinner?”
“Of course and where are my cookies?” Yoongi asks.
“I am getting them,” Seokjin says getting up.
Seokjin returns with the cookies and Yoongi takes a bite closing his eyes savoring the heavenly taste.
“Hey dad, I almost forgot to tell you Yoongi hyung knows my dance teacher really well,” Jimin says.
“You know Mr. Jung?” Seokjin asks.
“He does, apparently he is hyung’s patient,”
“He is your patient?” Seokjin asks shocked.
“Um,” Yoongi trails off sure that his patient wouldn’t appreciate him telling any of his student’s parents about his cancer. So Yoongi decides to stay quiet.
“Uh yeah, he came around for some tests in the clinic,”
“Oh,” Seokjin seems convinced.
Yoongi eats another of the cookies wondering if he did the right thing by not telling Seokjin.
The doorbell rings and Jungkook rushes to open the door and Yoongi sees Namjoon grinning and Jungkook immediately hugs him.
“Hey kid,” Namjoon says ruffling his hair.
He walks over to Seokjin and pecks his lips and says hi to Yoongi but soon he is warped up in the kids telling him that he needs to take them to teach them how to pitch so Namjoon changes and they all leave.
“If I wasn’t so terrible at sports, I could teach them how to pitch,” Seokjin says.
“We were both so terrible at sports,”
“True,” Seokjin says. “Would you mind chopping these peppers for me?”
Yoongi takes the peppers and begins cutting them while Seokjin talks about his plans for his bakery. Yoongi listens attentively providing suggestions of his own.
“Oh, did you tell Namjoon about your plans?” Yoongi asks.
“He is actually the one who suggested it,” Seokjin says. “I made a pie and he jokingly said I should open a bakery”
“The next day I told him I am planning to open a bakery and he was quite shocked but supportive,”
Yoongi hands Seokjin the cut bell peppers.
“Can you also chop the tofu?”
“Fine,” Yoongi sighs as he begins chopping the tofu.
“How are things going with you huh?” Seokjin asks.
“Fine,” Yoongi says not knowing how else to describe his unexciting life.
“What did you do on Sunday?”
“I went to a cancer support group in the hospital,”
“Since when did you start working on Sundays?”
“I volunteered for that day,” Yoongi answers.
“What was it like?” Seokjin asks as he stirs the vegetables in the pan.
“It was actually a great experience,” Yoongi says. “They were supposed to share about the worst experience of life and how they got out of it”
“The stories Seokjin they were so emotional,”
“Did you share something?” Seokjin says.
“I did, actually,” Yoongi says as he hands Seokjin the tofu.
“What?” Seokjin says surprised. “I mean what did you share about?”
“Jihyo cheating on me,”
“You talked about it to a bunch of people?” Seokjin asks.
“Shocking, I know,”
Seokjin keeps the ladle down and hugs Yoongi,
“I am proud of you,”
“Will you be going back?”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” Yoongi says.
Just then the doorbell rings and Yoongi goes to open the door. Namjoon and the kids are back.
“You guys came just in time,” Seokjin says. “Dinner’s almost ready”
“Great, I’m starving,” Namjoon says. “Kids come on change”
Namjoon forces the kids to change while Yoongi sets the table and soon all four of them are back in the kitchen to eat.
Dinner is amazing as always and most of it is spent with the kids telling the three adults about their day.
“Yoongi hyung knows my dance teacher,” Jimin says.
“Oh, that’s amazing,” Namjoon says. “How do you know him?”
“Oh, he was a patient,”
Once dinner finishes Yoongi gets ready to leave but not before hugs from all of his nephews as he waves them goodbye and heads home.
Back home, Yoongi doesn’t take long to fall asleep.
The week passes in a jiffy. Except when Yoongi is with Hoseok because he hasn’t seen anyone be so bright and cheery during radiation and talking about everything while Yoongi would just nod listening.
“Jimin is a talented kid,” he says on their Friday session. “He is gonna do wonders”
“I guess so,”
“Have you ever seen him dance?” Hoseok asks.
“Why not?” Hoseok asks.
“I just never did,”
“Well you’re missing out,” Hoseok says.
“All right, the next time I see Jimin I am gonna ask him to put up an impromptu performance for me,” Yoongi says.
“Are you gonna be at the support group on Sunday?”
“It was only meant to be for a day,” Yoongi answers as he helps Hoseok get up. “Dr. Kim is the one who usually holds the sessions”
“Oh, you were amazing,” Hoseok says. “I will miss you”
“I am sure Dr. Kim is just as good,” Yoongi smiles.
“All right then I’ll see you on Monday,”
“Thank you, Dr. Min,”
“Have a good day Mr. Ju-Hoseok,”
Hoseok smiles before he takes his backpack and exits and so does Yoongi.
The rest of his Friday passes just like that and on Saturday when he reaches the Kim’s residence Seokjin and Namjoon are going on a date instead so Yoongi babysits the kids for them.
He does ask Jimin to dance for him and Jimin does displaying some cool moves or at least Yoongi thinks they look impressive because he doesn’t have much idea about dance.
“Wow, Jimin you are quite talented,”
“Thanks, hyung, but I am not quite there yet,”
At that Jimin grins.
Taehyung ends up showing Yoongi his martial arts skills and Yoongi is quite frankly impressed while Jungkook complains about not having a pool in the middle of the living room because he can’t show Yoongi just how amazing he is at swimming.
“I am sure you are just as amazing,” Yoongi says.
Yoongi’s phone buzzes and he excuses himself.
“Dr. Min,” he hears. He can recognize its Dr. Kang, the dean of medicine.
“Yes, Dr. Kang,”
“I have to ask a favor from you,” she says.
“What is it?”
“Do you know Dr. Kim who presided over the support group?”
“Well, she officially left Korea today to move to the US who got a transfer there,” Dr. Kang says.
“Now, we do not have anyone for the support group,” Dr. Kang says. “I want you to take over instead.
“At least temporarily before I find someone else,” Dr. Kang says. “I know it’s not exactly your department but we really don’t wanna put a stop or close down the group”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything.
“The support group helps the patients a lot and from what I’ve heard in last week the patients liked you, so can you do it?”
“All right um I will do it,” Yoongi says.
“Thank you Dr. Min,” Dr. Kang says. “I really appreciate this”
“It’s no problem,” Yoongi says.
“Thank you again, good night,”
“Good night,” Yoongi hangs up with a sigh.
He has really caught himself up with something.
The next day Yoongi is at the support group at 4:45 and this time it’s not empty. Instead, there’s Hoseok sitting on one of the chairs. When Yoongi enters he looks up surprised.
“Dr. Min,” he says. “What a pleasant surprise”
“Hi,” Yoongi smiles.
“I thought you weren’t going to be coming to any of the future sessions,”
“Yeah, but there’s been a bit of a change,” Yoongi says as he sits on the center seat.
“Dr. Kim who originally took these sessions has moved to the US with her husband,” Yoongi says. “The hospital didn’t have a replacement so I was chosen”
“Oh,” Hoseok says. “For how long?”
“I have no idea,” Yoongi answers. “But I will be here as long as they don’t find someone new,”
“Okay,” Hoseok smiles.
It's 4:50 now and slowly all of those people start coming in and most of them smile at Yoongi.
“So,” Yoongi clears his throat when all of the seats are filled. “Dr. Kim has moved to the US with her husband and of course that means she will no longer be able to take these sessions so, for now, I will be doing it instead”
“Oh, we will miss Dr. Kim,” one of the girls say. “She was quite nice”
“I am sure she was,” Yoongi says.
“We like you too,” a middle-aged woman says.
Yoongi smiles at her.
She smiles back at him.
Yoongi clears his throat again.
“So for today,” Yoongi says. “I actually don’t know what we can talk about, I am unprepared”
The patients exchange a look and Yoongi feels like this evening won’t be going very well.
“We can always freestyle it,” Yoongi hears Hoseok’s voice.
Hoseok gets questioning looks from everyone in the room.
“I mean that we can talk about anything we feel like,” Hoseok explains. “It doesn’t have to be something particular; it could be an experience, some thoughts that have been on your mind, your opinion on something, basically anything”
There is silence in the entire room.
“Anyone,” Yoongi asks.
But no one is willing to share.
“Dr. Kim had this policy that when no one would share she would start the cycle,” a boy says. “Maybe you can do that?”
Yoongi doesn’t know what the hell he could talk about as he racks his brains hard but nothing seems to come to his mind before he finally decides to talk about something.
“I want to talk about the feeling of dissatisfaction,” Yoongi says. “Something which I always feel, I am missing something. I am dissatisfied with life and how things are right now. When I became a doctor I thought I would achieve satisfaction but I was wrong because my life now feels empty for no reason. There is a gaping hole that needs to be filled and I don’t know what to do about it. And then I realize maybe in life as humans we never can reach the satiety because we always want more and more and more and that’s why we are unhappy. Maybe I am unhappy because of my greed but all I know is the newly graduated me 8 years ago wasn’t hoping for a life like this. This is something I think about a lot”
“Son, I am 80,” a man speaks up. “And I have never once felt that I’ve had enough and now I am battling for life and now I appreciate the greater things in life. One day you will reach that point”
“Anyone else?” he asks. “Would like to share about anything they feel like”
The patients are hesitant but little by little they manage to speak up and there are laughs and a bit of tears here and there when it’s over 2 hours Yoongi realizes that they once again exceeded the time limit of the session.
“Thank you, everyone, for turning in today,” Yoongi says. “I hope you all have a wonderful week and I will see you all next Sunday”
The sounds of scraping chairs fill the room and soon everyone leaves except for Hoseok who is busy tying the lace of his sneakers.
“You were quiet today,” Yoongi says.
“I suggested what we should talk about,”
“I mean you didn’t share,”
“Didn’t feel like it,”
“Oh, is everything okay?”
“Um yeah, everything is fine Dr. Min,” Hoseok answers. “Thank you for asking”
“If anything is wrong, you can always tell me,”
“I’ll remember that,” Hoseok says. “And I liked what you said today”
“Yeah,” Hoseok answers. “Not many people talk about the fact that you can be the most successful person in the world and still want more”
“It was very interesting to hear,” Hoseok says. “Seemed like you really thought it through”
“It’s always on my mind,” Yoongi says.
“But I disagree,”
“I think you can reach happiness and satiety,”
“Yeah, you just gotta look for it,”
“Oh trust me Hoseok, I’ve looked,” Yoongi says.
“Maybe you haven’t been looking hard enough,” Hoseok says jabbing a finger to Yoongi’s chest with a little smile. “Anyways, Dr. Min, see you tomorrow”
With that, he walks off leaving Yoongi alone in the room wondering what actually goes on in Jung Hoseok’s mind.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Yoongi stares at himself in the mirror, his eyes look droopy with bags under his eyes. His hair messy, the blonde fading showing his black roots, in conclusion, he looks horrid.
Yoongi realizes if he spends more time staring at himself in the mirror he would definitely get late. So he forces himself to the bathroom and takes a quick shower.
He makes a cup of coffee for himself before leaving the house. He calls Seokjin on the way to work.
“Are you free this evening?” he asks.
“Can you come with me to the salon?” Yoongi says. “I want to dye my hair”
“Thanks, what will I ever do with you?”
“I’ll talk to you later,” Seokjin says. “I am driving the kids to school”
Yoongi reaches the hospital and walks into his office and Jung Hoseok is already waiting for him.
“You are a bit early today,”
“Uh yeah,” Hoseok says. “I want to get to the studio”
“All right come on then,”
Hoseok nods and follows Yoongi to the radiology while the nurse helps Hoseok. Yoongi starts the treatment.
“You know I finally ended up seeing Jimin perform,”
“Oh, did you like it?” Hoseok asks.
“I really don’t know much about dancing but it seemed really cool,” Yoongi answers.
“Jimin is a talented kid, he is gonna go places,” Hoseok said. “But don’t tell him I said that okay”
“I won’t,” Yoongi says chuckling.
For the rest of the time, they are silent until the treatment is done.
The nurse helps Hoseok get up who walks out of the room along with Yoongi who watches in concern as Hoseok puts his backpack on.
“Thanks, Dr. Min,” he says smiling.
“Take care Hoseok,”
Hoseok nods before he walks to the elevator and then waves at Yoongi who waves back just when the door closes.
Yoongi goes back to his work and when it’s about 6 pm he finally decides to leave and Seokjin is there waiting for him.
“I picked up the kids and actually left them alone,” Seokjin says.
“What?” Yoongi says genuinely surprised.
“Joon will get home soon,” Seokjin says. “Besides we really needed an evening to ourselves”
Seokjin grins as he gets into Yoongi’s car. Yoongi watches Seokjin put some music on.
“Why does there have to be traffic?” Seokjin groans after a little while.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything and they manage to reach the hair salon in less than an hour.
Seokjin decides to get a haircut as well while Yoongi has his hair dyed by the over talkative hairstylist and Yoongi mostly replies in smiles and ‘hmms’
Yoongi is more than glad that Seokjin is there to engage in a pointless conversation about the love affair of some famous actor.
When they are done Yoongi glances in the mirror quite satisfied with the result. Something about dying his hair makes him look quite younger. People never believe him when he says that he is gonna 30 soon.
“Yoongi, I am starving,” Seokjin says as they leave the salon.
“Me too,” Yoongi says.
Yoongi and Seokjin decide to visit a sushi restaurant that is just by the salon.
While they wait for their food Seokjin is staring Yoongi up and down. For a while, Yoongi ignores him before finally giving in.
“Why are you looking at me like this?”
“Trying to figure you out,”
“I don’t get you sometimes,” Seokjin sighs.
Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“That girl in the green dress in the next table,” Seokjin whispers and Yoongi immediately turns his head into her direction.
“Don’t look you idiot,” Seokjin hisses.
Yoongi looks back at Seokjin.
“What about her?”
“She has been looking at you for a while,”
“That’s it?” Seokjin says.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” Yoongi asks.
“I don’t know go talk to her or something,” Seokjin replies.
“Hyung please don’t start,” Yoongi says. “I want a nice evening with you without you going on about my lack of a love life”
Seokjin sighs leaning back into the chair.
“You know I constantly pester you to go on dates because I care about you,” Seokjin says.
“I know that but I am quite happy with how things are now,”
“Really, doesn’t seem like it to me,”
“What do you even mean?”
“You are like some kind of robot Yoongi,” Seokjin says. “You are just existing”
Yoongi opens his mouth but he doesn’t have anything to say so he keeps quiet.
“I just want my best friend back,” Seokjin says sighing. “Is that too much ask?”
“Setting me up with random people isn’t gonna bring the old me back,” Yoongi says.
“I don’t know Yoongi, you seemed so happy until you know…and I just want you to see happy like you used to be,”
“People change hyung,” Yoongi says. “I did too and that doesn’t mean I am not happy”
Yoongi knows what he just said is a white lie.
“Yoongi, Jihyo isn’t gonna come back,” Seokjin says. “It’s time you move on”
The words sting harder than Yoongi had expected them to but Yoongi stays silent because he can’t let Seokjin he stills pines for the woman who cheated on him.
“Fine,” Yoongi says. “Fine, I’ll try”
Yoongi sees Seokjin smile a little.
“You don’t have to do it because I am telling you to,” Seokjin says.
Yoongi nods not even listening. He is completely in his own thoughts.
The sushi arrives and they eat in silence while Seokjin eyes him all throughout their time and when Yoongi drops Seokjin off and declines Seokjin’s invitation to come in Seokjin seems to be catching up.
“No no hyung I am okay just tired,” Yoongi manages to lie quickly. “I’ll see you soon”
Yoongi drives off to his house and lies on his bed for awhile before replaying the entire conversation he had with Seokjin in his head.
Maybe, Seokjin is right.
Maybe Yoongi needs to go out more and socialize or maybe even go on dates. The thought is repulsive. He doesn’t see himself taking a girl on a date, holding her hand or doing something even remotely thoughtful.
But Seokjin is right, he can’t swallow in self-pity and be miserable his whole life, he could at least try,
That’s it, Yoongi thought.
He had a very clear plan for tomorrow. He hoped it would work.
The next day when Yoongi walks into the hospital he can feel his heart thumping a little faster than usual. He is nervous.
That’s when he sees her. Yoongi hasn’t noticed her well before but she really is pretty. Her sleek black hair is tied into some knot strands of it falling out as she talks to one of the other nurses.
Yoongi gulps. You can do this, he says to himself.
It is completely rational that he is scared because he hasn’t asked someone out on a date in more than a decade. He doesn’t know how to do this and he doesn’t want to mess up and make a fool out of himself.
Yoongi takes a deep breath before walking up to her.
He stands next to her and she looks up her brown eyes widened.
Already, Yoongi thinks he has fucked up.
“Um, Chaeyoung,” Yoongi says. “I need to talk to you for a second do you mind?”
Chaeyoung nods and Yoongi looks at the other nurse who takes the hint and conveniently walks off, so far so good Yoongi thinks.
“What is it?” Chaeyoung asks.
“I um I was thinking are you free tonight,” Yoongi says.
“Um, yeah, I am free tonight,” Chaeyoung says.
“Well, then would you mind coming to the movies with me?” Yoongi asks.
Chaeyoung blinks slowly and Yoongi thinks he has fucked up and that he should just pretend that all of this never happened when suddenly she smiles.
“Yeah um sure,” she says.
Yoongi smiles back a little.
“So, can we leave at 6?” Yoongi asks.
“Yeah okay,” Chaeyoung says smiling again.
Yoongi smiles too before he walks off and he wants to break off into a mini dance right in the middle of the lobby but he restrains himself.
He goes to his office and spots Hoseok.
“Dr. Min,” Hoseok smiles.
They head for the radiation therapy and today Hoseok doesn’t talk too much. Yoongi wonders why.
When they are done Hoseok stands up with a smile.
“Your hair looks really good,”
“I am surprised you even noticed,” Yoongi says chuckling.
“Blonde is totally your color,” Hoseok says with a little wink.
“Thank you Hoseok,”
“Bye Dr. Min,”
When Hoseok leaves Yoongi goes back to his work but today he isn’t very focused because he is worrying too much about the date.
When it’s 6 pm Yoongi can feel his hand shaking as he walks to the reception and there is Chaeyoung standing with a small smile on her face.
She has let down her hair making her look a lot prettier.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hey,” Yoongi says.
For a second they just stand there until Yoongi clears his throat.
“Shall we go then?”
Chaeyoung nods as they start walking leaving the hospital building and Yoongi can hear the clear hoot of Byun in the background but he doesn’t look back.
They get to Yoongi’s car and Yoongi being the gentleman opens the door for her and the smile he sees on her face makes him think he did at least something right.
Yoongi gets in the driver seat and starts the car.
They drive for a while and the silence almost feels awkward so Yoongi decides to turn the radio on and Chaeyoung smiles.
“I love this song,” she says.
Yoongi sees her tapping her hands in the knees a little smile on her lips.
When the song ends she sits back as the chatter of the radio jockey fills the car.
“Um, can I ask where are we going?” she asks.
“To the movies,”
Yoongi had done all his proper research and according to that one of the best places for a first date is a movie theater so that is exactly where they’re going.
“What movie?” Chaeyoung asks.
Yoongi says the name and Chaeyoung raises her eyebrows in confusion.
“It’s a new hit, it’s a horror movie,” Yoongi says.
“Horror,” she says in a surprised tone and it is evident that she isn’t particularly thrilled about the idea.
“Yeah, um you don’t like horror movies?” Yoongi asks her.
Chaeyoung shakes her head no.
“They scare me,”
Yoongi always thought that girls loved horror movies….well at least Jihyo did.
Yoongi realizes he doesn’t really know much about girls other than Jihyo and of course not everyone is gonna be like her.
“I should have asked you before picking the movie,” Yoongi says. “I am sorry”
“Oh no please don’t be,” Chaeyoung says in a panicked voice. “It’s completely fine”
Yoongi nods before pulling up. They are at the movie theater. Yoongi gets out and again makes his way to open the door for Chaeyoung this time.
“Thank you,” she says.
Yoongi nods with a smile.
They enter the theater and the movie is about to start. Yoongi excuses himself and goes outside to get two tubs of popcorn and two cokes.
When he gets back the movie has just started. Yoongi takes a seat handing Chaeyoung the popcorn and the coke. She takes them with a smile.
The movie is hardly scary but Chaeyoung who is quivering in the seat beside Yoongi seems to think otherwise.
“Do you wanna leave?” Yoongi asks. “It’s okay if you want to”
“No,” she says. “I am okay”
Yoongi gives up the third time he gets the same answer so he watches the frankly boring movie and munches on the popcorn that Chaeyoung couldn’t finish.
When two hours later the movie is finally over Chaeyoung looks relieved as they leave the movie theater.
“I am so sorry for picking out such a movie,”
“Trust me, it’s okay,” Chaeyoung says.
“Well as long as I sleep with my lights on for the next week or so,” she adds with a small chuckle.
Yoongi laughs too before they walk silently.
“Do you wanna grab something to eat before I drop you?” Yoongi asks. “You must be hungry”
“Uh no, I am still full from the popcorn,” she says.
“Oh okay,” Yoongi says. “Should I drop you then?”
“I can get a cab…,”
“No, I am dropping you,” Yoongi says.
“Thank you so much,”
Yoongi just smiles as they get into Yoongi’s car and Yoongi once again turns the radio on so they don’t have to sit through painfully awkward silence.
Yoongi sees Chaeyoung staring out of the window.
“I have to take a right now,” he asks and Chaeyoung nods.
“Thank you for tonight,” she says. “It was quite fun”
Yoongi doesn’t know if she actually enjoyed herself or she just said it for being polite.
“I am glad,” Yoongi says.
Chaeyoung smiles and Yoongi actually thinks she really is quite beautiful. Yoongi wonders why he can’t be like other 20 something men around him who would just at the opportunity for a date like this. They would probably lean in and kiss her but Yoongi has no desire to.
“You can pull up right there,” Chaeyoung says and Yoongi pulls up.
“Thank you so much again,” she says.
“It really is no problem,”
Yoongi gets out of the car along with Chaeyoung.
“Thank you for taking me out,” she says.
“See you tomorrow,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah,” she says before walking into her building. Yoongi gives her a small wave and she waves back before she disappears from Yoongi’s view and Yoongi gets back into his car.
He doesn’t feel like going home just yet and he is starving so Yoongi aimlessly drives around looking for a restaurant until he finds a small burger joint. He orders a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake and eats it slowly.
Yoongi doesn’t know how to feel about tonight. The date didn’t really go bad but Yoongi doesn’t feel happy. He likes Chaeyoung; he wishes he could take her to another date maybe even kiss her but a part of him wants to distance himself away from her.
Yoongi doesn’t understand his feelings today.
When Yoongi finishes his meal he pays before leaving and walks to where he parked his car when he almost knocks someone over.
“I am sorry,” he hears a familiar voice.
Yoongi looks up and sees it’s Hoseok.
“Dr. Min,” he says.
Yoongi blinks and Hoseok grins.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Hoseok says.
“I was just here um passing by,” Yoongi lies.
“And what are you doing here?” Yoongi asks.
“I live here nearby,”
“Yeah, I just stepped out to eat some bingsu and then bumped into you,”
“Would you like to join me?”
Eating bingsu with your patient really isn’t the most professional thing Yoongi can do but he says yes anyway and Hoseok gives him a big smile.
“Come on then,” he says. “I know this amazing place”
Yoongi follows Hoseok and they stop at a little café. Hoseok orders for them.
“So, you were just passing by?” Hoseok asks Yoongi with a raised eyebrow.
Yoongi decided not to lie this time.
“I was um on a date,”
“Aw, that’s nice,” Hoseok says. “How did it go?”
“It was okay,”
“Just okay?” Hoseok asks.
“Yeah I mean it was fun but still..,” Yoongi trails away wondering why is he revealing so much information to a stranger.
“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks resting his hand on his chin.
Yoongi is a little taken aback by how curious Hoseok is and he sits up straighter.
“She is nice, beautiful but…,”
“It just didn’t feel right,” Yoongi says with a sigh. “She is amazing but I don’t feel anything”
“Then why did you ask her on a date?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Yoongi sighs.
“I just feel like I need to move ahead in life and going on a date seemed like the perfect idea,”
The bingsu comes and Yoongi starts eating it and Hoseok remains silent.
Yoongi looks at Hoseok who is staring at him.
“You really don’t have to feel like you have to move ahead by going on random dates,” Hoseok says. “Take your time”
“There is nothing wrong with being single,”
Hoseok smiles a little.
“Who was it?” he asks.
“Just a nurse from the hospital,” Yoongi says.
Both Yoongi and Hoseok finish their bingsu and Hoseok pays for them.
“It’s okay Dr. Min,” he says. “I asked you to come so it’s only fair I pay”
“Thanks, Hoseok,” Yoongi smiles.
Hoseok grins before they get up and leave the café and walk to where Yoongi had parked his car.
“Thank you for coming with me,” Hoseok says.
“Oh no it’s nothing,”
“I was feeling quite lonely today and it felt nice to talk to you,” Hoseok says.
“Everything okay?” Yoongi asks.
“As okay as it can ever be,” Hoseok says with a sad smile. “Anyway, I have to go now Dr. Min, thanks again and good night”
And just like that Hoseok leaves before Yoongi can even say good night. Yoongi gets into his car and drives back to his home.
When he reaches home he is so exhausted he falls asleep even before he can tell Seokjin about his date.
He figures he can drive to Seokjin’s after work and give a detailed report in person. Seokjin would like that.
The spoon from Seokjin’s hands falls down.
“You what?” he asks his eyes as wide as buttons.
“I went to a date with a nurse, her name is Chaeyoung and she is very pretty,” Yoongi repeats in a monotone voice. “We went to see a horror movie”
“You are not joking, are you?”
Yoongi shakes his head no.
“You actually went on a date with a girl?”
“Yeah, I did,”
“Oh my god,” Seokjin says. “I can’t believe this”
“You were the one who told me I should go out more,”
“Yeah but I didn’t expect you to do it so fast,”
“What was it like?” Seokjin says. “Tell me everything”
“It was good uh we saw the horror movie it was okay,”
“I don’t care about the movie,” Seokjin says impatiently. “Tell me about Chaeyoung”
“Chaeyoung is very nice and pretty,”
“Did she enjoy?”
“She told me horror movies aren’t her thing and she barely watched any of it,”
“Oh,” Seokjin frowns.
“But she did tell me she had fun and it sounded like she meant it,” Yoongi says.
“Oh um will you be seeing her again?” Seokjin asks.
“I don’t know,”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I like her in that way yet,” Yoongi says. “She is nice but it doesn’t feel right”
“Maybe if you go out with her,” Seokjin says. “You’ll find a spark”
“Yeah maybe,” Yoongi says hesitantly.
“I can’t believe you actually went out on a date,” Seokjin says. “I am so happy for you”
Yoongi fakes a smile. He doesn’t feel happy, not even in the slightest bit. He doesn’t regret the date but he probably won’t be seeing her anytime in the future especially since he had been avoiding her like the plague all day today and pretending that he didn’t see her and walking away.
Chaeyoung would get the hint soon.
Chaeyoung is too good for him anyway. She can find any guy and a guy who would actually love her not someone fucked up like Yoongi who still had his wedding ring and a picture of his ex-wife in his backside drawer. He didn’t deserve someone like Chaeyoung; he only deserved his drunken loneliness.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
An update after two whole months. Wow, I'm really terrible and I won't be surprised if people forget that this fanfic even exists. I've been awfully busy with college and cram school and hence such terrible updating schedule but fear not I am getting back on track and I promise weekly updates always. So please forgive me and I hope you guys enjoy this mess of a chapter! ❤️
Yoongi walks into the hospital with his coffee in one hand when he is pulled back suddenly by someone. Yoongi looks over at Jackson who is grinning.
“You are such a player Min,”
Yoongi gives him a confused look.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, don’t you act all innocent now,” Jackson says. “Everyone in the hospital knows”
“You and Chaeyoung going on a date together,” Jackson says.
Yoongi groans internally.
“Um uh yeah,”
“Genius huh Min but I’m hurt you didn’t even tell me,” he says clutching his heart.
“Well, it was um very spontaneous,” Yoongi says. “How did you find out anyway?”
“Byun told me and he heard it from one of the nurses,”
Yoongi groaned audibly this time.
“So pretty much everybody knows now,”
“Yeah,” Jackson says. “Anyway, how was it?”
“It was okay,”
“Okay? That’s all your place or her place…,”
“We were at the movies,” Yoongi says.
“We didn’t have sex Jesus,” Yoongi says.
“What?” Jackson almost yells.
“We just went to see a movie,” Yoongi says. “That’s all”
“Not even a kiss?”
Yoongi simply shakes his head no.
“Min, you wasted an opportunity,”
Yoongi rolls his eyes as he continues to sip his coffee.
“So, are you going out again today?” Jackson asks.
“I have some other stuff to take care of,” Yoongi lies quickly.
Jackson frowns but doesn’t say anything and then Yoongi spots Chaeyoung talking to one of the other nurses. Yoongi tries to look away before she can catch his eye but she looks at him and gives him a smile which Yoongi has no option but to return.
“She is so into you Min holy shit,” Jackson says.
“And what makes you say that?” Yoongi asks.
“The way she smiled at you it was so obvious,” Jackson says.
Yoongi dumps his empty cup in the trash as he heads to the elevator. Jackson joins him in the elevator.
“You should really do something when she wants to be with you,” Jackson says.
“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” Yoongi says with a forced smile as the elevator doors open and he gets out of the elevator.
Yoongi sees Hoseok waiting on his phone.
“Oh hey morning,” Hoseok says with a yawn as he stands up and follows Yoongi to the radiation room.
“You didn’t sleep?” Yoongi asks.
“Uh no I woke up early to go to the studio,” Hoseok says as he lies down but has to be helped by Yoongi.
“You should focus on resting more,”
“Yeah, I know,” Hoseok says. “I try”
Yoongi nods as he begins the treatment and his mind is clouded with the thoughts of Chaeyoung and he is wondering if he should ask her on another date.
On one hand, Yoongi holds absolutely no interest in her. She is amazing but Yoongi doesn’t see himself with her. In fact, he doesn’t even think he deserves her. She should be with someone younger who is capable of romantic relationships and not someone as emotionally unavailable as Yoongi.
But on the other hand, Yoongi wants to move on. He wants to forget Jihyo as hard it is. He wants to start afresh and Chaeyoung might just be perfect for it but Yoongi can’t make himself to make the move.
Yoongi sighs a little.
He notices Hoseok is done and the nurse helps him to sit on the sofa. Hoseok seems exhausted catching his breath.
“You okay?” Yoongi asks.
“I’m-I’m fine,” Hoseok says and manages to even smile.
Yoongi smiles back.
“How’s Jimin’s dance going?” Yoongi asks.
“Very great he picks up the moves quite well,” Hoseok says animatedly. “Very talented”
Yoongi feels himself getting proud of his little nephew’s talent.
“I always knew the kid was going places,” Yoongi says.
“He definitely is,”
Neither of them of says anything and for Yoongi it’s time to go to his other patients but Yoongi has the strange urge to linger.
Hoseok stands up after a little while and Yoongi is quick to offer support but Hoseok declines.
“Thank you Doc I’ll manage,” he says.
“Okay,” Yoongi says. “Take care”
“You too,” Hoseok says. “See you tomorrow Dr. Min”
Yoongi goes back to work and when it is lunchtime he goes down to the cafeteria and sees Chaeyoung at the salad bar and his first instinct is to leave the cafeteria but again Chaeyoung sees him and waves.
Yoongi can’t be that rude so he waves back with a smile and walks towards her.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” she says.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything and awkwardly stands around.
“Um, why don’t you get something to eat too?” Chaeyoung suggests.
“Uh yeah,” Yoongi says scratching his head as he buys a chicken sandwich and of course follows Chaeyoung to one of the empty tables.
Chaeyoung begins eating her salad and Yoongi unwraps his sandwich. The silence is too awkward and Yoongi is glad when Chaeyoung decides to break it.
“I really enjoyed the movie,” she says not meeting Yoongi’s eyes as she twirls her spoon in the lettuce.
“Um yeah me too,” Yoongi lies through his cheek.
Chaeyoung finally looks up and smiles.
Yoongi only smiles back.
Chaeyoung begins eating and so does Yoongi.
“So um,” Chaeyoung begins hesitantly.
“Are you busy tonight?”
Yoongi is sure he is hearing things. How can it be possible that a girl like Chaeyoung is possibly asking him if he is free for a date?
“Yeah I am,”
“Cool,” she says in a casual tone eating her salad.
A part of Yoongi’s mind is screaming to take the chance and go for it ask her out on a date.
‘DO IT’ it screams.
Yoongi takes a deep breath.
“Um, so would you like to hang out today with me?” he asks.
Yoongi IA admittedly blown away when he sees Chaeyoung walk towards him while he is waiting for her outside his car. She has changed into a pair of dress that is such a contrast from her usual nurse outfit. Her black hair hangs around her shoulders in wave and she is just wearing enough makeup.
“I am um sorry I got a bit late,”
“Oh it’s nothing,” Yoongi assures her as he opens the car door of her.
She gets in with a smile.
Yoongi gets in the car and starts it when Chaeyoung stops him.
“Wait, where are we going?”
“Um I was thinking we could grab some dinner,”
“Oh,” Chaeyoung says. “Would you mind if I suggest something else?”
“We can go to a bar,” she says. “All my friends rave about one and I’ve never been there…,”
So maybe all the young people liked going to bars for dates now…and if Chaeyoung wanted it who was he to say no.
Chaeyoung grins and tells Yoongi the address of the bar. Yoongi starts driving and luckily they barely get any traffic and before Yoongi knows he is at the bar. Yoongi manages to find a parking spot with great difficulty and gets in. It’s crowded filled with people to the brim and it’s a weekday. Yoongi can only imagine what it must be like on weekends.
There is excessively loud music playing and people are dancing. Yoongi has an overwhelming desire to leave but he looks over at Chaeyoung who seems in awe. Maybe Yoongi really is getting too old…
“We should get some drinks,” Chaeyoung says.
They head to the bar and Chaeyoung orders a beer for them.
Yoongi sips on the beer staring around at the people and Chaeyoung too looks around. She orders another beer for herself while Yoongi declines.
She finishes her other beer and is more cheery and open suddenly.
“Um would you like to dance with me?” she asks.
Yoongi has never danced in his life. His feet just can’t move the way you are required to move and among all these wild young people he is gonna look even more like a joke but Chaeyoung is looking at him with hopeful eyes.
Yoongi sighs and nods.
Chaeyoung grins and takes his hand and they go to the dance floor. Some song is playing that Yoongi has no idea about. It’s no surprise he has long given up keeping up with the latest music.
He tries to awkwardly move with Chaeyoung who seems to be really having the time of her life. She is lively and grinning and laughing constantly as she twirls around.
“This is so fun,” she says between breaths.
Yoongi only nods.
After half an hour of torture, Chaeyoung is too tired to continue so they sit at the bar stools and Chaeyoung drinks another beer while Yoongi declines again.
Chaeyoung is now tipsy as she giggles talking to someone on her phone and Yoongi is regretting coming here altogether and can’t wait to leave.
Chaeyoung finally hangs up after about 20 minutes.
“Hey um Chaeyoung,” Yoongi says. “It’s getting late we should get home now yeah”
“All right fine,” she says.
Yoongi nods as he gets up but he is stopped by Chaeyoung.
“Don’t you think you are forgetting something?” she asks.
Yoongi looks at the counter to see if he has accidentally left his phone or car keys but it’s empty so he looks back at Chaeyoung confused.
“Um, what are you talking about?”
Chaeyoung rolls her eyes.
“Idiot,” she mutters before she grins and licks her lips.
Suddenly she is leaning into Yoongi and Yoongi realizes what she is doing and backs off.
Chaeyoung looks at Yoongi surprised.
“Why did you move away?”
“Chaeyoung we can’t do this here,”
“Are you not comfortable in public? It’s okay I mean there is a dark…,”
“No no,” Yoongi says. “You are drunk I can’t take advantage of you like that”
“I am not drunk,” Chaeyoung says as she walks and almost trips. “Okay only a bit”
She laughs a little before she comes toward Yoongi but Yoongi backs off again.
“Uh no Chaeyoung we really can’t do this,” he says. “I am sorry”
Chaeyoung seems to finally give up and almost looks embarrassed.
“Let’s get home,” Yoongi says taking her hand but she removes It from his grip.
“I um I can get a cab,” she says not meeting Yoongi’s eyes.
“I am not letting you be alone in this state,” Yoongi simply says as he takes her hand again and they leave the bar.
Chaeyoung gets in the car and Yoongi starts driving. Chaeyoung stays silent staring out of the car window and Yoongi can already sense that he has built her expectations up and hurt her with his rejection.
Yoongi drives to Chaeyoung’s building and when he stops the car Chaeyoung is ready to step out but Yoongi stops her.
“Chaeyoung I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says. “I’m sorry but I didn’t wanna take advantage of you”
Chaeyoung smiles a little.
“I understand,” she says. “You are such a gentleman”
Chaeyoung leans in and presses a kiss on Yoongi’s cheek.
“Thank you Yoongi,” she says. “And good night”
Chaeyoung leaves the car and waves to Yoongi who waves back. Yoongi watches until she enters the building before he drives to his house too.
Yoongi reaches his house and changes and sticks some leftover Chinese in the microwave. He eats sitting on the sofa while watching reality TV.
He only goes to sleep at 12 AM after watching a mind numbing amount of reality TV.
Yoongi is thinking about what happened today. Of course, he didn’t wanna take advantage of Chaeyoung but he also didn’t want to kiss her. He liked Chaeyoung he really did but he couldn’t see himself with her and he knows he has to do something before it gets late and he breaks Chaeyoung’s heart…
Yoongi sighs. He has gotten himself into a big mess.
Yoongi walks into work the next day and he doesn’t see Chaeyoung anywhere. Yoongi would ask her friends where she is but it would be weird so Yoongi walks straight to where Hoseok is waiting for him and he is there as usual smiling.
“Morning,” Yoongi says when he notices the huge bandage Hoseok is sporting on his leg.
“What’s that?” he asks. “Did you get hurt?”
“Oh yeah, I tripped while dancing and cut myself it’s not a big deal though…”
“Hoseok you really need to be more careful,” Yoongi says. “I’m serious”
“Yeah I know,” Hoseok says. “I mean I try”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything as they proceed to start with the treatment.
When they are done Hoseok leaves immediately because he seems to be in a hurry.
Yoongi spends the rest of the day working and leaves his office to get lunch and gets a good look around the cafeteria and there is no sign of Chaeyoung anywhere. Yoongi wonders where she is. He could call her but he realizes he doesn’t even have her number…
When he gets off work Yoongi decides he would go to Seokjin’s house. He really doesn’t need an excuse to go over and Seokjin is always glad to have him over.
When Yoongi reaches the house he finds Seokjin in between stopping Taehyung and Jungkook having a fist fight while Jimin is screaming his head off.
“Kids,” Yoongi says.
Everyone stops the task on hand and runs up to Yoongi hugging his knees.
“You can take these brats from me,” Seokjin says. “They never listen to me anyway”
Seokjin sits down on the couch with a sigh as Yoongi sits down next to him.
“Yes I got all of you ice cream,”
“Mint chocolate chip for Kookie,” Yoongi says handing the cup to Jungkook who hops off happily.
“Rocky road for Jimin,” he says and Jimin takes it and even mutters a Thank you.
“And cookies and cream for Taehyungie,” Yoongi says.
“You spoil them too much,” Seokjin complains.
Yoongi just laughs.
“So, what brings you here today?”
“Nothing, I am tired of going to an empty house,” Yoongi says with a sad smile.
“Which reminds me of how are things with Chaeyoung,” Seokjin asks him in an excited voice.
“Uh well we went to a bar yesterday,”
“Wow, really,” Seokjin says.
“What happened there?” Seokjin asks.
“We um danced and…,”
“Yoongi you actually danced?” Seokjin asks.
“Yeah I mean I just kinda you know moved around…,”
“And she got a bit tipsy and tried to kiss me,” Yoongi says.
“Did you kiss her back?” Seokjin asks sounding too hopeful.
Yoongi simply shakes his head no.
“Well, why not?”
“Because she was drunk and I didn’t wanna take undue advantage of her,” Yoongi says but it’s only half of a reason and Seokjin doesn’t seem convinced.
“Is that all?”
“Um also I don’t want to kiss her…,”
“You don’t like her?”
“I don’t know hyung it’s complicated I mean I can appreciate her as a person and she is quite beautiful and she seems into me but I don’t feel a thing,” Yoongi says.
“You are thinking too much Yoongi,”
“I know how you feel,” Seokjin says. “And I understand how hard it can be to let someone in your life after you know…,”
“But if you give it some time you know…,”
Just then Namjoon arrives and the rest of the time is spent talking eating and Yoongi tries to join but he is pondering about other things.
The next day when Yoongi goes to work Chaeyoung is there as smiling as ever.
Yoongi walks up to her and decides to ask her where she was.
“Hey,” Yoongi says.
“Hey,” she says.
“You weren’t here yesterday,”
“Oh that I was a bit sick,” Chaeyoung says with a little chuckle.
“Oh, are you okay now?”
“I’m great thanks for asking,”
Yoongi smiles at her and she smiles back.
“So, I’ll see you later,” Yoongi says.
“Yoongi wait,” Chaeyoung says when Yoongi turns around.
“Um, if you are free tonight maybe we can get dinner together,”
Yoongi couldn’t say no even when he wants to.
The rest of the day is fast and when Yoongi finally gets off work Chaeyoung is waiting for him. They head to Yoongi’s car.
“So where do you wanna go?” Yoongi asks her.
“Um, there is a great restaurant just half an hour away,”
“Oh all right,”
Yoongi starts driving and Chaeyoung turns on some music. It ends up taking them 45 minutes to reach there and it’s a bit crowded already but Yoongi and Chaeyoung manage to find a booth.
“What do you wanna eat?” Yoongi asks Chaeyoung.
“A salad,” she says. “And you?”
“I’ll um just take some risotto,” he says saying the first thing he sees on the menu because he really isn’t feeling the outing and Chaeyoung seems chirpier than usual.
When the food arrives Yoongi focuses on eating and only answers Chaeyoung’s question who is adamant to know Yoongi in a ‘better’ way and is basically playing 21 questions with him.
“Black,” Yoongi answers.
“Won’t you ask mine?” she asks.
“Look Chaeyoung,” Yoongi says and Chaeyoung immediately stops talking.
“I really like you I really do,”
A flicker of a smile spreads across Chaeyoung’s face.
“But,” Yoongi says. “I don’t think we can work out”
The smile fades away.
“What do you mean?”
“You are amazing Chaeyoung you really are but this us we aren’t meant to be and I’m sorry I really am because I like you a lot but I just can’t do this,”
Chaeyoung looks down and when she looks up again her eyes are brimmed with tears.
“You are a fucking asshole Min Yoongi,” she says.
“Why did you even ask me out if you never wanted to do this?” Chaeyoung asks.
“I’ve had enough,” Chaeyoung says as she stands up.
A full glass of water is suddenly on Yoongi’s face.
“Fuck you,” Chaeyoung says loudly before she walks off.
It takes Yoongi a whole two minutes to collect himself and open his eyes and everyone is staring at him when he sees a hand holding out a tissue.
Yoongi takes it and looks up to see Jung Hoseok the last person he had expected to see.
Yoongi wipes his face and gets up from his seat and takes the walk of shame among the other diners who are all staring at him as if he were the eighth wonder of the world.
He only notices that Hoseok came out with him when he steps out of the restaurant.
“Is everything okay Dr. Min?”
“Yeah everything is fine,”
Hoseok just nods.
“Do you need any help…,”
“No, I am good thank you,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok nods again and smiles a little.
“Bye take care,” he says.
“You too,” Yoongi says before he goes to his car and drives back home wondering how does he manage to fuck up everything in life.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
I hope you guys still remember this fic...
I am horrible at updating and I am very sorry for it.
Yoongi can feel the burning gaze on him as soon as he walks into the hospital because everybody is staring at him. He knows that they are looking at him like he just murdered someone. Of course, the news would spread quicker than fire.
As Yoongi made his way to the elevator he saw two nurses whispering to each other as they looked at him. Yoongi tried not to think about it too much as he got in and the elevator was thankfully empty. He almost thought he should skip work but he wouldn’t be that much of a coward so here he is now.
When he reaches his office Yoongi sighs thinking about how much flak he is gonna get for the next few weeks that is until some new drama pops up and everyone gets distracted by what happened between him and Chaeyoung and he can go back to being the invisible weird but renowned oncologist a role that he plays so well. Working at a hospital can get boring sometimes and the doctors, nurses all live off the drama. It’s just how it is.
But now he will be treated like he is some player who breaks girl’s heart but that is far from the truth because Yoongi has dated only 3 girls in his life one of whom he married. The last thing Min Yoongi is a player. However, that will not stop people from talking and gossiping about his life. It’s like a game of Chinese whisper as everyone would have formed their own opinions about the whole situation.
And a bit of it maybe is Yoongi’s fault because he was the one who let things drag out with Chaeyoung while knowing deep down it would never become a thing. And he was rude to her as well. Maybe, after all, Yoongi deserves this.
Yoongi leaves the office to head to the radiation room. As usual, he is greeted by Hoseok as much as Yoongi doesn’t want to see him because he was a personal witness to all the embarrassment but Yoongi is professional and he tries to put himself on his best behavior.
“Mr. Ju-Hoseok,” Yoongi says.
“Hey, Dr. Min,”
Yoongi begins the treatment and while Hoseok is always in a much cheery mode today he seems to be carefully looking at Yoongi almost examining him and Yoongi wishes nothing more than to hide away in a dark cave but he cannot. Hoseok’s relenting stare is unsettling but not as uncomfortable for some reason. It feels like he is watching Yoongi with concern, not judgment like rest of the hospital staff was.
When Hoseok is done Yoongi excuses himself quickly in a lame attempt to avoid any kind of questions and he is quite successful at that and for the rest of the day everything goes in a blurry because he was cooped up in the office doing paperwork on all his patients. At least he can avoid people with that.
When his shift is done Yoongi leaves quickly and decides to go to Seokjin’s home because he really needs to talk to Seokjin although he frankly hates showing up to Seokjin’s house and burdening him with his problems when Seokjin already has so much on a plate-3 kids, the house, Namjoon and the business he wants to do but if he doesn’t talk to someone he feel like he might go crazy.
So, here he is knocking on Seokjin’s door and Seokjin opens up a surprised smile on his face.
“Yoongi,” he says.
“Hey,” Yoongi says entering the house as Seokjin closes the door.
“You have blessed me with your presence yet again,”
“Uh yes,” Yoongi says his lips pressed into a small smile. “Where are the kids?”
“With Namjoon at a baseball game,” Seokjin says. “They are gonna be home late so I was planning to have a face mask and sit down with a good book and a glass of wine”
“Am I ruining your plans?”
“Shut up,” Seokjin says. “I always have time for you”
Yoongi smiles at him.
“And I really like it when you come over,” Seokjin says.
“So, how did your day go?” Seokjin says as he gets up. “Do you want some green tea?”
“Yeah, tea would be nice,”
“Be right back,” Seokjin says and he returns a few minutes later with water, teabags and two cups.
“So, how was your day?” Seokjin asks as he pours the hot water into a cup and dips a teabag in it before pushing it towards Yoongi.
“It wasn’t that good,” Yoongi answers.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just…a lot of things happened,”
“I’m all ears,” Seokjin says.
“You know I was seeing that girl…,”
“Chaeyoung,” Seokjin says.
“Yeah her,” Hoseok says. “Well I um I fucked up things with her”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we went to this um restaurant and we were getting to know each other when I got frustrated that I basically told her I do like her but things can never ever work out between us”
Seokjin frowns a little.
“She got mad and threw a glass of water on my face”
“Holy hell really?” Seokjin asks.
Yoongi just nods.
“And then one of my patients was there and they helped me because I was well too embarrassed to even move”
“Yeah, and now the whole hospital seems to have caught the wind of this incident,” Yoongi says. “Everyone was staring at me everywhere I went whispering and shit like I killed someone”
“God, Yoongi I’m sorry,” Seokjin says a sympathetic look on his face.
“I don’t know maybe it’s just my fault,” Yoongi says. “I shouldn’t have let her on”
“That’s right,” Seokjin says. “But it was not like you broke out this news after months of dating…you guys went on like what 3 dates”
“The whole water throwing thing was a bit of an overreaction,” Seokjin says. “And that too in front of a whole restaurant”
“I can never live that down,” Yoongi says with a humorless chuckle.
“It’s okay,” Seokjin says. “You didn’t do anything wrong…you know that”
“I just wish that not everyone in the fucking hospital knew about it”
“Well, you know how girls are they gossip,” Seokjin says rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, they just love drama,” Yoongi says.
“You forget about them,” Seokjin says. “They will find something new to talk about in a week”
Yoongi just nods.
“You should be hungry,” Seokjin says. “Should I make something for you?”
“Can you make French fries?” Yoongi asks.
“Baked with olive oil,” Seokjin says.
Yoongi sighs giving in.
“Anything is fine,” he says.
Seokjin grins walking off.
Yoongi lies on the sofa switching on the TV watching the scenes on the screen lost in his own world.
The rest of the week passes on just like that for Yoongi between his patients and the stares from his co-workers especially Chaeyoung who has a stony glare every time Yoongi looks in her general direction.
Yoongi has heard from Jackson the various different versions which he heard from Byun.
“You tried to forcefully kiss Chaeyoung,”
“You were drunk and rambling about your ex-wife”
“You were hitting on another woman in the restaurant”
And the truth, “You rudely told Chaeyoung you are not interested” Part of the truth anyway.
And apparently most believed the last one though some were sure that Yoongi was drunkenly rambling about his ex-wife, Yoongi secretly laughed at that.
All in all, Yoongi didn’t have to worry about it too much because on Friday Dr. Yoon’s wife found out that he had been cheating on her with Dr. Lee and of course when Yoongi left work that day and the next day there were only whispers of Dr. Yoon and Dr. Lee to be heard. Dr. Yoon hadn’t even shown up to work but Dr. Lee did and kept a low profile walking with her head down. Yoongi honestly felt a bit bad for her but glad that he wasn’t the topic of discussion anymore.
It made him feel like he wasn’t working in a hospital but acting in a Grey’s Anatomy episode.
Yoongi spent the Saturday with Seokjin, Namjoon, and the kids. They decided to have a movie night while Seokjin made healthy snacks like kale chips and smoothies. The kids fell asleep in just the first half an hour of the movie even though they had been demanding to watch IT for a long time and Seokjin finally gave in. However, Jungkook fought his sleep clinging to Yoongi’s arm each time Pennywise popped up on the screen he too fell asleep in 40 minutes still holding onto Yoongi’s arm.
Yoongi felt like a third wheel yet again watching Seokjin and Namjoon with each other cuddled up Seokjin’s head resting on Namjoon’s chest both watching the movie.
He looks away as he focuses on watching the movie. When it’s finally over his arm feels numb from Jungkook sleeping on it. Yoongi gently picks him up and carries him to bed while Namjoon and Seokjin put Taehyung and Jimin to bed.
“Good night,” Seokjin says hugging to Yoongi.
“Night hyung,” Namjoon says.
“Night,” Yoongi says as he grabs his jacket ready to leave. He drives back to his flat but not before picking up some soju.
When he reaches home he drinks a bottle and is finally able to fall asleep.
When Yoongi wakes up he is greeted by an unusually gloomy Sunday. The day is cloudy grey just like how Yoongi feels. Yoongi decides to get some cleaning around the apartment. He does the laundry, wipes every piece of furniture, and changes his sheet. His hands are busy and so is his mind and in the end, he has a clean house so it’s a win-win situation.
Around 4 Yoongi changes to head out to the support group. The traffic is sparse and he is not left with much time to brainstorm about what exactly to discuss in the support group. He curses himself to putting it off for so long.
By the time Yoongi reaches the hospital it’s raining like cats and dogs. He doesn’t even have an umbrella as he runs into the building holding his jacket upon his head.
He enters the room and there are a few people already there. They smile at Yoongi as he sits down running his hands through his wet hair. He smiles back at them and waits for another 5 minutes until the room fills in. The last person to show up is Hoseok who apologizes to everyone before taking his seat he gives a little wave to Yoongi. Yoongi only smiles.
“Good evening everyone,” Yoongi says. “Today we have a new member joining in Sohee”
Everyone looks at Sohee a girl aged 18 years old, lung cancer stage 3 from what Yoongi remembers from the phone call he got from her mother.
“Hello Sohee,” they say with cheery smiles.
Sohee shyly mumbles an inaudible ‘Hi
“Welcome Sohee” Yoongi says. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”
Sohee stands on her shaky feet looking around nervously.
“Hello I…I am Sohee, I’m 18 years old…I am a…high school student…and I love painting”
Yoongi smiles at her and she hesitantly smiles back.
“What are your dreams?” he remembers to ask.
At that Sohee’s mouth turns into a little frown.
“Well, I heard the doctor…say, my father…I have…very…little time left…to live…well so before that I would like to have any of my paintings in an exhibition”
Yoongi notices a few mouths turn into frowns. There is tension in the atmosphere.
“Sohee, I’m sure that will come true very soon,” Hoseok speaks out.
“He is right,” the woman sitting next to Sohee says. “You don’t have to worry”
Sohee smiles a little.
“Thank you Sohee,” Yoongi says. “You can sit down now”
Sohee sits down on her seat.
Yoongi sits back in his chair and clears his throat.
“So, what should we talk about today?” he asks looking around the room hoping someone would suggest something and sure enough a hand shoots up in the air.
“Yura,” the woman says.
“Yes, Yura,” Yoongi says. “Would you like to talk about something?”
“I uh I think as cancer patients it’s natural for us to dwell on the negative thoughts more on the positive ones”
“And today I want us all to be happy and positive by sharing the happiest memory we have”
“That’s an excellent idea,” Yoongi says.
Yura smiles at him.
“Why don’t you start then?” Yoongi suggests. “Tell us about your happiest memory”
Yura talks about the time she took a walk with her husband down the side of a beach and they talked about nothing at all but just walked by each other’s side.
“Why is that your happiest memory?” a boy asks.
“I think at the time I realized that it didn’t matter if we were doing anything or not because as long as he was with me I could be happy”
There are smiles on everyone’s faces.
Soon, stories are being shared some about love, some about family and some funny. There are tears shed, hugs shared laughs that echo loudly across the room and most importantly support offered in the form of a distraction.
“What about you Dr. Min?” a woman named Chaeyeon asks. “You should share too”
Yoongi doesn’t enjoy this part very much if he is being honest but he supposes it is a part of being the host of the group a job he really isn’t that good at in the first place.
Yoongi thinks about the happiest memory he has had and nothing, in particular, comes into his mind, not the trips that he took as a child, not the time he graduated, not the time he got married or just anything in general.
Everyone is looking at him intently. He considers making up something for the sake of it but then decides against it.
“I don’t really have any favorite happy memory,” he finally says. “At least not any I can think of”
The stares are still on him. They look confused some even worried almost.
Yoongi quickly amends.
“I am very forgetful most time,” he laughs a little.
Most people seem convinced enough and the circle goes on until it lands on Hoseok.
“My favorite happy memory,” he says with a pause. “Is every day”
He is met with confused looks including Yoongi.
“Well, I try to find something happy in every day I live,” Hoseok says with a smile. “I think every day can be a happy day…like today I fed a stray cat and it was my favorite happy for today and yesterday one of our dance teams won an award and that was my favorite memory”
Everyone seems amazed by Hoseok’s little revelation.
Yoongi while has always been very dismissive of optimism of any kind of idea he can’t bring himself to be critical of Hoseok’s positive attitude no matter how hard he thinks about.
He smiles at Hoseok.
“That is very amazing Hoseok,” he says.
“Thank you, Dr. Min,”
Yoongi checks his watch. It’s over about 20 minutes than the official closing time and everyone has shared something today. It has been a successful timing.
“I think we should end this here,” he says. “Thank you, everyone, for coming. I hope to see you all next week”
The sounds of chairs being pulled and shoes against the floor fill the room. Yoongi gets ready to leave as everyone exits the room. It is raining much harder than before as Yoongi runs to his car.
He gets in relieved and starts the car but for some reason, it doesn’t. Yoongi tries multiple times but he can’t get it to start. Yoongi steps out deciding to check the car. He is completely soaked now as he holds a flashlight in his mouth and checks the engine but he can’t seem to understand what is wrong.
Yoongi curses frustrated.
“Dr. Min,” he hears a voice.
It’s Hoseok who is walking towards him.
“Is everything okay?” he asks.
“My car won’t start,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know what is wrong with it”
“Oh, well what are you gonna do?” Hoseok asks.
“Call a mechanic I guess,” Yoongi says. “I don’t think I can fix it”
“I don’t think you can get a mechanic right now,” Hoseok says.
“It’s Sunday and they just issued a flood warning,” Hoseok.
“Oh, I guess then I’ll have to find a cab back home,” Yoongi says.
“There are very few vehicles on the road,” Hoseok says. “There is a lot of waterlogging in some areas”
“Well fuck,” Yoongi curses.
“It’s okay Doc,” Hoseok says. “I can drop you I have a car”
“Do you really want to spend your night in the hospital or the parking lot?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi sighs giving in.
Hoseok chuckles a little.
“Come on now,” he says.
Yoongi follows Hoseok to his car and gets in the front seat. Hoseok tosses a towel to Yoongi.
“Where to, sir?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi chuckles a little before telling him the address.
“Here, you must be cold,”
“Thanks,” Yoongi just says as he starts wiping himself with the towel.
When is done he looks at Hoseok who chuckles a bit.
“Just toss it in the back,”
Yoongi does as he is told.
Hoseok starts the car.
Yoongi looks out of the window. The rain is pouring harder than ever.
“Seems like it’s gonna be a rough night huh,” Hoseok says.
“Yeah, I hope the rain dies down,” Yoongi says.
“Do you mind?” Hoseok asks reaching for the stereo.
“Oh, absolutely not,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok turns it on and a smile spreads across Yoongi’s face as he hears hip-hop music.
“Do you like it?” Hoseok asks.
“Yeah, you have a good taste,” Yoongi says.
“You like hip hop music?” Hoseok asks the surprise in his tone quite evident.
“You can say that it’s my favorite genre,” Yoongi says.
“What? Really?” Hoseok asks.
“Yeah, why is that surprising to you?” Yoongi asks.
“I don’t know,” Hoseok shrugs. “Didn’t peg you as the type of guy to enjoy hip hop music”
“Do I have to be a certain type to enjoy music?” Yoongi asks.
“No,” Hoseok says. “I am just saying”
“Yeah I get it,” Yoongi says. “Boring doctor like me listens to hip-hop shocker”
Hoseok laughs too as he turns the music a bit louder.
There is silence except for the music. The rain seems to be pouring faster. And the traffic is quite horrendous.
Yoongi is staring out in the blurry scene from his windows. They have been stuck here for almost 15 minutes.
Yoongi turns his attention to Hoseok.
“I am sorry if I am being invasive,” Hoseok pauses. “But what happened at that night in the restaurant…you seem very tensed…is everything okay now I mean I was just wondering”
“Oh yeah, everything is fine now,” Yoongi says. “It was just a bit of a misunderstanding”
“Is it clear now?”
“Uh, well not really,” Yoongi says. “But we are past it”
“I know that woman,” Hoseok says.
“She is the one who fills the prescriptions,” Hoseok says. “I’ve seen her”
“Yeah, her she’s the one,”
“She always seemed very sweet,” Hoseok says.
“Yeah, well she is,”
“But she threw a glass of water…,”
Yoongi is uncomfortable thinking back to that evening he squirms in his seat a little.
“It was my fault,” he says.
“I asked her out on a date,” Yoongi says. “We started going out here and there and then I told her I’m not interested…I just lead her on like that”
“Yeah, but you have the right to do that,” Hoseok says. “You just told her the truth”
“It’s okay, really, I mean,” Yoongi says. “She must have been hurt”
“You’re too good of a man Dr. Min,” Hoseok says as he starts the car. The traffic is slowly clearing out but their car comes to an abrupt halt soon.
“I am not,” Yoongi chuckles a little.
“Well, I think you are,” Hoseok says in a quiet voice.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything back instead fiddling with the zipper of his jacket.
“You deserve someone who is worthy of you,” Hoseok says. The car has started again and the road is clear on the ahead. Yoongi looks at Hoseok but stays silent. He doesn’t have any words to say.
“You really don’t have to feel like you have to move ahead by going on random dates,” Hoseok says. “Take your time”
They are almost reaching to Yoongi’s house. Yoongi now has a smile on his face.
“You…you said the same thing,” Yoongi says.
“That day we had bingsu together,” Yoongi explains. “You said the same exact thing to me”
Hoseok smiles as he stops the car. They are now in front of Yoongi’s building, Yoongi realizes.
“Thanks for dropping me Hoseok,” Yoongi says.
“You’re welcome,” Hoseok says with a warm smile.
Yoongi steps out of the car when he notices Hoseok rolling down the windows. Yoongi bends down towards the window.
“I said that because I think it’s true,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi nods as they look at each other for about a whole five seconds before Yoongi almost stands again.
“And Dr. Min,” Hoseok calls out loud.
“You have a really good memory,” Hoseok says with a smile. “Anyway good night”
“Night…,” Yoongi says slowly as Hoseok rolls the windows up and drives off just like that.
Yoongi too walks into his building and when he reaches his flat he takes a shower and changes his clothes all in a haze and by the time he is done he barely has the energy to cook something or pour himself a drink. He falls asleep on the bed just like that.
When Yoongi wakes up the next morning it’s like the rain from last night never happened. The weather is as sunny as it can get with the sun shining too brightly.
Yoongi makes himself toast and coffee and scrolls through news articles about the rain last night. The rains didn’t cause much damage and just one old tree fell but no one was harmed. The rain reportedly died down after 2 am.
Yoongi dresses up and calls for an Uber to the hospital. When he reaches the hospital he first heads to the parking lot to his car and gets in to check it so he can call up the mechanic to fix it.
Yoongi puts the keys in and a loud roar from the engine echoes through his car as it starts by itself.
His car has surprisingly started working on its own.
Yoongi is a bit happy today. He left work earlier than usual which means he has a lot of free time. He could go to his own home but he feels like seeing Seokjin. Being home alone is not the greatest feeling but talking to Seokjin can make his day better drastically.
Yoongi reaches Seokjin’s house at 6:30 pm ringing the doorbell.
Taehyung is the one who opens the door.
“Hey buddy,” Yoongi says picking him up. “How’re you?”
“Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung squeals.
Yoongi grins at him when he sees Jungkook also coming towards him attacking his knees.
Yoongi notices Seokjin and Namjoon both on the sofa. He feels guilty immediately for hogging their family time or something but the grin on Seokjin’s face tells him something else.
“What has happened to you?” he asks. “I don’t have to force you to show up here...you come here on your own”
Yoongi chuckles a little setting down Taehyung.
“Hey hyung,” Namjoon waves at Yoongi.
“Hey, you’re home early today,”
“Uh...yeah,” Namjoon says awkwardly.
Yoongi sits down on the chair. He thinks he might leave in some time. He is sure he is being a nuisance. Maybe Namjoon is home early because they have family plans; Yoongi doesn’t want to ruin it.
Just then he notices Jimin sitting on the far end of the sofa his chin rested on his knees looking out the window.
“Jiminie,” Yoongi says. “Won’t you come say ‘Hi’ to me?”
There is no response from Jimin.
“What is up with Jimin?” Yoongi asks Taehyung and Jungkook who are perched on each of his legs.
“We are not going to celebrate Jimin hyung’s birthday,” Jungkook says loudly. “So he is mad at us”
Seokjin sighs loudly.
Yoongi looks at him giving a questioning look but Seokjin doesn’t say anything.
“What happened?’ Yoongi asks.
“Namjoon was the one...,” Seokjin begins.
“I would have never done that...if I had...,” Namjoon interrupts Seokjin. “And I already apologized for it”
“Apologized for what?” Yoongi asks.
“Jimin’s birthday is on Wednesday,” Seokjin explains. “And Namjoon booked an exterminator for that day because he forgot about Jimin’s birthday”
“I didn’t forget about Jimin’s birthday...,” Namjoon defends himself. “I just forgot...what day it was on”
“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” Seokjin asks.
“Well, can’t you just tell the exterminator to come on another day?” Yoongi asks.
“No, his schedule is all fixed for the next two months and they don’t refund your money,” Seokjin says. “Besides we are getting a really bad bug infestation...”
“You saw exactly two cockroaches...,” Namjoon says and Seokjin glares at him.
“We asked him if he wanted to have a celebration before or after that but Jimin won’t agree with anything....,” Seokjin trails off. “It’s our fault we should have been more responsible”
Yoongi frowns biting his lip. He doesn’t like Jimin be this sad. The boy seems to sink further and further into the sofa when Yoongi has an idea.
“Hyung,” Yoongi says excitedly. “You can still have the birthday party”
“You can have the party at my house,” Yoongi says.
Seokjin and Namjoon look at each other unsure before looking back at Yoongi.
“Hyung are you sure?” Namjoon says. “We don’t want to cause you more trouble”
“Really, Namjoon you are going to be formal with me now?” Yoongi asks.
“No hyung...it’s just...,”
“Come on my house is big enough for a birthday party,” Yoongi says. “And it’s Jimin’s special day after all”
“All right,” Seokjin says. “We can definitely do that”
“Great, we will make sure Jimin has the best birthday party ever,” Yoongi says.
Yoongi notices Jimin looking at him.
“Can I get a hug now?” Yoongi asks.
Jimin practically leaps out of his seat running up to Yoongi hugging him.
“Yoongi hyung, you are the best,” he says.
Yoongi chuckles as he kisses the top of Jimin’s head.
“Will you let us have ice cream?” Jungkook asks. “Dad said he will make ice creams from bananas but they are so yuck...I want real ice cream”
“I want chocolate chip pancakes,” Taehyung says excitedly. “Also whipped cream”
“Pancakes are for breakfast idiot,” Jimin says.
“Who said that?” Taehyung argues.
“Calm down,” Yoongi says. “Everyone will get anything they want”
Namjoon laughs as the boys chatter excitedly while hugging Yoongi.
“You are going to spoil these kids rotten,” Seokjin says. “Anyway, it’s dinner time I made some zucchini noodles”
“Eugh,” everyone says in unison.
“So, is your car fixed yet?” Hoseok asks.
“It fixed itself,” Yoongi answers.
“Really, how?” Hoseok asks.
“I don’t know,” Yoongi answers. “I guess I just got lucky”
“Mmhm, I suppose,” Hoseok says.
Hoseok doesn’t say anything much after that. He is very quiet, quieter than usual. Yoongi decides not to question it. He must not be in the mood to make small talk about the weather for 10 minutes like usual and Yoongi understands that.
Besides, Yoongi’s mind is dwelling on what gift he must buy for Jimin. It’s his birthday today and he is yet to buy a gift. There are so many toys to buy the kind he isn’t sure Seokjin would approve of but he is also torn if he should Jimin something like a puzzle or a book a choice that would make Seokjin proud for sure.
“Are you thinking about something Dr. Min?”
“Your forehead got all creased up,” Hoseok says. “You do that when you think”
“How do you know?”
“Just an observation,” Hoseok shrugs.
“Yeah, I was um thinking,” Yoongi says.
“What would be a good gift for an 8-year-old boy?” Yoongi asks.
Hoseok chuckles a bit.
“I think something like video games, nerf guns,” Hoseok says. “You know”
Hoseok leaves after his session without even saying a goodbye. He seems very preoccupied but Yoongi soon forgets about it as he gets into his work. He makes sure to leave work a little early practically dashing to the nearest toy store.
He looks to the rows and rows of toys most of which he has no idea what they even do when he sees a Nerf gun and decides that Jimin would love it a lot since it’s a popular toy.
Yoongi drives to his home with his gift tucked under his arm. The door is opened by a very panicked Seokjin.
“Oh my god,” he says. “There’s only half an hour left and I’m yet to decorate this side of the wall”
“Calm down,” Yoongi says. “I will help you”
Yoongi picks up the festoons and begins decorating under Seokjin’s distressed instructions as he keeps running into the kitchen to check on his baked snacks.
“Oh my god the cake,” he says. “When will Namjoon get here?”
“He will be here soon, don’t worry,”
“He is also supposed to pick up Taehyung and Jungkook,” Seokjin says. “I think something is burning”
Seokjin rushes into the kitchen.
“What about Jimin?” Yoongi asks.
“His teacher said he would get him here,” Seokjin says. “That was so nice of him”
“Oh...okay,” Yoongi says as he goes back to decorating and he is finished soon enough. The doorbell rings and Yoongi navigates through the balloons on the floor with great difficulty to open the door. It’s Namjoon with the two kids who dash inside.
Yoongi catches them to make sure they don’t mess up the decorations and hands them some candies to keep them occupied.
Namjoon heads to the kitchen with the cake when the doorbell rings again and it’s the first guest for the night. Soon enough more kids arrive with their parents but there is no sign of Jimin yet.
“When will Jimin come?” Yoongi asks.
“I called his teacher; they’re only five minutes away,”
Sometime later they hear the door open and everyone hides behind the furniture. When the door opens Namjoon hits the lights and everyone screams ‘Surprise’
The wide grin on Jimin’s face is hard to miss but Yoongi’s eyes can hardly move away from Hoseok who is holding Jimin’s hand smiling and just then his eyes meet Yoongi’s. He waves grinning and Yoongi smiles back looking away immediately.
Seokjin brings out the cake. Everyone gathers around and sings ‘Happy Birthday’ for Jimin and Yoongi’s heart warms up seeing Jimin so happy. He is glad they could celebrate his birthday without any more problems. Jimin cuts the cake and Namjoon bursts open a party popper unsuccessfully making everyone including Yoongi burst out in laughter. Seokjin looks annoyed but at least all the kids seem to love the clumsy awkwardness of Namjoon.
Seokjin brings out the snacks and Yoongi helps him when Hoseok bumps into him.
“Dr. Min,” he says.
“Hoseok,” Yoongi says. “I didn’t know you were coming”
“How could I miss my favorite student’s birthday?” Hoseok says before he leans in closer. “Don’t tell Jimin I said that”
Yoongi chuckles a bit.
“Need help with that?” Hoseok asks looking at Yoongi’s hands preoccupied with two bowls of pretzels and juice bottle tucked under his arm.
“I am fine...,”
“Come on I don’t mind,” Hoseok says taking the bowls in his hand and places them on the tables. Yoongi watches Namjoon being a total hit with the kids and he is certainly enjoying the attention.
When all the snacks are served Seokjin goes to the living room to organize some games for the children and since the place is all a chaos Yoongi goes to the kitchen but not before taking away four of his antique artifacts on the mantelpiece and a lone picture of him and Jihyo.
“Dr. Min, are you not enjoying the party?” he hears Hoseok’s voice.
“Ah, I’d rather stay here away from all the chaos,” Yoongi answers.
“Me too,” Hoseok says quietly taking a seat on one of the chairs on the dining table. Yoongi notices him eyeing the picture of him and Jihyo that is lying on the dining table.
“By the way,” Hoseok says. “You have a really nice house”
“Uh um thanks,” Yoongi chuckles. “How...do you know this is my house?”
“Jimin kept going on about how his ‘Yoongi hyung’ saved his birthday by being the host of the party,” Hoseok says. “Oh and also why would a photo of you and your ex-wife be somewhere that is not your house”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything to that and just sips from a glass of fruit juice he is holding.
“Do you want something to drink too?” he asks Hoseok.
“Do you have any beer?” Hoseok asks.
“I don’t think you should be drinking beer...,” Yoongi begins.
“Come on what did a little beer ever do to anyone,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi doesn’t even know why he gives in but he is already in front of the fridge taking out two cans of beers each. He sits down in front of Hoseok sliding him the can.
“Have you been drinking a lot?” Yoongi asks.
“Relax, Dr. Min,” Hoseok says. “I’ve never been much of a drinker...and I never touched alcohol once after being diagnosed”
“That’s good,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok opens the can and takes a long sip setting down the can.
“I just feel kind of shit today,” Hoseok says. “And I really needed a fucking beer.
“Nothing, I’m just kind of sad,” Hoseok says.
“Yoongi hyung,” Yoongi hears Jimin’s loud voice.
“Hey buddy,” Yoongi says.
Jimin pulls down Yoongi and puts a party hat on his head.
“Why aren’t you coming out to the party?” he says. “I want you to meet a friend”
“I’ll be right there okay just wait...,”
Jimin, however, drags on to Yoongi until he has no choice but to go out. He looks back at Hoseok who just smiles a little at him before going back to sipping his beer.
Yoongi meets all of Jimin’s friends and their parents and they all make atrocious small talk that he only wishes he could escape. They compliment his style and the very modern and pastel aesthetic of the colors of his walls. They are in trend now. Yoongi couldn’t give two shits if he was being honest. The only reason he has this decor is he refuses to move on.
He is particularly grateful when slowly the people start leaving one by one. He doesn’t understand how Seokjin and Namjoon aren’t tired from giving to their regards to each one of them until finally, they all leave and by all Yoongi realizes that Hoseok already left and he didn’t even notice.
“When did Ho...I mean Mr. Jung Jimin’s teacher leave?”
“Oh a while ago,” Seokjin answers. “He said he had some errands to run”
Jungkook has already fallen asleep on the sofa and Taehyung is helping Jimin unwrap his gifts. Yoongi hands him his and Jimin squeals in excitement and it fades away as soon as the gift is opened.
“You don’t like it?”
“I love it,” Jimin says. “But I already got this today”
“Really...who gave it to you?”
“Mr. Jung, my teacher,” he says.
“It’s okay...,” Jimin says. “Now that we have two guns we can fight each other...”
Yoongi tunes out of the conversation soon after his thoughts on Hoseok for no apparent reason. Maybe he is just worried about Hoseok mentioning his sad. Is Hoseok possibly depressed? Depression in cancer patients is not uncommon at all and maybe Hoseok is prey to that feeling of utter hopelessness that comes after a diagnosis. It’s a weird transition to witness the always bubbly and quirky Hoseok to see distressed but then Yoongi thinks back to the morning in and how even then Hoseok seemed very off...
Is an intervention due? Hoseok thinks to himself.
“You okay?” Seokjin asks as he comes into the living room.
Seokjin just nods.
“You and Mr. Jung,” Seokjin says.
“What about him?”
“You two seem to know each other very well,” Seokjin says in a casual tone.
“He came in the hospital when I was on clinic duty,” Yoongi says.
“Is that all?”
“Mmhm,” Yoongi says. “You should leave now...it’s getting late”
“No, we’ll help you clean up,” Seokjin says.
“Yeah, hyung there’s a lot of mess,” Namjoon chimes in. “We’ll clean it up”
“It’s nothing...it’s fine I can manage you two get home now,” Yoongi says. “The kids are tired”
Taehyung is already dozing off in the huge pile of wrapping paper around him.
“All right,” Seokjin says.
Namjoon carefully picks up Jungkook and Seokjin gets all the gifts. Taehyung and Yoongi say their sleepy goodbyes to Yoongi.
“Thanks for everything Yoongi,” Seokjin says.
“Thank you Yoongi hyung,” Namjoon smiles.
“It’s no big deal guys,” Yoongi says. “Get home safely...good night”
Yoongi closes the door. He stifles a yawn. He is beyond tired as he heads to his bedroom and falls asleep soon right after.
Yoongi wakes up early in the morning. He doesn’t feel well rested at all and there is a whole messy house to clean that he almost regrets rejecting Seokjin and Namjoon’s help yesterday.
He takes a quick shower and puts some bread to toast before he starts clearing out the nearly deflated balloons, and remove the banners from the walls when he hears a loud bang from outside of his door.
Yoongi decides to check what the source of noise is. He opens the door and Jung Hoseok is literally the last person he expects to see.
He is on the floor his hands around a huge cardboard box.
“Hoseok...,” Yoongi says. “What are you doing here?”
“I am moving next door...,” Hoseok says.
“What?” Yoongi practically yells out.
“You didn’t even tell me when you were here yesterday....,”
“Ah, must have slipped my mind,” Hoseok chuckles a little. “I am very forgetful sometimes”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything instead just staring at him.
“Would...you...help me?” Hoseok asks.
“Uh of course,” Yoongi says holding his hand out for him. Hoseok takes his hand standing up and then stumbles again falling but Yoongi catches hold of him.
“Thank you for catching me,” Hoseok smiles a little before he moves away.
Yoongi instinctively bends down and picks up the very heavy box handing it to Hoseok.
“Um thank you for helping me,” Hoseok says. “I’m in a bit of hurry...you know..got to make it to a doctor’s appointment”
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Yoongi heaves a huge sigh of relief as he lunges in the last cardboard box all of them so heavy Yoongi is convinced Jung Hoseok has filled them with nothing but rocks.
Now, Yoongi isn't required to help Hoseok but he does anyway. Yoongi isn't sure if he is helping Hoseok because he is well...Hoseok.
He isn't really sure he would extend that kind of courtesy to just anyone.
But Hoseok is his patient, his cancer patient no less and there is no reason for him to carry around heavy boxes in his condition. Or he is doing it because he just likes Hoseok.
And so Yoongi spends about 20 minutes carrying every box inside Hoseok's flat.
"Thank you so much, Dr. Min," Hoseok says."You have no idea how long it would have taken me to carry all this inside"
"It's fine," Yoongi says. "But why didn't you get someone to help you"
"That's because I couldn't find anyone on such a short notice," Hoseok says. "I wasn't supposed to move till tomorrow but my landlord had a little change of plans and I had to move today"
"Oh," Yoongi says. "Is there anything more I can do for you?"
"No, but I'm not going to let you go just like that after all you did for me," Hoseok says. "I mean the least I could do is make you some breakfast.
" There is no need...," Yoongi begins.
"Oh, but there is," Hoseok says. "I promise you I make really good omelettes"
"Fine," Yoongi gives in and smiles at Hoseok.
Hoseok grins at him before he bends down among the boxes and opens the one titled 'Kitchen stuff'
He pulls out a pan, a bowl and a toaster.
"You really don't have to go through the trouble...,"
"Who says it's trouble?" Hoseok asks as he goes to the kitchen. "I like cooking"
Yoongi realizes it's no use arguing with Hoseok as he just stands around watching Hoseok crack eggs into a bowl humming a song to himself.
Yoongi can't stop the smile forming on his face.
"Do you like mushrooms in your omelette?"
"I suppose," Yoongi answers.
"Too bad I don't have them right now," Hoseok says.
Yoongi chuckles a little.
"But, I'll keep that in mind for future," Hoseok says. "What about spinach?"
"Not so much," Yoongi says.
"Would you mind grabbing two plates and forks from that box over there?" Hoseok asks.
"Sure," Yoongi says and takes out the plates and forks handing them to Hoseok.
Hoseok places an omelette in each of their plates and two pieces of toast.
"Sorry, this is the best I could whip up," he says.
"I'm sure it's delicious," Yoongi says.
"I don't have the furniture set up yet," Hoseok says with a frown. "We have to use the floor"
"It's all right," Yoongi says as they sit down on the floor.
He takes a bite of the omelette and it's delicious as he expected, simple but full of flavour.
"Do you like it?"
"A lot," Yoongi says. "It's really good"
Hoseok smiles at him.
"Aw thank you," Hoseok says. "I haven't cooked for anyone since University I think"
Yoongi nods as he finishes his omelette and toast.
"Thanks a lot for the breakfast Hoseok," Yoongi says.
"I should be the one thanking you for carrying all those heavy boxes"
"It's no big deal," Yoongi says. "Anyway, I um will see you at...the hospital"
"Uh yeah," Hoseok says.
Yoongi leaves Hoseok's flat feeling happy for some strange reason.
He finishes cleaning his own decorations as fast as he could because he is late for work beyond measure.
Once, he is done Yoongi heads downstairs and gets into his car and for a second looks for Hoseok or his car both of which are missing.
He must be still organising everything or he must have already left for the hospital.
Yoongi starts his own car and leaves the building when he sees Hoseok standing on the pavement waving his arms calling for a taxi but two taxis drive by.
Yoongi drives up to him and rolls down his window.
"Why are you waiting for a taxi?"
"My car is at maintenance right now,"
Yoongi thinks about it for a second about if he should offer Hoseok a lift to the hospital because Hoseok gave him a lift once and how it's a generally nice thing to do but he almost feels nervous he asks.
"I um I can drop you," Yoongi says.
"You are too nice Dr Min," he says as he gets into the car.
Yoongi only smiles as he starts the car and Hoseok hums to the hip-hop music that is playing in the car.
"How cool is that my doctor listens to hip-hop music?" Hoseok says out loud.
Yoongi can't help but turn slightly red.
Hoseok doesn't say anything. The silence doesn't feel awkward but Yoongi has the urge to talk to Hoseok. It is weird because unlike many doctors Yoongi does not take any interest in his patients' personal lives. He doesn't ask any questions and when sometimes the patients are the one who initiate the talking Yoongi's monotone replies are enough to discourage them.
Maybe the newfound interest stems from the fact that Hoseok is his neighbour now. But Yoongi doesn't ever recall talking to his neighbours beyond any pleasantries exchanged once in a while. Yoongi realizes he didn't even notice that his old neighbours had moved out if Hoseok was moving in now.
"H...Hoseok," Yoongi says. "Why did you move out of your old place?"
"My lease was almost up and the owner wanted to sell the place," Hoseok answers."That guy didn't have one ounce of patience he basically kicked me out once he got a buyer.
"Sounds like a dick,"
"He is," Hoseok says. "A big one"
Yoongi laughs a little.
"Honestly, I used to think that Tokyo was expensive but Seoul is no less," Hoseok says.
"The rent is through the sky here"
"Tokyo? You used to live there"
"Yeah, my parents moved us there when I was 4," Hoseok says. "I lived there until 2 years ago"
"Oh," Yoongi says a bit shocked by the new information. "So why did you choose Seoul?"
"Seemed like an interesting place," Hoseok shrugged. "And the dance scene here is great so I decided it was worth it"
"So, do you like it here then?"
"It feels like home," Hoseok answers with a smile.
“I’m glad you like it here,” Yoongi says.
They finally reach the hospital. Yoongi parks his car.
"Thanks so much for the ride Dr Min," Hoseok says.
"It's no problem," Yoongi says as they walk to the hospital.
Yoongi smiles at the few nurses that still seem to like him.
"Your girl is looking at you Dr Min," Hoseok says.
"Yeah...the one who fills the prescriptions"
Yoongi looks at Chaeyoung who immediately drops her gaze towards the writing pad she is holding.
"She is not my girl," Yoongi says.
"Yeah I know," Hoseok says. "I wanted to tell you that she was looking at you but I don't know her name"
They head to the lift and it's empty except for another doctor who smiles at Yoongi and Yoongi smiles back.
They finally stop at their floor.
"I'll be right back," Yoongi says.
Hoseok nods heading to the radiology and Yoongi goes to his office keeping his bag and clears out the desk that he was too tired to do yesterday.
He takes one last look at the blue wall clock before he goes out to the radiology.
He comes to see Hoseok chatting up with the nurse. It's not a new sight. The nurse and Hoseok always talk a lot and they are always smiling and laughing. Yoongi can only imagine what is so funny.
"Doc," Hoseok grins as he notices Yoongi.
Yoongi can only admire Hoseok's strength and will because he had never seen someone so bright and bubbly while going through one of the most physically and emotionally draining ordeals. Jung Hoseok has immeasurable courage.
Yoongi carries out his treatment and it ends with a very impatient Hoseok complaining how he is already so late and that the students must be waiting for him.
"Don't stress yourself out too much," Yoongi says.
"Don't worry Doc," Hoseok says. "I'll be fine"
Yoongi doesn't say anything as Hoseok walks off but he worries a little, a little too much for just another patient.
The rest of the day passes by just like that for Yoongi only at lunchtime he gets a call from Seokjin.
"So, Namjoon had a day off today," Seokjin said into the phone. "And we decided to look for places for my bakery"
"Oh, and how did it go?"
"It went good," Seokjin answered. "I found two places I liked and they are quite close to home"
"That's great," Yoongi said. "I'm so happy for you"
"Yeah, I hope it works out," Seokjin said. "I'm scared"
"Don't be," Yoongi said. "It'll be a success"
"Well, I hope," Seokjin laughed nervously. "Anyway, I saw Jihyo today"
Yoongi's heart skipped a beat.
"And?" Yoongi asked.
"Nothing, she was out with her new man,"
"Sungjae," Yoongi quickly blurted out.
"You know his name?" Seokjin asked.
"Uh, huh I met them a while back"
"You met them?!" Seokjin almost yelled.
"I mean I bumped into them at the grocery store," Yoongi said.
"You didn't even tell me,"
"It must have slipped my mind, " Yoongi said. "Sorry"
"It doesn't matter," Seokjin said. "You shouldn't care what that whore does"
"Hyung..." Yoongi began.
"The last thing I need to hear is you trying to tell me that I should forgive her...don't try me"
Yoongi only sighed.
"How's Jimin?" Yoongi asked trying to change the subject. "Did he like yesterday's birthday party?"
"He is very happy and I know you are trying to change the subject Yoongi"
"Um, talk to you later hyung," Yoongi said. "Something important just came up, bye,"
Yoongi hung up with a sigh. Talking to Seokjin about Yoongi could be a real chore.
After a long day at work, he finally heads home.
When Yoongi reaches the door of his flat he takes one last glance at Hoseok's flat which is locked. He mustn’t have reached home yet.
Yoongi decides to take a shower because he feels like it and spends a good time in there under the hot water.
He changes into a T-shirt and shorts and dries his hair with a towel when the doorbell starts ringing.
Yoongi sighs loudly wondering who could be at such an ungodly hour and more importantly why.
With slow steps, Yoongi goes to the door and opens it to find Hoseok.
"I am sorry to bother you Doc but do you know anything about furniture?"
And that's how Yoongi finds himself in Hoseok's flat poring over a guide on how to fix a bed.
"You're a literal angel Dr Min," Hoseok says as he hands Yoongi a glass of coke before he sits down beside Yoongi.
"It's not a big deal," Yoongi says as he sips on the coke.
"Still, I wouldn't know what to do without you," Hoseok says. "I am not the handiest guy out there"
"You don't have to worry," Yoongi says. “I am good at this”
“How manly,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi turns a bit red as he tries to read the instruction on the papers before he grabs the screwdriver and begins fastening the screws on the legs of the bed.
“How did you even learn to do all this?” Hoseok asks.
“My father used to say that it’s necessary for every man to know how to fix and assemble things,” Yoongi says. “So I learned all that from him”
“Yeah,” Yoongi says.
“And here I am being the perfect gay stereotype of not knowing how to do the man stuff,” Hoseok says with a snort.
Yoongi looks at him with a surprised expression on his face.
“You’re gay?” he asks.
“Oh,” Yoongi says.
“Are you surprised?” Hoseok asks.
“Yeah, a bit I mean,”
“Really? I thought the skinny jeans were a dead giveaway,” Hoseok asks. “If not then the fact that I dance...like that is a gay stereotype right there”
Yoongi laughs a little.
“You don’t mind that I’m gay right,” Hoseok says.
“My best friend is gay,” Yoongi says. “Why would I have any problem?”
“I know I know, I am only kidding,” Hoseok says.
Yoongi nods as he looks over at the instructions again and then works on the bed. Hoseok is sitting beside him just watching Yoongi and it does feel a bit awkward for Yoongi who fumbles around with the wooden pieces.
“Now, I kinda wish my dad taught me to be handy as well,” Hoseok says. “Instead we only went fishing and I still can’t catch a fish properly”
“Fishing sounds fun,” Yoongi says.
“It was...a lot actually,” Hoseok says his voice sounding sad.
Yoongi can sense the tension in the air. He is surprisingly no stranger to Hoseok’s situation.
“I wish my father took me for fishing trips,” Yoongi says in an attempt to diffuse the tension.
“Is learning how to fix things not fun enough?”
“Barely,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok chuckles a little.
“You know, I kind of know why I never got to actually learn fishing,” Hoseok says. “My dad didn’t know fishing himself...we only got catch twice...my dad always used to say that’s because there are no fishes left...I remember how happy my mother got when we brought the fish home she made us grilled fish”
Yoongi smiles at Hoseok who has a far-off look on his face while he smiles too.
“That sounds great,” Yoongi says as he screws the bedpost to the bed.
“I really miss my mother’s cooking sometimes,” Hoseok says. “Even when I was at Uni...”
Yoongi only nods.
“Don’t you miss your mother’s cooking?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything. His heart feels particularly heavy. He doesn’t like to think about it too much but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Yoongi doesn’t even realizes and he drops the screwdriver on his foot wincing in pain when it lands on his foot.
“You okay doc?”
“Yeah...yeah,” Yoongi says picking up the screwdriver.
“Honestly I miss her spicy stew the most,” Hoseok says. “What is your favourite dish your mother made?”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything and notices the prominent frown on Hoseok’s face.
“Is everything okay Dr Min?” he asks.
Yoongi doesn’t react.
“My mother’s dead Hoseok,” Yoongi finally says. “She died giving birth to me...I never got to taste her cooking”
Hoseok’s expression changes immediately and there is dead silence as Yoongi continues with his work.
“I am sorry Dr Min,” Hoseok says after a while. “I am really sorry”
“It’s okay,” Yoongi says.
“I should have known better...I kept pestering you with questions,” Hoseok says. “How stupid of me”
“It’s not your fault,” Yoongi says. “How were you supposed to know? You just asked a question”
Hoseok only nods as he gnaws on his lips, he looks guilty.
“I did like my father’s shrimp rice,” Yoongi says after some time. “That was only when he wanted to cook and was in a good mood”
There is a hint of a smile on Hoseok’s face.
“My father could also make mean eggs,” Yoongi says. “But he only made them on Sundays...every day other than that was cereal day”
“So, your father raised you?”
“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “He raised me all by his own...he never even remarried”
“Oh, that’s very nice of him,”
“He didn’t remarry because of me,” Yoongi says. “He loved my mother too much...he still does”
Hoseok doesn’t say anything for some time.
“Well, I guess we have a lot more in common than we thought,” he says.
Yoongi only smiles as he finally finishes fixing the bed.
“There, all done,” Yoongi says.
“What would I have done without you?” Hoseok says.
“Slept on the floor?”
“Definitely,” Hoseok says. “Both me and my back thank you”
“Well, now that you have done for so much, it’s only fair that dinner’s on me,” Hoseok says.
“You really don’t have to keep cooking for me,” Hoseok says. “As sweet as it is of you to do”
“Who said I’ll be cooking?” Hoseok asks. “I’m not...especially not after organizing all day. We can get something to eat”
“Uh um all right,” Yoongi says.
“Great,” he says picking up the phone. “What would you like to eat Doc?”
“I um anything is fine, really,”
Hoseok sighs a little.
“All right then,” Hoseok says as he calls the restaurant ordering the food. Yoongi looks around the sparsely decorated house. There are a lot of trophies here and there and pictures on the mantelpiece of Hoseok with a man and a woman right from his kindergarten days up until he is a grown up. Hoseok is smiling but it’s a different kind of smile. Hoseok’s eyes disappear into the smile little dimples showing on the side in each one of them.
“Don’t tell me you are looking at my baby pictures,” he says.
“Uh yeah,” Yoongi says awkwardly scratching his head.
“They are embarrassing,” Hoseok says.
“You were cute...I mean you are...I mean yeah you were a cute kid”
Hoseok laughs out loud.
“Thanks,” he says.
Hoseok walks off again and proceeds to pick up the mattress to put it on the bed. Yoongi rushes to help him lay the mattress on the bed.
“Thank you again, Dr. Min,”
“You know...you can call me just Yoongi,” Yoongi says. “Since we are neighbours and stuff now...Dr. Min seems a bit too formal’
“Okay, then Just Yoongi it is...,”
Yoongi chuckles a little.
“Yoongi...,” Hoseok says. “Suits you a lot better than Dr Min”
Yoongi smiles a little as he feels the similar sense of happiness the kind he has not felt in a long time.
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
I know it has been over a year...well 14 months to be exact since I updated. If anyone is even reading this fic anymore I would like to apologize for being so terrible at updating. No, I have not abandoned my fics.
This is no excuse but the previous year has been quite a ride for me. I started a new year in my course and I didn't anticipate how I would have no time left to write basically because I was always either in class or studying the past year or dealing with something personal. On top of that, I have multiple fics that needed updating and not just this particular one so I ended up neglecting writing even though I love writing so much simply because I couldn't make the time to write anymore and a lot of it is to blame to my terrible time managment.
I just finished giving exams this month and I finally have managed to get some free time to start writing and get to updating my fics again.
If you have somehow managed to still stick around and wait for an update I thank you and I will promise not to delay updating ever for this long. I will be updating regularly as I have the time now.
Thank you for reading! <3
As Yoongi drives back home his thoughts are once again clouded with Hoseok's.
He stops at the red light drumming his hands on the steering wheel when he hears the phone ringing.
It's Seokjin. Yoongi picks up putting it on speaker.
“Hyung,” he says.
“Hello Yoongi,” Seokjin says.
“I need you to do me a favour,” Seokjin says.
“What is it?”
“Namjoon and I are going to visit some places for the bakery thing,” Seokjin says. “Can I drop off the kids with you?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yoongi says. “Sure”
“I’ll bake you gluten free dairy free chocolate chips cookies for this,” Seokjin says.
“Also. those fudge ones hung,” Yoongi says. “They are the best”
“Anything you want,” Seokjin promises.
“I’m just getting home,” he says.
“Oh, all right I'm coming with the kids,” Seokjin says. “See you later”
Yoongi hangs up. The red light is finally green as hell drives back to his home.
When Yoongi reaches his flat he changes out of his clothes and makes himself a cup of coffee.
Seokjin shows up 15 minutes later with the kids in tow. They all run inside immediately settling themselves on Yoongi's couch.
“Listen, guys, don’t trouble Yoongi hyung too much,” he says.
“They’re good kids,” Yoongi says a fond smile towards them. “Don’t worry”
“I packed dinners for all of them,” Seokjin says. “You just need to microwave them, no junk food no sugar they get too hyper”
“Hyung,” Yoongi says. “This isn’t my first time looking after them all right”
“Yes, and lastly no horror movies...Jungkook always gets nightmares”
“Dad that was only once,” comes Jungkook's whiney voice.
“You slept with us for one week after that,” Seokjin says while Jungkook grumbles incoherently in the background.
“Fine,” Yoongi says his hand on Seokjin's shoulder. “Now get going you're gonna be late”
“Yeah...yeah and make sure their brush...,”
With that Yoongi closes the door heaving a huge sigh of relief.
“You guys' dad is a piece of work,” he says.
The boys all seem to agree as they nod.
“Anyway, who wants tortilla chips?” Yoongi asks.
There is a loud noise that can only be interpreted as a yes. Yoongi goes to his kitchen and gets a huge bag of tortilla chips and salsa.
The kids all seem content with eating and watching the animated movie Yoongi has put on for them.
While Yoongi gets chores done around the house like his piling laundry that needs imminent washing and drying, his dishwasher that needs to be unloaded. His clothes that need to be folded and arranged his wardrobe.
The kids are hooked in the movie so Yoongi doesn’t have much trouble doing his chores except when he has to break up the fight between Taehyung and Jungkook over the chips but Yoongi the greatest uncle in the world is there with a new packet of tortilla chips ready.
Just when Yoongi finishes wiping the kitchen countertop and puts some water to boil for his green tea he hears the doorbell.
“I'll get it,” he says and heads to open the door.
“Hello, Yoongi,” he smiles.
“Oh, hi,” Yoongi says.
“Would you mind?”
Hoseok is holding out what looks like a jar of green olives in front of him.
“Would you mind opening it?”
“Yeah sure,” Yoongi says as he takes the jar and tries to open it. It's tight but Yoongi applies all his force.
“HOSEOK-NIM,” Yoongi hears Jimin's shrill voice as the boy runs past his legs and immediately wraps his body around Hoseok's legs.
“Jimin,” Hoseok says in an equally enthusiastic voice bending down and ruffling the boy’s hair.
“What are you doing here?” Jimin asks
“I live here,” Hoseok answers. “Well, next door”
“YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR,”
“Yeah, I do,”
“Yoongi hyung never told me,” Jimin says looking at Yoongi with accusatory eyes.
“I forgot Jimin,” Yoongi says.
“Well, what are you doing here?” Hoseok asks.
“Dad dropped us off,” Jimin babbles. “He has work to do...so Yoongi hyung has been looking after me and my brothers”
“Tae and Kookie have always wanted to meet you,” Jimin says as he takes Hoseok by his hand inside.
“Jimin...I'm sure Hoseok hyung must have better things to do...he can meet them some other time”
“Oh, it's okay,” Hoseok says to Yoongi. “I have nothing important to do”
Yoongi watches Jimin drag Hoseok inside the living room while Yoongi heads inside the kitchen to turn off the stove of the water and goes back into the living room.
He finds Hoseok busy with the kids instead and cheering on for Jimin who is putting up an impromptu performance in the living room.
“Yoongi come on here,” Hoseok says in a cheery voice.
Yoongi walks in and sits on the arm of the sofa watching Jimin move to the sound of a popular song blasting from Hoseok's phone.
His eyes are also on Hoseok who is enjoying a wide smile on his face as he claps for Jimin while Taehyung has conveniently rested on his lap.
Hoseok notices Yoongi staring at him and Yoongi feels himself getting flustered as Hoseok smiles at him, so he just smiles back.
Jimin stops dancing, huffing a little and everyone starts clapping.
“Great job, Jimin,” Hoseok says ruffling his hair as Jimin comes closer. “You have improved so much”
Jimin was giving Hoseok an ear to ear smile.
“And you have mastered that one move,” Hoseok says.
“I practised a lot,” Jimin says.
“At this rate, you’re gonna start competing in competitions in no time”
“Really?” Jimin asks shocked.
Hoseok nods smiling at him.
“Did you like it Yoongi hyung?” Jimin asks Yoongi.
“I loved it,” Yoongi says. “You are so good at dancing Jiminie”
“Thank you,” Jimin beamed at him hugging Yoongi
Hoseok shoots a smile at Yoongi.
“Well then I think I should get going,” Hoseok says.
“Are you leaving so soon?” Jimin asks.
“Yeah, your teacher must be busy,” Yoongi explains.
Jimin frowns at both of the adults.
Hoseok sighs giving in.
“I can stay for a little while,” Hoseok says. "I guess"
Jimin grins at Hoseok.
“I have been teaching Taehyung all the dance moves too,”
“That’s really great Jimin,” Hoseok says.
“Yeah, Tae why don’t you show everyone?”
Taehyung who is now seated on the sofa slowly nods his head no looking very shy. Jimin pouts.
“Come on,” Jimin says grabbing hold of Taehyung’s arm.
Taehyung shyly takes to the centre of the room his eyes darting from everyone’s faces before he starts to dance.
He is good or so Yoongi can tell from his highly limited experience of dancing. He had danced at his wedding though. Yoongi doesn’t think he can ever forget the harrowing experience of having to attend dance rehearsals four times a week. It was Jihyo’s wish of course so Yoongi obliged just like he always did.
After the ordeal of over a month of rehearsals, the big day had finally come and Yoongi was so proud he hadn’t stepped on Jihyo’s toes even once on that evening.
Yoongi winces just a little at the memory of him dancing with Jihyo. His mind really conjures up anything at any time. His train of thoughts breaks only when he hears loud enthusiastic applause from everyone.
Taehyung has finished dancing and he shyly smiles at the approval he has gained. Yoongi claps too.
“Wow, Tae you are quite a talented young man,” Hoseok says.
Taehyung is practically beaming up making Yoongi smile as well. Hoseok has a way with kids and the way he encourages them. It is heartwarming to watch. Any kid would be lucky to have him as a teacher.
He watches all the kids attentively listening to Hoseok talk to them about dancing even Jungkook is listening.
Yoongi glances at the clock and it’s already dinner time for the kids.
“Hey kids,” Yoongi says. “It’s time for dinner”
“Oh,” Jimin sighs.
“I’ll get your dinners heated up. Come on get to the dinner table,”
“Ah, I guess that’s my cue to leave,” Hoseok says.
“But…but,” Jimin begins.
“Jimin,” Yoongi says. “I’m sure your teacher has a lot of important things to tend to”
“I know…but can he stay at least…till dinner…just for once,” Taehyung says
Yoongi looks at Hoseok who shrugs.
“I guess…,” Hoseok says.
“To make the kids happy,” he adds with a smile looking at Yoongi.
Yoongi doesn’t know why exactly even he is excited about the prospect of Jung Hoseok staying a little longer.
“All right,” he smiles.
The kids look quite happy as they excitedly bicker about something.
“I’ll uh get dinner ready then,” Yoongi says.
“Do you need any help with that?” Hoseok asks standing up.
“Oh, that’s all right I got it,”
“Are you sure cause I can help…?”
“Yeah, you can just stay with the kids they seem to like you more anyway,” Yoongi says
“Hey that isn’t true,” Hoseok says. “You are their uncle”
“I know,” Yoongi says. “I was just kidding”
Hoseok smiles a little.
“I’ll be uh right back,” Yoongi says going into the kitchen.
He sticks the kids’ dinner into the microwave and looks over into his fridge to see that he has basically nothing to cook for Hoseok.
Most days Yoongi manages with frozen meals, takeout. He rarely cooks proper meals but now that Hoseok is over for dinner it is quite embarrassing to look at the bare fridge.
Yoongi hears a loud bang and is startled.
“I um I’m sorry…,” Hoseok says. “I was just looking for the bathroom…”
“Oh, it’s right next to the bedroom,”
“All right um thanks,” Hoseok says before walking off.
Yoongi closes the fridge with a sigh. Maybe he should call for a pizza or something…
“Hey um Doctor Min…Yoongi I mean,” Hoseok says appearing again. “You don’t have to cook or anything I’m sure me suddenly inviting myself for dinner has caused you unnecessary trouble…”
“Oh no no it’s fine I’m already cooking something,” Yoongi says.
Hoseok smiles at him
“Thank you,” he says.
Yoongi just smiles back as he watches Hoseok go.
He spots the loaf of bread he had bought yesterday on the pantry.
Yoongi finally has an idea of what to make.
“You know grilled cheese is probably my favourite food in the entire world,” Hoseok says.
“Oh, is it?” Yoongi asks with a chuckle.
Hoseok just nods biting down on the sandwich.
“I wish we could have grilled cheese,” Jungkook says twirling pasta around his fork.
“I already gave you guys tortilla chips,” Yoongi says. “God knows that your dad will be pissed if I fed you all grilled cheese for dinner”
Hoseok just listens.
“My best friend- their dad,” Yoongi explains. “Huge health nut”
“Yeah…it’s good in a way,” Yoongi says. “He’ll outlive us all”
“Definitely gonna outlive me,” Hoseok says taking a sip of his water.
Yoongi pauses looking at Hoseok before looking at kids who are all thankfully poring over their I-pad instead of listening to their conversation.
“I’m sorry I…,” Hoseok begins. “It was inappropriate”
There is a long pause.
“It’s just how I cope,” Hoseok says. “I have had a terrible sense of humour”
“It doesn’t have to be true you know,” Yoongi says.
“With the amazing technology, we have the survival rates have gone up so much you won’t…,”
“That’s all right Yoongi you don’t have to reassure me about anything trust me,” Hoseok says. “I am doing fine…I have made my peace with it”
“Peace with what?” Jimin interrupts.
“Peace with the fact that I might never be as much of a great cook as your uncle Yoongi right here,” Hoseok says. “This is really good”
Jimin laughs and Yoongi smiles at him.
He tries to finish his dinner but his appetite has completely left him as he thinks about what he just did. He never gives false hope. It is cruel and he knows that better than anyone else and yet he had caught himself reassuring Yoongi almost instinctively. He doesn’t understand why he did it.
They all finish dinner and the kids have managed to rope in Hoseok to stay a bit longer for ice cream. Yoongi doesn’t even try to protest as he brings out bowls of strawberry ice cream.
“Another favourite,” Hoseok says. “You get me very well Dr…Yoongi,”
Yoongi just smiles at him.
Yoongi puts the animated movie again for the kids and they watch it together along with Hoseok but after about 20 minutes in they all slowly fall asleep.
Jimin right on Hoseok’s lap.
“I’m so sorry on behalf of the kids,” Yoongi says in a low voice careful not to wake up the kids. “They ruined your evening making you stay here”
“Ruined? Pfft I mean they didn’t chain me or anything…,” Hoseok says running his hands through Jimin’s hair. “Though I don’t doubt Jimin would have chained me to make me stay…I stayed back because I wanted to”
“I like kids,” Hoseok says. “Always have”
Yoongi smiles at him.
“Besides It gets lonely in the apartment sometimes…,” Hoseok says.
“Oh, I know it does,” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, this evening was nice,” Hoseok says. “I feel very happy”
“I’m glad you do,” Yoongi smiles.
Hoseok smiles as he continues to ruffle Jimin’s hair who is in deep sleep. Hoseok moves a bit and Jimin stirs immediately but settles again.
“Should I take him off your lap…?”
“Oh no,” Hoseok says. “It’s fine”
Yoongi stays put.
“I have always wanted to be a father,” Hoseok says suddenly. “Always”
“I just knew that I would be a great father,” he continues. "Like I had it in me or something"
Yoongi doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know if anything he says would make Hoseok feel even the slightest bit better so he just stays silent. Because he knows Hoseok might never get the chance of being a father.
“What about you?”
“Have you always wanted to be a father too?”
“What makes you think that?” Yoongi asks.
“Well, you are really good with the kids,” Hoseok answers. “I have seen it,”
Yoongi stays silent for some time before he answers
Hoseok just looks at him.
“I didn’t want to be a father ever,” Yoongi answers. “Not until I met my wife anyway”
“She always wanted a kid…and whatever she wanted to be happy I was always ready to give to her”
Beside Yoongi Taehyung turns on his stomach before throwing his arm over Jungkook’s face and continues sleeping.
Hoseok smiles at Yoongi.
“You loved her that much?”
“More than I have ever loved anyone,” Yoongi says with a small smile.
Hoseok smiles again.
Just then the doorbell rings loudly. Both Hoseok and Yoongi immediately check at the kids to see if they have woken up but all the three are still sleeping.
Yoongi gets up and walks over to the door.
It’s Seokjin and Namjoon.
“Oh Yoongi, I’m so sorry we got a bit late,” Seokjin says. "The traffic..."
“It’s all right hyung,” Yoongi assures him as he opens the door.
“Are the kids…oh my god, it’s Mr Jung,” Seokjin says. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh hi, Mr Kim,” Hoseok bows a little right from his spot. “I just moved next door”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Seokjin says.
“Yeah, so I just decided to help uh Yoongi here with babysitting,” Hoseok says. “As a thank you for being such a wonderful neighbour”
“Actually uh…Jimin wanted him to stay here,”
Seokjin and Namjoon laugh.
Jimin who was sleeping peacefully till now slowly opened his eyes sitting up from Hoseok’s lap.
“Dad,” he calls out
Namjoon walks over to him.
“Come on bud let’s get you home,”
Jimin is half asleep as he stands up.
Seokjin and Namjoon take Taehyung and Jungkook in their arms.
“Thank you Yoongi for taking care of them,” Seokjin says.
“And you too Mr Jung,” Namjoon says.
“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Hoseok waives them off.
“I will bake you something as a thank you,” Seokjin says.
“Oh, that’s a good deal,” Hoseok says. “I have heard a lot about your baking today….just so you know I am allergic to peanuts”
“I’ll keep that in mind,”
“All right Yoongi we will get going then,” Namjoon says.
“Text me when you get home okay?” Yoongi says.
“We will,” Seokjin says as they leave.
“I um I’ll get going too,” Hoseok says. “It’s quite late…I have to get up early tomorrow”
“All right yeah,” Yoongi nods
Hoseok steps out of the house.
“Thanks for the dinner by the way,”
“Oh, it’s no big deal,”
“Good night Yoongi,” Hoseok says.
“Good night Hoseok,”
With that Hoseok enters his flat and Yoongi finally closes his own door feeling very empty suddenly. It’s probably because his house is not full of three very energetic kids.
Yoongi begins clearing up the trash because he knows that he will be not up to do it the next morning and definitely not in the evening when he will be all tired from work.
He dumps all the trash and goes into the living room to turn off the lights so he can finally fall asleep when he notices the jar of olives that Hoseok had brought along with him on the table still unopened.
Yoongi goes to the table and takes the jar in his hand trying to open it. He opens it swiftly on the first try. He closes the lid and places it on the table.
Yoongi looks at the jar of green olives and a big smile spreads on his face.