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fighting for peace

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Liv was fuming about what Lachlan had said about her and her family. So she stormed into Home Farm looking for Lachlan. She didn't even think about what she was doing. She just wanted to make him pay for everything he had said and all the hurtful comments he made. Lachlan wouldn't apologise and deep down Liv knew that. But it wasn't gonna end there. Lachlan walked out of the kitchen not shocked at Liv's sudden arrival by his facial expression he looked as if he was expecting Liv to come over.

"So what are you doing here then?" Lachlan says with a sly grin.

"Giving you a chance to apologise for what you said earlier" Liv said angrily.

"Well you're going to be waiting a long time then aren't you?" he states as he chuckles.

"I mean it Lachlan, I'm serious" Liv says wound up.

"What are you going to do kick me in the shins?" Lachlan replies as he walks away.

Lachlan tries to walk away but Liv stands in front of him.

"Get out of my way Liv" He says

"No, not until you apologise" Liv replies

"I mean it Liv, move, I'm serious" Lachlan says angrily

"No" Liv says as she cheekily smiles.

So he grabs her and throws her to the ground showing no emotion. Liv gets back up onto her feet. When he realises he turns around.

"See I knew it" Liv states proudly.

"Knew what?" Lachlan asks curiously.

"You are just a stupid pathetic little boy" Liv says as Lachlan grabs her and pins her up against the wall.

Liv tries to be strong but you could see the fear in her eyes.

"Get off" Liv says terrified "What are you doing?"

"Teaching you a lesson" Lachlan says smiling.

Lachlan holds her down as he rapes her. When he lets her go, she slides down the wall tears streaming down her face.

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"Teaching you a lesson"

Liv couldn't get those words out of her head. They kept repeating themselves in her mind. She couldn't sleep so she lays in her bed, staring into space. She couldn't just forget what happened. It wasn't as simple as that. Now she knows how Aaron felt, weak and powerless. It keeps replaying in her head, she should've been strong enough to stop it but he overpowered her so she wasn't. She feels as if she wasn't as strong as she thought she was. But she was, she just didn't know it yet.

Liv could barely pull herself out of bed. But she finally managed to get up and get dressed. She walked up to the mirror and looked at her reflection and hated what she saw. Her eyes started to water but she could control it. Liv walked down the stairs and grabbed her coat off the hook. She couldn't bare to see Aaron or Robert because they'd notice that something was wrong. She stood in the doorway terrified that she'd see Lachlan on her way to the bus stop. Liv put her hood up until she got on the bus. She sat at the back quiet as a mouse. When she got to school, she couldn't pay attention at all. She couldn't stop thinking of what happened which made it a very long day. She finally got home and isolated herself in her room and started staring into space again until someone knocked on her door.

"Yeah" Liv says, not in her normal tone. Robert walks into Liv's room.

"It's me" Robert replies "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" Liv lies.

"It's just you didn't say goodbye earlier so me and Aaron were worried" Robert says.

"Yeah sorry I didn't want to be late" Liv replies.

"Oh okay" Robert says "Are you hungry?"

"No I'm fine, thanks though" Liv states.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Robert says concerned.

"Yes I'm fine" Liv says "Why do you keep asking me that?"

"It's just for the past few days you've been a bit off" Robert replies.

"Honestly, I'm fine" Liv fibs knowing she isn't but can't bear to reveal the truth.

"Liv you know you can tell me and Aaron anything right?" Robert states.

"Yeah, of course I do" Liv replies.

Robert and Liv hug making Liv feel uncomfortable as it's breaking her apart that she can't tell him. It's funny of how much they hated each other at the beginning but they eventually learned to love each other. He was like a brother to her. Not like Aaron because nobody could compare to him. They had a special bond that could not be broken. But Robert was a close second. She knew he loved Aaron and that was enough for her. They were a little family and Liv didn't want to ruin that. No matter how much emotional pain she was going through. It wasn't worth ruining her family though.

Robert smiles at her before he leaves closing the door behind him. Liv hated lying to him but she didn't know what to do. It's not exactly easy to share is it? She just knew she couldn't tell them. It would break them both so she kept it to herself. She was good at keeping things to herself. She didn't like keeping it to herself but she had to. It's not something you can just come out with. If Aaron knew he would blame himself and Liv couldn't let that happen just because she was careless. It's one of the hardest things you can tell someone. She knows Aaron loves her and would anything for her and that's why she couldn't tell him. She loved him way too much to hurt him.

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Liv still couldn't sleep at night because every time she closed her eyes she remembers Lachlan hanging over her. She blames herself because if she hadn't of gone to Home Farm that night none this would have happened. She wouldn't be feeling weak and powerless all the time. She hates herself for letting this happen. All this time she thought she was strong and invincible. She was but she didn't feel like it. It was breaking her apart not being able to tell anyone. She feels dirty and disgusted all the time. As she lay awake in her bed she realises that her life is never going to be the same again. Time will pass but she'll never be able to forget what Lachlan did to her. It will haunt her for the rest of her life and that's what scares her the most.

At about 10am Liv gets a text from Gabby reminding her that they were meeting up later. Liv really didn't want to go out but if she didn't Gabby would get suspicious. So she got out of bed and got ready. She couldn't bare to look in the mirror. She didn't want to feel any worse then she already was. She hated herself so much it couldn't be described. She walked down the stairs and took a deep breath before she walking into the kitchen where she saw Aaron and Robert.

"Hey Liv" Aaron says as Liv walks in.

"Hey" Liv replies softly.

"You doing okay?" Robert says.

"Yeah" Liv says faking a smile.

"You hungry?" Aaron asks.

"No thanks" Liv states "I'm good"

"Are you going out with Gabby?" Robert asks.

"Yeah" Liv says.

"Can't pull you two apart can we?" Robert jokes.

"No you can't" Liv replies.

"Have fun" Robert says.

"Yeah I will" Liv lies.

"Bye" Aaron says.

"Bye" Liv says quietly.

She walks out and closes the kitchen door. She takes a heavy breath almost bursting into tears. She can't deal with the pain of lying to them because it's eating her up inside. All the pain she feels right now can't compare to the pain Aaron and Robert will have if she tells them. They'd blame themselves and Liv couldn't let that happen. She loved them too much to hurt them. When she left the house she was terrified of bumping into Lachlan or even seeing him. His face would bring her back to that night. So she put her hood up and walked over to the bus stop where she met Gabby. Gabby smiled at her and hugged her. It made Liv feel uncomfortable as she felt fragile especially with people touching her. But she didn't say anything. But Gabby noticed her facial expression.

"Are you okay Liv?" Gabby asks concerned.

"Can everyone stop asking me if I'm okay?" Liv snaps "Sorry"

"What's wrong?" Gabby says.

"Nothing" Liv replies.

"Let's go to the cricket pavilion we can talk there" Gabby suggests.

"If you want" Liv replies.

When they got to cricket pavilion they sat on the steps outside in complete silence. Gabby didn't know what to say as she'd never seen Liv like this before.

"Liv tell me what's wrong? Gabby says.

"Nothing's wrong" Liv states.

"I know you're lying" Gabby says.

"It's...it's just" Liv stutters "It's just I haven't been feeling well lately"

"Okay do you want to go home we can hang out another time" Gabby says.

"Yeah thanks" Liv replies.

When Liv gets home she goes through the back door and Chas comes in through the kitchen.

"Hey Liv?" Chas says.

"Yeah" Liv replies bluntly.

"Can you bring me down your dirty clothes?" Chas asks.

"Okay" Liv says.

Liv walks up the stairs into her room. When she goes in she walks towards a pile of dirty clothes. She bends down to pick them up and the clothes she wore on the day that Lachlan raped her. Liv could still smell his aftershave on them causing her to run to the bathroom. She opens the toilet seat and starts vomiting heavily. When she stops she sits down against the wall and starts crying uncontrollably.

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She wakes up in her bed the next day shocked at last nights events. She doesn’t know what’s happen to her she’d never react like that to anything. But the whole Lachlan thing had changed her she’d lost all her confidence and strength making her realise that she wasn’t as strong as she made out to people. She’s worried about what Aaron would do when he found out what Lachlan had done to her. She didn’t want to risk him getting sent back to prison for her for something that was her own fault that she’d brought on herself. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t have gone over there that night. She wouldn’t feel weak and worthless all the time and worst of all she wouldn’t feel alone. Now she knows how Aaron felt all the times Gordon had raped him. It wasn’t the same because Aaron’s abuse was continuous and Aaron had no way to avoid it. Liv had a choice and made the wrong one which caused something that will stay with her for the rest of her life. She’d have to see Lachlan all around the village and that wants going to change. Every time she’d see him it’d remind her of what he’d done to her. That’s the reason she didn’t want to go out and the reason she was scared to show her face to people.
She lays in her bed until it’s a reasonable time for her to get up. She puts on her school uniform and gets ready for school all the things she used to do before everything changed for her. She walks down the stairs to find Aaron alone in the kitchen on his phone. Although she wasn’t ready it was time for the truth to come out for her to feel safe again and be able to confide in her brother without trying to avoid him and not being able to look him in the eyes. She knew what he would do if he found out but knowing wasn’t going to stop the inevitable.

“Ah hey Liv” Aaron says cheerfully not knowing the news he was about to receive from the girl he thought he knew more than she knew herself.

“Hey” she says in a quiet voice.

“Are you okay?” He asks knowing she hasn’t been her normal self.

“Yeah I’m good” she says lying. She turns to leave and is at the door when she closes her eyes and turns around confusing Aaron.

“The truth is no I’m not okay” she says quietly but loud enough for Aaron to hear her.

“Why what’s wrong?” Aaron asks worried about his younger sister who depended on him for everything “you know you can tell me anything”. She takes a deep breath.

“The truth is— that day I went to Home Farm Lachlan raped me” Liv reveals to him. After she finishes she hides her face into her hands and starts crying heavily not being able to see the shocked expression on Aaron’s face. He doesn’t know what to say so he just keeps silent. Liv still crying at the top of her lungs.

Aaron finally brings himself to say “When?” She lifts her head up eyes red.

“A month ago” Liv says breathing heavily.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Aaron asks in a sympathetic voice.

“I was scared and I didn’t want to upset you anymore than you already were I ruin everything” she replies in a quiet voice but loud enough for Aaron to hear.

“Liv you’re my little sister I love you and you know I’d do anything for you” Aaron says comforting her and holding her hand.

“So you’re not mad” she has voice still heavy.

“I am mad but it’s not with you” He says causally “you did the right thing”.

“I love you too” She says in a happy voice “can I stay home?”

“Yeah sure” Aaron says in a calm voice.

After Liv leaves the anger takes over him and he thinks to himself “I’m going to kill that kid if it’s the last thing I do”.