Even Tom was amazed at himself.
There he was in that little house in Iceland with Chris Hemsworth, both of them sitting on the plush sofa with Chris nestled comfortably next to Tom’s left side.
And they were alone.
Filming for the second “Thor” movie on location in Iceland was scheduled for three weeks, and Tom planned to make the most out of his stay in the land of ice and snow. How fitting given that Loki is basically a frost giant by birth, Tom thought to himself.
The tiny house that Marvel Studios rented was reserved for Tom and Chris for the duration of their stay in Iceland. The two had just finished dinner in a lovely Reykjavik restaurant with a few of the cast and crew members who were needed for filming on location and the pair blissfully trudged back to their cottage, laughing and sharing in-jokes all the while.
Soon, they changed into more comfortable clothes for sleeping and decided to just plop themselves in front of the television before the allure of sleep beckoned them.
That was four hours ago, and Tom and Chris were still awake.
It started innocently enough. The pair had fun watching old movies on cable channels before switching to local Icelandic shows and Chris ultimately dared Tom to do his best Icelandic accent and impressions. Needless to say, Chris basically bowled over with oxygen-depriving laughter when Tom launched into a spot-on imitation of Björk wearing her infamously iconic swan dress at the Academy Awards using a white blanket that he draped around his lanky frame.
Tom then urged Chris to do multiple impressions of Thor mashed up with different personas, which the cheerful Aussie obliged. There was Pirate Thor, Surfer Thor, Cowboy Thor, Rockstar Thor, and even Geisha Thor, where Tom completely lost it when Chris heartily bellowed “ME HAVE BIG HAMMER! ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME!” while doing dainty geisha moves and mannerisms.
Their playful shenanigans lasted well onto midnight, where they both ended up sitting next to each other just watching the night sky. They had the idea of moving the couch over to the large window that gave a spectacular view of the countryside. And while the cottage had a working heater, the cold still permeated their living space and so they took the blanket Tom used earlier for his impromptu swan dress sketch and draped it around themselves as they continued to watch the stars glow from afar.
“This is quite nice, isn’t it?” Chris murmured in his gravelly, masculine voice. “We rarely see the stars anymore now that we’re so busy. I used to remember seeing the stars just like this when I was a kid growing up in the Outback.”
Tom glanced at Chris and smiled. “Yeah, I know how you feel. Moments like this are quite… rare.”
Tom was about to say “precious” but caught himself before he could utter the word.
There are times when Tom thinks that Chris is fully aware of his physical and emotional attraction to him, which would make Chris one of the very few people in the world who knows of his fluid desires.
There is Tilda Swinton, who Tom has come to view as like a loving elder sister after bonding with her during the production of “Only Lovers Left Alive” and finally divulging his not-so-little infatuation with Chris at the 66th Cannes Film Festival. Then there’s his stalwart publicist, Luke Windsor, who somehow just knows even though Tom hasn’t outright admitted to his fascination.
And then there’s Chris himself, if Tom were to put it candidly.
But other times, Tom thinks Chris doesn’t have a clue. Chris is used to people lavishing him with physical attention that he probably just believes Tom’s yearning hugs and touches are nothing more than platonic.
Tom sighs and thinks to himself: Sometimes, I want Chris to know that I like him more than just my best mate. Sometimes, I want nothing more than to tell him but there are always a million reasons why I don’t—and none of them good ones.
Because whenever Tom is with Chris, whether they are filming on set or spending time together off-camera, there is a quiet joy that fills the gentlemanly yet hopelessly sentimental Brit. Everything recedes into the background. It seems like no one else is around. Everyone could disappear for all Tom cared. For every time he and Chris are together, they are alone, even in a crowded soundstage.
Like yesterday, when they just finished a good take on the pivotal scene where Thor and Loki had to confront Malekith the Accursed, Tom couldn’t help but smile at how Chris looked so ridiculously perfect with his Thor persona, wielding Mjolnir like he meant fucking business.
“What are you smiling about?” Chris mused, that adorably confused look Tom had grown to love blossoming wonderfully on his ruggedly bearded face.
“Oh, nothing,” Tom coyly replied as he flashed Chris a Loki grin. “I’m just… glad we got that take, that’s all.”
And then Chris smiled.
In the language of smiles, Chris’s smile, mirrored by Tom’s, spoke volumes. Something that gave away nothing yet at the same time, everything.
Chris suddenly pressed himself closer to Tom and casually rested his head on Tom’s shoulder as a particularly brief moment of chilliness swept through the room.
“Hey, is this okay, yeah?” Chris asked in a gentle tone.
“Of course,” Tom whispered as he was jolted out of that recent memory. He immediately proceeded to cautiously arrange the large blanket to shield them further from the cold, careful not to disturb the blessed position he was in at that moment. Chris’s hair was in Tom’s face, but he didn’t mind. He smelled great. Tom could smell his hair and almost catch the fragrance of his tanned skin.
“Good,” Chris chuckled. “So, do you happen to know your constellations, mate?”
Tom softly chuckled and placed his lips near Chris’s ear to say, “Yes.”
And they effortlessly launched into a stream of consciousness conversation that began with stars and somehow ending back down to Earth and talking about primitive civilizations that worshipped mythological deities.
It was a while before Tom realized Chris was sound asleep.
At first, Tom didn’t know whether he should be upset that Chris had fallen asleep on him mid-conversation. But as he looked at him, all traces of annoyance disappeared. Chris’s face looked so handsome and peaceful. His mouth was slightly open, and Tom could hear his soft breathing.
Tom continued to stare at Chris’s upside-down face. His blond head had slipped down to his stomach and Tom leaned over him and quietly asked, “Are you asleep?”
Chris obviously was, but nevertheless, the Aussie responded to the Brit while in his sleep, muttering something inaudible. Tom leaned closer to Chris to catch what he was saying, but he couldn’t make it out. He watched his lips move, but couldn’t make out the words. Tom was so close to Chris that he could have kissed him. Still looking at his beloved, Tom lay his head back on the sofa and began talking to him as his hand lightly caressed Chris’s golden tresses.
To which Tom told everything he ever wanted to say to Chris.
Twenty minutes later, Tom woke Chris up from his slumber by gently propping him up and off the sofa so that they could properly retire to their shared bedroom. Tom was fortunate enough that he had preset his alarm hours before so that they wouldn’t oversleep and miss their call time for filming later in the day.
Predictably, Chris grumbled in his state of half-sleep but nonetheless allowed himself to be half-dragged by Tom to the king-sized bed. As Chris settled comfortably into the pillows and resumed his dozing, Tom smiled wistfully as he settled next to Chris and wished him a good night, resisting the urge to lean down and kiss him on the forehead. Or on the lips, if he had to be honest with himself.
And it really was a good night because Tom knew that a part of Chris knew, even if it was that part of him that slept and would most likely not remember anything that Tom said in his after-hours confession when Chris woke up.
For Tom Hiddleston, that was enough.