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Surrender

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Gabriel doesn't own a TV, but he believed it when Sendhil told him he was an actor. From under thick lenses Gabriel steals glances of dark, shiny curls, smooth skin, and the blinding white teeth framed by full lips, and he doesn't know how he could not believe it; this is the sixth time they meet like this (Gabriel knows, because he keeps meticulous score of their every encounter), and still Gabriel finds himself convinced that this man is temptation sent down from God. Gabriel sometimes wishes he could quote the right scripture to send him away, but rarely does any coherent thought form in his mind when Sendhil is near.

"I like your new glasses," Gabriel says, and pushes his own up with a shaky finger. Immediately they slip and glide down his nose again.

"Thank you," Sendhil says, and cocks his head with a smile. It makes his eyes twinkle. After a beat, where Sendhil considers Gabriel's face with pursed lips and Gabriel admires the way the black frames with orange lining make the man seem more handsome (impossible!) than usual, Sendhil reaches across the dining table and picks the glasses off Gabriel's nose. "I like you better without," he says. "Your eyes are such a beautiful, warm brown."

At those words Gabriel feels his face heat up, and grabs his half-full glass of wine and drowns it, hoping Sendhil will think it's just the alcohol making him flustered. Sendhil chuckles, leans closer, and drags his tongue over Gabriel's closed lips, licking off the wine. It makes Gabriel jump in his seat, and Sendhil giggles even more. "Your mouth is pretty, too." Another lick, then Sendhil's lips close around Gabriel's bottom lip to suck gently. "And tasty."

"Sendhil," Gabriel calls, his voice breaking down to a whine and the name echoing in his ears more like please. Only answering with a hum, Sendhil gets up and walks around the table, and pulls Gabriel up to stand with long fingers tangling in Gabriel's woolly vest.

"Undress for me?" Sendhil says, and his intonation is rising, but Gabriel knows it's not a question. Sendhil steps back and watches as Gabriel pulls the vest over his head, then unbuttons his crisp white shirt. He isn't wearing an undershirt today, and when Sendhil sighs deeply at the sight of his bare chest, Gabriel feels another blush spread from his cheeks down his neck and nape. Soon Gabriel stands naked on the living room floor, bare feet tip-toeing on the cold hardwood.

Sendhil closes the space between them and presses their lips together. Gabriel wants to open his mouth, suck that full bottom lip in and lick the sour aftertaste of red wine from Sendhil's tongue, but even after so many kisses and so many intimacies shared with this man, he still doesn't dare take that initiative. Sendhil pulls away slightly, stopping inches from his face where Gabriel can still see every eyelash framing those dark eyes, and whispers, "Did you wash before I came?"

Gabriel's nods are short and frantic. He feels a breath of hot air against his chin and hears Sendhil chuckle, then Sendhil's lips are pressed to his skin again, over the jugular. "Eager for me?" Sendhil says, almost a murmur, and Gabriel feels his breath quicken and his throat constrict. All he manages are more frantic nods, blood rushing to his head to make him dizzy. Sendhil chuckles again.

"Wait for me on your bed." A shiver runs up Gabriel's spine that has nothing to do with the cold at his feet. Sendhil's hands come up to rest on his shoulders, turning him around and urging him towards his bedroom. "On your back, with your legs spread," Sendhil adds before sending him off with a gentle push between his shoulder blades, and Gabriel's steps halter at the images that pass before his eyes. Sendhil above him, between his legs, face to face, their eyes locked...it's Gabriel's favorite position, and one Sendhil has often indulged him in while jesting about Catholic boys and missionaries and how there are other positions in the world, too, you know.

Gabriel feels himself grow heavier just remembering those past couplings as he lies down on the sheets. Through the open doorway of his bedroom he can make out a vague outline of Sendhil in the hall, rummaging through the pockets of his jacket. Gabriel lies back and pulls up his legs, feet flat on the bed and knees straight up, spread just far enough to fit in Sendhil's small waist. He thinks he shouldn't, wants to wait until Sendhil joins him, but the cool air brushing between his legs and across his buttocks makes him reach up and run his hands over the inside of his thighs, scratching lightly with his short nails, a tingling sensation growing as his fingers graze closer and closer to his crotch.

When Sendhil appears in the doorway, still fully clothed in blue jeans and lavender shirt, his eyes squint with an amused chuckle. "I have plans for tonight, you know. Stop trying to make me come just by looking at you."

Gabriel takes his hands off his legs at once, sliding them up and resting them on his stomach, and bites at his bottom lip. He wants to close his legs, too, and can feel needles pricking his skin in embarrassment under Sendhil's gaze as the man steps closer to the bed, but his penis rises slightly more at the attention, which in turn only serves to make him feel even more self-conscious.

His entire body shudders when Sendhil rests a hand on his knee. Something is dropped onto the mattress but Gabriel can't see what, too focused on Sendhil's thumb rubbing soothing circles on his skin. "Lick your fingers," Sendhil says, then drops his head to take the tip of Gabriel's penis in his mouth.

The sensation is too soon, too sudden; Gabriel buckles, his body trying to escape, but he digs his nails into the sheets and forces himself to stay put. Licking his dry lips he takes two fingers in his mouth, circling and wetting them with his tongue, in an imitation of Sendhil's tongue on his glans. He imagines it's Sendhil's flaccid penis in his mouth, imagines pushing the foreskin down with his lips and feeling the blood pump into the shaft with his tongue, and senses his erection start to leak just from the thought.

With one soft suckle, Sendhil lets Gabriel slip out of his mouth. "Rub your nipples," he says, and Gabriel trails his wet fingers down his neck, through the hairs under his collar bone, and onto his right nipple. The saliva is already cold and his nipple perks instantly, and Gabriel sucks on the fingers of his other hand to rubs his left nipple, too. His hips are rocking ever so slightly now, seeking friction against his penis, but Sendhil smiles and ducks his head lower.

Gabriel gasps at the first touch against his hole. Sendhil's tongue is hot, wet, soft yet strong, and he can't help but push his hips up now, spreading his legs further apart to give Sendhil easier access. Sendhil's hands sneak under his knees and Gabriel's feet are lifted from the sheets, his legs pushed back further towards his chest, and he cranes his neck to see where Sendhil rests between his legs. The dark head shifts and tilts, rubbing the tongue flat against the opening then licking the periphery of the sphincter, lapping, gently pulling open; Gabriel gasps loudly with each little movement against his sensitive skin and desperately rubs his thumbs along his nipples, knowing that if he lets go, lets his mind drift away from the task Sendhil has given him, he will end up with his fingers wrapped around his penis and spilling his semen across his chest far sooner than Sendhil wants him to.

Gabriel thanks the Lord when Sendhil's tongue leaves him with one final kiss. His feet are placed back on the sheets and he lets his arms fall to the side, trying to steady his shallow breathing. Sendhil shifts at his feet, stretches up to reach the nightstand, and Gabriel follows his hand to see him fish out the lubricant from the drawer. Sendhil tosses the bottle on the bed and Gabriel's gaze fixes on it, his tongue darting out to lick at dry lips. Sendhil leans in closer with a smile. "You're so cute when you're horny." The simple words make blood rush to Gabriel's cheeks, but his skin is so flustered everywhere, he can't imagine he could turn more red than he already is. Long, beautiful fingers with perfect flat nails run through Gabriel's hair, brushing it away from his sweat-soaked forehead, but before Gabriel can act on the urge to take that hand and kiss the palm, Sendhil brushes a kiss against his forehead and slides back down to kneel between his legs.

Instead of the cool touch of lube against his opening that he is expecting, Gabriel feels Sendhil's hands rest on his knees. "I want you to try something today," Sendhil says. Gabriel blinks and props himself up on his elbows, meeting Sendhil's gaze. He can't make out Sendhil's exact expression from this distance, but he notices something resting on the bed by their side: a series of five baby blue balls made of what looks like plastic, maybe silicone, all probably about an inch wide and decorating a thin string made of the same material. The shape and length of the thing makes it obvious even to Gabriel's inexperienced mind what purpose it serves.

The pure, instinctive first word on Gabriel's lips is no. He doesn't speak it, instead biting his tongue and swallowing hard. Butterflies are dancing in his stomach now and his hands run down his chest to cover his navel on their own accord. Sendhil is running his hands down Gabriel's thighs and nudging his legs further apart; slow, gentle, waiting.

"Do you--" His words catch in his dry throat and Gabriel has to cough and swallow before he tries again. "Do you want to see me use that?"

Sendhil presses his lips to Gabriel's knee. "No," he murmurs, the soft vibration of his deep voice running through Gabriel's skin. "I want you to feel good."

Gabriel feels a drop of pre-come gather on the tip of his penis and slowly trickle down his length. His heart beats faster, thumping almost painfully against his ribcage, and he squirms on the sheets and raises his arms to cover his face. He can't tell how he must look now because he's never felt like this before. His body shudders with every breath and he nods his head before his heart explodes in his chest.

"Really?"

He nods, again, and thinks he must have gone crazy. He feels the bed shift under him and a hand pushes his arms up, away from his face, and when he dares to open his eyes Sendhil's face is inches from him, eyes pitch dark and intense behind his glasses. Sendhil kisses him without breaking eye contact, his lips tugging at Gabriel's insistently until they open and invite in his tongue. Gabriel tangles his fingers in Sendhil's hair without a second thought, pulling him down and sucking on that soft tongue like he never wants to let it go again. Sendhil's glasses slide off his nose and he pulls them off with a muttered curse, tossing them away so hard they fall to the floor with a clatter. Gabriel smiles against Sendhil's lips and feels the smile being returned.

Sendhil breaks off with a sigh. "You usually never let me kiss you after I..." The implication behind the unfinished sentence is subtle, but obvious enough to make Gabriel bite down hard on his lips. Sendhil chuckles, a little breathless, and begins to slide down Gabriel's body, leaving small kisses on lips, Adam's apple, nipple, belly button, tip of his penis; one last kiss on the inside of his thigh and Gabriel hears the sound of a cap being opened.

"Breathe easy."

The first ball slips through as he breathes out deeply, and Gabriel can't stop his breath from hitching in his throat with a yelp. It's cold, smooth and oddly soft, an alien sensation different from either fingers or penis that he doesn't think he appreciates. Sendhil's fingers trace around the rim of his opening, massaging, and when Gabriel manages to calm his breathing again, Sendhil gently nudges the second bead inside. This time Gabriel's body twitches on the sheets, his toes curling, and the yelp escaping his lips is deeper, closer to a moan. His body is heating up again and goosebumps rise on his skin as Sendhil uses the third ball to stretch his sphincter, resting it there without pushing it in fully, letting Gabriel clench and unclench around it.

Gabriel remembers the first time they were together, Sendhil's body over his own, small beads of sweat trickling down his firm torse and arms as Sendhil pushed the head of his erection through, rotated his hips, then pulled out, repeating until Gabriel called his name in desperation and Sendhil pushed through to the hilt, nearly knocking Gabriel's head into the headboard with the force of his thrust and making Gabriel cry his name over and over again, until they climaxed together and collapsed in a heap of sweat and ragged breathing.

The third ball slips inside and Gabriel's mind returns to the present. "Are you uncomfortable?" Sendhil asks, and when Gabriel shakes his head with a moan Sendhil pushes the fourth one in, just to immediately pull it out again. Gabriel hisses at the unexpected movement, and nearly lifts his buttocks from the mattress when Sendhil pushes it in once more, much less gently than before, and immediately follows it with the fifth and largest bead.

"Sendhil," Gabriel calls with a gasp, clutching the sheets in his hands. He can feel his legs shake and his opening twitch with every beat of his heart, wanting to be stretched and opened by Sendhil, needing those firm, long strokes to that spot inside, longing to be filled up in a way that no toy could. He takes one large gulp of air before gazing up at the man by his feet. "Take them out now, please?"

Sendhil laughs, a beautiful, sonorous sound. "Why? Don't you like them?"

"But won't you..." Gabriel takes another gulp of air and clutches harder at the sheets. His skin feels like it's on fire; he doesn't think he'll be able to last much longer. "Aren't you going to..."

Instead of answering Gabriel's unfinished question, Sendhil crawls off the bed and tosses something to land on Gabriel's chest. Instinctively Gabriel reaches to pick it up, and sees the small square package of a condom. He looks up at Sendhil, expecting him to undress and let Gabriel roll in on him, but instead Sendhil leans down to rub his thumb over the tip of Gabriel's penis, spreading the moisture there. "Put it on," he says, simply. Gabriel's mouth gapes, and his hands start to shake so hard the package falls from his fingers.

Sendhil licks his wet thumb clean with a moan, then proceeds to undresses. The shirt falls away to reveal a muscular chest and an impossibly small waist, and the jeans soon follow. Sendhil is so hard his erection is pushing through the hole in his boxer briefs; Gabriel marvels at how he could stand to stay fully-clothed for so long. Peeling the boxers down and stepping out, Sendhil crawls onto the bed again, straddling Gabriel's thighs. "Oh, dear God." It's all Gabriel can say, his eyes transfixed on Sendhil's hands as he picks up the bottle of lubricant, coats his index and middle fingers, and reaches back.

Gabriel's fingers are so shaky that Sendhil has to guide his hand as he rolls the condom onto his own erection. When they reach the base Sendhil pulls out his fingers, wipes them roughly on the sheets, and leans his body forward to get on all fours, his hands on either side of Gabriel's shoulders. His face is inches from Gabriel's now, clear in his vision again, every perfect line and curve of his dark skin enticing, making Gabriel dizzy just by gazing up. Then Sendhil reaches back with one hand, gently steadies Gabriel's erection, and lowers his hips.

"Oh, dear Lord, oh my God..."

"I like it when you call me that," Sendhil says, and giggles, and before Gabriel can wonder how this man can giggle, now, in this situation, he hears Sendhil breathe out slowly and next, he's encompassed in a sensation so strong he can't tell if it's pleasure or pain. His hands shoot up, grasping at anything he can reach, digging his nails into the taut muscles of Sendhil's back; he grits his teeth and focuses on the dark eyes before him, the beautifully furrowed brows, the full lips parted just slightly to show a glimpse of tongue, the curls plastered to his forehead with sweat.

Sendhil raises his upper body, breathes out once more, and slides down in one seamless movement. "Perfect," he whispers, and Gabriel reads the word on his lips more than hears them. "I've wanted this for forever," Sendhil says, rocking his hips ever so slightly. His lashes are heavy, casting shadows on his cheekbones, and he is licking at his lips incessantly. "Ever since I saw your cock. Did you know that? So fucking...thick." With the last word Sendhil clenches around Gabriel and they both groan, Sendhil's hand closing around his own erection and jerking fast and hard, twice. Gabriel feels his hips shift, trying to thrust up, but tenses his muscles and holds back.

"And long," Sendhil continues, breathless, rocking his hips back and forth as though he can't stop himself, his hand copping his scrotum and rolling slowly. "I've been imagining it sliding in and out of me. Slow, then fast, making me feel it deeper than I've ever felt it. Fucking me."

Short desperate moans are escaping Gabriel's lips. He thinks he can come just like this, buried in Sendhil and listening to his voice, cruder words than will ever even cross his own mind rolling over Sendhil's perfect lips and tongue so effortlessly, making him harder than he ever remembers being in his life.

Sendhil lets out one heavy, shuddering sigh, and suddenly Gabriel feels hands clasp his own to peel them off Sendhil's back. "Get up, Gabriel," Sendhil says, taking Gabriel's hands in his and tangling their fingers together. Gabriel blinks, unsure of what Sendhil means, and impatiently Sendhil tugs at his arms hard enough to lift Gabriel's shoulders from the bed. Gabriel holds his breath and shakes his head; he's convinced that if he moves even an inch, he'll finish.

"Com'on." But Sendhil is insistent. Gabriel lifts his back from the mattress, guided by Sendhil's hands, gritting his teeth a little bit more every time Sendhil shifts, or squeezes, or grinds, making sparkles dance before his eyes. The beads move inside of him to remind him of their presense, and soon he's sitting up on the bed, Sendhil in his lap, firm dark thighs spread on either side of his pale waist. Sendhil runs his hands though Gabriel's hair, pressing their torsos together, nipples against sweaty chest hair, mouths inches from one another and breathing each other's air.

"I want you to fuck me," Sendhil says, biting Gabriel's bottom lip. Gabriel feels as though he grows even larger inside of Sendhil at the words; maybe he really does, because Sendhil squirms in his lap and grinds down, closing his eyes and breathing shallowly through gaping mouth. Gabriel reaches out with his tongue and licks inside, along the roof of Sendhil's mouth, and Sendhil's lips immediately close around his tongue to suck. Tentatively, Gabriel pushes his hips up. Sendhil gasps into his mouth, and Gabriel feels Sendhil's hardness twitch against his stomach.

When they part, Sendhil's eyes are glazed over and his lips are glistering with their saliva. Gabriel doesn't think he's ever seen Sendhil like this before, a faint brush of crimson along his cheekbones making him look so beautiful it takes his breath away, and Gabriel finally understands why Sendhil loves making him blush so much.

"Fuck me," Sendhil repeats. His voice is solemn and steady. "Fuck me like I fuck you. Make me come with your cock, Gabriel, fuck me just the way you like it, deep and hard and--"

With strength he didn't know he possessed, Gabriel grabs Sendhil's legs and pushes the other man down on the bed. Sendhil gasps as he lands on his back and his eyes shoot wide open, as if in shock, but immediately he braces himself against Gabriel's thrusts, supple muscles molding under Gabriel's palms as he spreads and lifts Sendhil's legs. They're both sweat-soaked and Gabriel feels his hands slip on Sendhil's smooth, scorching skin. He leans in and closes his arms around Sendhil's shoulders, holding him in place, and thrusts his entire length into the open body under him.

Sendhil's erection is twitching, trapped between their stomachs. His expression is pure abandon; every shove forces feral groans out his open mouth, makes his eyes roll back in their sockets, and Gabriel watches, wanting to forever burn onto his mind's eye this face, along with the knowledge that he is making Sendhil feel like this, making him come apart.

"I can't--" Gabriel says, unable to even finish the sentence before waves of pleasure start to shoot up his spine, and his thrusts turn frantic, uncontrolled. He vaguely feels Sendhil's arms reach around him, hands tracing his spine down to his buttocks, where Sendhil pulls out the beads in one, swift movement.

Gabriel comes feeling Sendhil's seeds spilling onto his stomach and chest, and screaming Sendhil's name.

"Thank you," he says afterwards, caressing Sendhil's arm as they lie together in the tub, Sendhil on top of him with his back against Gabriel's chest.

"For what?" The look Sendhil shoots him as he turns his head is genuinely confused, brows furrowed and lips pressed together tightly.

"I mean...you did that on purpose."

"What, made you fuck me into the mattess so hard I won't be walking straight for days?" Sendhil says with a straight face, then his expression breaks into a heart-stopping grin. "Yeah, that was on purpose."

Gabriel hides his blush with a cough, gaze wandering away from Sendhil's blinding teeth and amused eyes. "No, I mean...you were trying to make me more...assertive."

Sendhil blinks. "No. I love to have my way with you, you're adorable."

Gabriel's cough is louder and longer this time, and Sendhil bursts out in lighthearted laughter that makes the surface of the bath water ripple and gently caress Gabriel's shoulders and knees.

"You overestimate me," Sendhil says with a quick chaste kiss, and turns around to settle himself comfortably against Gabriel's chest again.

Gabriel doesn't know what to think or say, so he hooks his arms around Sendhil's chest and lets his eyes close instead.