uselessenglishmajor



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ben Solo has a problem. He has to have a post-Thanksgiving Family Dinner with a family that won't shut up about his potential and how he's not achieving it - especially in his love life. So lots of wine and a stupid suggestion inevitably lead the poor man to Craigslist where he might have found the answer to all of his problems.

    Rey is a broke college student with bills to pay and not enough time in the day to earn money. So, she does what any good, clever person would. She pimps herself out for money and holiday food. Not like that, you creeps, she pretends to be the girlfriend you need in order to get through the holidays. But this year may be more than she bargained for.

    When these two lonely souls collide, it leads to shenanigans and hilarity - and a little bit of sex on the side. Can they convince his family that they're in love? Or will it end in a blazing flame of tragedy and unrequited need?

    If I can actually finish a story, maybe you'll find out! :D (Don't worry, it's already mostly written)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,767
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1160
    Kudos:
    1832
    Bookmarks:
    429
    Hits:
    43718

    15 Jan 2020

  2. Rec 24

    Tags
    Summary

    A-Side: Ben Solo is a Desktop Support Analyst at RESIST!Media, a multimillion dollar media conglomerate. He's notoriously cranky (and kinda awkward) until he has a sickeningly sweet meet-cute with interviewee Rey.

    B-Side: Kylo Ren likes killing for the organized crime syndicate First Order. Like, a lot. And he's good at it. But he's been a little distracted lately.

    Ben Solo the gentle tech guy and Kylo Ren the mob enforcer are the same person. And he reeealllly doesn't wanna fuck things up with Rey Kenobi.

    Office AU meets mob AU meets gratuitous violence in every chapter! And fluff. Some humor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,112
    Chapters:
    4/12
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    925

    13 Jan 2020

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Uraraka and Bakugo have a secret. It’s not what their classmates think it is.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    182,478
    Chapters:
    64/64
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4051
    Kudos:
    5133
    Bookmarks:
    1018
    Hits:
    98593

    26 Sep 2019

  4. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Touch-starved, heartless Wall Street Exec Kylo Ren just wants a safe place to park his godson for an afternoon: desperately choosing a Toddler Time Story Hour at New York Public Library.

    What he doesn't anticipate is that an instantaneous connection has him trapped by the reader's voice; and the lengths he will go to hear it again.

    Rey reluctantly agrees to their arrangement: paid by the hour to read out loud to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,543
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    317
    Kudos:
    1331
    Bookmarks:
    324
    Hits:
    19024

    09 Jul 2019

  5. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Post Hogwarts. Kids still at war. Angsty, angry, and men and women doing it in hotel rooms. This is obviously an AU by now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    130
    Kudos:
    1012
    Bookmarks:
    253
    Hits:
    21989

    12 Feb 2019

Navigation