therewascourfeyrac



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  1. Public Bookmark 6

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    The explosion rolls over the void, waking everyone. Crowley fights against the drugging effects of the entity that rules this place, his curiosity awake and prodding him into investigating.

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    26 Feb 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

    "Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

    Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

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    24 Feb 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas comes back. It's not exactly the reunion that Dean is expecting.

    ~~~

    Dean stares at him, flummoxed. Cas quite literally poured his heart out to Dean, gave a truly sappy and distressingly romantic speech and everything, then proceeded to give his life so that Dean could live his. And he wants to act like he doesn't want to see Dean, be around him, touch him?

    Actually, Dean's ninety-nine percent sure that Cas probably wants to fuck him, and while he has no clue how he feels about that, he's pretty goddamn sure that means Cas doesn't get to act like this and make it authentic.

    It feels strangely real, though, as if Cas wants nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible. This is a blatant contradiction. Even someone as weird as Cas doesn't want to get away from the person they have the desire to fuck five ways to Sunday, that they're in love with. That's not how these things work, so Dean isn't buying it.

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    23 Feb 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.

    ~~~

    "Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"

    "I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."

    "So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"

    Castiel hums. "We're good."

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    21 Feb 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

    The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

    --

    In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

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    16 Feb 2021