schittyfic
Fandoms
- Schitt's Creek (33)
- Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF (8)
Recent works
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Summary
Several years into married life, Patrick encourages a budding passion of David's - with a healthy dose of teasing on the side.
For the prompt: "I can't believe you talked me into this."
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Summary
“Mkay, but —” David stops with a little laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly. “You know your dick is bigger, right?”
Patrick outright snorts at him, like he’s being ridiculous. “Um, no it’s not.”
David has to sit up, flailing to extricate himself from Patrick’s arms so he can be incredulous with his entire body. “Yes, it is! Have you met your dick before?!”
“Once or twice, yeah.”
Or: a fic about dick-measuring, with an inordinate amount of Soft Feelings attached.
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“Did you, uh… walk here?”
David nods. “Mm-hm.”
“Can I give you a ride home?” Patrick asks, almost shyly. David feels just as silly, like a fucking schoolboy with a crush, glancing away from Patrick’s wide-open gaze and mumbling that he'd like that, very much.
“Great.” Patrick flashes a chipper smile. “I brought a spare helmet.”
Or: as David's birthday dinner draws to a close, Patrick has a little surprise up his sleeve.
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In the wake of the Jake fiasco and still stinging from the Blouse Barn, David finds himself with far too much free time and a creative itch that needs scratching. On a whim, he decides to take beginner's guitar lessons. Unfortunately, his tutor is extremely rude, and how dare he have such nice forearms, anyway?
An enemies-(idiots)-to-lovers fic set between 3x03 and 3x08.
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thompson farm's sweet 'n' spiced artisanal applesauce by schittyfic for fortheloveofSchitt
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
20 Jul 2021
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Summary
David’s head tilts knowingly, and his lips twitch for the barest second, before he turns his attention back to his work.
“You like watching my hands.”
Patrick swallows. David shouldn’t be able to stop him in his tracks like this. They’ve been together long enough that 'boyfriend; rolls easily off the tongue, and his apartment feels foreign and dark without David’s illuminating presence. He shouldn’t render him speechless anymore, sending him right back to those early days where David would banter with him over a bottle of juice and momentarily cut off the power supply to his brain.
“Would you like to know what I’m planning on doing with them?”
Recent series
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Condomless in the Creek by Deenerann, DelilahMcMuffin, EggplantSalad, Elswherefumbling, Januarium, Lisamc21, midnightstreet, reginahalliwell, rockinhamburger, schittyfic, SparklesMagicLightLove, unfolded73, yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)
Fandom: Schitt's Creek
04 Jan 2021
Summary
Welcome to the condomless in the creek collaborative series. Each work is an alternate take on a time that David and Patrick discuss their condom usage, or lack thereof. They do not exist in the same timeline and are not necessarily consistent with each other.
- Words:
- 47,868
- Works:
- 12
- Bookmarks:
- 69
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- Words:
- 10,078
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 41
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
David Rose falls off his cute huge yacht, loses his memory, and washes up in Schitt’s Creek, where he learns how to love.
This is loosely based on the movie Overboard, but if you read All the Songs I Sing Are About You, you already know I have a tendency to stray pretty far from the source material. The story is barely recognizable beyond the basic premise.
Schitt’s Creek is a small town on the water in this story, and NOTHING about the experience or treatment of amnesia in this is remotely accurate. It’s all made up, folks. Suspend your disbelief before entering.
The title comes from an episode of Schitt’s Creek. Bragging rights to the first person who figures out what episode and scene it came from.
Series
- Part 2 of Fractured Rom-coms
Bookmarked by schittyfic
08 May 2021
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Early in their relationship, David has a bit of an insecurity in the bedroom. Patrick shows him that he has absolutely nothing to be worried about.
(like 70/30 feelings/sex)
Bookmarked by schittyfic
28 Mar 2021
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When the Doctor asked him later, he couldn’t explain how it had happened exactly. One minute he’d been coming back down from the ridge where he’d proposed to David, having taken a moment to soak in the view from one of his most favourite places in the world, and the next he’d been lying in the middle of the trail consumed by pain.
Bookmarked by schittyfic
07 Feb 2021
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Who is Sebastien Raine?
“He’s a monster who uses people and leaves them for dead.” - David Rose
The story of “almost three months. Four, if you include the month that he was seeing other people.”
Bookmarked by schittyfic
22 Jan 2021
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Summary
Patrick moves to Schitt's Creek a year early, around the same time David is considering obtaining his own apartment.
Roommate shenanigans ensue.
12/31/2019: Now with an epilogue, containing completely unrealistic refractory periods as well as a little dash of anxiety!
Bookmarked by schittyfic
12 Jan 2021