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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Set sometime in the future, Eggsy's implants and mechanical body parts need upgrades and care that he just can't afford. He does a few shady things and catches the eye of the cops. He runs and eventually hides in a flower shop of all places.

    It will be the best mistake of his life.

    A Kingsman Fic Wars story

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,845
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    255
    Kudos:
    518
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    4942

    19 May 2018

  2. Public Bookmark 11

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    Summary

    Harry receives an unsolicited dick pic. What happens next won’t actually surprise you. #clickbaitsummary

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,299
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    11

    18 May 2018

  3. Public Bookmark 22

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    Summary

    Like it says on the tin, this is the Kingsman version of The Corpse Bride/Softest Boy in The World. Featuring Eggsy as the Corpse Groom, Harry as a man who just wants to know what the fuck is going on, Roxy as Someone Who Deserves Better Than This Shit, Valentine as a dead wizard, Charlie as His Usual Prick Self, and Merlin as the best priest ever.

    YA'LL I FORGOT ONE OF THE DAMN CHAPTERS. THERE IS A SCENE IN THE CHURCH BETWEEN THEN HEADING UPSTAIRS AND HARRY AND EGGSY GETTING MARRIED PLEASE GO AND READ IT AS IT'S BASICALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER AND I'M SORRY I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT WHO FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER I SUCK AND I'M WELL AWARE THAT I SUCK!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,109
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    830

    14 May 2018

  4. Public Bookmark 58

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    Summary

    In which Bilbo meets Thorin and life takes unexpected turns.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,811
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    2405

    05 May 2018

  5. Public Bookmark 34

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    Summary

    Eggsy Unwin loves reading to his little sister and he also loves that she loves his old books. But when they get a chance to meet the formerly retired author, little do they know that their lives will never be the same.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,180
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    235
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1167

    29 Apr 2018

  6. Public Bookmark 89

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    Summary

    Harry Hart survived the bullet to the brain and the Statesman rescued him. He recovered and spent two years under their care, believing he was a twenty year old lepidopterist. But one morning, Harry wakes up and remembers everything - Kingsman, the Church, his murder, and most of all his parting with Eggsy. He finds that the Statesman are an organization not too dissimilar to his own, but he plays things close to his vest and tells them nothing.

    Armed with nothing more than his suit, a Canadian passport, and a few hundred British pounds, Harry returns home, knowing that he'll be facing the most difficult test of all - the Lazarus Protocol. If Kingsman believes he's been compromised, Harry could end up very dead. But it's a risk he has to take. He has to find out what's happened to Eggsy. Nothing else matters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,934
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    166
    Kudos:
    370
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    5456

    17 Apr 2018

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Plenty of people had looked down on Eggsy throughout his life. He had gotten fairly used to it. Didn't mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. What really sucked was that the new Arthur was worse than the old one.

    “Eggsy grimaced. He didn’t know how to explain to Harry – who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life – that the new Arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

    Also featuring: Dean is harder to get rid of than Eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and Eggsy is really beginning to wish that Harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    163,502
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    2091
    Kudos:
    5419
    Bookmarks:
    2138
    Hits:
    77480

    05 Apr 2018

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Eggsy’s adoptive father, James Lance, is a highly-skilled art forger who poses as an art collector. When he loans his greatest work, Cellini’s Venus, to the most prestigious art gallery in the world, he risks being exposed when the gallery has to test the statue for authenticity. To save his father, Eggsy enlists the help of a supposed burglar- Harry Hart. Harry agrees to help, but he’s not what he seems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,801
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    439
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    5506

    31 Mar 2018

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Harry Hart meets Gary "Eggsy" Unwin one autumn night in 1981. He is 22. Eggsy is 21.

    Time Travel AU in which Eggsy and Harry are lovers in the 1980s, but a mission gone wrong sends Eggsy 30 years into the future- and for those past thirty years, Harry thought he was dead. They both have to deal with how time has changed them- or not changed, in Eggsy's case.

    EDIT: Now with a Chinese Translation!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,964
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    1530
    Bookmarks:
    431
    Hits:
    17641

    30 Mar 2018

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Everything starts because Roxy remembers what Eggsy said before that party.

    Or.

    Harry thinks he isn't good enough for Eggsy but can't really take watching Eggsy sleep with other people, Eggsy thinks Harry is out of his league and sleeps with people he thinks are in his league instead, Roxy wonders how she got stuck with all these boneheads, and Merlin thinks the title of overlord is fitting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,345
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    964
    Bookmarks:
    237
    Hits:
    12273

    26 Mar 2018

  11. Public Bookmark 91

    Tags
    Summary

    A gorgeous young man moves in across the way and Harry slowly falls in love with his smile.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,024
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    396
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    2602

    26 Mar 2018

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Hail satan and have a lovely afternoon madam

    updated!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    1577
    Bookmarks:
    235
    Hits:
    20905

    24 Mar 2018

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    AU in which Harry, former spy, is now the author of the popular Kingsman series. Recently separated from a long time partner, and suffering from writer's block, he takes up a house in a small town further north and far away from London. He falls hard and fast for the lad next door, a single father who moonlights as the occasional chef and food writer, and his adorable infant daughter Daisy.

    All Harry has ever wanted is to settle down and have a little family, but it seems his past doesn't want to let him go.

    (Be prepared for a LOT of schmoop before the plot gets serious, though. I have schmoopy needs and I aim to fulfill them.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,140
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    5893

    23 Mar 2018

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Harry Hart should not be allowed within fifty feet of tiny runty puppies because he loses all reason. When he finds an abandoned teacup schnauzer searching for food in the bins, he immediately decides he’s going to be its mother and brings it home to love forever. Obviously he doesn’t stop to consider the fact that he’s out of the country more often than not so all the actual looking after is going to fall on Merlin, who has a deep disdain for people who make their dogs wear clothes and thinks anything smaller than a wolfhound is basically a pointless rodent.

    Meanwhile, Eggsy is floundering on probation after grassing up Dean and his thugs in return for escaping jail time for his part in all their previous criminal activity. Life is looking pretty bleak, no money and no prospects - until he meets a ridiculous eccentric couple and their amazing little dog, and is hired as its nanny.

    Contains deeply inappropriate use of the phrases "good boy", "bad boy", and "where’s your squeaky balls?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,123
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    825
    Bookmarks:
    263
    Hits:
    6783

    15 Mar 2018

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Merlin has noticed that his friend for the past two thousand years has not been himself lately. He’s not eating enough, not sleeping well, and is working too much. And really it’s no wonder with Harry’s atrocious diet of blood bags, animal blood, and fine liquor. Harry needs fresh human blood to be put to rights again. And where better to find something to really sink your teeth into than at the Crown Auctions, where repeat criminals are sold into indentured servitude for the length of their sentence, and the lowest scum of society serving lifelong terms, are quite happily sold to vampires, who if the criminals are lucky will kill them quickly, or will keep them alive for years if they aren’t?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,810
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    149
    Kudos:
    440
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
    6253

    12 Mar 2018

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    When Eggys's soulmarks come in on both arms he turns to prostitution to pay for the medical treatment is sister needs. Believing his soulmates would never forgive his transgressions Eggsy avoids them at all costs until Harry Hart's mark begins to lose color. Eggsy sets out to save the life of a soulmate he fears he wont be strong enough to leave. Their better off without him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,021
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    719
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    8493

    11 Mar 2018

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Guinevere Act states that should the current Arthur be unmated, then an omega is to be chosen for him to insure he remain of sound mind at all times. The acting omega will provide counsel and comfort to Arthur.

    Harry thinks the law is a load of crap and refuses to choose his mate from a catalog like he's shopping for furniture in Ikea. Everything changes, though, when he comes across a delightful omega named Eggsy. As soon as Harry lays eyes on him, he knows who he wants to be by his side. And Eggsy is more than happy to be Harry's mate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,510
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    671
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    5645

    05 Mar 2018

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Harry Hart, a Lord Justice, has his life turned upside down when he meets a young rentboy, named Eggsy, who charms his way into Harry's heart. But can he act upon those feelings, or are their cirmustances too different to breach the gap?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,931
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    459
    Kudos:
    1718
    Bookmarks:
    375
    Hits:
    39336

    02 Mar 2018

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stripper AU. First and foremost he did it to pay the rent, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,228
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    289
    Kudos:
    570
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    9953

    21 Feb 2018

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    When Eggsy's best friend, Roxy, goes away for a business trip and asks him to walk her dog every day, she mentioned that her uncle was house sitting for her. Eggsy never expected his best mate's uncle to change his life so quickly.

    (Inspired by the 2007 film Shelter)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,820
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    818
    Bookmarks:
    201
    Hits:
    7960

    16 Feb 2018

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