1 - 20 of 21 Works by malloryklohn

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The road trip madness continues. Vince picks up a pregnant hitchhiker and blows up the car (almost, any road) and Stuart says a lot of bad stuff that he means means means, absolutely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    583
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Well, they've pressed the button. Stepped off. New Planet. But in between one place and the next, there is an assload of driving. Really, it was only a matter of time before Stuart got restless.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,728
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    572
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Yay-hooray! It's Amnesia Story day! Mulder loses his memory and becomes a much cheerier, no less horny dude whose goal, it seems, is to make Skinner want to leave town, change his name, and alter his appearance with plastic surgery. Will love prevail?

    Well, yeah. *I* wrote this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,655
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    463
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Episode tag to, um, the one where Jim goes undercover in prison and becomes an amateur professional wrestler or whatever the hell happened. Blair attempts to comfort Jim after his ordeal, but he's kind of fucking bad at it. No pun intended.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,256
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    505
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Fraser lures Ray up into the Great White North for a hinterland holiday. He pretends it's a character-building exercise, but actually, he wants Ray's sweet lovin'. Who doesn't? Dude was a sex machine. Also, reference is made to terrible CanCon. But no lyrics are quoted, I swear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,033
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    391
  6. Tags
    Summary

    For reasons which are never remotely explained, Jim is forced to relive the same shitty day over... and over... and over! Till he finally gets it right and is rewarded with Blair's favours. Based on the fandom you might think I mean Blair finally cleans the oven, but no: it's sex.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    828
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Fraser has a thing for Ray's neck. Ray notices, approves, and does whatever he can to push Fraser to the breaking point and DO something about it... which doesn't take much, actually, since Fraser is like tragically repressed but not very good at it at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    564
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Against his better judgment, Jim takes Blair to Las Vegas for a fabulous vacation. Hilarity and sex ensue. Plus there is a cocktail waitress who looks like Melina Kanakaredes. You know, from "Providence."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,554
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    496
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Skinner tries to fuck the pain away, but a little case of Whiskey Dick holds him back. Meantime, Mulder's lust overcomes his trepidation once again, and the stalker is... well, but I don't want to spoil the ending for you.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,001
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    279
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The maniac stalker finally reveals his purpose, and Mulder takes drastic steps to stop him from destroying everything Mulder stands for. Except, you know, his sweet lovin'.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    243
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Skinner receives another sex-related gift from the Photo Department, Mulder receives a crate of celebrity workout videos, and they both receive... A NASTY SHOCK! But not the electrical kind. I'd have said about that in the warnings.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,860
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    280
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Mulder's new case involves a thing that does things to things. All deadly-like! Meantime, the stalker makes merry with Mulder's aquarium, another agent makes Unwanted Advances, and Skinner is about as angry and constipated as ever, for all new reasons.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,316
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    220
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Mulder and Skinner's weird stalker steps up his campaign of harassment with a vandalized PC desktop and, of course, a musical Velvis. He or she is basically the worst at menacing, including a dead hamster. Mulder and Skinner try to solve the problem with sex, once again. It hasn't made matters worse, anyhow.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,867
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    232
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Perhaps or perhaps not related to the Mystery Cameraman in the series finale of The Denny's Cycle, some sick fuck has taken to having donuts delivered to Mulder's crime scenes. But why! Mulder and Skinner attempt to solve this problem with sex. Goddamn I love slash fiction.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,787
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    303
  15. Tags
    Summary

    An investigation goes sideways, leaving Mulder with a broken ankle and Naughty Ideas about how to get his end away even so. Although I'm fairly certain it isn't phrased that way, since that's British slang. Whatever, man.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    268
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Nobody actually stops at IHOP in this story, so I'm not sure why I went with that subtitle. I wasn't even drinking then. Mainly what you need to know here is that Scully finds out about Mulder and Skinner's love, and in so doing, I commit one of the deadly sins of fiction writing: she threatens Skinner with GBH "if you ever hurt him!" or whatnot.

    Seriously: dead sober when I wrote this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,198
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    255
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Nowadays, insomnia leads to forming Fight Club or becoming a serial killer in Alaska. But back in my day, it meant that hott Guyz met up coincidentally at 24-hour chain restaurants and got to teh sexin'. Things really were better in the good old days.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,254
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    301
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Twenty-seven million wrongs make a right when Stuart, having tortured Vince over innumerable terrible, terrible dates, finally Sees The Light. It's pretty much the worst cliche ever in the romcom genre, but with more buttsecks and (mostly) better dialogue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2063
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Christmas comes early for Mulder when he and Scully are enlisted to investigate a series of suspicious deaths in the gay porno community. For Skinner, however, the situation nearly drives him into the waiting arms of the Jehovah's Witness faith. He still totally bangs Mulder, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    644
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Skinner shows up at Mulder's for his Regular Saturday Night Thing, he finds a flamboyantly gay imbecile has taken his lover's place. Is it a government conspiracy? Has Mulder finally snapped? Or is it merely badfic?

    Okay, fine. It's badfic. Way to spoil the suspense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,493
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    238

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