lemonistas



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  1. Public Bookmark 16

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    Summary

    "So why the fuck are you here?”

    Erin looks at Roman, loitering next to her mom’s desk, trying to be subtle as he rearranges all the pens, and decides why the hell not, adult life is already so weird.

    “I got dumped and instead of just getting drunk about it, I decided to show up unannounced and ruin my mom’s weekend by demanding to meet her Instagram boyfriend.”

    Roman drops the pen he’s holding and it clatters across the desk.
     
    “Wait, who, Laurie?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,727
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    590

    15 Apr 2022

  2. Public Bookmark 20

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    Summary

    “No offence if I’m about to break some sacred law of feminism, but were you always this hot?”

    “I just gave birth, but if you find the capacity of the female anatomy to create and nurture life ‘hot,’ then that answers your question.”

    “I’m too dumb to know what that meant, but the way you say ‘create and nurture’ is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.”

    “You’re pathetic, Roman. Any woman, even one twice your age who works for your father, pays the slightest bit of attention to you and you’re tripping over your own erection.”

    His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, and she wondered if she’d gone too far. She had no idea why she was talking to her boss’s son this way. Chalk it up to that potent cocktail of postpartum hormones.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,843
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1968

    05 Feb 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “It’s the same tortoise, you fucking airhead.”

  3. Public Bookmark 29

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    Summary

    “I’m just gonna—” he starts, at the same time that Gerri says “Roman, do you genuinely think you would be less fucked up if you were a girl?”

    He says: “Uh.”

    It’s that fucking tone of voice, like, I knew it would be bad, but I didn’t know it would be this bad. Like someone who just saw a cockroach, sighing and rolling up their sleeves to go looking for a thousand more cockroaches. It hits him right in the dick, like a Pavlovian reaction, only if Pavlov fucked the dogs.

    ---

    Gerri, Roman, increasingly convoluted hypotheticals, bad ideas for stress relief, etc.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,035
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1508

    03 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Roman: tell him youre busy talking about my tits
    Gerri: 👍

  4. Public Bookmark 13

    Tags
    Summary

    Fucking roller coasters, man.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,211
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1164

    03 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    It’s easy to pretend it’s just sexual, pretend you’re eternally horned-up and full of bravado, just waiting for your moment to pounce. But the reality is so much more embarrassing. Like, how do you ask for this kind of shit? Hey, Gerri, can you call me your good boy for once? Can you, like, touch my hair until I fall asleep?

  5. Public Bookmark 7

    Tags
    Summary

    ‘So how was Shiv’s?’ she asks instead, crossing out a line of legal with a loud red pen. ‘The letter?’

    Roman scratches his head. His hair is sticking up on one side again. ‘Hm? Oh that old thing. You know. Fuckin’... ugh.’ He swans over to her desk, turns one way then another. Gives Gerri a look like she’s meant to read his mind.

    Roman says no to Shiv's open letter and returns to waystar to jerk off in gerri's office for comfort✌️ its his coping strategy

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,967
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1263

    03 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    He’s ditched that awful aftershave since she told him he smelled like an old money Mediterranean pervert who once tried it on with her, swapped it for something lighter that sits on top of sweat and sex.