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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The latest in magical advancements is an enchantment that reveals the bearer’s romantic compatibility with another person. Effectively eliminating uncertainty from dating, the charm can tell you whether or not you’ve found The One with a precise, Hermione Granger-approved calculation of traits and preferences. It’s a foolproof method of predicting relationship happiness. It’s also, for Hermione, positively dreadful news. Dramione, post-war, soulmate AU. COMPLETE.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,052
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    714
    Kudos:
    1399
    Bookmarks:
    303
    Hits:
    20213

    06 Nov 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The last real thing Harry remembers is standing across from Voldemort and watching the killing curse fly at his face.

    Then he visited a fluffy white limbo that somewhat resembles King Cross Station and instead of choosing to move on or go back he does something else entirely.

    And wakes up in his cupboard on the morning of Dudley's eleventh birthday.

    Because that makes sense.

    (No. No it doesn't.)

    But Harry is going to roll with it anyway.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,665
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1099
    Kudos:
    6488
    Bookmarks:
    2132
    Hits:
    60033

    04 Nov 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Imagine how pissed off you would be if you somehow ended up in Middle Earth in time to help, but you didn’t speak Westron. Or Sindarin. Or Khuzdul. All you have are proper nouns, and some random phrases like Mellon, and Amralime, and, oh yeah, the inscription from the One ring. because that’s going to go over well when you start spouting off long forgotten verse in the black tongue of Mordor….
    So instead of eloquently explaining yourself and saving lives and falling in love with a character of your choice, you have to chase them around like a slightly more verbose Hodor, trying to learn a language and keep the dumb bastards alive.
    ------------------
    Well, it had to happen to someone eventually, and Pissed Off is definitely the way to describe it when it happens to her. But she still tries to do her duty to the fandom and keep the Durins alive just in case it isn't a nightmare after all.
    _____
    Most frequent comment: "I never like OCs and I love this one"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    314,576
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2346
    Kudos:
    3427
    Bookmarks:
    968
    Hits:
    60888

    15 Oct 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It starts with a swan. What happens after that is a bit of a mystery. 2018 advent story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,041
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    465
    Kudos:
    1733
    Bookmarks:
    422
    Hits:
    20413

    02 Oct 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In 1993, Gilderoy Lockhart points a stolen wand at Harry Potter and Ron Weasley with the intent to Obliviate them.

    The wand doesn't backfire. Gilderoy's "discovery" of the Chamber of Secrets is a short-term success.

    Other consequences are not short-term at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    352,344
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    4020
    Kudos:
    5560
    Bookmarks:
    2092
    Hits:
    118015

    24 Sep 2019