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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Luo Binghe develops a gap in his memory, one that is shaped specifically like Shen Qingqiu.


    “Binghe, speak to this master,” Shen Qingqiu says firmly, and Luo Binghe gives him a strange look. Shen Qingqiu can’t place it and he leans forward, intending to get closer to see better. But the hand around his wrist instantly tightens to the point where it hurts, and Shen Qingqiu lets out a squawk of pain.

    “Binghe—!”

    “Why do you keep calling me like that?” Luo Binghe returns, and Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen at the way the words are devoid of any emotion. It is nothing though, compared to the force of what Luo Binghe says next. “Who are you?”

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    19 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    冰失忆了(只失去了关于沈的记忆),对沈冷漠,警惕。恢复后特别内疚
    “This disciple was too cruel to Shizun,” Luo Binghe says. “I… I remember how I behaved around Shizun when I lost my memory. This one had been callous and had not treated Shizun with the respect he deserves. I do not deserve Shizun’s kindness.”

    “Who are you to chose whether you deserve it or not?” Shen Qingqiu demands instantly, and Luo Binghe shakes his head.

    “Shizun was hurt because of me,” Luo Binghe says, and Shen Qingqiu can see the way his eyes brim with wet tears. The fact that they aren’t spilling already shows great restraint on Luo Binghe’s part, and even greater sorrow. “He...I saw…”

    It comes in flashes to Shen Qingqiu, and makes his heart twinge. Luo Binghe calling out to him. The surprised expression on his face, and the dawning horror as the temple fell around them. The way he looked right before Shen Qingqiu had passed out. Shen Qingqiu grimaces at the memory, but holds on tight to Luo Binghe’s hand.

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Liu Qingge insists on guarding Shen Qingqiu while he's being held in the Water Prison, Shen Qingqiu goes to trial, and the Old Palace Master tries to force his hand by using a truth-finding artifact. The results aren't what anyone was expecting.

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    18 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    庭审时用吐真剂,暴露身份
    Shen Qingqiu tightened and loosened his grip on his fan. “I never understood why Shen Jiu hated him so much,” he said, almost to himself. “Having him sleep in a woodshed rather than an actual room, permitting other disciples to bully him, punishing him harshly for minor infractions, even allowing him to cultivate from a manual designed to push him into qi deviation.”

    He shut his eyes. “It’s a miracle that he survived before I arrived. I undid the damage as soon as I could, and he assumed that everything from before was extreme training. And then I betrayed him.”

    It was an ugly but unsurprising revelation about his predecessor which also contextualized Shen Qingqiu’s grief from recent years. Qi Qingqi still thought it was excessive, but she could understand how his grief might have been compounded by guilt, regret, and futility. As incredible as his story was, Qi Qingqi believed him. It must have been a heavy weight to carry by himself, especially since he seemed determined to pretend the weight didn’t exist at all.

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shi-Shizun,” Luo Binghe says, going cross-eyed in an effort to see what Shen Qingqiu just placed on his forehead. “What is this?”

    “A star,” Shen Qingqiu explains, while not explaining at all.

    or, Shen Qingqiu has a sticker sheet.

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    18 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    小贴纸。
    “Did they fall off?” Shen Qingqiu questions.

    Luo Binghe flinches, then nods, his face pinching up. “I- Shizun, I promised I was making sure they stayed on carefully. I thought I didn’t touch it at all. But I still ruined it. I accept any punishment,” Luo Binghe finishes solemnly.

    “What punishment? This isn’t something you have to worry about. Just throw them away if they no longer stay on.”

    Luo Binghe looks horrified at the suggestion. “I won’t throw them away! These are the ones Shizun gave me.”

    Shen Qingqiu hums. “Binghe will definitely get more. These wouldn’t have lasted forever to begin with. They are only made to stay sticky for a day or two, and then you throw them out. Getting them wet will also make them more prone to falling off.”

    Luo Binghe still looks upset.

    “They’re not made to last forever,” Shen Qingqiu explains again. “Shizun is not upset with you.”

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Luo Binghe wakes up on the day of the Immortal Alliance Conference.

    He thinks he would have been more excited if he hadn’t already lived through this yesterday.

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    18 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Luo Binghe shakes his head. “This isn’t an accusation. Shizun, I just want to understand. Won’t you tell me?”

    “I can’t.”

    The words are whispered, and almost lost in the noise around them.

    Luo Binghe hears them anyway. “What does that mean, Shizun?”

    Shen Qingqiu swallows. “I can’t,” he repeats. “I can’t tell you. I can only tell you that I... I can’t change this.” Each word plucked carefully, like someone is watching over his shoulder to make sure he stays in line.

    Luo Binghe will think harder on the implications of that later, but first, he relishes in the fact that finally, finally he has an answer.

  5. Public Bookmark 85

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    Luo Binghe loses control of his dreamscape again, however this time, it's him and not his shizun who ends up seeing an alternate reality.

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    18 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    冰进入了沈的惩罚系统,目击到了愿世界的他对师尊的残忍对待。
    “Binghe- why are you looking away?”

    Luo Binghe stayed silent for a moment. He then explained with difficulty, “i-in my dream… I was doing… unspeakable things to shizun.”

    Shen Qingqiu didn’t say anything, at first. He then laughed softly. “Don’t you already do unspeakable things to me on a daily basis, right on this bed? I-“

    “Shizun,” Luo Binghe cut him off, his voice shaking. “I’m not talking about this. I-It was…”

    Horrific, Luo Binghe tried to say but couldn’t. Seeing shizun in pain because of me and getting thrilled from it, I wish I could cut off my own limbs to offer to him, as well as rip out my eyes for the sight I had to witness.