howevernot



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    An exploration of events after the end of the world.

    Title borrowed from a Paul Celan poem.

    Words:
    23,786
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    3
  2. Summary

    These absolutely do not need to be read in order, plotwise they are not dependent on each other but they do all go together.

    Words:
    32,920
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    72

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 20

    Tags
    Summary

    Cas stayed against the wall where Dean had shoved him. His arms hung at his sides, and he considered Dean with a steady gaze.

    Dean felt his heart thudding in his ears, and he cleared his throat. "What are you staring at me like that for?”

    Cas squinted slightly and his head slowly tilted, like he just needed to see Dean at a slightly different angle, and Dean’s body went hot and tense.

    “You want me to hurt you,” Cas said carefully, and Dean’s stomach dropped.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,375
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    163
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    953

    14 Jan 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I wish I could stand,” Cas says.

    “Yeah,” Dean says.

    Cas holds up his hand, flexes it, stares and then drops it.

    “This weakness is unsettling. I can’t—I can’t even hold a pitcher of water, Dean.”

    Dean makes a small sound in his throat, a non-committal hum.

    He’s done soaping up Cas’ hair. He grabs the sponge at his side and starts to scrub at Cas’ skin, up along his arms, his neck, down his chest. When he runs it up his legs, to his thighs, Cas shudders and then there’s a hand cupping Dean’s cheek, cold and dripping water and soap, and Dean falters, looks at him for the first time.

    “Will you sleep with me?” Cas says. “Tonight?”

    Dean swallows.

    He says yes.

    After Lucifer's possession, Castiel stops talking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,970
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    1409
    Bookmarks:
    284
    Hits:
    21448

    13 Jan 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    348
    Kudos:
    7410
    Bookmarks:
    1465
    Hits:
    68660

    11 Jan 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it...Cas is a weird, tactless, ornery guy. His idea of a job is selling weed out of their shared cabin, his idea of fun is occasional orgies, and he has more creepy dolls and crystals than anyone of their age ever should.

    But he's also Dean's childhood best friend, and now he's the star of all Dean's wildest fantasies.

    Then there's the whole "being in love with him" thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,907
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    680
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    8368

    09 Jan 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

    Art by anobviousaside.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,738
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    3456
    Bookmarks:
    1193
    Hits:
    62573

    05 Jan 2021