dwalinfuckinson



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Smaug never came. Thror was overtaken by gold sickness, and his son Thrain banished to his death.

    What happens when Thorin has to take over a broken kingdom? What happens when an unconventional gift, in the form of one Bilbo Baggins, is left him by his grandfather's horrid soldiers?

    Updates will be slow, more tags to be added.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115,663
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    754
    Kudos:
    1036
    Bookmarks:
    228
    Hits:
    17806

    04 Sep 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,653
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    507
    Kudos:
    1806
    Bookmarks:
    700

    21 Aug 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    There was a click as Bilbo thrust open his door and glared out on Dwalin’s grave face.
    “Did Thorin send you?” demanded Bilbo, too incensed to care about propriety.
    “He wants to see you,” rumbled Dwalin. “He’s sorry.”
    “I like that!” shouted Bilbo. “Oh, I like that, very much! Well, you can tell the king, he can bloody well come and tell me himself, if he can find the time out of his busy schedule, and if it so pleases him!” and he slammed the door in Dwalin’s face.
    *
    Things have changed ever since Thorin's gold-sickness, and Bilbo no longer knows what to think of his relationship with Thorin. When he becomes the object of affections from a new dwarf friend of his, Thorin's seemingly-easy acceptance of their relationship both infuriates and confuses him.
    or, the one where Bilbo is courted, and Thorin doesn't want to interfere, bc he is NOT a dark fuck prince, and he wants Bilbo to be happy most of all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,152
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    513
    Bookmarks:
    129
    Hits:
    4828

    21 Aug 2019

  4. Public Bookmark 15

    Words:
    259,750
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    15

    12 Aug 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A group of starving, destitute dwarves moves into the abandoned smithy. A bored, lonely--and frankly, nosy--Bilbo just wants to help. What he gets is a whole lot more.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,042
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    430
    Kudos:
    826
    Bookmarks:
    195
    Hits:
    8353

    07 Jun 2019

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