covertpartyhat



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    “I want it on record that I think this is a terrible idea and I’m only doing this to mitigate the damage."
    AKA
    Red Robin decides it's a great idea to livestream patrol while Batman's off-world. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    12
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    178
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    09 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Barbara chuckled and patched Jason’s comms into the livestream. “Hey, Hood, welcome to the livestream.”

    “The what?”

    Barbara got a great shot from a security camera of Hood with his hands on his hips, radiating confusion and disbelief. “We’re live-streaming on Twitch,” she said, purposefully casual. “It was Red’s idea.”

    “….oh Batman’s gonna kill you.” Hood sounded gleeful. “He might actually break his number one rule.”

    “Fuck off, Hood,” Tim said.

    “Right back atchya.”

    “Does that mean you don’t want to be part of the livestream?” Barbara asked.

    “We’ll only mock you forever for being a pussy if you don’t,” Steph said.

    Hood rocked back on his heels and looked directly at the security camera. “You kidding? A chance to piss Batman off and tackle Red into a dumpster? I’m in.”

    Tim yelped in protest but everyone else just laughed.

    “Patching your mask cam now,” Barbara said. A seventh video feed appeared on the screen. “Red got Batgirl who got you. Happy hunting.”

    “You fuckers better watch out,” Jason said, feral grin obvious in his voice.

    “And you better change those gloves before you try to tag anyone,” Steph said. “I don’t want some random person’s blood on me.”

    “Blood?” Dick inquired, punching a mugger’s nose in. Barbara had seen the move coming and blew up his feed for that second. The irony was too good to miss, and from the clips that immediately started dropping, the internet agreed.

    “Serial rapist,” Jason said proudly. “I made sure he couldn’t, ah- reoffend.”

  2. Rec *

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    Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.”

    “Absolutely not,” Bruce said.

    Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.

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    06 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Bruce! You didn’t tell me you had a young lady over!” Steph announced, pushing her way into the library. Selina was reclined comfortably on the couch, her feet in Bruce’s lap. He glared at Steph, clearly understanding that she was about to pull some shit.

    That did not deter Steph in the slightest.

    She set the tray she’d brought down, put her hands on her hips, and looked Selina over. “Miss, I have to ask what your intentions are.”

    Bruce rubbed his temples, like he was developing a headache.

    Selina let a slow smile cross her face. “Purely nefarious, I promise.”

    Bruce’s hand dropped over his eyes. Steph was pretty sure he was trying to will them both away.

    “Well then,” Steph said, reaching down to the tray -- it featured juice boxes, graham crackers, and apple slices -- and lifting the lid off a little covered dish, revealing the glow-in-the-dark condoms inside. “Always remember protection! We don’t want any more little accidents running around swinging swords!”

    Bruce was absolutely going to murder her, but it was worth it to get to watch Selina fall off the couch laughing.

    “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” Steph called over her shoulder as she fled the room to hide forever.

  3. Rec *

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    Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    195,252
    Chapters:
    46/46
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    26 Apr 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “I’m sure I will. So what are these plans that require I have a giant ass TV?”

    Kori smiled. “I’ve copied all of Love Across Galaxies.”

    Jason blinked. “Which is?”

    “The most popular television show in at least three galaxies. I’ve heard very good things.”

    Jason grinned wide. “Yeah?”

    Koriand’r smiled in response. “Yes.”

    “I adore you,” Jason declared fervently and Kori looked incredibly pleased herself. He’d gotten hooked on Kori’s space soap operas while they’d all been living on her ship. He’d never had a TV as a kid, and he hadn’t had much time for popular culture when living on the streets. He’d missed out on a lot of TV, music, and movies. He hadn’t caught up all that much while being Robin. A night life of crime fighting didn’t leave much time for that stuff either. And then he’d been dead and there was none of that when he was stuck with Ra’s, and very little when he was doing his revenge march through Gotham. Once the Outlaws got together, Roy took Jason’s pop culture education very seriously. He was constantly introducing Jason to shows and movies and music and shit. It was Kori’s space shows that had really hooked him though, and he and Kori watched them together all the time. Roy would join them occasionally, but he never really got into them. It was a thing between Kori and Jason.

    “I also brought intergalactic junk food.”

    “Well, what are we waiting for?” Jason declared and they settled onto the battered couch. Four hours later, they’d barely moved but there was a plethora of trash around them and they were arguing the nuances of inter-species relationships.

    “It’s doomed to failure,” Kori said for the third time. “He is X’mar and she is Zimidian. Their romance can’t endure.”

    “Bullshit! It’s true love, Kori. Don’t be racist!” Jason declared fervently, because nothing would ever convince him that K’thar and Zanda weren’t absolutely meant to be. He was very invested in their romance.

    “It’s not racism, Jason,” Kori protested immediately. “They are different species. Their species are anatomically incompatible!”

    “It’s true love,” he stressed again, because Kori clearly wasn’t getting it. “They love each other! They can get past the physical aspect. He doesn’t even care about that anyway—he just wants to be with her.”

    “They’re biologically incompatible too,” Kori argued. “His life span is a fraction of hers. He will have a full life with his love but she will suffer his loss for a century.”

    “A century of happiness for a century of pain,” Jason countered. “Not a bad trade for your soul mate.”

    Kori sighed in exasperation. “It makes no sense,” she declared again.

    “It’s love; it doesn’t have to make sense,” Jason retorted. “Think of Roy. We love Roy. Tell me; where’s the sense in that?” he demanded.

  4. Rec *

    Summary

    MCU and Marvel TV verse collide in this series. Mostly Spider-Man and Daredevil centric, but the Defenders and Avengers make plenty of appearances along with a whole lot of Deadpool.

    Words:
    228,353
    Works:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1,155

    24 Aug 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “School?” Deadpool asks, his face oddly expressive even through the mask. “How old are you?”

     

    Peter looks to Matt quickly for an out, but he just shrugs vaguely. The slight upward pull at the corner of his mouth shows that he’s amused, that jackass.

     

    “Umm I’m twenty,” Peter tries, and his attempt at making his voice sound more mature is so laughable that even Matt can’t keep the smile off his face any longer.

     

    “Uh uh, Spidey. College kids say ‘class’. You said school,” Deadpool replies, his arms crossed over his chest.

     

    Peter sighs and tosses another look at Matt before thumping his head back against the brick wall of the alley they’re all hiding in. “Almost sixteen,” he mutters.

     

    Deadpool full on chokes on the air. “You’re fifteen?!” he shrieks in the loudest whisper Peter’s ever heard (and he’s friends with theater kids). “You’re too young to fight crime! You can’t even drive!”

     

    “I can’t drive either,” Matt replies, just to be chaotic.

     

    “It’s New York-- nobody needs to know how to drive,” Deadpool says, blowing him off.

     

    “Then why’s it such a big deal that I can’t drive?” Peter counters.

     

    “Because you couldn’t get a license even if you wanted!”

     

    “Neither can I,” Matt points out again, earning himself a glare from Deadpool.

     

    The two of them stare each other down for a minute, and there’s definitely some eyebrow raising going on beneath both of their masks before Deadpool throws his hands in the air and sighs. “Fine. Fine, whatever. See if I care that someone tried to hire me to kill a little baby!”

     

    “Wait, what?!” Peter asks, standing to attention as Matt adjusts his stance similarly.

     

    “Don’t get your onesies in a wad-- I didn’t do it! The guy offered me 10k. Ten K! For a superhuman hero! A child superhuman hero!” Deadpool laments, before glancing back down at his phone when it buzzes and switching the topic so fast it makes Peter’s head spin. “Our guy’s in Manhattan. Mount Sinai West.”

     

    Matt doesn’t seem thrown off at all by the abrupt change in conversation. “How the hell did you get that so fast?”

     

    “I added him on Snapchat. Duh,” Deadpool replies, tapping one of Matt’s horns. Peter swears he hears the man say ‘boop’ under his breath before he turns to look at the youngest member of their trio. “Snap maps are a hitman’s best friend, kiddo.”

     

    Peter makes a mental note to set his location so nobody can see it.

     

    “We have a location. Let’s go,” Matt says, but before he can take more than a step, Deadpool grabs him by the arm.

     

    “We are not fucking walking to the Upper West Side,” he says. “I’m calling a cab.” Deadpool goes to his contacts list and scrolls until he finds one that simply has every heart emoji ever as the name.

     

    A single minute conversation later, and apparently Deadpool’s cab-driving friend is on his way to come get them. Peter’s wandered over towards the other end of the alley to investigate the graffiti painted there.

     

    “I spy with my little eye… something red,” Deadpool sing-songs closer towards the entrance of the alley after a couple minutes of blessed silence.

     

    There’s silence for a beat followed by a defeated sigh and Matt saying, “Is it you?”

     

    “Nope!”

     

    “Is it me?”

     

    “Nada!”

     

    “Is it Spider-Man?”

     

    “Yahtzee! Your turn,” Deadpool says with a grin.

     

    Matt looks Deadpool straight in the face. “I spy a colossal dumbass.”

     

    Peter realizes it’s going to be a long wait for the cab.

  5. Public Bookmark 29

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    There are not a plethora of druids in Beacon Hills, and the Hale pack is no longer considered particularly illustrious. This means that their Emissary situation needs a little… creativity.

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    17 Oct 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “I tried texting everyone last night and you ignored it,” Finstock says, like that’s a totally normal reason to hex people. Like most people don’t ignore 3 AM texts by sleeping through them. “And it wasn’t dark magic. It was a standard enchantment.”

    Stiles groans tiredly. Having Coach as an Emissary has been an... interesting experiment so far. Stiles made it halfway there himself before taking the Bite, and that meant... well, someone had to do it. And there were only so many people in Beacon Hills crazy enough to get involved with a wolf pack. Even fewer whose crazy wasn’t the kill-everyone kind.

    All to say, Stiles knows stuff about magic, and anything with this amount of ill will involved is absolutely fair to call a hex.

    “That still doesn’t tell us why you’re trying to get ahold of us at this hour,” Derek says, catching Stiles’ arm and dragging him over to sit on the tree trunk with him.

    Coach blows sharply on his whistle. “Watch the lip, Hale. And next time do the assigned reading.”

    “Wait, we had reading?” Isaac asks.

    Finstock pulls his binder out from under his arm, flipping it open. Light emits from the pages and casts shadows on his face. “I sent everyone the link to this on Thursday. What are you idiots even using the group chat for?”

    “Uh... memes, mostly.” Stiles yawns and leans against Derek’s shoulder.

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