considering_lilies



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  1. Public Bookmark 90

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    Alarmed at the population changes the war wrought, the Wizengamot has enacted a "marriage law": every witch between twenty and forty must get pregnant or prove she's at least making regular attempts. (More like a sex law, really - luckily someone realized marriage isn't strictly required for making babies.) Hermione Granger has finished her arithmancy mastery and has no intention of settling down or having children yet. Especially with Ron, who doesn't understand why she'd need a career. Or see the problem with government-mandated copulation.

    Thus, a bargain with the devil: she approaches her former potions professor for help. Severus Snape is intelligent, practical, and adept with memory magic, which makes him a perfect candidate for "making attempts." If he'd agree to regular sessions of sex and then obliviating her afterward, she could follow the letter of the stupid law and give the baby up for adoption without having to go through the messy unpleasantness of sex and derailing her life.

    If only life were that simple.

    Language:
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    8,204
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    11 Nov 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

    What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

    (It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

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    Language:
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    194,739
    Chapters:
    19/19
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    3559
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    1030
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    02 Apr 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When no good deed goes unpunished, Dean ends up sentenced to community service for physically defending another Omega at his job. That is, at his former job. It's all a steaming pile of shit, and that's exactly what he has to clean up at the joint animal shelter and clinic he's been assigned to.

    With a face full of allergies and a horrific mood, all Dean has to do is get through six weeks of this sinus-assaulting torture. That's not so easy with a smartass Alpha receptionist, but at least the weird Beta vet might just end up being kinda cool.

    Language:
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    27,838
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    03 Aug 2018

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Cecil Palmer is the best phone sex operator in the small company called Night Vale. One night, a slightly tipsy and very lonely scientist dials his number, and gets far more than he bargained for - a late night conversation about advanced biochemistry, a brand new fetish for surreal horror, a surprisingly reasonable internship program, some newts, and slowly, strangely, the love of his life.

    Language:
    English
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    24,056
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    790
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    942
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    08 Jul 2017

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Cecil is tongue-tied when he's with Carlos, but he's never at a loss for words when he's on the air.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    81
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    626
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    28 Apr 2017