chasingsquirrels



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    Steve is at her door in his uniform. And okay, yeah, Darcy's had some pretty fantastic dreams that have started like this before, but usually she's not in her sushi pajama bottoms and her CLINTON '08 t-shirt, rocking hair she hasn't washed in two days that is currently doing an awesome imitation of a badly groomed poodle on top of her head.

    "Sorry, Darcy," he says quietly. "Assemble order."

    Darcy is realllll slow on the uptake at ass 'ofuckingclock in the morning, so she just kind of gapes at him like a dying trout that's been plucked out of the water. She forgot her glasses in her room, so Steve - and the rest of the world - is a bit blurry, and her brain is just not firing on all cylinders.

    "My shield," Steve says, clearly embarrassed. He doesn't have his cowl-y helmet thing on and he scratches his head and then his ear, looking anywhere but at her.

    "Ohhhhh," Darcy replies, turning around to lurch back to her bedroom like a yeti.

    --

    Seven times the Avengers' weapons have liked Darcy better (and one time the Avenger liked her even more).

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    24 Dec 2020

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    "Jane's cute," Clint says, shoveling yet another sloppy joe into his pie-hole. Darcy has been watching him inhale a disturbing amount of food for the last half-hour. This is why she likes eating lunch with the guys instead of why-yes-I'd-love-some-brussel-sprouts-on-the-side Sharon. They're good for her ego. She may eat like a hippo, but she'll never eat as much as Steve, Clint, or Barnes. "She's totally on my FUCK shortlist."

    All of a sudden the crystal clear sky outside cracks with the loudest thunder Darcy has ever heard in her life. The windows rattle. Everyone freezes. Darcy can practically hear everyone's assholes tighten in fear.

    Because across the commissary, Thor is looking at their table.

    And it ain't raining panties this time. Just righteous, godly anger.

    --

    The dudes finally play MARRY FUCK KILL, not-so-Avengers edition. (Because there's like ONE actual female Avenger. Thanks, SHIELD.)

    Wherein no one follows the rules, everyone still kills Tony, the Mets suck, (lots of theoretical threesomes?!), and Darcy turns Clint into a hypothetical honey badger.

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    24 Dec 2020

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    Darcy Lewis wasn't the sort to die for six college credits any more than she was the sort to live in abject poverty to cover her student loans. So the stripping wasn't the worst thing she could do.

    Getting involved with masked Avengers, however... not brilliant.

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    23 Dec 2020

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    Tom Riddle is pretending to be infatuated with her. Hermione wants to know why.

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    22 Dec 2020

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    George Cooper sees Alan Olau working at a coffee shop. For some reason, Alan has breasts now.

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    28 Nov 2020