YOU MATCHED WITH TOBI ON TUESDAY.
Tobi: cum 2 my castle tonite
Yamato: Hello to you too. Can I ask about the pictures? It’s hard to see what you look like.
Tobi: ull see what i look like soon enough
Yamato: You’re kinda weird. Lucky I like that. Where do you live?
Tobi: the woods
Yamato: I’m going to bet you don’t get a lot of matches on here, huh?
Tobi: why would u say that
(Art by beetlebee, writing by keepyourpantsongohan)
"The fall of Uzushio collapsed our economy, our protections. You might think I'm being rosy, but they really cared about us. And they knew how to party. You know they had a seal that could swap body parts? Wildest night of my life,” the boatman’s eyes go distant for a long moment, “...but you kids are too young to hear about that.
“Anyway,” he continues, “our economy’s been a shambles since; maybe gets going for a year or two before it collapses again. No security of stability, so assholes like Gato think they can waltz in here and take charge. Boy, he'd be singing a different tune if the Uzumaki were still around."
Sakura’s eyes widen a bit at that, and even Sasuke looks up. Naruto opens his mouth to say something, but Kakashi puts a firm hand on his shoulder.
“What an… illuminating piece of history,” says Kakashi, “Thank you for sharing.”
(Kiri may have won the battle, but not the war. The island of Uzushio might not be as dead as previously believed.
All Kakashi knows now is that he really should have refused that mission to Wave.
An island lives, people change, foxes laugh, and Team Seven goes on a wild journey!)
“And you know what’s even worse?” Yamato asks. “It’s my birthday, today, too. Not that anyone ever does much, but it’s my day.” He sighs and leans forward, cupping his face with his hands. “So much for that.”
“It’s... it’s your birthday?” Obito asks, a strange expression briefly crossing his face.
Yamato pauses. It occurs to him it might not be a universal celebrated concept. “Oh, I guess I should explain—“
“Oh, we know what a birthday is,” Kakashi interrupts, but his eyes are glittering.
Obito huffs and rolls his eyes. “From that weird text of yours—“
“From an *excellent* tome of human culture,” Kakashi cuts in.
(Yamato meets some aliens, and their interpretation of a gift.)
Two shining, reflecting eyes are staring right at Kakashi. It’s a person, at first glance, holding some kind of ring of fire. Kakashi opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the person steps closer, and he realizes that the ring of fire seems to be dancing along his shoulders, where protrusions—tendrils—are breaking through from the skin. The skin itself is pale, green tinged, and speckled with scales along the being's right side. Which is nothing compared to the horns sticking straight out of his head. Or the—wow, the *incredible* lack of clothing.
This alien seals it: Kakashi's absolutely high. And should maybe stop reading so much Icha Icha.
(Kakashi's crew goes to answer a distress signal on a seemingly abandoned satellite. And then the story goes in three wildly different directions.)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
29 Jul 2019
“I,” declares James Potter, “am an utter genius.”
(It’s hard to get a werewolf to sit down for a game of Monopoly, as it turns out.)