aphelius



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  1. Public Bookmark 31

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    Summary

    “Dirk, did you … have a nightmare?”

     

    “I mean, for a given definition of nightmare, sure, I suppose, but then, what are dreams? What are visions? What is reality? What is –”

     

    “It’s okay,” Todd interrupts, knowing how to stop a Dirk spiral in its tracks. “I had a bad dream too.”

    ***

    Todd Brotzman is not a caring kind of person. He's just some asshole with a guilt complex a mile long.

    But he really loves taking care of Dirk Gently.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,829
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1325

    14 Jul 2019

  2. Public Bookmark 13

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    Summary

    “Oh, listen to Dirk. He’s a bathing goods psychic.”
    “I am not a psychic. I simply don’t always concern myself with such petty things as employee protocol and company script. I see the solution to each customer’s needs as being detectable in the pattern and web of the whole. The connections between bathing rituals and physical-mental health are often much more subtle and complex than we, with our rough and ready understanding of cocoa butter, might naturally suppose.”

    -

    Todd goes into a bath bomb store to get a present for Amanda and meets an overeager sales assistant. Self-examination, and - dare I say it - romance ensues.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,436
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Comments:
    207
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1241

    13 Jul 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Even from a young age, he isn’t a romantic. It’s around third grade that kids start writing to their Match, eight year olds asking questions about their name, where they’re from, what they like, who they are. Todd doesn’t. He’s not really into the idea of Matches, even if it’s something he can’t change. People fall in love with people. If he falls in love, he’s not going to fall in love with someone who he knows only from ink on his arms that he didn’t put there.

    Whoever his Match is, however, does not feel the same way. His left arm (so he must be right handed) is covered with doodles. Crude flowers drawn with what looks like ballpoint pens, so lots of skipping and gaps in the lines. Sometimes the outlines of hearts that look like fountain pens, but are smudged quickly, the ink running too hard.

    Soulmate AU where anything you write on your arm appears visible on your soulmate's. Written for the Dirk Gently Big Bang 2017.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    1261
    Bookmarks:
    287
    Hits:
    11608

    06 Jul 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "My old landlord wrote to me yesterday, and apparently I need to go and pick up my things or he'll throw them in a skip."

    "A what?" Todd asks, sitting down heavily on the sofa.

    *

    Dirk and Todd go to London.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,810
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    979
    Kudos:
    1577
    Bookmarks:
    254
    Hits:
    19093

    06 Jul 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A modern magical comedy very loosely based on Ugly Betty. Publishing king Uther Pendragon has had enough of his playboy son seducing every female assistant he has ever had so he hires Merlin, a man he is sure Arthur will never sleep with. Merlin would be more insulted by this fact if he wasn’t so busy trying to juggle his duties, save Arthur's skin from ruthless fashionistas and keep his magic a secret at the same time. Expect appearances by oil-lathered knights, the occasional mad druid, a perverted Will and a mental caretaker who lives in the basement and keeps harping on about coins and destiny.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,645
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    574
    Kudos:
    7008
    Bookmarks:
    3032
    Hits:
    185706

    01 Mar 2019