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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "All you need to know," Crowley tells Adam, "is that it's Aziraphale's fault."

    "That is actually even more than I need to know," Adam assures them, his expression pained.

    In 6,000-odd years, Aziraphale only got discorporated once, and Crowley managed to avoid it altogether. So people should really stop judging them for cramming a bunch of discorporations in over a decade or so. Statistically, they're doing great.

    Or: Five times Crowley and Aziraphale got stupidly discorporated and the former Antichrist had to put them back together again. Plus one time they got to fuck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,179
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1147
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "Perhaps we could assist you with the …subjugation… of this angel," Winifred suggested, which made Crowley groan again and Anathema cringe. Aziraphale just rolled his eyes. "You see, I still have a connection to my Book, and I need to bring it back to Hell with me."

    "This book? With the eyeball?" Crowley looked at it, and then up at Aziraphale, who smiled at him. The demon turned back to Winifred. "That's not happening."

    The Sanderson sisters have been in Hell for some three hundred years and have still not had the pleasure of being introduced to Satan. But Winifred thinks she has a way to rectify that, if only she can get her hands on her Book. Luckily, some angel put it on an unprotected shelf, where it's able to find itself a witch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    246
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Can I…?" Adam waits, and when Warlock doesn't answer, he inches forward and slides his free hand around Warlock's back. He pulls Warlock up against his chest. His raincoat shudders in the wind and hits Warlock's sides. "The Antichrist thing, it's just. Reality, it built up to this point, and it expected that, um."

    "You'd grind the world beneath your heel."

    Adam touches his forehead to Warlock's. "But that was never me."

    "Same," Warlock blurts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,180
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    119
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Crawly let his wings vanish, so he matched Aziraphale. "What's the 'something'? The thing Earth has that Hell doesn't?"

    Aziraphale stared at him for a long minute. "You actually want to know," he said, and it wasn't a question.

    Called to witness the smiting of the Tower of Babel and then to visit Heaven (Michael thinks it'll do him good), Crawly eventually finds himself drawn back to the city he watched destroyed. The second time around it's ruled by a queen, flanked by the most impressive mortal gardens he's ever seen, and is also apparently Aziraphale's new base of operations.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,318
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    26
    Hits:
    138
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Go back to sleep," Cornelius murmured. His thumb moved in an arc over Augustine's bare skin. "It's three in the morning."

    "I think I should go," Augustine said, slowly.

    Cornelius's hand stilled. The next thing he said sounded significantly more awake than the last. "Is it because Zeus woke you up?"

    This thing with Cornelius is… just a thing. It has to be. Anything else is messy, which Augustine does not do. He tells himself this repeatedly, because otherwise having Rogan check up on him and going to Cornelius's house in the middle of the night would mean something more than a casual acquaintanceship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,131
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    22
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dani squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. "I need your help."

    "Is your bed on fire again?" Billy asked.

    Dani has ended up with a problem she really, really doesn't want to admit to having. And who better to keep her secrets - or to help - than a dead man?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,445
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    51
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Our definitions of fun may be disparate," Aziraphale said, casting his eyes up and back down again. Not quite rolling them. Thank fuck.

    Lucifer glanced at Crowley and then back at Aziraphale. "Not that dissimilar," he said. And he grinned at Crowley's breath catching.

    It's been a week since Lucifer invited himself to Crowley and Aziraphale's night at the theater. Now a set of very surprising gifts has arrived at the bookshop, along with an invitation-slash-summons to Crowley's flat. Except Crowley refuses to meet the Morningstar in his own flat, so they just … don't go. It even works! For a few days, anyway. Lucifer has plans and he won't be put off from them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,896
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    921
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "Are you here to thwart me?"

    "You're quite suspicious, for an angel." The smile on the demon's face was almost fond.

    A thousand years past Eden and just after the Flood, Heaven sends Crawly to help Noah's family. Who are still bothered about there being only one unicorn, slightly concerned about the single giant serpent dozing by the lake, and have (blessedly) not noticed a third swan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,238
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    206
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "Sounds romantic," Lucifer said, lifting his hand from Crowley to stroke a finger along the slope of Aziraphale's shoulder. He brought his hand up and moved his thumb along the stripe of Aziraphale's neck left bare above his collar.

    Aziraphale's breath snagged, and Crowley's with it. He didn't think Aziraphale noticed. He found it hard to start breathing again, actually, even while Aziraphale dug his fingers hard against Crowley's hand.

    They'd planned for a quiet night at the theater, but when the usher takes Crowley and Aziraphale to their seats, they find they've been upgraded to a private box. Very much so - Lucifer does like his privacy. He also likes to watch.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,986
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1918
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "Then… uh…" Crowley tried, failed. "You're here because… uh…"

    "To what do we owe the pleasure?" Aziraphale finished on his behalf, immediately cringing at the wild look Crowley shot him.

    In the days following the Apocalypse that hadn't and the trials that certainly had, Lucifer informs Crowley and Aziraphale that he'd noticed their little trick. And he is… amused.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    272
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1928
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Crawly had wanted more time with the plants, but the animals had been his assignment. So he was intensely familiar with each and every one of them, which was why he didn't have to turn his head to know that the rapidly approaching flap of wings belonged to a swan. Or to know that this swan was not one of his swans.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,123
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    730
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "You know," Aatenel said, lowering his voice, "most people who are graced with my physical form tend to say something in response."

    There had been a ritual greeting he was supposed to use, Pando abruptly remembered. It was like having water dumped on his head. He had fucked this up entirely.

    An unnatural fire threatened Pando's kingdom. The people of Vrae and his Expanse had never before demanded things from each other, so Pando had begged. He agreed to marry a fire god, sight unseen - only the wedding day has come, and the fire god does seem to enjoy what he's seeing now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,900
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    589
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley probably shouldn't have accepted the invitation to dinner, but then he would have missed out on the earthly mother of the son of the Lord saying, "Between the two of us, the Archangel Gabriel's a total prick." And that would have been a real loss.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    731
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "The bottom line is that curses aren't real," Catalina said. But there's a client in their office with a pendant she swears up and down is cursed. The pendant is pretty… weird… but does that mean it's actually cursed?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,052
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    207
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Imani has not had a great few months, since the war ended. Then one of her former soldiers gets herself into a scuffle with a feather-wearing professional duelist - and is far too drunk to fight. Imani steps up as proxy, and wrangles herself an interesting invitation out of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,208
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    244
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Damien doesn't run off during Zero Hour. Actually, he kind of … won't leave. He just can't seem to take no for an answer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,512
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    314
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Satedans are notoriously protective of their homeworld, but when an emergency recalls Ronon home, and Teyla along with him, she finds that the Satedans are hiding even more than she thought possible. And neither of them quite believe these unexpected visitors claiming to be from another galaxy. What are the odds of that?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,881
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    133
  18. Tags
    Summary

    All Joan wants is to have coffee in a quiet spot and not think about anything. All Damien wants is to let her know there's been a recent change in his circumstances.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,402
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1627
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Their ship is ambushed, and Wynn and her knight retreat to a hospital to recuperate. When Piper wakes up in the morning, her healer has vanished - apparently, not of her own will. That kind of thing is enough to piss anyone off.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,492
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    406
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Joan is willing to do a lot for the AM. Damien has a tendency to go where he hasn't been invited.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,996
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    561

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