Zumapi



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There is nothing Simon Snow loves more in life than football. And there's really nothing in Baz Pitch's life other than football.

    Baz Pitch is the star player of Mummers United FC, a low tier club he's singled-handedly put on the maps, along with the tiny northern town of Watford-on-Mummers. Simon Snow is a footie fanatic, founder of the MumU supporter section, and owner of the Sun and Goat pub. He's built a living out of watching Baz play, and it doesn't even matter that they haven't spoken since they were kids. Simon knows, no matter what, Baz Pitch is going to be the greatest player England has ever seen.

    So why is Baz Pitch living in a middle terrace in the middle of nowhere, day drinking and doing (bad) yoga?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,800
    Chapters:
    18/18
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    28 Oct 2023

  2. Public Bookmark 78

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    sorry
    shit
    wow lol
    hope you didn’t see that
    party foul

     

    Daniel sends Max a spicy picture by accident. Max freaks, then deals.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,030
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    475
    Bookmarks:
    78
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    03 Jun 2023

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Heil Hydra,” the enemy agent shouts.

     

    “Heil this, motherfucker,” says Captain America, shooting off a rocket.

    Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1,082
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    11 Jan 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    A classic

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.”

    “What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.

    “Oh, I thought you might,” she said. “Well, goodbye.” And off she wandered again in her addled way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,905
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,140
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    16,321
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    08 Sep 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Adore adore adore

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "Vampires dominate by biting, alpha wolves dominate by fucking. What the hell’s going on between the two of you, I don’t even have a clue."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,951
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    273
    Kudos:
    3,410
    Bookmarks:
    911
    Hits:
    36,176

    25 Aug 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Everything astolat writes is amazing and this is just peak genre