Softdays



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  1. Rec *

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    “I don’t have any money.”

    Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.

    “That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”

    The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”

    Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”

     

    (Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)

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    09 Oct 2019

  2. Rec *

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    “Remember what I said about internet trolls?”

    “Don’t feed the trolls.”

    “Exactly. Did I not say the same thing to Barnes?” Tony asked rhetorically. “Were those not my exact words? I could have sworn they were, and yet.”

    “Bucky’s feeding the trolls?”

    “He’s throwing a goddamn seven-course troll banquet. Every time someone on Twitter asks if your relationship announcement is real, he replies. Colorfully.”

    Steve opened his mouth to ask what “colorfully” meant, then caught the gleam in Tony’s eye and put two and two together. He blushed. Colorfully. “Oh.”

    (Steve and Bucky announce their relationship in a very dignified press conference. Bucky then replies to every goddamn tweet asking him to confirm it with a different dirty euphemism. Things escalate from there.)

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    09 Oct 2019

  3. Rec *

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    AU wherein Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers never met, Steve somehow manages to rescue the Winter Soldier anyway, and Avengers Tower ends up with the world’s angriest duckling and a whole new brand of entertainment.

    -

    (“He was dragging him out of the river,” Natasha argues later.

    “Nat, be honest, he was going for the Full Monty.” Says Clint.

    “I’m pretty sure we interrupted him in the middle of giving ‘emergency CPR’,” Tony agrees, “Or the stage after emergency CPR. Emergency Dick? Is that a thing?”

    “That’s not a thing,” Natasha and Clint reply.)

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    09 Oct 2019

  4. Rec *

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    Steven G. Rogers writes and illustrates the Amazing Adventures series, a set of super obscure children's books about superheroes. Bucky’s daughter thinks these books are the best thing to grace the earth since hot chocolate. Unfortunately, they're nearly impossible to find. But when Nat asks for a signed copy of the new book for her birthday, Bucky promises to do whatever he can to make it happen.

    It all sort of escalates from there.

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    09 Oct 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Mmmhmhmhhm so pure n happy

  5. Rec *

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    “Steve’s been hit with a curse,” Natasha said. She said it calmly, so Bucky didn’t immediately go flying out of the apartment to tear apart the Tower in search of Steve. Then again, Natasha would probably be calm if New York City spontaneously burst into flames. He lowered the coffee pot and squinted at her.

    “Of course he has,” he said. He felt, abruptly, exhausted. “What is it?”

    “The witch kept ranting about sexual repression and archaic moral principles,” she continued blithely.

    “It’s not like you to prevaricate, Romanov.”

    Natasha pressed her lips together. For a moment, Bucky thought she might start laughing. “It might be easier just to show you.”

    OR: Steve’s been hit with a rather telling curse.

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    07 Oct 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Bucky: h-
    Steve: 💕💞💕💞💕💕💞 !!!!!!