SapphoGiveMeStrength



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    Beatrice finds herself musing not over duty and sacrifice and God, but the truth of angels, if they can be created rather than summoned. If they can take the form of women with overeager mouths and careless limbs and eyes with a depth that beckons - a crooked finger, a spiral staircase - if they can be both human and not, both beautiful and terrifying.

    Ava asks, What do you want, Beatrice?

    (Tell me and I’ll give it to you. Tell me and I’ll build you a home there. Tell me and I’ll rearrange the universe to make it all fit, angels and demons be damned. Tell me it’s me. Me. Me.)

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    05 Dec 2022

  2. Public Bookmark 45

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    “You need to shower,” Beatrice said, touching the back of Ava’s neck with a gentle hand.

    Her bones still ached with every movement, her skull still throbbing with a splitting pain. One of her ribs was currently rebuilding itself, smashed to pieces in the fall, and the process was uncomfortable at best, agonizing at worst. Since Ava had gotten the halo, she had been stabbed, been beaten, been broken–but never quite like this. Nothing compared to this. 

    Ava groaned as she stood, and Beatrice was quick in getting to her side. Her eyes were still wide, the terror in them just as fresh as it was hours ago, when Ava had died. She still couldn’t fully wrap her head around the fact that she had died, again. She couldn’t imagine what it was like, what she would have felt if she was the one to hold Beatrice’s broken body, felt her lungs not breathing, her heart not beating. She wouldn’t be able to leave her side, much like Beatrice couldn’t seem to now.

    “Can you help me?” Ava asked, for Beatrice’s sake as much as her own. “I’m not sure I can do it on my own right now.”

    /

    Beatrice and Ava after the fall.

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    04 Dec 2022

  3. Public Bookmark 83

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    Beatrice gathers her pajamas up and heads into the bathroom, but she hesitates just inside the doorframe. After a silent consideration, she turns to look Ava dead in the eye, something unreadable in her gaze.

    Worried, Ava says, “Yes?”

    For a moment, Beatrice doesn’t say anything, just watches Ava with eyes that seem almost sunken into her skull. Then she straightens up, swallows, and delivers her message.

    “Don’t go anywhere.”

    ---

    The night after Ava falls thirteen stories and cracks her skull open on the pavement, Beatrice is practically Ava’s second shadow.

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    01 Dec 2022

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    “Come on. One match. I’ll sweeten the deal,” Ava adds, “Let’s bet on it.”

    “A wager?” Beatrice raises her left eyebrow ever so slightly.

    Ava’s not sure where all this unearned confidence of hers is coming from, but she decides to lean into it. It’s kind of sexy and empowering. The fact she has never won a bout against Beatrice, not even kind of, not even once, is not one worth taking seriously. Today Ava feels lucky.

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    30 Nov 2022

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    She starts forward and then stops herself with a jerk.  Beatrice is an adult, Beatrice can handle herself, Beatrice could probably lay out everyone in this train car without displacing a single hair on her head, and Ava is the mess that dragged her out of her life.  Beatrice doesn’t need Ava to save her, doesn’t need saving at all when it comes to a charming-looking hot guy with wavy hair and a good smile, but then he leans closer to Beatrice and Ava feels the halo flare in her back and stomps over, slings her arms around Beatrice, hooks her chin over her shoulder. 

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    29 Nov 2022