Riddle_Master_101



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  1. Summary

    Humor and Drama and Adventure, oh my! Stories, drabbles, and long winding narratives from all across the realms of fandom.

    Various ideas, scenes, conversations, and character studies. The title comes from that book most US elementary school students have to read: From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. You know, the one where they live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art for about a week?

    All stories are unrelated unless stated otherwise.

    Words:
    8,808
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    4
  2. Summary

    A look at Voldemort's Inner Circle Death Eaters, in a universe where they are (and always were) deeply loyal to their master.

    One part angst. One part humor.

    Words:
    12,686
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    21

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Yusuf sighs. “Allah forgive me, but I do not want to kill you again,” he says to the Frank. “Please, no more death. It’s enough.” He slowly spreads his arms, palms up, hoping that his meaning will be clear.

    The Frank just gazes at him for a moment, his unsettling blue eyes sharp but the rest of his face lined with fatigue. At last he nods, says something in his own language and, carefully telegraphing his movements, lifts his sword from his lap and sets it down in the sand beside him. He holds out his palms, mirroring Yusuf. Thus begins their tentative truce.

    Or: another enemies-to-lovers backstory of dubious historical accuracy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,255
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    823
    Bookmarks:
    215
    Hits:
    5686

    17 Nov 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Nicolò throws the knife past Yusuf’s head—Yusuf knows he missed on purpose—and then he buries his face in his hands with a groan. “What have I done to deserve this,” he mutters in Ligurian, and Yusuf can just barely make out the words. Nicolò lifts his head, still glaring. “Maybe I should just go back. Forget this ever happened. Take the cloth, find a nice little parish with simple, God-fearing people. I could spend my time trying to do some small good and quietly repenting in a place that’s blessedly free of death-defying infidel assholes who seem determined to make my everlasting life a hell on earth.”

    Now it’s Yusuf’s turn to stare. He has no idea what Nicolò is on about, but he’s beginning to think it would have been easier and faster to just die.

    “Isabella,” Nicolò continues, “has been in love with my for four years. I know this. I know it because I have been here for four years because I have been waiting for you.” He throws his hands up in a universally recognizable gesture of despair. “Four years, Yusuf, crushing grapes and herding goats and living on this beautiful but godforsaken rock in the Mediterranean, on the off-chance that one day, God Almighty knew when, you might somehow feel compelled to seek me out.”

    He pauses just long enough to suck in a deep breath. “Isabella knows that I know that she is in love with me, because I have rebuked her advances for four straight years. How is it possible that you cannot understand this?”

    This is the longest speech that Yusuf has ever heard Nicolò deliver, to anyone, on any subject, in any language.

  2. Public Bookmark 11

    Words:
    40,513
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    11

    12 Nov 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    This series is just...well, pretty much what you'd expect from the bored Daedric Prince of Debauchery. aka: the one where Sanguine just wants everyone to explore their wildest guilty (and not guilty) pleasures, but like, consensual---he's not Molag Bal damn it!

    "Let's say I haven't," he said, instead of explaining any of that. "What did you have in mind?"

    The Nord smirked. "I've got a bit of an errand to perform, but I need an extra pair of hands... and in my line of work, extra hands are well-paid."

    Sanguine leered. "Kinky. I approve."

    Rather than the laugh he'd been hoping for, this got him a sidelong, mildly confused look. "Wha—no. Not that line of work, lad." His gaze did flick over Sanguine, though, just for a moment. "I need someone to liberate a ring from Madesi's strongbox—that's the Argonian, there—and plant it on Brand-Shei, the dark elf. Can't do it myself because they're all watching me, but I can create a distraction and give you an opening. You do well, maybe we'll see about any more money coming your way. Are you up for it?"

    Sanguine had, up until this point, been fully expecting the conversation to end on some variation of, "Let's you and me get a room at the inn," and so was caught entirely off guard by... whatever this was. An invitation to petty larceny? Hold on, wasn't the Thieves' Guild based out of Riften? What could possibly have them so hard up that they'd resorted to asking random strangers to be accomplices? What on Nirn was Nocturnal doing, twiddling her thumbs?

    On the other hand, well. He'd been looking for trouble or fun, and this seemed like both. It also promised, if Sanguine played his cards right, to be absolutely hilarious.

    and

    "S-Sam," Drahff said, when he could get enough air to speak, "truth or dare?" He was still giggling drunkenly every few words.

    Sanguine leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out. "Truth," he said, interested to see where this would go. Drahff knew him well enough to know he didn't need to be dared to do anything.

    "How old are you?" Drahff said casually, then froze like a deer sighting an archer.

    "Older than you," Sanguine said, very calmly.

    Drahff swallowed and nodded, no longer laughing.

  3. Public Bookmark 30

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    “My love is a lot to ask for,” Nicolo said. Yusuf scoffed.

    “Asking for your love is to ask you to breathe. You hold more love in your little finger than most people will feel in their entire lives, even if they were as long as ours.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    285
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    975

    29 Oct 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    They don't fight, they just play-fight and banter with one another.
    Nile had asked Andy, once, if Nicolo and Yusuf ever got into fights. Andy had scoffed at the thought.

    “They spent the first five years of their immortality murdering one another. I’ve never seen a couple that’s so hell-bent on talking through their issues.”

    and

    “Nicolo, my Nicolo, I have given you my mind, my body, my heart, and you mock me? Nine hundred years-”

    “It’s a towel,” Booker muttered, and typed something with a little more force than necessary. Andy was reading a book, like she had somehow blocked out their increasingly ridiculous discussion. Nile has watched telenovas that were less riveting than this.

    “Yusuf,” Nicolo said, and he stopped mid-sentence to let him speak. Nicolo’s grin widened. “Has it occurred to you that perhaps I leave the towel out on purpose?”

  4. Public Bookmark 32

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    Summary

    “Nah,” he says, “Spiff’s always been your territory."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    885
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    630

    07 Oct 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Still one of my all-time favorite stories on this site!

  5. Public Bookmark 13

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    Summary

    Sebastian has two exes: Abigail, because he isn’t interested in women, and Sam, because he isn’t interested in men either. That doesn't stop them from dragging Sebastian into an adventure of domesticity.

    Or: Nobody else moves into the farmhouse and overthrows JojaMart, so the band has to do it themselves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,748
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    846

    23 Sep 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    These dorks:

    Abigail hugs her mother. “I’m glad you changed your mind about Sam. I love you.”

    Caroline hugs back. “Be good to yourself and to each other, and don’t have any threesomes with Sebastian.”

    “Mom!” screeches Abigail. “First, that’s not your business; and second, Sam and I will have as many threesomes we want, whether that number is zero or a thousand!” (Sam’s entire family goes red inside the house.)

    Caroline giggles. “I’m just messing with you, dear. I love you too.” Abigail giggles too, but underneath the good humour, she thinks she sees a hint of wistfulness in her mother’s face.

    Sam and Abigail’s families leave, and not half an hour later, Sebastian shows up with a sleeping bag and a six-pack of beer.

    and then a few chapters later:

    “Wow, hey,” says Sebastian, sleep-rough. Abigail and Sam jump apart, and Sebastian laughs. He looks down, and plucks the waistband of their shared pair of controversial purple underwear, currently being worn by Sam. “Nice underwear. I got you more for your birthday.”

    “Sebs!” says Abigail. “Holy shit, I forgot you were there and I’m sorry and... wow, you look insanely hot right now.” Her voice trails off as she takes Sebstian in, laying in their bed with his hair fanned out over the pillow like a fairytale maiden.

    Sebastian’s clearly too sleepy to be self-conscious, because he curls his lips into a lazy smile, half-lidded eyes crinkling. “Yeah?”

    AND ALSO apparently the fic with this author note:

    A/N: When I move an NPC into the farmhouse, I use their former bedroom as keg storage. I think this unintended marriage perk makes Leah the most eligible bachelorette and Harvey the most eligible bachelor, but Sam is a pretty close contender with how fucking big his bedroom is.