CriminalMindsOnlyMafiaBoss



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    There are several things that the dwarves don't know about the hobbit that is travelling with them. Things that Bilbo is glad to let them find out for themselves along the way.

    The first is that he's prepared for everything. His mother used to quiz him about what he'd do in any given situation - from relatives to trolls - and Bilbo never disappointed her with his answers. Riding a pony all day gives him plenty of time to plan for everything.

    The second is that he can throw a stone or any other small object hard enough to embed it several inches into a tree trunk. HIs accuracy is uncanny even for Shire standards. He's quite proud of it.

    The third is that he doesn't actually say so many proverbs when at home but it seems to annoy the dwarves so he spends time thinking up all the ones he's heard before.

    And last, hobbits scold like it is no one's business. The Dwarves he's travelling with really have no idea what's going to happen if they truly piss him off.

    Language:
    English
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    25,747
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
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    22 Jul 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    As a result of a magical mishap during the trip to the lonely mountain, Bilbo is reverted to a wee little hobbitling. Only in body, of course. His adult mind is still very aware of the indignity of it all (seriously! He doesn't need to be coddled, carried, and fed like a child). It turns out, dwarves love children and there is nothing cuter than Hobbit children. Bilbo soon realizes that he can get away with just about anything in his babyish form and starts taking full advantage of it. Even the grumpy brooding king can't deny the angelic little creature anything he desires (and Bilbo's going to milk that for all it's worth).

    Language:
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    Words:
    30,130
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    219
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    709
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    19 Jul 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    So comes to pass that Durin the Deathless, mighty dwarrow of Aulë, Father of the Dwarves, King of Khazad-dûm, the First of the Seven Fathers, King of the Longbeards, finds himself inexplicably bound to a small raw chunk of blue stone pocketed by one Belladonna Took on her journey home from a well accomplished adventure. Years, and multiple adventures later, Belladonna settles and births a son to whom this stone is gifted.
    A child named Bilbo, the small Hobbit who will turn the tides of the whole of Middle Earth, and the ghostly Durin's ward in this new uncharted world before them.

    Or: In which Durin the Deathless does not accept the finality of his lineage and submits his complaints to Mahal and Yavanna.
    Becoming bound to a stone was not part of his request to save the Dwarrow and this stipulation was not in the fine print.
    Additionally Hobbits are far too endearing even to ancient semi-immortal monarchs.
    And it isn't technically breaking any rules if the ghost beside you works as a translator for super secret dwarvish languages.

    Last Updated: 12 September 2019

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
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    17 Jul 2019

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    The Quest for Erebor is complicated a bit by the interference of the full moon, as was inevitable on such a long journey. Bilbo has been hired as a burglar by the Company, but he's not a part of their pack--which leaves him in a rather dangerous position. Thorin doesn't want Bilbo anywhere near his pack--until he does.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    442
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    117
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    2718

    17 Jul 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Izuku wasn’t quite sure what to expect in bringing a rescue to his home.

    While most owners would pride themselves in adopting a mixed breed of dog, or perhaps a stray cat; Midoriya had completely bypassed the beginners circle and brought home a fiery wolfdog hybrid with a bad temper.

    It...has up and downs.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,159
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    1620
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    195
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    01 Jul 2019