Certainlynotcricket



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    “You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.

    “I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.

    “You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”

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    23 May 2022

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    “Okay, heartbreaker,” he says, “how much to put the tires back on the car?”

    Jason rolls his eyes and gestures at him with the lug wrench. “Why don’t I just beat you up and steal your money? Is this the first time you’ve been to a bad part of town? Don’t show me your wallet, asshole. Come on.”

    The man heaves a heavy, aggrieved sigh and starts pulling out bills. “Five hundred?” He tries. “Six? We can go to an ATM.”

    “You are mugging yourself,” Jason says, oddly impressed. “Holy shit.”

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    18 May 2022

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    Teen Wolf AU. Sheriff Stilinski marries Talia Hale, and even though Stiles is happy for them, it does have the downside of making Derek Hale, rapidly maturing alpha, his new step-brother, just as Stiles is starting to worry that maybe he's not a beta, like he always assumed he was...

    My experiment with A/B/O dynamics.

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    17 May 2022

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    Stiles is an idiot. Derek is in love with an idiot.

    It’s not like he didn’t already know this. He’s spent too many years watching Stiles walk head first into glass doors because he’s too busy texting to look where he’s going to not be aware of how much of a moron this otherwise very intelligent person can be. But he would’ve liked to think that Stiles wasn’t completely blind.

    He would’ve been wrong.

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    06 Apr 2022

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    Coming back to the moment, the guy says, "So, you got a plan for all your canning? A big family, or lots of friends and co-workers?"

    "Not really," Derek says wryly. "It's a ... new hobby, I guess, and I got a little carried away." A little, he thinks, that's a laugh. Hugely carried away, is more like it. "I have way, way more than I know what to do with."

    "Happens," the guy says, smiling into his eyes. Derek's heart skips a beat as the eye contact lasts a second longer than it maybe should. "I'm Stiles, by the way," he says, holding out a hand.

    Derek shakes his hand, has to remind himself to let go. "Derek," he answers, and feels his ears warm up.

    OR

    A story in which Derek makes jam and pines, and Stiles and his dad have a farm.

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    12 Mar 2022