Bgtea
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.
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How to Escape Your Problems and Live Your Life in Denial – the Jiang Cheng Edition by Bgtea
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
14 Jun 2022
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So, this may not be the life Jiang Cheng's imagined for himself - he’s living in an apartment slightly bigger than a closet above a café filled with sassy, judgmental cats, penny-pinching and coupon-cutting his way to stave off starvation and scurvy.
And of course, just to make his life more complicated, there's the Lan Xichen Problem.
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That’s got to be the weirdest looking dog Ajax has ever seen in his life.
At least, Ajax thinks it’s a dog. It’s got scraggly little ginger tufts of fur around the neck and a strip of wild fur running down the spine like a mohawk, ending in more bushy, fluffy fur bits sprouted at the end of the tail. There are also some sort of strange protrusions from its head, like antlers, or maybe tumours? Fuck if Ajax knows, he’s not a medical professional.
But even with his lack of medical knowledge, he knows the dog-thing is in bad shape; it’s so covered in dirt and blood that Ajax can’t even tell what colour it is beneath all that grime.
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In which Ajax finds, what he calls in his mind, a "Dog-Lizard", on his random walk around the city and accidentally becomes a pet parent without realizing he's adopted a God.
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R O R R I M by Bgtea
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
24 Apr 2022
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Some things are just too good to be true. Jiang Cheng really should've done more research on the new place he's renting.
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There is a popular game in Snezhnaya, one that originates as an activity to keep children occupied during the long winter days stuck indoors while arctic winds howl outside, knocking against doors and windows and carrying with it a violent storm of ice and frost. The game has since been adopted into a drinking game by bored young adults similarly trapped inside those cold, dark grueling months.
The game’s rules go something like this. Each person takes a turn telling two truths and one lie about themselves while the rest of the participants have to pluck out the lie. If the guessers guessed wrong, the person telling the information gets the point. If the guesser guessed right, then the person gets no points.
There is no real end to this game. Children play it until they become bored, adults play it until they become drunk.
Childe plays it until…
Come to think of it, Childe’s not entirely sure why he’s playing.
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A Childe introspection story where he tries to find his heart.
Recent series
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bgtea's spiteful possessive dragon!Zhong nc-17 hour by Bgtea
Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
12 Sep 2021
Summary
A collection of unrelated fics all featuring: (a) Zhongli being possessive, draconic, and/or both, and (b) Childe getting absolutely railed by said possessive/draconic Zhongli.
- Words:
- 28,279
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 119
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The Inevitable Universe by Bgtea
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
29 Aug 2013
- Words:
- 117,672
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 360
Recent bookmarks
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By Any Other Pen Name by Prudabaga
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
18 Aug 2021
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Books featuring erotic stories of Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun start circulating through the demon world. With Shang Qinghua’s honor and reputation on the line, Mobei Jun sets out to find and stop the author while also doing his best to keep any of the books from working their way into Shang Qinghua’s possession. The poor, pure man gets flushed and nervous whenever sex is mentioned--what would reading such explicit scenes do to his innocent mind? He might have qi deviation, or worse, start avoiding Mobei Jun.
TL; DR: Shang Qinghua writes erotic friendfiction, Mobei Jun finds out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,656
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 486
- Kudos:
- 2550
- Bookmarks:
- 638
- Hits:
- 20013
Bookmarked by Bgtea
20 Mar 2022
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night of yearning by tagteamme
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
08 Feb 2021
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Summary
Luo Binghe develops a gap in his memory, one that is shaped specifically like Shen Qingqiu.
“Binghe, speak to this master,” Shen Qingqiu says firmly, and Luo Binghe gives him a strange look. Shen Qingqiu can’t place it and he leans forward, intending to get closer to see better. But the hand around his wrist instantly tightens to the point where it hurts, and Shen Qingqiu lets out a squawk of pain.“Binghe—!”
“Why do you keep calling me like that?” Luo Binghe returns, and Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen at the way the words are devoid of any emotion. It is nothing though, compared to the force of what Luo Binghe says next. “Who are you?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,534
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 1136
- Kudos:
- 5278
- Bookmarks:
- 1418
- Hits:
- 56088
Bookmarked by Bgtea
10 Jan 2022
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private looks by tagteamme
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
01 May 2021
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It’s not a new fact that Mobei Jun is notoriously hard to read. Now that they’ve freshly entered a romantic entanglement, Shang Qinghua thinks he’ll have a better understanding of Mobei Jun’s expressions.
However, there is one particularly angry one that Mobei Jun seems to have reserved purely for him, and Shang Qinghua has no idea what it means.
Bookmarked by Bgtea
10 Jan 2022
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How you will heal (and you’ll rise above) by Bookish_penguin
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Nov 2021
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Summary
“You know,” Childe murmurs, “I used to get sick like this.”
“Back in Snezhnaya?”
He shakes his head. “Back in the Abyss.”
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Zhongli descends into the Abyss hoping to find a cure for Childe’s illness, and finds phantoms of his younger self haunting its grounds.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,264
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 1203
- Bookmarks:
- 187
- Hits:
- 8296
Bookmarked by Bgtea
09 Dec 2021
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Summary
Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.
Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident.
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In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal....Right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,245
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Comments:
- 1693
- Kudos:
- 7263
- Bookmarks:
- 1729
- Hits:
- 156493
Bookmarked by Bgtea
29 Nov 2021