Almighty_Hat



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Recent series

  1. Summary

    Prompt: "Jurassic World/Harry Potter, Owen Grady + the raptor squad, so it turns out that dinosaurs created with snake DNA can speak parseltongue – which makes Owen training the raptors a little easier (and may change things with the Indominus completely)"

    Owen Grady speaks Raptor, but it's a language he learned through immersion, the same way his girls learned English. Owen Grady also speaks Parseltongue, but that's because he's a wizard with a bonus gift. It doesn't change a lot about his work, until it really, really changes a lot about his work.

    Words:
    42,712
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    515
  2. Summary

    Based on the Locket prompt by Para, here, with pairing borrowed from Lilithqueen's "You're dating the HELP?!" series.

    The plot of Girl Genius is a delicate and intricate machine, and I'm sitting here throwing rocks in the gears. Please join me in rarepair hell for the adventures of Miss Agatha Clay as she falls hard for the dashing Jägermonster Jorgi! Watch as Agatha discovers the unique charms of sharklike grins! Laugh as Jorgi explains why Jägers are so irresistable to de vimminz! Despair as certain inevitable plot mechanics roll on without us! Facepalm at irony so thick you could spread it on toast!

    An AU that grew legs and ran away with me: What exactly are the implications of a hidden Heterodyne falling hard for a Jäger and refusing to get involved in any stupid love triangles with more politically (and socially, and possibly ethically) appropriate suitors?

     

    I will keep writing this until I feel like I'll run it up a lamppost if I go any further. Installment length may vary wildly. Working title for Part 9: Show.

    Words:
    71,239
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    247
  3. Words:
    2,023
    Works:
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Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In the spring of 1930, Wilder Mayer's stepfather dies, and Wild is summoned back from Agricultural School in Lubbock to take the reins of the Meyer-Platter farm just outside of Lea, Texas. Over the course of the next five years, Wild must negotiate not just the politics of his little farm community, but also an increasingly mystical and complex relationship with the old town church, closed for many years and a source of mystery within Lea.

    The worst storms of the Dust Bowl are raging across the country, but they always seem to miraculously pass by, leaving Lea's farms unscathed. Instead, Lea is subject to strange happenings: the birth of Wild's witchy daughter Iscah, the rise of the cult that calls itself the Church of the Redeemed Abandoned, and a series of rare but gruesome murders, culminating in an attack on the heart of Wild's family itself -- and a final encounter with the church that has protected Lea for so long.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,893
    Chapters:
    33/33
    Comments:
    359
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    5907

    29 Mar 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one where Sam had a weird dream and turned it into a fantastic little story about Texas during the dustbowl, and the cost of good things.

  2. Public Bookmark 76

    Tags
    Summary

    Cody speeds up, turns the corner, and blinks. There’s a girl hanging off Whirl. She looks about twelve, with a romper, green pigtails, and band-aids on her knees. Her legs kick in the air where she dangles from Whirl’s hand. She spots Cody and freezes. Her one eye is vibrant, unnatural yellow. There’s an autobot symbol on the romper, with the missing eye crossed out. She has big, clunky army boots, freckles, and two machine guns strapped to her back.

    “Uh,” Cody says.

    “You didn’t see nothin’,” the girl hisses.

    Whirl says, “he won’t tell anyone. Will you, Cody?”

    Cody has no idea what there is to tell, or who he’d tell it to. “No?”

    “Good.” Whirl lowers her hand until the girl’s boots hit the ground. The girl dusts herself off and gives Cody a terrifying gap-toothed grin. Whirl offers her own tentative smile. “Have you met my dad?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    395
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    2175

    16 Feb 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one where Whirl's Scraplet Baby makes the jump to another series and we are all delighted.

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "This isn't my fault." And other lies Eddard Stark tells himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,547
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    234
    Kudos:
    1740
    Bookmarks:
    760
    Hits:
    16382

    14 Feb 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one where Ned Stark reveals/discovers that his One True Vice is actually Accidental Child Acquisition, crack treated semi-seriously may rewrite the whole timeline, some of the comment threads take the fun a little further, and Robert Baratheon is laughing his ass off the whole time.

  4. Rec 13

    Summary

    The Vok get fed up with the Cybertronians messing up the Project so they use the Planetbuster to turn them human in hopes they'll stop wrecking the place and die natural deaths. The Maximals and Predacons team up to survive and try to get their metal back.

    Words:
    119,290
    Works:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    13

    18 Dec 2018

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one that's been in progress for 12+ years and I don't care I will roll with this story until the wheels fall off okay. The one where most of the time I don't even need a dialogue tag because everyone's voices are so distinct and so flawlessly captured. The one where Inferno is turning into some kind of seven-foot-tall amazonian den mother. The one where you should also check out the art!

    If you like my writing, read this. This is the kind of thing I aspire to, and a long-term influence.

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Its hard, living in suburbia. Its harder when your neighbor is an eldritch abomination.

    This is the original raw text of my Tumblr posts about Antler Guy and Neighbor Steve. Enjoy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,763
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    371
    Kudos:
    3278
    Bookmarks:
    1017
    Hits:
    89077

    02 Sep 2018

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one where eldritch horrors move to suburbia and make friends with the neighbors, or, Shitpost Treated Seriously.

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