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  • Public Bookmark 15

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    Summary

    When Jimin claims that he was the maknae's first kiss a debate arises on which member had that honor. And playful discussions and not-so-innocent pranks lead to some big revelations.

    OT7 pre-relationship with some fighting, making up and making out.

    Language:
    English
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    8,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    29 Dec 2020

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    oh boy what have i always said about communication

  • Public Bookmark *

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    Eric glances at his door, which is shut most of the way, and crawls to the end of his bed, snatches Jack’s phone up and sits back down, cross-legged, both hands wrapped around its classic, boring black rubber case.

    He takes a second to listen, but Jack still seems to be rifling around in his room across the hall, so Eric swipes the camera open, switches it to front-facing, and starts taking selfies. He crosses his eyes for the first one and sticks his tongue out in the second. For the third one, he does duck lips, but then he realizes that might look too much like he’s blowing a kiss and he starts to panic.

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  • Public Bookmark 53

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    Whatever else he can say about being in HYDRA's hands, Bucky did get a lot of downtime, a lot of freedom from his thoughts. Recreating that now might cause some problems.

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    English
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    2,062
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    1/1
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    26
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    305
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    53
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    03 Nov 2020

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  • Public Bookmark 41

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    He rubbed at his eyes, thankful that the lights were off as he entered their room, and quickly ducked under the covers of their shared double bed. He curled his body, knees to his chest, back to his lover.

    “Everything okay?” He heard Yoongi whisper.

    He couldn’t bring himself to respond.

    He didn’t know the answer.

    Or

    Seokjin struggles with the sexual side of his relationship with Yoongi.

    Language:
    English
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    2,599
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    1/1
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    10
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  • Public Bookmark 69

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    Stiles has something to prove. He just doesn't know to whom. Or why.

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    English
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    4,924
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    20 Sep 2020

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    “Stiles! Are you even listening?”
    “No, not really. I mean, I’ve heard this all before. It’s a little boring, now, don’t you think? Because I’m not going to stop protecting my friends. Not when I can help. Not when I’m usually right,” Stiles rolled his eyes.
    “You’re right… it is boring, Stiles. You win. You don’t want my protection? Fine. Do whatever you want,” Derek turned and walked away.

    Stiles did his thing. Except that after a fight was done, Derek didn’t even check on Stiles. Didn’t stop to yell at Stiles for being reckless. He just checked in with the betas and left.
    It was super weird and Stiles couldn’t quite place his finger on why it bothered him. Derek wasn’t unfriendly. Stiles might even think that Derek was friendlier now. Except that it was in a kind of distant, cold way. Derek didn’t talk to him – Stiles hadn’t thought Derek talked to him at all until he actually stopped. Didn’t respond to any of Stiles’ jokes. Didn’t engage in what Stiles liked to think of as their banter.
    Stiles was happy that he wasn’t being growled or yelled at. But he also found Derek’s behaviour disquieting.

    “Derek, why are you treating me like Chris Argent?”
    “You mean treating you like an ally?”
    “Um… yes? No. How can you treat me like an ally if I’m part of the pack?”
    “You aren’t pack.”
    “Excuse you? Since when? After everything I’ve done, you’re kicking me out?”
    “I can’t kick someone out who doesn’t want to be in the pack.”
    “When did I ever say that? Of course, I want to be in the pack!”
    Derek sighed wearily, “Stiles, this is the decision you made. You think I’m a bad alpha? That my decisions and orders are terrible? You don’t want to listen to me? Fine. But you literally cannot be in a pack if you don’t accept the alpha.”
    “Okay… but why not just be a better alpha? Why not make better decisions?”
    “Don’t you mean decisions that you agree with? A better alpha according to yourstandards? Even now, in this, you challenge and argue with me. It’s funny how your hubris knows no bounds.”
    “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
    "Just that you think, as a human, you know better than me, a born wolf. That you think some time on google and reading a few books makes you an expert on my entire life. On an entire world that you didn’t even know existed a year ago. I’m done with this conversation. I do want you in my pack, I just wish you wanted to be in it too.”

    Stiles was also starting to realize that, for all he’d talked about open communication and working together, he’d never really tried to work with Derek. He’d thought their banter was totally about arguing and whatever, but was really just him challenging Derek. Usually in front of his pack. Never actually tried to talk to Derek about his leadership style. Just openly mocked him and then did whatever he wanted.
    Thinking about all of it from this angle, Stiles wasn’t actually sure why Derek had put up with it. Stiles couldn’t even say that Derek had gotten fed up with him (like most people not Scott or his dad) always seemed to. Stiles was the one who’d pushed so hard, he’d pushed himself right out of the pack.

    He’d done everything he could after his mom died to be as independent as possible. To be strong so he could take care of his dad. So he could support Scott. It meant that, deep down, he didn’t see either of them as people he could lean on. People he could count on.

    Except Derek kept showing up. Kept helping when he had no reason to. Stiles had come to trust and rely on that.
    Then he’d thrown it in Derek’s face. Told him that he didn’t need his protection. Didn’t need Derek. When it turns out that Derek was the only person Stiles might actually allow himself to need. More importantly, was the person Stiles wanted most. Right now. In the moment he was dying all Stiles could think about was Derek.
    Sure. He was thinking about his dad and Scott. About how he’d miss them. And how they’d miss him.
    But he didn’t want either of them to be holding him as he died.
    No. He just wanted Derek.

    “So…first off, I’m sorry. I’ve never given you enough credit and I’ve been pretty shitty. I hope you still have a place for me, since I’m ready to submit and accept you as my alpha,” Stiles said and he bared his throat.
    The sure and steady beat of his heart must’ve convinced Derek because he was suddenly right there cupping Stiles’ neck. Dipping his head and inhaling deeply.
    “Welcome to the pack, Stiles,” Derek said as he leaned in and gave Stiles a gentle kiss on the lips.

  • Rec *

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    In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.

    Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,206
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
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    1711
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    23000
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    14 Aug 2020

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    “This is private property.” And the kid laughs. Not a happy laugh, but desperate, almost hysterical. “Who are you?” “Stiles. My dad’s the sheriff?” “So you’re familiar with the concept of stalking.” “So familiar,” he says earnestly. Derek’s ninety percent sure he’s being made fun of, but has no idea why. “Shut up,” he says on principle.

    “I’m not an expert on this kind of ward, but I know this is a sort of general protection. Almost like a good luck charm. Except for one thing. There are so many fireproofing wards. I think somebody could napalm our house, and all that would happen is the place would smell weird.” He spreads a palm over one of the designs on the bark. “I wonder why he’s so worried about fire in particular.”

    “Your Stiles—his heart stopped beating. So…he died in that crash. The only reason I’m alive in this body is because the magic that sent me here patched it up. But your Stiles…he was already gone by then.” “Maybe my Stiles is just in your body,” Scott argues. “Scott. There wasn’t enough left of my body to heal. That’s why the rune kicked me out of it.” And even if that body had been fine, your poor, unprepared Stiles would’ve been dead in minutes.

    “They think you’re cool.” “That’s why they’re staring at me?” “I know, right? Your cool guy reputation is a mystery to me, also. Surprisingly hilarious, though.” Derek laughs, because it’s always been hilarious to him, but it’s rare for other people to see the humor in it. It’s like—these people have clearly never seen him with his mom. Or his sisters, for that matter.

    In less frightening but more upsetting news, if the ridiculously gorgeous Derek Hale pins Stiles to his car one more time, Danny is going to pop an artery in whatever part of the brain that controls lust. It’s just unfair. Today, for example, Stiles is leaning back against his car with Derek practically between his legs, and there’s not a flail or an awkward laugh in sight. Like he thinks that’s where Derek belongs. Among other distressing things, that kind of confidence looks appallingly good on Stiles, and Danny isn’t used to thinking anything looks good on Stiles. (Okay, that may be a lie, but the point is, it used to be a convincing lie.)

    “Derek’s at your house right now? Oh my God. Did you catch him sneaking around your yard and invite him in or something?” “Hm? No, he climbed in my window. Why?” “He what?” “I know, right? I’ve given up on training him out of it.” “You mean he’s climbed in your window before?!” “No, no! No, this is the first time. I just meant—social skills. Generally. I’ve given up on them.” Derek would be offended under normal circumstances, but there are no normal circumstances with Stiles, and he’s more confused than anything. Because when Stiles said, This is the first time, he was lying.

    “What the hell is wrong with you? He’s seventeen! He’s the sheriff’s underage son! You climbed into the sheriff’s underage son’s bedroom window, Derek! Do you have any idea how much Mom is going to yell at you?” “Don’t tell Mom!” Derek yelps, thereby earning himself a really weird look from Stiles.

    “What’s it like? Being familiar with an alternate reality? Having an educated guess about the possible future?” “It’s like playing three-dimensional chess with all the pieces making up their own rules. By which I mean it sucks, and I’m tired of it.”

    “I do trust you guys, this is not about me. This is about you, and the fact that you probably trust the ice cream man just because he gives you ice cream. All I’m saying is, sometimes the ice cream man is a child molester.” This is getting really scary. “…Were you molested?” Stiles gives a stifled scream of frustration and throws up his hands. “Every time I warn you about something, I am not secretly talking about my own tragic past! Gah! This explains so much about you!”

    “Can we actually stand back and let the adults handle it? Is that an option in this world? Because if it is, that is seriously the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. Oh my God, Peter isn’t even insane. Make him handle it. Solved!”

    “Did you love your Derek?” Stiles isn’t sure she understands how cruel some of her questions are. “My Derek is dead.” “I know. Not what I asked.” He’s starting to think she does know what this line of questioning is doing to him, and she’s asking anyway, grimly determined. Why? Don’t conflate your Dereks.

    Possibly the thing Stiles hates most about himself is the way he’s always felt a sense of…what, impending loss? Even when he was a kid, even when things were so good, so perfect, when he had no reason to doubt they’d always be perfect, he’d been waiting. Waiting to lose it all. He was the world’s most paranoid eight-year-old, and that was before he started being proven right.
    Bottom line: he’s never surprised by loss, and he’s always suspicious of his own happiness. He’s fucking broken inside, always has been.

  • Rec 84

    Summary

    Life of Stiles Stilinski, autistic werewolf.

    Words:
    7,188
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    84

    29 May 2020

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Stiles loves Scott. Stiles is loyal, but not blindly. He recognizes and accepts Scott’s faults.
    Scott is a ball of sunshine but he’s never, ever been someone Stiles can lean on. He supports Scott, not the other way around.

    A common autism thing is a generally inability to interpret body language and social cues. Beyond Stiles’ babble, its the single biggest reason why people find him annoying.
    Now, though? He can smell Derek’s worry. Derek’s face looks like it always does. His tone is the same too. Stiles normally interprets it as anger.
    He can smell Derek’s worry. It’s a chemosignal and he can instinctively understand it. He wants to weep with relief.
    Social cues are so confusing but not chemosignals.

    “What about Scott? Your loyalty is one of your best qualities. He’s not pack and after what he did, he never will be.”
    This matters to Derek. More than ever, he needs loyal betas he can trust.
    “I am loyal. But not blindly, not unconditionally. Scott hasn’t been here when I need him most. What he did to you? It crosses a line and I’ll never be able to trust someone capable of such cruelty. I don’t do half measures. He had my trust and loyalty, until he didn’t. It’ll be the same with you.”
    A warning and a promise.

    Part of how he’s autistic is being alexithymic. He has feelings. But he rarely knows which ones. He doesn’t seem to feel them in the same way.
    Being a wolf, he has new instincts. But anger is a human emotion, so why would being a wolf make him angrier?
    Wonders if it’s their humanity that makes omega wolves go feral. If it’s the human parts that makes werewolves dangerous, not the wolf ones.
    Wolves are predators. But they aren’t motivated by revenge, hate, or whatever else. They kill to survive, but so do humans.

    “You turned Stiles, nephew? Your first good decision as alpha!”
    Stiles moves quickly and has Peter pinned to the floor, claws digging in his throat. Everyone freezes. Derek smiles.

    Peter knew Stiles would make a magnificent wolf. The way Stiles is pinning him, claws embedded on either side of his throat, means that Peter would tear his own throat out if he tried to dislodge him. Stiles being Derek’s beta ruins his plans. So does Derek’s unprecedented (but wise) move to consolidate power.
    Derek walks up and asks, “Will you submit, uncle?”
    He has no intention of formally submitting. He’d wanted to rely on the family bond to avoid being omega. His pause is a beat too long. Derek’s eyes flick to Stiles.
    Peter’s throat is torn out again.

    “I don’t care about your relationship with Lydia but remember that she isn’t pack. Don’t share pack business. I’ll consider letting her join in the future, okay?”
    Jackson is relieved, nods.
    “Stiles, this is also the end of your crush on Lydia. Feel what you want, but keep it to yourself. Jackson is your packmate and you’ll step off his relationship.”
    Stiles’ insides freeze a little. Lydia has been a dream for so long. But he nods. He’d obey.
    “Yeah, it was seriously creepy,” Jackson softens his words by brushing his hand down Stiles’ arm.

    Autistic people have trouble interpreting social cues. This is literally the first time someone has told him that his behaviour towards Lydia was creepy. Jackson’s usual response was to be an aggressive asshole.
    Being autistic doesn’t excuse his creepiness. But he wishes someone had told him. Movies and books made it seem like this kind of persistence was romantic and usually rewarded.
    He owes Lydia an apology.
    (Stiles is sort of purposefully ignoring the fact that his desire for Lydia had always been abstract, not quite real and maybe something of a performance.)

    “Derek, are mates a thing?”
    “Yes.”
    “And…???”
    “Wolves can chose to mate, like humans chose to marry.”
    “So it’s not some kind of mystical moon destiny?”
    “Stop reading werewolf smut, Stiles.”
    “Shut up! But explain.”

    “You always wanted to go to Columbia.”
    “I did. Things change.”
    “You’ll resent Derek if you change your dreams for him.”
    "Dreams change, dad. I’ve changed. I’m a werewolf. And mated to the alpha. It would be irrational to resent Derek when I can adjust my dreams to include him. When I dream of the future, these days, he’s always there.”
    “You can’t build your life around another person, son.”
    “Isn’t that the point of relationships? Didn’t you do this with mom?”
    “You’re only 18.”
    “And I’m literally in a relationship only death can break.”

    They are having a lazy afternoon. Stiles enjoying being held by Derek. Feeling safe, warm, and content. Derek enjoying holding Stiles. Feeling connected, loved, and happy.
    They haven’t been together all that long. Even if feels like they’ve been falling in love since Stiles joined Derek’s pack.
    It feels fast, even if they took their time.

  • Rec *

    Tags
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    Stiles learns the true meaning of pack.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,457
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    230
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    859
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    251
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    28 May 2020

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    It took Stiles less than a minute to get injured. Not by whatever that was but by Isaac. Who’d been bumped by Scott and accidentally swiped Stiles with his claws. He couldn’t help but compare it to the vampires. One had been holding him hostage when Derek’s pack had showed up. He hadn’t even got a bruise.

    He told them he was fine and made them go home. He’d rather sit alone than deal with their guilt. They’d only been gone a few minutes when Derek burst in, eyes burning a bright crimson. He looked pissed. The angriest Stiles had seen him in a while. “What. Happened.” “Fuck. Chill! We did fight something. This was an accident. Scott bumped Isaac who accidentally clawed me. No big deal! Just a few stitches.” “You’re bleeding. It is a big deal.” Derek proceeds to sit and wait with Stiles until he’s done. As they’re leaving, Derek says over his shoulder, “Tell your alpha that I didn’t let him have you just to watch you get hurt. He certainly won’t get to keep you if he doesn’t get his pack sorted out.”

    “So we’ve been, like, anthropocentric. You aren’t human so it’s a fundamental error to try and ascribe human motivations and meanings to your actions and behaviour. I only think you act strange because you don’t act human. Because you aren’t human. So this entire time that I’ve thought you have poor social skills, it’s because you, what, aren’t bothering to act human around me? Oh my, god! That explains how you turned into a pod person when you were flirting with that deputy. Because you can act human if you want. But you never have with me…” “You know what I am. Why bother pretending when I don’t have to?” “So that’s what all the shoving was about? Was that common in your family? It doesn’t sound healthy to me. Wait. No, I don’t think I understand.” “I thought you liked playing with me.”

    In all the time Stiles has known Derek, never once has he looked more like a predator.
    Never once has Stiles actually felt like prey. Not like he does in this moment. It’s odd. Because Derek’s body language is the least threatening Stiles has ever seen. He’s still in that lazy sprawl. Muscles loose and relaxed. He isn’t growling. Isn’t up in Stiles’ face. He’s even smiling. But the smile is sharp. Like his claws. And just as dangerous. He suddenly gets it: all those times in the past, Derek really had been playing with him.
    He isn’t playing now.

    Never enough peace for Derek to establish the needed pack bonds to stabilize the pack and make them all stronger. Derek had been trying his best in the worst kind of situation. Easy to look from the outside and be critical. Stiles isn’t sure he could’ve done better. Sure, he’d have made different choices. Doesn’t mean he would’ve been any more successful.

    Stiles was a long-term, forever love kind of guy. Stiles had never had a lot of social needs. Didn’t crave popularity and lots of friends like Scott. He’d been mostly happy with a single friend and his dad. But neither of them had seemed to return his fierce (probably obsessive) devotion. A part of him felt he’d always been destined for a pack, had already been wolf. Maybe that was why Derek had wanted him in the beginning. Why Peter had asked to bite him when he hadn’t asked anyone else, had listened when he said no.

    “This is why we could never get along.” “No. We can’t get along because you’re trying to be something you’re not. You aren’t human. Normal isn’t something you can ever be again. You’ll learn as soon as you leave Beacon Hills.” “I’m not going anywhere! And you can’t make me.” Stiles’ eyes widened because that was not a challenge that Derek would let slip. Sure enough, Derek roared and had Scott pinned by his throat faster than Stiles could blink. "Listen closely, Scott. This is the one and only time I’ll explain this to you. Beacon Hills is my territory. You and your pack are here by my sufferance alone. I tolerate you because my uncle bit you without permission. I tolerate most of your pack because I bit them myself. I’ll only tolerate Argents on my territory until graduation. You can get away with pretending to be ‘normal’ and being ignorant about werewolf culture because I allow it. No other alpha will be as tolerant. I have no doubt you and your pack will find trouble the moment you step outside of my territory. So, no, I’m not making you leave. You should probably never leave if you want the best chance at living a normal life. Because I won’t rescue you. I won’t save you. You aren’t pack and aren’t my responsibility. And my tolerance for you will come to a swift end if you attack me or my pack again. Or if you challenge me and my claim to my mate. I’ll have no problems either killing you myself or driving you out of Beacon Hills. Do you understand?” Derek growled in Scott’s face.

  • Public Bookmark 83

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    Not long after Scott got bitten, fell in love, became a lacrosse superstar, and gained popularity, Stiles called him the 'hot girl'.

    It had been a joke.

    It isn't funny anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,443
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    56
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    620
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    83
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    28 May 2020

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    He’s starting to feel loyal in the way that sidekicks are in comics. They support the hero but are often hapless and require saving. Looked from a certain perspective, they help the hero look more heroic by being weaker and incompetent. By being unfailingly loyal. Because only truly good people garner the devoted loyalty of a sidekick.

    He also isn’t even remotely surprised when Derek shows up in his room to hideout. Stiles engages in some fun banter and there’s a moment when he’s looking at Derek’s lips and he can feel Derek doing the same. He isn’t sure if this is foreshadowing or just queer baiting for the fandom.
    The angry striptease doesn’t make it clearer.
    Stiles decides to go off script since it probably won’t matter anyway. He and Derek have their roles to play.

    “So, Derek. Tell me about yourself. There has to be more to you than a tragic backstory and anger.”
    “What.”
    “I know the narrative isn’t at the point where we can be friends or even allies, but there’s no reason why we can’t be buddies off-screen.”
    “What are you talking about?” Derek actually looks confused.
    “Look. I’m observant. And smart. It’s why I’m Scott’s sidekick. I’m smart enough to have realized that we’re just supporting characters in Scott’s story. It sucks but it is what it is. Right now, though, we have time until we’re needed to drive the plot forward. So why not put that stuff aside and just chill?”
    Derek just looks at him for a long moment. He sighs, “Yeah, fine. Being angry all the time is exhausting. While I don’t normally read the dictionary, I do like reading…”

    As Derek tells Stiles to run and starts fighting his uncle, Stiles thinks that maybe Derek is the anti-hero after all. That he’ll serve as a foil for Scott.
    It makes Stiles kind of sad. Because it means that regardless of how hard Derek tries, Scott will always surpass him. That even though Derek was born a wolf, Scott will end up being a special snowflake wolf and it’ll make Derek look bad. That Derek has to fail so that Scott’s success looks all the better.

    He wasn’t sure he believed the whole ‘killing the alpha who turned you will turn you human’ thing. But he was sure that Scott, as the hero of the story, can’t go around killing people. He might get away with it in the heat of battle, depending on how grimdark this story is but not in cold blood. Not while Peter is injured and lying helpless. Heroes don’t kill. And if they do, it isn’t like this.

    “Do you understand what’s going to happen now? Stories with heroes often have morality lessons. Jackson getting the bite because he wants more power guarantees that something will go wrong there. He’ll need to be punished for hubris. You realize that all of this is a setup to make him a villain? Or, at least, an antagonist? And you’re totally going to get blamed for it too.”
    Derek pauses, “Fuck. Whatever. Did you read that book I recommended? Because I read yours and I have a bone to pick.”

    “Okay, I have to say that this is our worst side adventure yet,” Stiles says as he struggles for breath.
    “Stiles. Can you focus on not letting us drown and stop talking for once?”
    “Calm down, sourwolf. We both know that Scott will save us at the last minute. I’m his best friend, I’ll only die if it’s needed to add drama and angst. We aren’t there yet and they’re more likely to kill off Allison. Sidekicks rarely become fodder for the hero’s tragic backstory. Although I have to say, I’m not liking the implications of him hanging up on me. It suggests that we’ll have some kind of dramatic falling out in the future.”
    “Stiles!”

    What really sucks is finding out that Scott was working with Gerard. That he’d joined up with Derek to betray him. That he hadn’t included Stiles in any of that. It’s like a demotion.
    It means that Scott is on the cusp of a level up. He’s acting and working independently now, shedding his need for a sidekick. The narrative is building steam towards a breakthrough for Scott’s character.

    "Deaton said something about the replacement sacrifice leaving a darkness around our hearts. You know what that is? It’s fucking foreshadowing. Three of us participated in that ritual. Whatever fucked up shit is going to happen won’t happen to Scott. So it’s me or Allison. Allison’s already had her time on the dark side. That leaves me. Either something bad will happen to me or I’ll do something terrible. Or both.”

    "So, yeah. I’m leaving with you.”

    “I don’t want to be a supporting character anymore. Don’t want to be at the mercy of someone else’s narrative and choices. I’m making my own choices from now on and I’m choosing you.”

  • Public Bookmark 46

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    Stiles and Derek heal and move on together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,710
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    538
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    46
    Hits:
    5639

    28 May 2020

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    Stiles knocks every single time he goes to Derek’s. He always asks if he can spend the night.
    He never barges in anymore. Never assumes.
    ‘No’ has become a sacred word to him. Boundaries too.
    After screaming ‘no’ and ‘stop’ in his head for weeks, he’ll never, ever not ask before he takes and not listen when the answer is ‘no’.
    Turns out that this is the secret to unlocking Derek’s friendship.
    The moment Stiles stops gleefully stomping over Derek’s boundaries. The moment he stops pushing at them just to see what happens…
    This is the moment a true friendship begins to build between them.
    Derek’s had too many people in his life who didn’t listen when he’s said ‘no’.
    Stiles understands Derek in a way Derek would never wish on anyone.

    Everyone is sort of… moving past what happened. But things aren’t the same. Could never really be the same. They still talk to him. But something is missing. Stiles isn’t sure, though, whether or not the disconnect he feels is because he’s depressed or because it’s real. Could be that the others are depressed and likewise feeling disconnected.
    Isaac leaving with Chris Argent doesn’t help. No one blames him. But… there are so many gaps in the pack where all the people they’ve lost should be. None of them quite know how to fit themselves back together again.
    It doesn’t help that this might be the biggest lull between crises they’ve had since it all started. Almost none of them were friends before and they’ve never had time to really build relationships outside of ‘we need to band together or we’ll die’ situations.

    So it’s all awkward and stilted.
    Except with him and Derek. That’s been easy. So much easier than Stiles ever thought anything between him and Derek could be.
    It helps that Derek doesn’t try to use threats and intimidation to get his way with Stiles anymore. And that Stiles isn’t an antagonistic shit who pokes and pushes at Derek’s boundaries.
    In the rare moments Stiles let himself daydream what a relationship with Derek would be like (beyond the potentially mind blowing sex), he always thought that it would be… explosive. Not bad or abusive, but lots of squabbling or bickering and probably more than a few fights.
    Instead it’s quiet. And so very, very peaceful. Comfort and succour in a way he never could’ve imagined. They don’t fight. They don’t bicker. There’s some gentle teasing. But mostly it’s quiet affection.

    “How will the whole mate thing go with college?” Stiles asks.
    “I’ll just follow you wherever you go,” Derek replies easily.
    “Just like that?”

    It turns out, after all, that no one in the pack had noticed that he and Derek were together. Because when he shows up at school wearing a gold band, it causes something of an uproar.
    “Dude, is that a wedding ring?” Scott asks at lunch. Everyone’s eyes are glued to Stiles’ finger as he lifts his sandwich to his mouth.
    “Yeah? Derek and I got married yesterday,” Stiles mumbles through his mouthful. His mind is elsewhere, thinking about Derek. He does notice the gasps and sudden quiet around him. He glances around and sees a lot of shocked faces.
    “You got married. To Derek. And didn’t invite me?” says Lydia.
    “What? Are you with Derek?” Scott asks.
    “That’s so cute!” is Kira’s contribution.
    “How is this a surprise? I’ve practically been living with Derek for months now. I moved in officially last week on my birthday. We’re mates for fuck’s sake,” as Stiles speaks he truly understands just how… distant the pack really has been. No one’s fault, exactly, since they’ve had a lot to deal with. But… he hadn’t expected total shock. At least not from the werewolves, who should be able to smell Derek all over him.

    It breaks something in him. He’d clung to his dad so hard after his mom had died, not wanting to lose the one parent he still had. It’s why he nagged him so much about his diet. Why’d lied to his dad for so long to keep him out of the supernatural stuff.
    He’d made so many excuses for his dad over the years.
    But Stiles was done. And he’ll never forgive his dad. Tells him as much on the day he graduates. Especially after his dad says he’s proud. Stiles pretty much raised himself after his mom died. His dad doesn’t get to feel proud for something he didn’t really contribute to.

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    In the wake of Loki, Clint is persona-non-grata at SHIELD.

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    19 Apr 2020

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    He'd gone to medical after shwarma. He knew he was in bad condition. He was pretty certain he hadn't slept in over seventy-two hours. There was still glass embedded in his skin from his journey through the window; nothing life-threatening, but a few of the wounds probably needed stitching. He had no idea if he'd eaten in the time he was with Loki. He didn't remember doing so, and he remembered everything.
    One of the nurses in medical had glanced over him and said, "You'll have to come back, we've got more urgent cases."

    One of the wounds was infected, one of them with glass still inside. Clint couldn't reach it. He'd gone back to medical, but one look at how many beds were occupied told him they had better things to be doing.

    He made himself drink a little bit of water from the tap. He'd been so, so thirsty lately. He really needed to go to medical, he thought idly, knowing he couldn't bear to try again, be turned away a third time.

    "Oh. You resurfaced."
    Clint ran a hand over his face. "Wasn't underground."
    "He never went to medical, doc. I thought you could check him out."
    Clint didn't bother reasserting either that he had gone to medical or that they had been busy. Natasha had selective listening skills.
    "You never—" Banner stopped. He had a weird expression on his face as he asked, "Are you still in your fighting uniform?"

    Clint pulled the chest armor away, doing his best to breathe through the pain of doing so. He turned so Banner could see where the worst of it was and the sight was greeted by a sharp intake of breath on Banner's part, some fluid, incensed cursing on Natasha's.
    "Okay," Banner said with an oddly calm voice. "I'm going to need you to lay down for this."
    Natasha started toward the door. Clint asked, "Tasha?"
    She twirled back. "You said you went to medical."
    "They were busy," he repeated.
    She inclined her head. "Now they're going to be busier."

    The first battery of tests was all physical. The nurse helping out was the one who'd informed him he'd have to wait when he'd tried to get aid after the Chitauri battle. When he was ordered to take off his shirt, he didn't miss the flash of mild pleasure in her eyes upon seeing how bandaged up he remained.
    Clint asked, "What is it, precisely, that you hate me over? Might make you feel better to actually yell at me about it."
    "My fiancé was on the helicarrier. Flight engineer. He was killed in the first blast, so far as the reports can say."
    Clint held her gaze. "I'm sorry."
    "Save it," she sneered. "It doesn't change anything, it doesn't help anything."
    "I know.”
    In the fraught silence that followed, the doctor said, "Nurse Delacroix, would you find a replacement and take a break?"
    Clint said, "You needn't have bothered. The next one will just be avenging someone else."
    "Perhaps, but the next might also be more professional about his or her feelings on the matter.”

    Two weeks later, Clint woke to the ringing of his cell phone. The number on the cell screen was private, so Clint usually wouldn't have picked up, but it was also 2:47 on a Saturday morning, and sometimes, in Clint's life, that meant someone might die if he didn’t. "Who is this?"
    "Clint," his name was said like a talisman, like a breath of relief.
    Clint dropped the phone. And then picked it back up. "What did I kill so we could eat in Yemen?"
    The answer was immediate: "A caracal."
    "Where are you? What—?"
    "SHIELD medical facility hidden outside Stowe, Vermont, little over six hours from where you are." A beat, and then, with a smile Clint could hear, "Up for a drive?"
    "I'm guessing, since you're calling me from a burner phone in the middle of the night that this break out isn't exactly sanctioned?"
    "It might cause more problems before it fixes them, yes. I'll understand if—"
    "Six hours," Clint said. "Be dressed and ready to go."

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    “There are no absolutes, Scott! No hard rights or hard wrongs! The world doesn’t fucking work that way and we can’t afford to think like that, because people are going to die! We signed up for that the moment we got involved with all this!”

    “We? We?” Scott hisses. “Don’t you think you? Don’t forget that you’re the one who dragged us into that forest the night it all started, Stiles. So if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours.”

    Something inside Stiles cracks, so strong and so deep that he practically hears it.

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    17 Mar 2020

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    Stiles brings his hand to his mouth, eyes right on Derek as he sinks his teeth into the fleshy part of his thumb. Derek makes no move to stop Stiles and watches closely as blood trickles down his wrist. Stiles releases his bloody hand and offers it to Derek, palm down.
    “Alpha,” he says, voice as strong and sure as the way his heart beats.

    He’s not even surprised by the question in Derek’s eyes. One last chance to back out. One last chance to choose someone else. One last chance to walk away. Stiles remains steadfast in the face of the Alpha before him.
    Derek smirks, a sense of pride shining in his blood-red eyes. He sinks his fangs into Stiles right over the teeth marks, hard enough to further the bleed and make sure it scars, but not enough to turn.
    Stiles wants it here, this hand, because this is who he is, how he’ll introduce himself to the world the moment he reaches out his hand…
    Derek’s beta. Derek’s packmate.
    Derek’s.

    “And, only eight years old, you chose to forgive your old man instead of hate him. You always chose family, son. You always choose me, every single day, even if I don’t deserve it. And now you found a family of your own where I’m lacking.”
    “I would never pick the pack, pick anybody, over you, Dad. I…”
    “I know, and I won’t take them away from you, son. So this isn’t about me. This isn’t about you taking something away from me. Because I choose you. I’ll follow you, and not because you’re my son, but because you’re my son and I love you and I trust in the choices you make. You have a pack now, and nothing will please this old man more if you think I’m good enough to be a part of that.”

    "I chose to be Derek’s because I have faith in him. I have just as much faith in Scott. Don’t get me wrong. But you know what the difference is between them? ...at the end of the day, I know Derek will still have faith in me. I picked an Alpha and a pack that would pick me right back. I hope you find people who will do the same for you.”

    You are my emissary.”
    Lydia scoffs. “And you only figured that out now?”
    From his sprawl across the wooden floor, Stiles tilts his head up and looks at Derek upside-down. “I’m just amazed he came by that realization himself,” Stiles teases. Cora laughs loudly.
    “It was obvious,” Danny shrugs. Isaac nods excitedly, while Jackson pretends to look bored.
    “It makes sense,” Boyd adds.
    Derek looks miffed, but more than that he looks mystified. He sits down by Stiles’ head, until the Alpha and Emissary are looking at one another upside-down.
    “You are my emissary,” Derek says again, softly and privately.
    It is both a declaration and a confession. It is acknowledging Stiles’ position in the pack and, at the same time, it’s also admitting Derek’s dependence on, need for, him. It is the reality not just of Stiles’ ability to protect them and help them flourish, but also a sign of a possible future that the two of them can build together.
    Stiles grins. “I am your emissary,” he agrees, easy as breathing.
    Derek’s eyes flare Alpha-red and Stiles feels the pack bond and his Spark snap taut.

    “You will always be my brother, and one of my best friends, even if…” He trails off. “But I guess we’ll never be pack. I’m sorry it had to turn out this way.”
    Scott gives him a look and for one moment Stiles remembers how it was.
    “Me too. Sorry,” Scott says. Stiles doesn’t watch as he walks away.
    Stiles stays there until the sky is dark and stars start dotting the night sky. He lifts a hand up, looks at the sky through the spaces between his fingers, isn’t surprised when he finds thicker, darker fingers slot between his.
    Derek’s concerned face appears above him and Stiles smiles, knows it wobbles uncertainly on his face.
    “Come on. You’ll get a cold,” his Alpha, his mate, says.
    Stiles nods, lets Derek drag him up, bundle him warmly into the Camaro and then take him home.

    Deaton remains quiet and blank-faced, but Stiles can sense him. He is armed with virtually every talisman, charm, and spell possible. Stiles doesn’t need any one of those. All he needs is his pack, the gleam of the Mother Moon, and his mate, and he is unstoppable.

    “What are they doing?”
    He sees the crack in Deaton’s façade, a mix of outrage and shock, and Stiles laughs when a strong gust of wind blows through the clearing. The forest is slowly waking up upon hearing Derek’s blood call.
    “The Hale Pack emissary” – and wow, he won’t even say Stiles’ name – “is invoking his Alpha’s right to claim the land. This is old magic, an ancient and unstable magic."
    Stiles laughs, loud and bright. Deaton just doesn’t understand.
    “Unstable? Says who?”
    Beacon Hills is Hale territory and Derek, the last living Hale Alpha, has all the right in the world to claim it, something Deaton has kept from Derek and Laura for many, many years.

  • Public Bookmark 15

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    Kakeru thinks he’s going a little bit crazy, when after Hakone he starts seeing Haiji light up like a shooting star.

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    11 Jul 2019

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    oh boys. COMMUNICATION, ARE YOU NOT ADULTS. or at least you, Haiji
    ch 2

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    Young omega Warden Lord Mieczysław Stilinski, given the royal request of marrying Crown Prince Derek Hale of Triskelion, predictably messes the whole entire thing up.

    Or –

    An arranged marriage, mistaken identity, a/b/o, accidental heat fic

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    01 Jul 2019

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    Stiles presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, vainly trying to stave off tears. “I’m not… I wasn’t imagining it,” he says, voice thick. “Laura even noticed. He’s been courting me, Lydia. Today,” he hiccups on an embarrassing sob, “he left me pillows to nap in. A blanket that smelled like him. Lydia, I’m not crazy.”
    Lydia says, “He made you a nest,” her voice scarily calm.

    Every omega tackles heats differently. Early on, they discovered that Stiles was an escape artist. It might be the Tempest in him, a yearning for the open sea, but his hormone-addled brain always seeks the out of doors.
    The guard isn’t there to keep anyone out. It’s to keep Stiles in.

    The blunt hard length of Derek’s cock slides down, skimming past his hole and under his balls, and Stiles sobs, tries to spread his legs wider, because he still hasn’t felt anything all the way in him yet.
    Derek clamps down on him, makes his thighs press together, around him, and they both hiss.
    Stiles squirms, says, “Derek, no, please.”
    “We can’t,” he says, voice tight. He reaches around again for him, but just presses his dick into his belly, palm resting just over the base. He thrusts his hips, pulling back and then jutting forward, sliding along Stiles’s perineum.
    Stiles fumbles a hand down to grasp for the head, but Derek slaps it away.
    He says, “Like this,” and hunches over him, gasping into his shoulder blade. “Stiles.”
    Derek’s hand isn’t even moving on him, just steady, maddening pressure, the scrape of his dick under his balls, and Stiles barely lasts a few minutes. Derek fucks him through it, pace slow, only picking up when Stiles starts whining again, clenching ineffectually at Derek’s wrist.
    Derek groans and trembles and lets Stiles reach back to squeeze a hand tight around his knot.
    “Fuck, fuck,” Derek says, and Stiles bites into the couch cushion and comes again.

    “Stiles,” Derek says, a slight pink burn to his cheeks, “what we did was prevent a pregnancy, not a scandal. Besides,” he stiffens up again, “you’ll get what you wanted.”
    “I… what?” A rock settles in the bottom of Stiles’s stomach, cold.
    “Come on, Stiles.” Derek arches an eyebrow. “You came here on the edge of your heat to trick me into agreeing to marry you. You pretended to be the nanny. The choice is out of our hands.”
    Stiles presses a palm to his rapidly beating heart and says, “You really think I’d do that?”
    Derek frowns. “Why else would you leave your rooms?”
    “Yes,” Stiles says faintly, “why else.” There’s a hollow in his chest, spreading dull acceptance, leaving most of him thankfully numb. Hope for the best, but expect the worst. Isn’t that how the saying goes?

    Scott sends him increasingly worried texts all night that Stiles ignores. He shows up in Stiles’s room at the break of dawn, a whirlwind of wet clothes that he tosses all over the floor, growling, “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to break his face. Can I challenge him to a duel? I’m going to challenge him to a duel of face-punching, and then shatter his kneecaps with a bat.”
    “You can’t challenge the crown prince to a duel,” Stiles says.

    Stiles is humiliated. Even though no one actually said the words Derek doesn’t really want you to his face, he has no doubt that’s what Derek is explaining to everyone right now.

    “Stop it,” Milo says, nudging him with his elbow as the demon horse jerks to a stop at the edge of the stables.
    “Stop what?”
    “I don’t know,” Milo says. “Shouldn’t you be happy?”
    “I don’t know,” Stiles echoes. He’s hoping this will make him happy, but he can’t quite get his brain on board. “He didn’t even say goodbye.”
    “Did you want him to cry in front of everyone?”

    No one ends up killing anyone, but that’s mainly because Cora shows up, and Cora has always been Stiles’s dad’s favorite. She plies him with photos of Artax and hot chocolate and Betsy’s gingerbread cookies while Derek alternates between staring at Stiles and apparently remembering he shouldn’t be staring at Stiles.
    Stiles wouldn’t say Derek’s afraid of his dad, but there’s a certain amount of oh shit visible in his face every time his dad levels him a look.

    Derek says, “C’mon, Stiles,” and, “Wait, wait, just,” and then he pauses with one hand down the back of Stiles’s pants, fingers digging in his ass cheek, and drops his head down onto the top of Stiles’s shoulder. “Wait,” he breathes.
    “I’m waiting,” Stiles says, wriggling in his hold.
    Derek laughs. “Smart ass,” he says. “Everyone is going to wonder where we went.”
    “Everyone is going to know exactly where we went.”
    “What if Milo comes back?”
    “Milo shoved us in this pantry together. If he gets an eyeful, that’s exactly what he deserves.”

  • Public Bookmark 54

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    "Oi, Captain. Tell us all about that girl that rejected you last week."

    Hajime's shoulders stiffened.

    "Makki!" Oikawa wailed. "Where did you hear that? Is that what she's been telling people?"

    Hanamaki shrugged. "Sounds likely to me. Mattsun?"

    "Totally plausible," Matsukawa agreed, nodding along. "You have been dumped three times in a row. What's your secret?"

    A little misunderstanding about a graduation confession drives a wedge between Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Also, they have bunny ears. This has very little relevance to anything.

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    12 Feb 2019

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    with or without bunnyears, these guys have questionable skills in the art of communication. it's cute tho.

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    Oikawa and Iwaizumi see each other again for the first time in three years and learn what it means to be far, or close, or home.

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    06 Feb 2019

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    COMMUNICATION, IT'S A THING, PEOPLE.
    DO IT

    also footnote: my heart might have broken a bit.

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    After the loss of their child, Yoongi and Hoseok are ready to move on - move out of their suburban house into a city, forget their grief and loss and rebuild their lives. At least, they thought they were.

    Each piece of furniture, each spare placemat brings back a memory that they have to relive: their attempts to have a child, the arguments, the pirate dress up days, the sex. And with each memory comes a pain that neither of them quite know what to do with.

    It's a long sixteen hours, but at least they have each other.

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    19 Nov 2018

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    this shit hurted

  • Public Bookmark 93

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    Keith doesn't think this is complicated. Or difficult. Keith is mistaken.

    It's ridiculous that it took so long for them to get to this place, but if there's anything Keith has managed to figure out, it's that other people always seem to make things more complicated than they actually have to be.

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    02 Mar 2018

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    Oh. KEITH. Oh Lance. Oh Shiro.

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    Janey Storm freezes in the doorway.

    Pen is half naked. Her boney, freckled shoulders and the faded sports bra she’s had since high school are on display. Bruises from this morning’s encounter with the Scorpion haven’t had time to heal yet—purples and sickly greens tesselate over her ribs and toned stomach.

    Janey can see every unedited part of Pen: her open knuckles, blood a sharp red against her pale skin; her unbrushed hair, grown out past Pen’s jaw like a tangle of weeds; her loose jeans, slung low on her hips, with fraying ends and ripped knees. Janey stands there and sees Pen Parker, a half naked, wide-eyed girl choking on her heart.

    “It’s occupied,” Pen manages.

    --

    Or: a universe where Johnny and Peter were born girls.

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    11 Dec 2016

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    I fucking adore this; I really hope there's gonna be more :)

  • Public Bookmark 46

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    “You shouldn’t be so hard on him,” Cas says, not unkindly. “After all, you prayed to me.”

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