1 - 20 of 217 Works in Wooden Overcoats (Podcast)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Don't think we get those sorts of spiders on Piffling, Ms. D," the man- Eric, apparently, ooh, what a shifty name- assures her, leaning in close to inspect Rudyard like a bug under a microscope. Which, to be fair, is rather closer to the truth than Rudyard would like. "We're a fair way from Australia!"

    "You never know these days," she says sagely, leveling Rudyard with her trademarked suspicious squint. "All sorts of things stowing away aboard ferries and hot air balloons and whatnot. One never can tell what might tumble out of the cargo hold..."

    For once, Agatha, Rudyard muses, returning this strange man's gaze with an eight-eyed glower of his own. I couldn't agree more.

     

    In which Rudyard is cursed to be even more unpopular than he's accustomed to, and Chapman is a charming newcomer with a soft spot for creepy crawlies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,420
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    963
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After months of tension, rival undertakers Antigone Funn and Eric Chapman find themselves in a unique arrangement. With weeks of undercover trysts under their belts, traipsing in dark corners and in hidden rooms—it’s clear that if anything was to be said at all, it would’ve been said already.

    It shouldn’t matter though. It’s just sex. Right?

    Regardless, Antigone’s under quite a lot of strain when her embalming machine malfunctions again. Alarmingly enough, it may not be the only apparatus currently breaking down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,291
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    68
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Antigone. I thought you…” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

    “I want to get coffee with you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,083
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    78
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Weariness wore Marlene down, it was evident in the dark circles underneath her eyes; her voice was gravelly as she spoke. Any minor hitch, no matter how minuscule, could drive the ringmistress into a rage in her frustrated, fatigued state. Antigone never wanted to admit she could be the same way when things did not go the way she intended them to, it was not lost on her how much she saw herself in Marlene when she was working herself to exhaustion like this with her perfectionist ways. She felt a need to take care of her, yet not for herself."

    Marlene Magdalena runs a tight ship, or rather a tight circus, causing her a lot more stress than she is ever willing to admit. Thankfully for those who are stuck as subordinates to the ringmistress, Antigone is there; the only person able to calm the tyrannical woman. And has Antigone ever mentioned how masterful she is at breaking rigor mortis?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,656
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    29
  5. Tags
    Summary

    An intimate look at one of Antigone's nightly vigils.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    70
  6. Tags
    Summary

    He smiles and waves, but he doesn’t understand it. The light in her eyes and the lightness in their banter and the reflection of the sunset in her hair.
    Well, you should run along and enjoy yourself, shouldn’t you?

    Eric Chapman is a funeral director on the island of Piffling Vale. He used to be someone else. He wishes he wasn't anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    83
  7. Tags
    Summary

    If you liked my first two fics... then I would still tread carefully honestly haha. This is even more self-indulgent and ridiculous than the other ones. I mean, I love it... but I make no promises that you will. 😂

    Just three short chapters of Piffling Vale's resident oddity and charmer getting sick and taking care of one another. Because it's really sort of officially come home to me that it's likely gonna be a while yet until we get season 4 😕 Stupid COVID... So have some more ridiculous and self indulgent fics from me! Y'all deserve it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,187
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    347
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore.
    Rudyard is a cantankerous, taciturn man without height, charisma or any memorable features. Most people hate him - that is if they recognise him out of the context of his funeral home at all. He is quite used to that by now.
    But that all changes when, by a quirk of fate, he learns that someone on the island has developed some intensely conflicted feelings towards him.
    For the first time in his life, Rudyard has an admirer.
    If only he knew what to do about it!


    Eyes flailing, ricocheting in their sockets Rudyard cast a desperate glance about himself for an excuse, any excuse to further stall Chapman and finally blurted.
    'What about dinner?' This had the desired effect because Chapman's purposeful march petered into a stop.
    'Well, what about it?' He mumbled, facing Rudyard once more.
    'W-would you like to have dinner tonight?'
    'I like to have dinner every night. Now, if that is all you wanted, I guess I might just-'
    'More specifically, would you like to have dinner with me?'
    'Oh, blimey. Well yes, bloody yes, of course!'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,356
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    664
  9. Tags
    Summary

    John's life really cannot get any more complicated, can it? Really, he just wants to smoke his cigarette in peace and stare suspiciously at passerby.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,783
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    184
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard's absurd plan with taking nearly half of the pumpkin's from Eric's pumpkin patch is the last thing on Antigone's mind while she spends her chilly autumn afternoon carving pumpkins with Marlene. She does, eventually, have to go home and see what her brother and Georgie were up to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    40
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Off the coast of Northern California there was an island called Piffling, and on this island was a village called Piffling Vale that was very nearly a town. In this village there is a family that was not quite like the others. The Reverend, Nigel Wavering, had decided that as part of his service to God (who may or may not exist), he would adopt the children whose parents had died tragically in a hearse accident. The children were Rudyard and Antigone Funn. Rudyard used to be enjoying his life. He isn’t anymore. Eric Chapman had moved to Piffling just before the beginning of the school year, and in just three short months it had become very clear that anything Rudyard could do, Eric could do better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,705
    Chapters:
    4/15
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    116
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman: look, ive been thinking

    Rudyard Funn: oh, was it hard?

    Eric Chapman: i

    Eric Chapman: shut up and let me speak

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,372
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    224
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Am I the asshole for trying to get my neighbor kicked off the island?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,343
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    352
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Yes, she wanted Chapman’s funeral home shut down, but she wanted to be the one to deal the killing blow, dig the grave, put the final nail in the coffin. It was no good if Chapman did it himself.

    She should give him a piece of her mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,276
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    122
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The Piffling Amateur Dramatics Society's fall production is starting rehearsals, with Georgie Crusoe at the helm. Will Antigone be able to handle the role? And her feelings? And will Miss Scruple play the right notes on the organ?
    All this and more, waiting behind the curtain...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,696
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    111
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “I love you, you know.”

    Eric Chapman made every effort to remain at once very still on the mortuary table, while at the same time not betraying the fact that he had to put special effort into doing so. His eyes remained fixed to the ceiling.

    “Oh?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,475
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    74
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As any carnival or circus should, the Piffling Traveling Circus has a myriad of amusement machines, most of which Antigone finds pointless as she much prefers watching the performances. Despite her dislike for the contraptions she finds that even the smaller things that the circus offers her can bring her joy, as long as the ringmistress is by her side.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,501
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    59
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Marlene tells Antigone the circumstances surrounding her arrival to Pifflingvale.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,770
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    27
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman was asleep. He isn't anymore.

    Thanks to a phone call from Rudyard Funn, he finds himself in Funn Funerals wearing a coat and pajamas, and trying to calm Rudyard down from some sort of breakdown.

    Rudyard has mixed feelings on the matter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,769
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    316
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When another tragic death strikes the Piffling Traveling Circus, Marlene once again finds herself in Funn Funerals. Although only there for business, her reappearance in Antigone's life sets off everything she had been trying to repress since her overly dramatic confession at the theater.
    Moment by moment she finds herself drawn to the ringmistress and can no longer hide away in the shadows of her mortuary, no matter how dearly she once desired to do so.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,120
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    516

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