1 - 20 of 79 Works in Warning: Israel Hands

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Honestly?” Izzy finally rasped. He watched Ed, waiting for confirmation that he understood he was about to be quite candid. “My plan for the day was t’ talk some fuckin’ sense into ya,” he said in a resigned exhale.
    He waited for Edward to groan, roll his eyes, complain loudly and just be generally obstinate. But he didn’t; he smiled. It wasn’t a bitter sarcastic smirk either but a grin that seemed genuinely warm, if perhaps slightly bemused.
    Izzy felt himself jerk back in surprise as he scanned Ed’s body language up and down. “The fuck are ya lookin’ at me like that for?” He snapped.
    “I think I finally get you, Iz. It’s fuckin’ nuts.”
    Izzy shook his head, eyes widening in disbelief as he felt a traitorous flush warm his cheeks. “No. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about!” He turned and stomped away to lean on the dining table.


    Or: What if Ed realized the pain he was experiencing in ep10 was of a kind with what Izzy had felt about him for so long? What if he spoke the unspoken? What if Izzy never threatened "Edward" and he never became The Kraken? What if the crew of the Revenge helped a pair of idiots out of their toxic patterns and they found happiness? And then Stede arrived

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,485
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2965
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After an unlikely meeting, world famous horror author Ed Teach helps struggling bookstore owner Stede Bonnet keep his business from running aground. The pair navigate the highs and lows of running a business as well as their growing feelings for each other.
    Originally posted on Twitter @SamsonSCD

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,482
    Chapters:
    44/?
    Comments:
    155
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    5411
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Roach wants a cat onboard to get rid of all the vermin in his kitchen. Ivan points out that if there's going to be a cat aboard, it would only be fair for Fang to have a dog.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,119
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    825
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The closet was the one thing about the cabin he didn’t have the heart to change.

    *

    In which Stede finds himself writing letters he will never send, and Blackbeard finds himself in a closet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,470
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1532
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It's been several weeks now on board of the Revenge. Stede grew to be a competent co-captain alongside his love, Ed. Everything is perfect.
    If only Izzy could finally accept him as his captain, too. Stede seems to have tried all possible ways to get to him. But one.

    It's been several dreaded weeks on board of the fucking Revenge and Izzy hated every second of it. If only Ed would give him just a fraction of the attention he showers Stede with. He has tried all possible ways to humiliate Stede in front of Blackbeard and make his boss hate the guy as much as he did. All ways but one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,387
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    746
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Ed gives Stede some advice about how to handle Izzy--it works a little too well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,532
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    190
    Kudos:
    552
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    6707
  7. Tags
    Summary

    He'll only ever be Israel Hands.

    But Isreal Hands isn’t weak anymore.

    Israel Hands isn’t unloved anymore.

    Izzy is worthy of love, especially from the men he worships the most.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,993
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1119
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “That’s what I’m trying to say, you absolutely repugnant little man,” he snaps. “No one wants to see you leave!”

    Izzy raises his eyebrows and scoffs. Pull the other one, you twat.

    -

    In which Ed and Stede figure out how to be happy, and that means sorting shit out with Izzy. Through the power of kinky sex as therapy, obviously.

    This is heading for a steddyhands happily ever after, but it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,105
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    256
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2811
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Our First Mate is under the weather.” Stede helpfully fills in for him. “Sugar?”

    “No, thank you. I’m, have I been kidnapped?”

    “What? No! No of course not! Nothing of the sort!”

    “May I leave?”

    “Well-“

    Or-

    Izzy Hands takes a sword to the right side in a raid and, as science tells us, needs medical attention. The doctor they definitely don’t kidnap from a port in Trinidad is definitely not falling for Izzy, Izzy is definitely not wishing everyone would leave him alone, and Lucius is probably having the time of his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,233
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    224
    Kudos:
    358
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    5747
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Young Edward Teach and his best mate Israel Hands return from war and find themselves at odds with their former employer, the British Navy. Everything changes when Captain Benjamin Hornigold offers them a place on his crew aboard The Ranger; one of the most heavily armed pirate vessels. The two hesitantly oblige, and the rest is (quite literally, at times) history.
    This prequel theorizes the origins of our beloved characters through a tale of betrayal, heartbreak, love, loss, and loyalty.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,199
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    51
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Ed! This is a child!” Stede pointed at the snarling rags encoiled in Ed’s arms.

    “S’not a child.”

    “A
    human child! We can’t just—”

    Ed kidnaps a kid. Hijinks and unraveling of parental trauma ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,467
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    410
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Almost a year after Mary & Doug’s wedding, it’s Ed & Stede’s turn to get hitched! With Izzy as Ed’s best man and Lucius as Stede’s, plus an old friend-slash-ex showing up to crash the party, what could possibly go wrong?

    Sequel to the Blackbonnet fake dating au "Perfect Pretenders". This time with Spriggyhands!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,606
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    317
    Kudos:
    332
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    5691
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Stede checks Roach out from a Library that loans out criminals for sex then proceeds to make him do everything, but have sex. Izzy is a dogearing book ruiner who ruins things. Roach is just happy to be off the shelf.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    128
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “I wish I had someone to talk to who understood any of this,” Guillermo complains, slouching into a chair. “Working for a—I don’t know, legend? Myth? Who follows his next whim without any real plan and ignores most of my advice! Which is very good, by the way, and focused on him not dying for real. And then the ingratitude on top of that or not seeing everything I do… ugh.” Guillermo covers his face with his hands. “I mean, who could understand.”

    --

    Guillermo makes a wish in front of the Djinn. Izzy Hands visits 2022 Staten Island.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    529
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A throwaway comment about Izzy never laughing descends into a threeway tickle fight in which there are no losers. Stede discovers that he may enjoy being tickled as much as his partners do, and is 'encouraged' to talk it through.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,816
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    883
  16. Tags
    Summary

    This takes place during OFMD Season 2, Ed and Stede more or less made up when Ed's old captain, Benjamin Hornigold, visits the ship.

    He recalls an 'amusing' prank they played on Israel hands. This is part 1.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    863
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    371
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Captain Blackbeard is as mean an alpha as the seven seas has ever seen. It is on theme that his ruts are a force to be reckoned with, that's why nobody has been allowed near him during such a time when his instincts are high and his inhibitions are low-- at that point, you'd stand better chances fighting a pack of wolves butt naked, really.

    Who better to face such a challenge than the determined and brave Gentleman Pyrate?

    Turns out nobody seen Edward rutting for good reason, but its not because he's dangerous. 'Pathetic' is perhaps a better word for it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,054
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    309
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2453
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Ed Teach is middle-aged when he finally gets a new start. Unfortunately, pieces of his old life aren't quite done with him yet. And maybe he's not done with them, either.

    A modern AU about rocking, partying, and choices.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,961
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1057
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy is just trying to make it to morning without a hangover while the rest of the crew party at Spanish Jackie’z. Calico Jack decides to mess with him, and Izzy ends up pulled into something he never expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,291
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    31
    Hits:
    415
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Stede has hurt his back, and (un)fortunately for him, Izzy is the one who finds him. Izzy, who has worked on pirate ships for long enough to have picked up on how to help with aches and pains, helps his second captain out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,364
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    625

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