1 - 20 of 61 Works in Vernon Dursley Being an Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Dudley’s daughter is magic.” He said, astonished by the very words. “She’s a witch.”
    Petunia looked insulted. “She’s a Dursley!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,415
    Chapters:
    8/20
    Comments:
    139
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    3820
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After the death of his godfather, Harry Potter receives a letter from Gringotts urging him to claim the assets Sirius left behind. While there, Harry discovers secrets about himself, his family, and the man he's been looking up to since first year.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,480
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    365
    Bookmarks:
    148
    Hits:
    5574
  3. Tags
    Summary

    so basically a few friends and i have literally just taken the harry potter books and added in a bunch of headcannons and lgbtq+ and poc rep as well as cleared up some plot holes. most of the changes come later on in the books so you kinda have to look at the details for now. anyways this is gonna be a long ass ride so here we go.

    disclaimer: we do not own the plot, characters or world, they belong (unfortunatly) to the asshole terf named J.K. Rowling.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,884
    Chapters:
    5/17
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    192
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Making deals with gods is never recommended, but with a deal this good 11 year old Harry Potter can't help himself.

    He thought he wanted to be nobody, but really, all he wants is to be Harry again and he will make that happen no matter the cost.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,507
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    133
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When a magic-user reaches their sixteenth birthday, they gain their full magical, physical, and developmental maturity. Typically, the family and school would help these children develop and handle their powers. But what happens when no one warns the child? What happens when this child is the Boy Who lived? Everything is not as it seems in Hogwarts. Dumbledore seems to be controlling the strings, and harry's friends seem different.
    First fic so constuctive criticism is welcome. Please don't hate on the fic please. M/M and minor F/M don't like don't read.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,116
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    369
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    4835
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter: Disgrace of a human being, gardener, cook, best friend of a certain shaggy-haired someone, and.... closet wizard?

     

    (Basically the first movie with some alterations because we’ve all seen how the movie plays out by this point.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,093
    Chapters:
    20/29
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    4464
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Harriet "Harry" Potter is enjoying life just being, she reads, sleeps and eat. Life is good.

    Until she gets the bloody letter from some 'magical' institution and her life is suddenly turned upside down, with a bunch of expectations on her shoulders and people claiming to 'know' and 'love' her. As if.

    Luckily, Harry can shoulder the weight of everything just fine. What she can't, however, stand for is the old coot lame attempts to manipulate her life and the annoyingly fake stutter of her DADA teacher.

    First year at Hogwarts and everything's already going to hell. Cheers.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,688
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2306
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harry doesn’t know he’s a squib, or that his parents were murdered by an evil wizard. All that he knows is that he’s poor, gay, and tired, and the sexy nuisance known as Draco Malfoy is more trouble than he’s worth.

    A coffee shop AU that spun immediately and wildly out of control, becoming an epic tale of the fight against Voldemort, with a surprising number of Marxist themes. Pray for me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,741
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    534
  9. Tags
    Summary

    I'm rewriting the entire Harry Potter series because fuck J.K. Rowling. Also every chapter is going to be really long because I'm actually rewriting every single chapter, one by one. So expect decent breaks between each post I guess? aaaaaa
    Will include: decently accurate trauma in characters because hey things happen, you know? actual development, and more characters coming to the forefront.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,217
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1537
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Harry gets kicked out by Vernon, and ends up living on the streets, when he meets Tom Riddle, a suspiciously nice man who is willing to pay for Harry to go through police training. Harry is weary, but accepts, as he really doesn't have a way to pay for it himself and it's always been his dream. Harry spends two months with Tom when he learns something very upsetting, will he stay with Tom, or will he leave? He can't quite decide.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,547
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1375
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Harry and Celeste are excited to be returning to Hogwarts for their 2nd Year. But things are going to be complicated. As there is a dark plot in the making, and someone doesn't want the Potters to return to their beloved world of magic.
    Warning: This will be darker than the first book.
    Any familiar characters are J.K. Rowlings as is the main plot.
    ~Fifth Chapter!~

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,973
    Chapters:
    5/19
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    663
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Eleven-year-old Harry Potter is a little confused. Raised to believe she was nought but a freak and her parents were drunken, unemployed burdens to society, it's safe to say she's more than a little suspicious when a secret world hidden from ordinary people owes her for ending a vicious war.
    The problem is, the Harry that arrives at Hogwarts is a little different than most would expect, she's not about to lie down and let the illustrious Headmaster dictate her life. He left her at the Dursleys, now he's got the deal with the consequences.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,135
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    693
    Bookmarks:
    235
    Hits:
    10848
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Draco moves into a new flat and finds out the walls between his flat and the one above his are thinner than he thought. He can hear all of the bad things going on above him and can’t help but play hero to one green-eyed boy named Harry Potter. Now add in unbreakable friendships with Pansy, Blaise, and Theo who come along for decorating, movie nights, game nights and help save the pretty boy who lives upstairs.

    a/n I feel like this is a bit all over the place but whatever. Also it was inspired by Alec Benjamin's song Must Have Been the Wind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,522
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1606
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "What happens after death?" "No one knows." Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy know, I mean, they are dead....right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    473
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    99
  15. Tags
    Summary

    You have many marks, many signs of loss and pain – because pain, as you know, is taught, and the Dursleys were excellent teachers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,481
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1200
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Hadrian and Celeste have only really had each other. They share a room, a cupboard under the stairs, and everything else right down to the odd matching lightning bolt scars on their foreheads. What if, by chance, there is another world that they both belong to, a world full of magic, adventures, and friends. Will their bond survive this new world?

    Any familiar characters are J.K. Rowlings as is the main plot.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,441
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1807
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Alastair (the sorting hat) has decided, in the golden trio's 4th year, to resort Harry Potter. He thinks it's time for Harry to be himself and learn the truth, as well as open up about his horrifying, abusive past. He sorts Harry...into SLYTHERIN. Harry learns of his 'friends' betrayals, the many lies that he has been told, and...his true identity? He learned where his loyalties should lie, who his true family is, and who his true fronds are. But will he ever tell them about the abuse he has suffered? Will he ever open up? What happens when he falls in love with a man who hates his guts?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,813
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    544
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    17848
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Harry n'est jamais revenu faire sa seconde année à Poudlard. Les élèves s'y sont fait mais sa disparition est demeurée un grand mystère. Quand son nom sort de la Coupe de Feu et qu'un écran se dresse devant eux, c'est l'occasion d'apprendre ce qui est réellement arrivé au Survivant.
    Ils n'étaient pas près pour ça.

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    23,792
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1016
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The sequel to Petunia's Duo Dilemma. Severus Snape takes the Potter siblings in and is annoyed to discover Petunia and Dudley need to be welcomed into his home. A trial ensues and the Hogwarts Staff try to make a wrong situation right. Please note that chapters will be rather sporadically posted. The first five were already posted on FFN and are being rewritten/adapted to here.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,564
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    128
  20. Tags
    Summary

    At a young age, Harry learned that he liked the taste of cum. After extensive emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from his uncle, Harry is sold off to a wealthy Frenchman who decides to raise Harry as his own personal sissy. There Harry meets the stoic butler, Benoit, who reveals to the boy that he is a vampire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,531
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    376
    Bookmarks:
    97
    Hits:
    36873

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