12 Works in Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch is a Mess

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    I feel like he can see everything. I feel like he knows all my thoughts. Fuck. His lips move to form a cruel sneer before he speaks again.

    “Oh no. This is more sad than I thought. Come on. You can’t honestly think that we’re soulmates.” He laughs humourlessly, “Don’t start acting like I need you. I’ve always been best alone.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,037
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    128
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Baz saved up for a remote control vibrator a while back and she used it during fights with her awful roommate.

    Then, said awful roommate, stole the remote.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1235
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Natasha Grimm-Pitch The Second is scared of monsters under the bed. She knows it’s irrational because her dads wouldn’t even let a vampire near her, let alone under her bed.

    Right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,244
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    483
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Following his midlife crisis, Baz finds himself in the middle of the countryside. It’s plenty annoying as it is, without the trouble of him meeting the local constable Simon Snow, whom he somehow finds attractive. But that is only due to the bloody fresh air, right? Not in one hundred years would Baz fall for someone like him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,477
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    945
  5. Tags
    Summary

    it's eighth year at watford and simon and baz are living together in the tower as always. something is wrong with simon, but he can't seem to figure out what. in the meantime, baz is tormented by his own feelings. as usual.

    — simon's queer realization, baz just trying to survive his last year with his worst enemy (who's also the love of his life.) —

    chapters posted twice a week for now. (i'm lying we don't have a posting schedule rn)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,591
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1267
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Simon adopts a cat. Baz pretends to hate him. It's probably safer for everyone this way...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,534
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    372
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Simon is a Plumber.
    Baz has a crush.
    Sexy plumbing innuendo and awkward puns ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    536
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Simon doesn't get back up in battle.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,136
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    47
    Hits:
    445
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Baz and Simon are desperate to let go, to have sex.

    But, unfortunately, this is unsexy Saturday- and it never goes the way they want it to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    619
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Two kisses.” Simon said, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me forward.
    I had often imagined what kissing Simon Snow would feel like. Mostly, I thought it would be like putting my lips against a candle flame. I was wrong, it was like being submerged in the sun, starting from my lips and spreading throughout my body. I melted for him. I became pliant- because I’m a weak fuck when it comes to this damned sunshine of a boy. He pulls me in, and I try to get as close as possible. He pushes me and I push back. Push and pull, back and forth, until I’m sprawled out on the ground under him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    586
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Another wrong number fic only they're both insane and depressed and also just really stupid teenagers. Wait, never mind, that's already canon lol.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,218
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    166
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Hey guess who's posting this legitimately heartwarming Snowbaz story with a stupid title and summary???? me
    anyway this is what would have happened if Baz had kissed Simon earlier I promise it's good

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,911
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    215
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1502

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