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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Penny practically had to hold me in place at breakfast. I wanted to rush over to Baz and interrogate him about where he’s been, why he left for so long. I wanted to hold him down, so I could make sure he was real, that it was really him.

    He definitely tailored his uniform with magic, but I don’t know what spell he used. 'Like a glove' would’ve made his weight loss more obvious, but they’re loose in all the right places (for the most part at least—I can notice the difference—but I’ve shared a room with him for seven years). Thanks to the amount of time I’ve spent staring at him today, I noticed his wrist bones sticking out when he was adjusting his cuffs. I don’t like to see him so frail.

    I need to know what happened to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,195
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    268
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In a human world where creatures are expected to keep their heads down, Simon and Baz are trying to live their best lives, despite the secrets they both are hiding.

    Baz is a sought-after nutritionist, populating his Instagram with feel-good stories of his human clients, while discreetly treating his creature clients with true passion. He is accomplished, self-reliant and keeps others at arm’s length. Simon is a care home employee who is working towards realising his life’s dream of becoming a firefighter.

    Simon needs help getting his cholesterol numbers down so he can join the fire brigade. Baz is reluctant to take him on – this guy Snow comes on way too strong for Baz’s comfort. But Simon is determined to secure Baz’s assistance and maybe he'll help Baz open up enough to find what he's been missing too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,988
    Chapters:
    13/20
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1697
  3. Tags
    Summary

    We fell asleep like that. Bickering in place. It was a normal day. Any perfect day, nothing out of place or extraordinary.

    Simon snow and baz pitch are living their lives, a year after the events that happened in any way the wind blows.
    suddenly, out of nowhere they find themselves back in their final year of Watford, stuck, and they are the only ones who seem to remember anything.

    they fuck a bunch of shit up and be homosexuals pretty much.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,520
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    368
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Baz Pitch's life is changing, and he categorically does not approve—he's moving to London for a postgraduate degree, everything he's ever owned and known packed into cardboard boxes. Climbing into a car with his aunt, he says goodbye to all that's right and familiar. And when they get lost coming off the M6, ending up on a winding country lane, he doesn't fight it... anything that might delay his mildly terrifying fate could only be a good thing, right? Even if that delay turns into disaster, and then—dare we say—an adventure. (Oh, the horror.) To find his way home again, Baz will need to dispense with his past and follow the river—and, of course, keep a careful hold on his name.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,986
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1726
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Baz Pitch is his mother's son. Nearly from birth, he was taught the Old Ways of harnessing magic. He was taught to use the cycles of the moon, the days of the solstices, and the minerals from the Earth to cast spells. He was taught, from a young age, that Magic, while ever changing, is also grounded in tradition.

    When his mother is killed in an attack on Watford, the blame is placed on the Ancient magic she called upon for protection and power. Since then, the Old Ways were seen as Dark, Evil, and far too dangerous and obscure for modernity. With the death of Natasha Pitch, came the death of Ancient Magic.

    But Baz Pitch is his mother's son, and while he has to hide his Dark knowledge to the other magicians, he knows it won't be forever. He was taught well, and when the moment comes, he will take back his mother's legacy.

    And no one (especially not the Mage's puppet, Simon Snow) will stand in his way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,197
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    502
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Young god of love Simonides is tasked by his father, the god of war, to bring about the ruin of a mortal prince to punish his blasphemy. However, once Simonides sees his intended victim, he begins to have misgivings. Prince Tyrannus might have offended the gods with his very existence, but all Simonides can see is how beautiful and lonely he is.

    Or, a very loose interpretation of the Eros and Psyche myth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    129,622
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    200
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    4224
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In need of more dancers, Watford takes in guests from other ballet companies. Unfortunately for Simon, that includes Baz. They hate each other and they drive everyone insane with their stupid little fights. Or so they thought... What if that hatred actually came in handy for the company? What if it changed everything? What if it did revolution?

    Rating went up to Mature due to sensitive topics and TWs

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,754
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2011
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Baz Grimm-Pitch is the fearsome Vampire King's right hand - cold, cruel, and completely unemotional.

    Until, of course, the idea of an alliance with a mysterious Mage from England is proposed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    165
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Baz is not the Queen of England.
    (Until he is.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,171
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    70
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Spit it out,” I snarl. I’m not angry at him, but at the unfairness of the universe for making me love someone who hates me.
    “I don’t understand. Have we met?”

    Simon is spelled and loses his memory. Baz has to help him get it back. But he knows that Simon getting his memory back means that he'll hate him again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,348
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    476
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Simon likes being a goatherd. He lives in a cosy barn on the edge of a fishing town. He always lends a hand when someone is in trouble on the moor, and he always pays his tithe to the Fae. Then, while searching for shipwreck salvage, he pulls something unexpected from the sea. His old childhood friend/enemy, Baz Pitch; changed and fleeing his Fae captors. Now Simon has to care for a fugitive merman, all while learning there's a lot of truth in the old stories he heard as a child.

    A story about curses and what it means to be human.

    Carry On Countdown 2022 (Day 2 - AU). Features art from ErzbethLuna

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,235
    Chapters:
    4/14
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    668
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "The Greatest Mage is alive and living in the Wavering Wood. He has wings and a tail and breathes fucking fire, and he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.
    Simon Snow is the Chosen One. And I don’t think he has the slightest idea of what he is."

    Simon Snow was born (as far as he knows) in the Wavering Wood and raised by Ebb, a kind dryad. He has more magic and questions than he knows what to do with, and his only connection to the world outside the forest is his best friend, Penelope Bunce. He fights monsters when they attack and waits for a day when something new finally happens.
    Baz Pitch is the rightful heir to the throne. At least the Old Families think so. When it comes to their plans for taking down the Mage and regaining control of the kingdom, Baz is the key. Baz's best chance of accomplishing what he's been raised for is to beat the Mage to the punch and find what he's hidden in the Wavering Wood. It's not a very creative plan, but it's all he has.
    They both get more than what they bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    129,634
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    3655
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A postmortem of the Carry On Pornbots.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,324
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    162
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    355
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Sounds to me like he’s the problem,” Baz replies just as quietly, as if he’s a completely neutral source of advice who’s only just now sparing the subject a second thought.

    “You’re biassed,” I say, poking his middle.

    “In your favour? Naturally.”

     

    Or: When Baz decides, mid-truce, to help Simon feel better and stand up for himself, they get to know each other more. Some secrets come to light. Romantic fluff ensues.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    613
  15. Tags
    Summary

    This is a tale of what could have happened if the Insidious Humdrum had taken Baz and Simon at the end of 7th year.

    Of what this could have done to their relationship.

    Of how the Mage and Old Families could have reacted.

    Of what could have been if they'd figured it out sooner.

    Of what potential Simon had in sharing his Magic with Baz.

    Of how many different ways Simon could have shared his Magic with Baz.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,300
    Chapters:
    2/18
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    326
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Three years ago, Natasha Pitch ruled in favour of Nicodemus Petty having his fangs pulled, his wand snapped, and his name struck from the book, forever ostracising him from the World of Mages.

    Now she awakes in her home, having survived the flames that consumed her as she killed the vampires who attacked Watford, her blood burning and her teeth sharp.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,390
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    297
  17. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    210
    Chapters:
    1/14
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    193
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Simon Snow falls to a Humdrum attack and is locked in a deadly dream. To survive, he has to choose the dream that is true. But Simon's not historically been good at recognising lies...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,100
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1466
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The first thing I register when I enter my room is the fact that there's someone on Baz’s bed.

    He’s relatively tall and has short, curly, golden brown hair. It’s sort of like mine, but if my hair could listen to what I tell it to.
    I can tell by the way that his hair is pin-straight at the back that it’s not really curly, though.

    The second thing I register is that they are Kissing.

    -Or, Baz spends seventh year discovering there are quite a lot of curly haired blue eyed men at Watford, and Snow sees something that makes him question his entire existence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,924
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2822
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Simon never sees his manager Baz outside of work at their fancy-schmancy food co-op that Baz's mother started years ago. He only ever sees him in cardigans, khakis, and sensible shoes wearing a scowl on his face.

    But when Baz announces the staff holiday party will be at his house this year, Simon is thrown for a loop. Will the same rules of engagement apply outside the world of their work? Or will there be something more to Baz that Simon may not be prepared to see?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,084
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    342

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