1 - 20 of 1431 Works in The Condesce (Homestuck)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A President and a comedian-turned-Rebellion-leader walk into a bar. Well, not a bar, but it's the President's office. And the President is the only one doing any walking in. It's unclear what the Rebellion leader is actually doing there or how he got in, but if this is a specific joke, there better be one hell of a punchline.

    Entry for the DirkJohn Big Bang 2020, updates on Sundays.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    176,798
    Chapters:
    22/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3329
  2. Tags
    Summary

    || O B E Y || --E || SUBMIT ||

    Each detail of him is like a movie playing in your head too fast. You keep pausing it, trying to see why it's so familiar. But it just keeps going.

    R E JECTED REJEC TED RE JECTE D

    He is the memories you can't remember, the burning inside your head that screams at something locked. Something is wrong inside of both of you.

    ERROR! ERROR! ERR---

    He's the fire, you're the match.

    You'll watch her motherfucking kingdom burn for this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,754
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    642
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After a ship wreck, Dave Strider washes up on the shore of a small island. He is surprised to find that a man his age is living on the remote little island. Dave suffers from grave injuries and is taken care of by the island's only inhabitant.

    The wind undertook a human form and name long ago, now going by John Egbert, the wind has distance himself from humanity and finds solace on a secluded island, that is until a injured human washes up on his home's shore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,218
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    142
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Marvus, as he was and as he wasn’t.

    (This was written thinking about the prompts "Bloodswap," "Lusus," and "Hobbies," for Marvus Week 2021 on Tumblr.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,923
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    64
  5. Tags
    Summary

    More than two sweeps after being returned to a restored Alternia, the trolls face impending adulthood and banishment from the planet. Gamzee Makara fully expects to be culled on conscription for poor health and sopor addiction - what he doesn't count on is the personal attention and protection of the Grand Highblood.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    198,739
    Chapters:
    48/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1032
    Kudos:
    2123
    Bookmarks:
    511
    Hits:
    64080
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The thing about the Multiverse Theory is that it leaves a spacious seat for Murphy’s Law to sit its ass down and completely wreck everyone’s individual shits. So when Dave and Dirk find a webcomic called Homestuck, the least surprising thing that occurs is their lives taking an instant downward spiral. All Dave wanted to do was draw his subjectively amazing comic and survive at the bare minimum, but really, who can blame him for anything that happens afterward.
    OR
    In which the main protagonist discovers a comic about himself and righteously flips the fuck out causing a chain of events that leads to the end of the universe as we know it, meeting some zany characters along the way and playing a game with his friends.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    128,040
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    3091
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You're a terrific pilot, and it's another night in hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,955
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    67
  8. Tags
    Summary

    So the prompt was The Condesce doing a cooking show with a bunch of contortion (either as betty crocker or the empress)

    Condy is very tall and curvy
    Jane is tall and chubby-curvy
    Dad is Also there

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,895
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    44
  9. Tags
    Summary

    (Formerly titled Eclipse Recoiling.)

     

    You can't hide from your own horrifically bad timing. Maybe you sort of knew that this was going to happen eventually, but the 'when' part of the whole shitstorm couldn't have come at a worse time.

    You are about to be involved in a war. An actual ‘sucks that I might not see my late twenties’ kind of war.

    And you chose now to fall in love with a colossal fucking jerk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,419
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    830
  10. Tags
    Summary

    in an alternate universe where canon is treated like a piece of discarded garbage, the hiveswap trolls meet some newcomers that seem...strangely familiar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,552
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1826
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to Condy's home for people from wayward timelines.

    Completely altruistic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,803
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    216
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A Japanese academy teacher teams up with Sunset Shimmer to stop an alien invasion of Earth. All art by Reiduran!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,958
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    2639
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Feferi Peixes does NOT want to get married to her best friend, Eridan Ampora. If she were to break a few rules.. what could go so wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,164
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    19
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The Game has finally been won. That doesn't mean it's over, though. The Universe Tadpole is taking its sweet time growing up, there are some loose ends that need tying, and questions left unanswered.

    Besides, there's also a debt to repay, and a self-sacrificing pain-in-the-ass to haul off of Death's front lawn before he ends up in afterlife jail or some shit. You know, the usual stuff.

    The usual stuff that, of course, manages to open up an even BIGGER can of worms than Bec Noir, the Batterwitch, and the Saw-obsessed shit-talking alien brat turned universe-destroying timelord with a billiard ball themed leprechaun gang combined.

    No one is surprised by this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,877
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    145
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2833
  15. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    835
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    100
  16. Tags
    Summary

    On a mission to deliver Feferi to the Condesce's ship, the crew makes a detour to inspect an adrift wreck.

    Naturally, this is a mistake.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,173
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    62
  17. Tags
    Summary

    You are Cronus’ lover! You’re his first and he’s so proud to be with you!

    This isn’t about him though, it’s about an old man who can’t get over how one little human could wrap him around their finger so effortlessly.

    This is about Dualscar seriously lusting after his son’s hot datemate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,313
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    677
  18. Tags
    Summary

    If you were to ask Eridan Ampora how to describe his best friend Karkat Vantas, he would say he was mean. Short, loud. In need of a anger management class. He would then go on to say he is kind, obviously aware of the hypocrisy in that. He would say Karkat is kind, generous and fair. A good friend who sets your shit straight.

    If you asked Karkat Vantas about Eridan Ampora, he would say, 'fishbrain', and snap at you to leave it alone, not ever daring to tell you how he feels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,591
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    42
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Wow, Tavros,” snorts Vriska, “I think this unintelligent creature is you.”

    You and the other unintelligent creature make eye contact.

    He doesn’t seem like to you, upfront.

    “Wow, if you think I’m like that guy, then, then you’re wrong.” “Morty” laughs, or something. “At least my legs work, and, and some other stuff, am I right?”

    You don’t seem to like him upfront.

    “Shit, Morty, the guys upstairs are in talks with TLC for this storyline, you ableist piece of shit.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    104
  20. Tags
    Summary

    For your first conversation with a human other than the only other surviving person on the planet, you suppose it could’ve gone worse. This Jake guy ended up quite a lot more interesting than was previously expected. You anticipated a typical kid from a happy, normal family to be bitter about, but as it turns out, he’s almost as isolated as you are. His story sounded a bit farfetched, but you’d found yourself believing him because he just seemed so painfully... sincere.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    94,543
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    155
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    4361

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