1 - 20 of 2,581 Works in The Colonel

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "You know, sweetheart," Elvis started, settling back further into his chair, letting his legs fall apart before he rested a big palm on each muscular thigh. His rings glittered in the candlelight, as did his belt buckle. It was like a flickering silver runway that led your eyes straight to his crotch. "Right after every show, we take all them—" his eyes crinkled with mirth or embarrassment or a mixture of the two, "—brassieres 'n' things, the undergarments, the flowers—we take 'em all and get rid of 'em out back, dispose of 'em. Security reasons, The Colonel says."

    You scratched your pen along your notebook. "That seems wise," you said.

    "Still," he began. He furrowed his brows, appearing like he was internally deciding whether or not to continue his train of thought aloud. He was quiet for so long you wondered if he even had more to say. Eventually, though, he broke the silence, his voice drizzling sweet and thick from his lips. "Honey, if I looked down after a show and saw your panties in the lot… well, I'd might just wanna keep 'em."

    OR, the story of how you get swept up into the hip-wigglin', song-singin', sex-swingin' world of the one and only King, Elvis Aaron Presley. Updated every Thursday!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,866
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3040
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "You seem. . . familiar." My voice trailed off as one of the shadowed figures began to laugh. It was almost painful as his voice ramped up in intensity and tone, quickly becoming maniacal.

    "Oh, doll. You're precious."
    ------------

    In which our dear reader gets a little too wrapped up in the plans of demons, and they decide she's just too useful to let go of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,074
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    4417
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Beck Remediis, Lead Medic of the Invincible II, and Elliot Fures, criminal and prisoner, will have to work together to appease Darkiplier if they want to head home safely.

    All they have to do is track down a certain Actor....

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,889
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    311
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The Seer reached to get a hold on the demon swarming this house, but it seems like the opposite has happened. And it was painful.
    Lightning flashed.
    Celine screamed.

    OR:

    What happened in Celine's seance room? What caused her and Damien's deaths?

    Let's find out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    572
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    16
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Mark's best friends, Bri and Séan come to stay at his house for a few weeks. Not even a day into their visit and both Dark and Anti start to terrorise Bri. What could they possibly want with her and will it end badly for all three of them?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,764
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    262
  6. Tags
    Summary

    You go to a party, have a few drinks and meet a guy. The usual. But this man was not the usual guy he wore vibrant yellows and pinks, his bushy moustache and his odd accent. You start talking and get on really well, exchanging numbers and him paying for the drinks.

    A few weeks later you and Wilford get closer and closer, you charming him and him swooning you. However the closer you get to him you discover something that could change how you feel about him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,896
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    21
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Tori had another, hissy fit and sort of lost control of her powers. Again.

    Well now the sides and a few of Mark's egos are sucked in a portal that takes them to the wonderful world of Grisha.

    Now what-?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,556
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    49
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Darkiplier and Wilford meet at a Markiplier TV meeting after not being in contact for years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,563
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    327
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A Telling of Iswm In Darks point of view

    (Please forgive me if I get some things wrong, I'm writing this merely for fun)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,147
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    38
  10. Tags
    Summary

    He doesn't know how he got here. He doesn't know how to stop the future from occuring. But Damien will be damned if he doesn't try.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,621
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2340
  11. Tags
    Summary

    With Halloween on the way, Y/N wants a very special costume

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,996
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1364
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Actor won't get away with everything he's done...I can be very patient when I want to. However, it'll take all of my self control to not deck him in his smug face as I wait for the right time to strike. This isn't revenge...this is him receiving his just deserts for wronging a lot of people he shouldn't have.
    -
    Y/N is the newly elected District Attorney, settling into her office. One day she receives an invite from Mark, an old high school friend of hers, to a party he’s hosting in his manor. Not seeing the harm in catching up with an old friend, she agrees to attend. She had no way of knowing of the mess she’d end up in or how it would ruin not just her life but the very lives around her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,983
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    3114
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Marvin is working on a new spell, instead of achieving the ability to control electricity, he conjures a glitched demon who looks very…familiar?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,202
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    278
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Wilford collapses. Dark and Dr. Iplier are nearby.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,758
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    65
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Mostly oneshots of our favourite egos (I probably forgot a few but requests of others are welcome!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    35
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After a long time of not seeing each other Dr. Iplier's brother decides to pay him a visit. Dark and the other egos attempt to make this visit as peaceful and uneventful as possible. However, in a manor filled with magical creatures and murders alike, this may prove to be quite the task. What happens when his brother brings along a surprise plus one? What if that plus one happens to be a child?

    This is my first A03 post, be kind, I'm trying my best. More tags will be added as the story progresses. Any Major Trigger Warnings will be listed in the top notes of each chapter as well as added to the tags as they occur.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,856
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    76
  17. Tags
    Summary

    I still don't know how to write summaries.

    Let's just say they all wanted to prank darkiplier, and to no one surprise, it doesn't go well

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Cherry and Lime were just exploring the old abandoned news building when the stumbled upon a suspicious automaton in the attic.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    4
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dark paced the bleach-stained carpeted floor of the tiny motel room, carding his fingers back through his thick black hair, fixing it, and then running them through again seconds later. Even this became a nuisance after a while, so he opted to force his hands clasped behind his back instead to resist the urge to stress-fidget.

    He felt and looked out of place in the warm, earth toned room. Dark didn’t want to wait in the narrow hallway and possibly draw attention to himself to some passerby. A man in a black suit looking like a walking cadaver nowhere close to Halloween lurking outside a locked motel room door was bound to draw suspicion. So he did the next best thing: break in and wait for the occupant to return.

    (Basically, Dark had put off confronting William-now-Wilford for nearly a century after the events of WKM. He finally grows a pair and reunites with Wil, finding his old friend both familiar and broken. Dark tries his best to keep the man's sanity intact.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,472
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    30
  20. Tags
    Summary

    First dates are always a great way to get dinner for free in more ways than one. With IRIS constantly observing everything, it's hard just to find one moment of privacy even for a simple family of three. But when an old friend tries to join them for some late dinner, they truly uncover what IRIS is really about. They're always there, after all...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,195
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    29

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