1 - 20 of 293 Works in Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
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Izzy thought things would improve once Stede was gone. They didn't.
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It doesn't sink in until he's back on The Revenge, until he's staring aimlessly out at the dark seas with his hands on the wheel and Ivan asks him where Frenchie has gotten to, that they’d wanted to use him as a practice dummy for the new throwing axes they’d taken from a pirate ship that Izzy has already forgotten the name of.
“Threw him overboard,” Izzy grumbles. “We have our flag. Blackbeard has no use for him now.”
Ivan doesn’t question him.
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What if Stede's only a brief obsession to Ed? What if it's not him that falls in love, but Izzy?
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A fic that follows the major plot beats of canon, but with a little twist.
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Better To Serve In Hell, Than To Reign In Heaven by WaitingToBeBroken
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Jul 2022
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"You will show respect to the Captain, dog," Izzy growled.
He didn't mean Edward.
Izzy's love language is acts of service. Here are five times he took care of Stede.
And one time Stede (and Edward) took care of Izzy.
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The result of their monthly visits to Jim's Nana was a generous stock of fruit, more than enough to share even if Stede hadn’t been inclined towards good manners. That was natural for the Gentleman Pirate, yes? So it was nothing at all to offer Izzy the last of his orange, wrapped in an embroidered silk handkerchief to keep his fingers clean.
The inconsequential nature of the gesture made it all the more shocking when Izzy flinched, staring at the orange as if Stede had just offered him salvation, not a bit of fruit.
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Written for the High Seas event! Each chapter will include one of the prompts. Updated daily until the event is over.
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Israel Hands knew Stede Bonnet would break Edward's heart.
(Or how Izzy becomes Stede’s first mate instead of Ed's)
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“Doesn’t hurt so bad,” Bonnet says, words largely (blessedly) muffled by the cloth stuffed into his mouth. He looks dazed, eyes failing to fixate on any particular point, and he keeps wandering around the cabin, fingers grazing this and that only for him to spin around and open his maw to make some other useless observation like he isn’t actively losing blood from the now gaping hole in his mouth.
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‘Look,’ Ed points. ‘It’s you.’
There’s a cat Izzy hadn’t noticed before, smaller than the rest, a tiny clump of jet black fur with wide blue eyes. It walks with a pronounced limp — at the end of one of its front legs is a stump where the paw should be.
Or, Izzy gets a kitten, and things start to go wrong.
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Word around town is, Blackbeard's First Mate is up for grabs. This is news to Blackbeard, and also his First Mate. Ed reacts as well as one can expect (read: badly), no one makes good decisions, and Stede tries to piece together the labyrinth that is the relationship between Edward Teach and Israel Hands."You mean to say," says Izzy, slowly, "You fucking hunted us down on a dinghy in the middle of nowhere just so you could ask me to be your First Mate? Why?"
"Well, Sam tried, so I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring."
"Wh--there is no fucking ring, you cunt" says Izzy, incensed, "I have a Captain, Edward's been my Captain for so goddamn long and you know that--"
Meanwhile, Izzy finds the push he needs to get moving.
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- Part 2 of inertia
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Izzy stays for dinner. Some unspoken assumptions are uncovered. Some are not.
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- Part 3 of Refitting at Sea
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Israel Hands was efficient, brutal and loyal, which got him a spot at Blackbeard’s side. But Blackbeard is dead now, only Edward Teach remains, a man who has no use for a brutal masochistic first mate. But chance it has it that maybe Stede Bonnet who killed Blackbeard could give purpose to the broken Izzy Hands.
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“I have a proposition, if you’d care to hear it?”
At this point, you’re so on edge that you almost jump in your seat, but you manage to temper it into something like a full body twitch instead. “Yeah? What is it?”
“A bath.”
Said so simply, you just don’t get what Bonnet is getting at, so you frown at him. “You want to take a bath? Now?” It’s late, and dark, and what the hell is he on about? And why would he tell you?
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- Part 1 of Steady there, Mister Hands
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What it says on the title - fic snippets and prompt fills.
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your violence feels like kisses to me / your silence makes it hard to breathe by deadratz
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Jul 2022
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Izzy and Edward have been together on and off for most of their lives. Both of them always have one foot on each side of the line between caring for each other and hurting each other.
Stede comes back and simultaneously fixes and ruins everything.
Ed realizes he loves both Stede and Izzy and doesn't want to have to choose. He’s convinced he can make it work between the three of them… Even if his co-captain and first mate want to kill each other (until they don't).
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A short fic centered around Izzy basically just thinking about how attractive he finds Stede Bonnet, much to his chagrin.
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Izzy still doesn't precisely know how to feel about work this morning, but it's somewhere between scorn and dread.
He's already encountered the new General Manager's influence; Edward's unilateral decision last week to change his signature block to read co-General Manager, for fuck's sake, which Izzy had had to push back on. Izzy's also had actual contact with him; brief, over Teams. His impression of the man wasn't precisely flattering.
Day one of the High Income Tax Policy and Enforcement Branch, and Izzy doesn't really have any idea what to expect.
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Israel Hands has been the Executive Officer to Edward Teach, General Manager of High Income Tax Enforcement, for a long time. He knows this job, he knows Edward, and he knows how to keep his life separate from work - for the most part.
And then the branch is restructured to include Stede Bonnet, General Manager of Tax Policy, and his team of fucking clowns. Suddenly Izzy has two bosses, irritating coworkers, and a rapidly disintegrating line between the personal and the professional.
Not to mention Edward's behaving more erratically than usual.
(It's a romcom).
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Stede Bonnet's Guide to Being in a Throuple by georges1982_96
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Jul 2022
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Stede fell in love with Ed the day they met, the moment the man walked into Stede’s newly opened bakery and breathed reverently, “Holy shit, this is fucking insane.”
The only hitch? Stede is pretty sure Ed is married and off-limits.
Until a few weeks later, Ed kisses him.
Otherwise known as the fic where Stede assumes Ed and Izzy are married so he's now part of a throuple, and ends up saving a marriage that didn't actually exist in the first place.
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Stede starts having a number of odd symptoms. His husbands eventually force him to see a doctor, though they could not have predicted the outcome.
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Post episode 10, Stede brings his rescued crew to Spanish Jackie's, where he finds an unlikely ally in Izzy Hands.
Together, they agree to find Ed, and end up growing closer than either imagined.
This will be Stede/Izzy-centric, leading up to Stede/Izzy/Ed.
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Blasphemy to the Highest Extent by Pumpkinseed_Sunfish
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Jul 2022
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Stede is a priest at a local church/seminary. When Edward visits the church, Stede has to deal with his own complicated feelings towards the man. It doesn't help that he is possessed by a demon named Izzy, who is interested in corrupting Stede as much as possible. As Ed and Stede's relationship grows stronger, Izzy decides he wants to be a part of it.