1 - 20 of 771 Works in Spades Slick

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Seagulls are agents of pure unhinged chaos and the world needs more of that, so I feed them,” Dirk says, like a complete fucking weirdo.

    “Me and Jeff Goldblum are the only agents of pure unhinged chaos the world needs,” you say, like a totally normal person.

    “What the fuck is wrong with the two of you,” Spades goddamn Slick says, like he’s going to personally bludgeon you both with something.

    You think this is pretty much the tone for the entire evening, to be honest.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,818
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    41
  2. Tags
    Summary

    What do you remember about your past, Spades Slick?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,652
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    14
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dave's not liking being relocated across the county to a new school under a new name that isn't his, hiding from his past.

    Meeting Karkat helps, even if it might get him killed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    143,891
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    851
    Kudos:
    811
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    12435
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes he even hangs out with you although come to think of it maybe that's just because you show up on his couch when you're bored or in the area sometimes and when you do that late at night he does have a very sharp looking sword, but he always puts it back away when he sees that it's you and doesn't even sound angry or anything when he asks how you got in here and you just point at the door, so that's definitely okay.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,655
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    24
  5. Tags
    Summary

    An unmarked car and a gun and a gag and it wouldn't be a problem, you tell the boss, and there's a thunk and the table shudders as he puts a knife right in it an inch away from your hand. 

    Shut the fuck up already, he says, ain't no need to make a problem and seriously what the fuck is wrong with you that you wanna go make one.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    29
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Eridan Ampora has gone through it. Being selectively mute after a horrifying accident that he believes to be his fault, leaving his zoned school for three years, only communicating through Karkat has left him less social than he would like to be. When he finally comes back he realizes everything is absolutely wayward and not what he had in mind. His crush on the guy who hates his guts couldn't be any more complicated.

    Sollux Captor despises Eridan Ampora, the quiet not really new kid to the school. Just looking at the guy makes him want to punch his teeth in. However, he can't as their mutual friend Karkat won't let Sollux physically near the mute. Personally he finds the mute boy unnerving, and is irritated at his very presence. Until the two numbnuts finally communicate and realize that not everyone is perfect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,769
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    173
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You'd think John would be better prepared for the end of the world. What with his superior knowledge on movies. But he finds himself thrown head first into a shitty B film style zombie apocalypse. will him and his new friends survive to live in the new undead normal? or will they be picked off one by one. unable to find a cure in all the carnage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,336
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    115
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Vriska Serket is beginning her 5th year at Hogwarts. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,493
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    105
  9. Tags
    Summary

    You can’t tell if he’s bothered. Point of this whole outing is that you’re gonna get better at telling, you figure, but you’re not too optimistic about it. Not that Slick’d gone and said that, because he’s a slippery fucker who just shoved Strider at you and said you two fuckers get out of my house and don’t come back until late if you don’t want a knife in each of your guts. You don’t think he’d stab both of you over that, but you didn’t get to say that ‘cause the door just got slammed in your face and you’re not the kinda jackass who’ll talk to wood. Strider is, but you got the feeling he hadn’t seen this one coming, so he kept quiet and only stared at it for a long moment before he turned around and started walking.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,278
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    47
  10. Tags
    Summary

    You can pick out a suit and shit for me to wear, Strider says, and I’ll wear it. You’re not sure this is part of any deal. You tell him he’d basically already agreed. Yeah, he says, but I’m only gonna do it if you pick one out for this asshole. He points at the boss, like there's a fourth asshole in the room it could be.

    Oh, you say. You should be more eloquent.

    No hats, he says. He’s not part of the Crew, he says. Wouldn’t be right to wear the hat.

    Yeah, you agree, and you don’t say that you think he would be if he wanted to wear the hat, because you know it ain’t about the hat at all. Instead, you say you’ll introduce ‘em both to your tailor. You tell the boss he’s gotta behave. Slick says fuck you he always behaves, and you think you and Strider nearly roll your eyes at the exact same moment, because he says fuck both of you, he does behave, but the tailor better not put any needles in anywhere else there’ll be a knife in somewhere in return.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A rogue element recently introduced to Midnight City causes Diamond Droog's close associates to lose their cool - get reckless. It's not a useful response to a new threat.

    So Droog gets around to doing something he's had in mind for a while now: some good, new-fashioned pale wooing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,649
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    58
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A Legitimate Businessman returns in this thrilling sequel! Five years later, Jack "Spades Slick" Vantas has it all. An escape from the world of crime and conspiracy. A truly legitimate business. A future for his adopted son Karkat at a nice college. But when Karkat goes missing, Jack realizes he has only one chance to get his son back: summon (and incidentally hire) the problem sleuth known as Patrick Sloan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,170
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    77
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jane Crocker, still a dutiful follower to her grandmother's wishes, brings the fearsome claws of the Midnight Crew to her.

    Slick and Droog are angry, The Felt are not so panicked, Jane is, still having a great time. She has these two mobsters wrapped around her little fingers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,699
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In the aftermath of Beacon's fall, Roman and Neo decide to skip town, and also planet and universe, and wind up in one weird-ass city. At least the company's good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,969
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    30
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Some mysterious asshole keeps breaking into the Crew's hideout and doing weird shit and Slick is going to get to the bottom of this with his usual use of copious amounts of swearing and stabbing.
    Who is this douchebag?

    (OC might be Mary Sue, but it is my city now and cringe culture is dead)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    9
  16. Tags
    Summary

    An unexpected encounter, a Time Demon, a strange Gang, and a Hopeless romantic. Will xe conquer xyr love?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    109
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "Hope to me is about believing in stuff. If you believe in stuff, then everything feels like it's going to be okay."
    - Jake English

     

    After stepping through that pure white door...John did not expect to see a battlefield littered with his dead friends. After four years fighting against Lord English, he was the only one left standing against the cherub.

    But...perhaps...fate is on his side. John, with the help of his half-dead friends, travels back in time to fix the dreadful future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    763,473
    Chapters:
    66/?
    Comments:
    805
    Kudos:
    1154
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    29338
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Spades Slick has disappeared! Can Hearts Boxcars and Pickle Inspector find him before time runs out? Can they come together to save Slick and the lives of Team Sleuth? Can something more grow between them, or must they set aside love to go on with life in Midnight City?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,316
    Chapters:
    8/10
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    404
  19. Tags
    Summary

    This is an accessible version of the fan comic TLC stuck: Double Death of the Author on MS Paint Fan Adventures, which provides an alternate ending following the Game Over versions of the characters. Panels have been described, and text has been altered to make it more screen reader friendly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    366,549
    Chapters:
    145/145
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2099
  20. Tags
    Summary

    There was a time, not so long ago, when the Personal Servitor took a wrong turn.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,768
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    596

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