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  1. Tags
    Summary

    When David gets stressed out while taking an summer course in accounting to better understand their business, it's up to Patrick to think of a way to ease his mind. A glance at the calendar sparks a very unseasonal idea.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,230
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1192
  2. Tags
    Summary

    David and Patrick have a nice night out on the town. Patrick is a little tipsy, but still full of surprises.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,334
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1015
  3. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of tumblr prompt fills ranging from cloyingly sweet to too filthy to read in public because that's just what ends up happening most of the time when I write.

    Ratings and content warnings marked in the beginning of each chapter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,895
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    4712
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Both fresh off of break-ups with their respective boyfriends, David and Patrick fly solo on what were supposed to be couples vacations to the Maldives. When a paddle boarding incident and an aggressive telescope lead to a meet-cute/meet-ugly, David and Patrick decide to spend some of their vacation time together. The thing is, Patrick is a professional baseball player and David is an interior designer to the stars with his own HGTV show, but neither know who the other is. Both are thrilled to finally have met a regular guy, so they each hide their celebrity.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,765
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    697
    Kudos:
    938
    Bookmarks:
    258
    Hits:
    22083
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick and David take a trip to Seattle to celebrate their five-year wedding anniversary. This is some fluff, some sweetness, and some smut.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,238
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    214
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1902
  6. Tags
    Summary

    This is what David's life has been reduced to: trying to revive the fortunes of the Schittsville Bee, a small-city newspaper that is all that is left of the once-mighty Rose News Group.

    When he stumbles on a big story, it only makes sense to swallow his pride and contact his ex-lover, big-time reporter Patrick Brewer, to get some advice.

    The last thing he expects is for said ex-lover to turn up on his doorstep.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,450
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    560
    Kudos:
    539
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    7672
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The night Patrick gets keys to his apartment, he and David don't want to wait for furniture.


    Writing referenced is a quote from Henry Rollins.
     
    "You are beautiful like demolition. Just the thought of you draws my knuckles white...."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,230
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    231
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2108
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Distressed over the lack of spring flowers in their garden despite his best efforts, David retreats in on himself and it's up to Patrick to cheer him up. Fortunately, Patrick has a few tricks up his sleeve.

    (AKA, it's July's birthday and she deserves flowers and Top Patrick)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    234
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2495
  9. Tags
    Summary

    David wakes up alone, wondering where his husband has disappeared to on a shared weekend off. Patrick returns, bearing many treats for David before he can even get out of bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,810
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1944
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick finally gets to have alone time with David after the Sunrise Bay premier. He has feelings about David's boots.

    Mind the tags 😉

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,119
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1844
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Alexis sends David a copy of So You Wanna Talk About Boys with a sticky tab placed on a page that displays an intricate web of questions designed to quiz the reader on the state of their sex life. Except, it arrives at the house before David is back from his business trip with Stevie.

    If she didn’t want the quiz to land in the wrong husband’s hands, she really should have tried harder.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    225
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2454
  12. Tags
    Summary

    David contemplates his Freudian slip and the significance of labels following Girls' Night.
    _______________________

    “I’m sorry—what did you just say?”

    He spins back around and Patrick smiles up at him from the chair as the realization hits. David’s heart is racing and he can feel his face getting hot.

    Boyfriend. He said boyfriend. 

    Fuck.  

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,039
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    388
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    5081
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick has a lot on his mind going into his first night really alone with David at Stevie's. David's past isn't the only one muddying the waters. Told from Patrick's POV and takes place mostly to the end of and after Pregnancy Test.
    ___________________________

    Patrick Brewer is nervous.

    In most facets, he likes to think he is a self-assured, confident man. Reliable. Level-headed. Sure-footed. If you ask anyone from his old life, his life as Clint and Marcy’s Son, Patrick, and his life as Rachel’s Fiancé, Patrick, you’d get the same answer— Patrick? He’s steady, dependable. Even. You can count on him.

    But right now is different.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,290
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    398
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    5534
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The problem is how vehemently David hates pet names.

    It would be one thing if he was just ambivalent, or if his ire was confined to one or two names—the most egregious, maybe, like baby or sweetheart, or the truly tacky like lover or cutie. But he’s never really done things by halves.

    Or, David works through some big feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    3075
  15. Tags
    Summary

    He can’t remember the last time he was able to take his time getting himself off, slow and luxurious; ever since he came to Schitt’s Creek masturbation has been quick and quiet in the shower, or occasionally careful and silent in bed.

    And when is he likely to have another chance like this?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,821
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    3412
  16. Tags
    Summary

    David’s never pretended that Patrick’s competence and assertiveness don’t do it for him in a big way.

    Well, he’s never pretended to himself at least. And, really, how the fuck could he be expected to concentrate on anything when there’s a brand-new fucking machine where his coffee table usually sits?

    **********

    David has a fantasy. Patrick makes it happen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,475
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    261
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    4247
  17. Tags
    Summary

    He’d forgotten all of that, and he doesn’t remember again until the night Patrick pulls length after length of braided silk out of a box, says "if you’re still into this, I’ve been practising," and proceeds to casually tie eight different types of knot along one of the lengths in his hand while David watches with his mouth hanging open.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,538
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2791
  18. Tags
    Summary

    David's anxious all week about the U.S. presidential election, so when the results are announced, Patrick helps him relax.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,811
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1568
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Shameless filth. More specifically: what happens when two thirsty bottoms don't communicate ahead of time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,864
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    326
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    3117
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Five times Patrick made David forget his own name, and one time he forgot Patrick’s.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,311
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    177
    Kudos:
    522
    Bookmarks:
    100
    Hits:
    9799

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