1 - 20 of 49 Works in Sebastien Raine is an Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick and his friends go to a porn star convention where they stumble upon "The Duke"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,514
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1670
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t go, go on your own or find another date, whatever you want,” Stevie shrugs and reaches over to steal some of his muffin.
    He swats at her hand. “Find another date? The wedding is a two-hour drive away! In Montauk! I’m not driving for two hours with some random, even if I can book separate rooms for the weekend!”
    “Oh god, it’s for the entire weekend and there’s a road trip involved? Now I’m definitely not going with you.” She swipes another piece of muffin.
    “Ugh,” he sighs as he sips his coffee. “Where the fuck am I going to find an acceptable date?”
    “Sorry to interrupt,” Patrick says, suddenly appearing at their table looking a little nervous.


    When David gets a last minute wedding invitation and Stevie refuses to go with him, he needs to find another date - he needs to show his so-called 'friends' (and Sebastien Raine) that he's thriving now. Enter: David's new favourite barista...

    aka the coffee shop / fake dating / road trip / snowed in / there was only one bed fic no one asked for

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,185
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    214
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1225
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick needs to break up the monotony of his life- which is fine! But isn't it supposed to be better than fine? He heads to Toronto to shake things up and do his MBA, and gets a job in a fine dining restaurant to pay the bills and have some fun. What he doesn't expect is to meet a terrifyingly particular chef, who for some reason turns him into a hot mess. Whatever could be the reason for THAT!?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,211
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    5784
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The Moulin Rouge was the height of underworld entertainment for the rich and powerful of Paris, a place to escape the everyday and be plunged into a world of lust and thirst. Men wore their finest black tailcoat tuxedos; women like Stevie were adorned in suits or dresses with plunging necklines.

     

    The dance hall swirled with scantily clad entertainers bedecked in jewelry, boas and far more makeup than necessary. It was a riot of colors and fabrics. Entering the hall, we were hit with a wall of music that took my breath away. Stevie gave me a knowing smirk and offered me her arm in escort. The look she gave me said, “You’ll get used to it, move along.” She breezed through the crowd until the five of us were seated in a private box, perfect for watching the show. Champagne and absinthe flowed like fountains, inviting us to give in to our most worldly desires.

     

    “Stevie, are you sure this will work?”

     

    She gazed casually out at the dance floor before turning to me, “No.”

     

    -or-

    The extremely self-indulgent Moulin Rouge AU that *some* of you asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,445
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1679
  5. Tags
    Summary

    David moves to Schitts Creek in grade 3 and meets Patrick, Stevie, and Ted. They become fast friends. This story follows David and Patrick through their friendship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,195
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1944
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A drabble collection of David and Patrick's story, from David's days in New York City to happily married.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,861
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    1159
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    6309
  7. Tags
    Summary

    He had thought about abandoning the wedding altogether. Even with it being months away, and the idea that he might find someone else to bring, he understandably wasn’t interested in watching one more of his fucking friends get their happy ending. Sure, he had already sent his RSVP but he certainly wouldn’t be the first to no show. People might gossip and speculate why he wasn’t there but people gossiped about him regardless. 

    Following a breakup, David attends a friend's wedding for the food, open bar and maybe someone to keep him company for the night if he's lucky. A cute best man that can't wink, a buzzed rooftop phone call and a misunderstanding or two later, David may have found something much better.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    215
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1358
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "I leaned in, David. You should try it for once."

    David blows out a breath as the door clicks shut behind his mother. The thing is, she doesn't know just how much David has "leaned in" over the course of his life. He's leaned into the wrong attention — the wrong affection — more times than he can count. He's folded at any hint of flattery, tripped over himself for validation only to fall on his face. David's "leaned in" plenty, thank you. He's "leaned in" his entire life.

    OR: An introspection fic in which David reflects on his relationships and personal growth while deciding what the fuck to do about Sebastien goddamn Raine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,480
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    553
  9. Tags
    Summary

    David Rose learns that his father actually bought Schitt’s Creek. So, after an ugly fight with Sebastien, he heads to where (hopefully) nobody knows who he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,583
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    202
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick travels to NYC with his best friend to celebrate their friends’ engagement. He meets a stranger at the bar, and learns something new about himself in the process. Can he be brave? Spoiler alert: Yes, yes he can.

    Listen kids, trying new things is hard. Rachel helps. Throwing a big ol' sympathy bone(r) to Rachel here.

    (Title from Jay-Z's Empire State Of Mind)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1023
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "Good morning."

    David groaned, "is it?"

    Patrick squinted against the sun, laughter gravelly with sleep. He grinned when he caught David's eye.

    "Yeah, so far."
    .
    .
    .
    David was in the habit of falling for strangers pretending to love him.
    Too bad their arrangement was nothing but a mutually beneficial PR stunt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,475
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    210
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    4098
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Sebastien Raine visits Schitt's Creek on the same day as Open Mic Night at the Apothecary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    194
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1431
  13. Tags
    Summary


    lens flare: occurs when light is scattered or flared due to a bright source, sometimes unwanted, sometimes a beautiful artistic effect.
    What David wants more than anything is to rid his life, both personal and professional, of Sebastien Raine. After years of being degraded and disappointed, he's done. Patrick Brewer, a man with an eye for capturing real, beautiful things, might just be the unexpected solution David is looking for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,525
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    241
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    2412
  14. Tags
    Summary

    David Rose has it all: Money, status, a premier apartment with a killer view and the affection of the hottest photographer in the city. But a little voice keeps telling him there’s something missing. Will a certain Button help him figure it out?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,652
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    207
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3681
  15. Tags
    Summary

    He decides it’s the freckle.

    The one just above David’s ass, to the right of his spine.

    It’s a perfect circle and it teases the edge of the right dimple at David’s lower back; they’ve just recently become intimately acquainted. Patrick loves to thumb over that perfect, sacred spot repeatedly—a silent promise on the occasions so far that he’s had the opportunity to bury himself deep in David’s impossible heat, his perfect body spread out before him. He traces over it again and again with the rhythm of his hips, and presses bruisingly when he comes.

    That’s the spot he will miss the most.


    Patrick before and after The Olive Branch. Companion piece to Everything I Once Had: from walking away to coming back together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,417
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    325
    Kudos:
    453
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    6832
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick follows David to his room closely and wordlessly, a very guilty shadow, and sits on the end of Alexis’s bed and tells him about Rachel and watches him with those sincere brown eyes that could make David do almost anything. David stands with his back to the bathroom door, arms crossed protectively around his body and feet planted firmly, but he still has this sensation in his stomach like he’s falling, the telltale hypnic jerk he sometimes gets lying in bed at night, but constant—an unrelenting, nauseating swoop deep in his diaphragm.

    There are two Patricks now—the one whose ass David has eaten and the one who grew up holding Rachel’s hand.


    After the barbecue, David takes the week to try to understand the people he and Patrick have become thanks to their relationships—old and new.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,074
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    382
    Kudos:
    401
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    7040
  17. Tags
    Summary

    David’s living in New York, and trying to make something of himself without having to rely on his parents. He’s working as an assistant at an art gallery. For the first time in his life, he's willing to work hard to succeed.

    Patrick Brewer is a well known singer/songwriter – locally at least. He's thriving professionally, but struggling in his personal life. He’s looking high and low for an awakening.

    Will these boys find what they're looking for?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,057
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    348
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    9831
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick's instinct is to leave, but he’s just noticed something about this guy. “I know you …” he says slowly, uncertainly.
    It’s hardly flattering, but the other guy chuckles. It’s a nice sound, Patrick thinks, cautiously.

    “Yeah,” says the guy, his grin sliding into a smirk. “I think you, uh, tried to flirt with me once.”

    And now Patrick recognises him. A million years ago, at a party he hadn’t thought twice about, before everything really took off, this guy stood in a kitchen, not unlike this one, wearing a shirt blazoned with a mouth and bloody fangs, teasing Patrick.

    OR
    Patrick Brewer has a LOT of baggage. He's absolutely not ready for a relationship.

    OR
    In which the author tries not to spoil anything, and in doing so fails completely at the summary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    96,986
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    1401
    Kudos:
    909
    Bookmarks:
    258
    Hits:
    22634
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Fallen socialite David Rose only needed 24 hours, and a $1.2 million wedding, to bring one man’s love life and career to a grinding halt.
     

    With that opener, reporter Patrick Brewer creates the legend of the Runaway Rose. A man who has left three separate partners at the altar. But having only one source (namely fiancé #2 Sebastien Raine) gets him in trouble with his editor and he decides to seek out and interview the real David Rose. If only the man was willing to talk about his past.

    David’s life only has room for his business’s grand opening (date TBD) and wedding planning with his fiancé Jake. Why would he ever want to provide more tabloid fodder for some “journalist?”

    Or: The Runaway Bride AU that wouldn’t leave me alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,066
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1064
  20. Tags
    Summary

    David barely gets to say hello before Sebastien sits back at the table, settling into his usual nonchalance. It’s the kind of attitude that used to have David dropping to his knees in hopes of holding his attention.

    ——————-

    David leans in to the moment with Sebastien and takes a little something back for himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,625
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1408

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