1 - 20 of 92 Works in Rose Lalonde & Kanaya Maryam

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Shh, Karkat, patience is a virtue.” Dave pulls one hand from behind his back to shush you, pressing a finger to your lips. His hand feels soft, but you recoil away before you can distract yourself with that thought. You give an over-dramatic show of spitting in disgust. “Gross, you don’t know where that things been!”

    “Okay, but seriously - I want you to come to my place on Saturday.”

    You blink, like a fucking idiot, in surprise. Something in your stomach feels really weird about that. Why did your stomach do a flip? That was gross, it’s not supposed to do that.

    “What was the second thing?” You ask.

    “Oh, Karkat, you’re going to love this.” You seriously doubt you’re going to love it. Dave plants both hands behind his back to whatever he’s hiding, and with a flourish, he brandishes another shitty dinosaur head snapper. This one in an obnoxious purple color. Dave places said shitty Dino head on the box you’re holding.

    It’s almost endearing how fucking stupid it is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,697
    Chapters:
    7/14
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    617
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is KANAYA MARYAM. You’ve been on this meteor for less than three human weeks, and thus far you’ve been occupying yourself with
    1. Watching Rose trying to alchemise things and then getting superbly frustrated when she fails
    2. Listening to her apologies and explanations over lashing out when frustrated
    3. Watching her try to list the simplest concepts she knows of
    4. Clown hunting
    5. Avoiding Vriska

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,822
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1127
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Alcohol y una cita, ingredientes más que suficientes para el desastre.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    10,030
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    12
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Nepeta Leijon is 22 and newly independent. Except... There's one problem. Her abusive boyfriend, Gamzee Makara. Her best friend Feferi Peixes doesn't take too kindly to the guy, though she knows nothing of Nepeta's turmoil.

    Update: INDEFINITE HIATUS

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,631
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2242
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Vriska是被孤儿院收养的孩子们中的一位,“邦尼先生”和他的朋友有时会来看望他们。

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    16,602
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Hits:
    4
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The night after her rescue, the Dolorosa investigates her new options.

    (loosely connected to putting pain in a stranger)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    733
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    79
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The Grand Highblood finds someone he can follow.

    (loosely connected to shows of vulnerability)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    79
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh come on, you wouldn’t let me die right?”

    “Nope. That pet name sealed the deal. Death to all Dave’s.”

    “Even if she cursed me to come alive with true love's kiss?”

    “Even then.”

    You can feel the smile tugging at your lips as you try and turn your back to him. You try to keep dusting your already spotless coffee table as he forges on.

    “But like, not even if we were set to marry the next day and she stopped the wedding by killing me because she doesn’t approve of our now theoretical marriage?”

    “Still no.”

    Or the one where Dave and Karkat are in love and haven't told anyone yet and they let the news slip in the dumbest way possible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,177
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    704
  9. Tags
    Summary

    He could hear the smarmy smirk in his head. The gnashing, short-toothed grin. He could feel her phalanges wiggling around underneath his skin, just itching to burst through the pores. "Terezi. Whatever weird alien games you're playing with this Hannibal Lecter motherfucker, I want nothing to do with them."

    "Don't you care about saving human lives, human coolkid?"

    Dave flopped onto his bed, grabbing his laptop against a struggling arm. "Not particularly. I care about fresh jams, sick rhymes, and hot beats. You're the police dog around here." He replied, trying to open his laptop and failing. "And I don't know if you noticed but I never filled out my adoption papers. I haven't went through handler training and frankly I don't think you've ever been to pooch school."

    "Are you saying you'd like to domesticate me, coolkid? How salacious. We're afraid if you're looking to betroth us you'll require permission from our spawnsire, who is still on our homeworld. And we are afraid we cannot leave this place until Vriska and Karkat are apprehended."

    -----

    Homestuck X Venom. Does not necessarily adhere to the canon of each.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,423
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    107
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Kanaya meets a tiny rose, then has to hide her from vriska. vore ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,129
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    220
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dave had always assumed that at the very least, he'd have the sanctuary of his own mind. Turned out, even the gates to that were shaky at best.
    [Your friendly neighborhood post-retcon Meteorstuck, DaveKat-centric chapterfic, with a bit of a twist. Pan-Quadrant romance and dream bubble adventures featuring some standard AU settings.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,388
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    358
    Kudos:
    776
    Bookmarks:
    143
    Hits:
    10582
  12. Tags
    Summary

    You, Kanaya Maryam are fourteen. You love Twilight for sentimental reasons, read/write fanfiction, and pine ceaselessly after any girl who gives you the time of day. That being said, you are out of your FUCKING league here.

    A story in which a girl falls in love twice, and deliberates the merits of online relationships versus physical ones. Contains many Ao3 references, teenage scandals, drug deals, confusingly worded sentences, and overly proper manners of speech.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,302
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    97
  13. Tags
    Summary

    DISCONTINUED

    The year is 2025. Scientists and engineers have come to create none other than artificial intelligence in the form of androids. Aside from obvious ways of motion and processing buffers, androids are made to look -and feel- like real people. But of course, something like this needs a purpose. So, Carebots were invented. The purpose for the androids would be to help patients in hospitals or people going through therapy. They were stored with information on many different illnesses, mental and physical. A batch of beta testers in each state were to test a model of the Carebots. Each beta tester had to sign a contract stating they were not actually mentally ill and could in fact handle the responsibility of testing the Carebots using a list of symptoms they were to fake. In this AU, the Homestuck kids serve as beta testers and the trolls are Carebots. What the company, and Dave, doesn't know is that Dave truly does have PTSD and that Karkat may be a better Carebot than what was intended. (Thanks to @autisticvantas for the idea!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,048
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    985
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Shady Times for Rose Lalonde the most powerful mage on Earth C. She has to deal with the sudden crazy ideas for fetishes by her wife Kanaya who got those from bad human literature and deviantArt. Now Lalonde must deal with an adventurous troll and many binding positions and situations.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,064
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    578
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The origins of Janice AU

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,911
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    85
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Alternatively titled: Karkat Canonically Has Had Several Panic Attacks And I’ve Seen No One Acknowledge This, With A Side Of Davekat

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,253
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    198
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1149
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Your cellmate has one arm, one eye, a short attention span, a shorter temper, and a seemingly endless appetite for sex. Several friends in the real world told you trolls had three moods: bored, angry and horny. It’s easy to dismiss a stereotype until you meet someone who fits it to a tee. And now you’ve been sold to her. She did the blind, shark toothed screw a favor, and got the blondest human girl in trade.

    Two years suddenly seems a lot longer than you thought.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,809
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1381
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The story in which two very unstable teens meet each other, flip quadrants more times than the sun rises and sets, proceed to make everyone afraid of their own safety and sanity and ultimately end up in a stable relationship (mostly). A.K.A: Kanaya's not so successful love life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,287
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    117
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Rose finds a big empty book in a chest. She intends to share her experiences of the game for future players to use as a guide, but it dissolves into gay ramblings, psychoanalysis of everyone she lives with, and oversharing shockingly quickly as she tries to cope with the huge messy list of things that happened on John’s birthday.
    Kanaya is mourning the loss of the Matriorb and her friends, and has no idea where to go from here. She’s got weekly Stitch ’n Bitch meetings, a newfound thirst for blood, and a mouth that won’t stop Saying Words against her better judgement. Hopefully she can make it through this in one piece.
    Dave’s trying to get it together. Karkat’s confused. Vriska’s got the irons. Terezi’s got the fire. Gamzee’s… Gamzee.
    It’s going to be a long three years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,370
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1320
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s a criminal offense that we didn’t talk more before, too. You’re a fucking savage, and I am absolutely loving it.” He says.

     

    “It is a shame,” You agree. “You’re actually quite easy to talk to, and more amusing than either Rose or Karkat seem willing to admit.”

    or

    The budding friendship of Dave Strider and Kanaya Maryam and the subsequent delight/apprehension of Rose Lalonde and Karkat Vantas.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,744
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    765

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