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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn’t anymore.
    Rudyard remembers a time when the dead stayed dead, however his latest client has taken to getting up every time he turns his back. As he rushes around trying to find a missing corpse, a group of tourists keep getting in his way.

    Jonny d'Ville is an immortal space pirate. He says he's the captain. He's only the first mate.
    Jonny is having a terrible time. He woke up dead in the middle of Piffling Vale and now an undertaker has taken to hunting him down. To make matters worse, his crew keeps killing him so they can stay in the village longer.

    However will these two men survive?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,914
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    46
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The sprawling metropolis of Piffling is kept safe under the watchful eye of the Hero League, founded by the enigmatic Ms Doyle. Their number-one hero, the universally-adored Shirley Temple, remains undefeated in his battle against the villains that plague Piffling.

    The supervillain twins, Muso and Maestro, are yet to cause a break in his winning streak.

    (Or: Hey what if the characters from Wooden Overcoats lived in a superhero society and their dynamic was the exact same as the podcast, just with more super-strength sucker punches to the gut)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,420
    Chapters:
    2/25
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    115
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Carolyn Knapp-Shappey runs an airline called MJN Air.

    It always had one aeroplane. It's rather more of an air dot, really.

    Life has never been easy for the motley crew of MJN Air, but things take a turn for the worse when they land on a barely-there island in the middle of the English Channel.

    Can they escape the strange pull of the village, or is their stay in Piffling Vale finally going to bring MJN Air to its knees?

    Let us find out!

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,458
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    45
    Hits:
    25
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Exactly the title. Just some OLD smut stories from my tumblr

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,854
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    69
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of stories in which Eric Chapman doesn't succeed, but it usually turns out alright anyway.
     

    “Right, s- sorry.” Why was he stuttering? He never stuttered. “I wanted to invite you-” He shot a glance at Rudyard. “Both of you, well, three counting Madeleine, she's obviously also invited, to my place. For lunch on Sunday. You can come over. If you want.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,228
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    420
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman and the Funns have made peace and are now, (dare they say it?) friends. Everything seems to be going well until two figures from Eric's mysterious past show up on Piffling with a few bones to pick.

    Or, Chapman's mysterious backstory is that he was on the origional Hepheastus crew.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,934
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    156
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Hidden in the English Channel there is an island called Piffling. On the island, there is a town called Piffling Vale.

    Six months after our settlement earning its township, life in Piffling remains mostly undisturbed and - to a great extent - the same as before. It is as if a large part of the 21st century marked the single mile of Piffling as out of bounds.

    But you can't avoid change forever. And, at long last, it has come to Piffling Vale. Things will never be the same again. And no one knows that better than Rudyard Funn, whose feud with his immensely popular rival, Eric Chapman, was the first thing to stir up changes in our town's tepid life.

    Chapman brought with him variety, excitement and a chance for everyone to enjoy themselves. And while his practice remains the favoured funeral home for many, Rudyard is quietly confident that a busy and thriving town like Piffling can easily support two funeral homes.

    So it's a real pity that we are getting shut down now!

    Yes, you see, Rudyard Funn used to run a funeral home in the town of Piffling Vale.

    He doesn't anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,420
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    124
  8. Tags
    Summary

    You are cordially invited to the Jolly Fun Alumni Dance of St. Clôture! 

     

     

    After receiving the invitation to a dance, Antigone might have mentioned to a classmate she was going with Eric Chapman in a panicked lie. He seemed to be surprisingly open to the idea.

    Set after Dead Man's Chest, not canon compliant

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,787
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    175
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman finds himself in a predicament of life or death proportions that he can only get out of with the help of Funn Funerals.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,137
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    280
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “I love you, you know.”

    Eric Chapman made every effort to remain at once very still on the mortuary table, while at the same time not betraying the fact that he had to put special effort into doing so. His eyes remained fixed to the ceiling.

    “Oh?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,574
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    399
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Eric is trying to run a funeral home in the village on Piffling Vale. For some reason, it's not quite working out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,870
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    76
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After an accident at Chapman's, Funn Funerals find themselves down an undertaker with mere days left of their temporary monopoly. Eric is, somehow, having a worse week than they are.

    Chapman gains an uninvited houseguest; Antigone relives several experiences she'd rather not; Rudyard discovers he doesn't need a body to be a nuisance. A haunting has come to Piffling Vale, and no one wants to be there—least of all the ghost.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,535
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    230
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The Piffling Amateur Dramatics Society's fall production is starting rehearsals, with Georgie Crusoe at the helm. Will Antigone be able to handle the role? And her feelings? And will Miss Scruple play the right notes on the organ?
    All this and more, waiting behind the curtain...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,696
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    181
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When another tragic death strikes the Piffling Traveling Circus, Marlene once again finds herself in Funn Funerals. Although only there for business, her reappearance in Antigone's life sets off everything she had been trying to repress since her overly dramatic confession at the theater.
    Moment by moment she finds herself drawn to the ringmistress and can no longer hide away in the shadows of her mortuary, no matter how dearly she once desired to do so.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,120
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    583
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn and Eric Chapman run two funeral homes in the village of Piffling Vale. They used to both be alive. Rudyard isn't sure if that's true anymore.

    Rudyard becomes consumed with paranoia after a mundane day of petty rivalry goes awry. For everyone else, it's all pretty much business as usual.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,003
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    267
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 1845, and Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,785
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    124
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The nature of undertakers is such that when they inevitably reach rock bottom they will begin to dig. So it's hardly surprising that desperate funeral director Rudyard Funn is relying on increasingly shoddy business practices when trying to beat his relentless rival, Eric Chapman.
    Still, he may have dug himself into a hole too deep even for an undertaker when accepting this commission from Calliope's mother. Namely, to put her daughter off of becoming an undertaker herself (while also burying her uncle). And while the one thing Rudyard excels in is failing, could it be that the one time it actually matters he might just... fail at being a failure?
    Let's find out!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,403
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    265
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Well that was horrible,” Rudyard said. The three employees of Funn Funerals stood inside of the shop as the Carmicheals brawled over Stanley’s grave again.

     

    “Yeah,” Georgie agreed. “That might’ve actually been worse than the first time.”

     

    “Might’ve actually been worse?” Antigone said incredulously. “That was much worse. And now we’re back here again!”

     

    The Funn Funerals staff gets stuck in a time loop that encapsulates the entire first season, which is also the worst month of their lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    243
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Even after thirty-five years and a shared murder investigation with Horatia, Agatha would rather let sleeping dogs lie. Unfortunately, the new Village Archivist is more the type to trip over said sleeping dogs and then boot them off a cliff.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,469
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    422
  20. Tags
    Summary

    So far Rudyard Funn tried everything to rid himself of his rival, ranging from slander to murder. But nothing seems to make a lasting impact on Eric Chapman. However, his new job as a village archivist may have just given his old obsession some much needed new ammunition. As he gears up once more to squish Chapman right into the dirt, only one question still remains.
    What could possibly go wrong?
    Or in which Rudyard becomes the village’s premier (albeit unwitting) travel writer, Eric looks spectacular in spandex and Mayor Desmond struggles to consolidate being native to his place of birth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,060
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    564

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