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    Summary

    “It's still a lot of work, even if you have magic on your side.” Yoongi glances over at a jug filled with what looks like pieces of pineapple. And then, as both cat and witch stare at the jug, the pieces are suddenly no more, instead replaced entirely by liquid. “Heck. Magic is draining. I’m going to need a nap later.”

    “Why do you think I start at 5 am and only open at 11?” Seokjin grumbles, before he sighs, “yeah, okay. I get your point. No tea then. But we gotta think of something to make with avocados.”

    “Why the fuck are we doing avocados?”
     
    “Because I ordered avocados.”

    “Oh. Ok. Let me rephrase that: why the fuck are we doing avocados?”

    ~*~

    (Or: Seokjin is a witch, Yoongi is his familiar. 99% of their life is bickering like this. The other 1%? Well, you'll have to read and see won't you?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,986
    Chapters:
    4/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    2050
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Now, this is a story all about how your life got flipped-turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how you became a dang ass skeleton fucker.

    It’s been almost three years since monsters have integrated into society. After a frightening experience, you start to run into the same skeleton everywhere you go, and your lonely life soon makes a one-eighty turn. In a world where magic is real and monsters are kind, can you find a way to be part of it? Can you let yourself fall in love again? Can you prove to the world that Take On Me by Aha is the greatest song ever written? Because it definitely, definitely is.

    The Reader is female and named--less of a self-insert, more like a story in second-person. I don't generally reply to comments cuz I like an accurate comment count. I'll only reply if the comment is extra mega sick. If you have a specific question, you can ask it on my tumblr @capnhanbers!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    205,122
    Chapters:
    64/?
    Comments:
    1742
    Kudos:
    3147
    Bookmarks:
    429
    Hits:
    53131
  3. Tags
    Summary

    You're just an ordinary college student...with terrible secrets that could be life-threatening...the least of which is that you're a masochist...but when you find solace in a house of skeleton monsters, your secrets aren't safe for long. How long until the truth comes out? How long until you snap? Or they do?
    Your skeletons aren't in your closet anymore...they're all over the house!
    ----
    After everything you've been through, all the pain and the suffering, all the secrets you've spilled...you still have trouble trusting yourself.
    ----
    Part One: A Soul to Save (Ch. 1-30)
    Part Two: Forget-Me-Not (Ch. 31-45)
    Part Three: Time is Running Out (Ch. 46-???)
    Reader perspective, the "Reader" character is female.
    Changed username for reasons. Still me, still the same story.
    Inspired by "Six Skeletons and a Maid" by RaccoonSinQueen

    Explicit chapters marked with * or ** depending on severity, and TW are in the notes!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    244,080
    Chapters:
    73/?
    Comments:
    3118
    Kudos:
    2007
    Bookmarks:
    242
    Hits:
    41658
  4. Tags
    Summary

    You see... quarter pipe -> quarter hose -> quarter horse?
    ....
    Well, at least I find this hilarious.... <.<

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    55
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Various collections of shorts centered around the characters within Neurotoxinverse, generally between 500-1000 words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,842
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    456
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Torrential rain has barricaded both RED and BLU into their temporary bases at Sawmill, unable to battle given the tumultuous conditions outside.
    RED Team's supplies are dwindling, respawn's on the fritz and worst of all... their Scout is pinging off the walls, and eyeing the exits with increasing desperation. When the runner decides to do something ridiculous, he realises just how close the team has grown over time; and that perhaps, his interests aren't as one-sided as he first thought.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,765
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    37
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Can I take your order, lady?”
    “Caramel macchiato with whipped cream and sugar, purrlease!”

    You look up from the little electronic register thingy (you never bothered to learn its name) and see a girl wearing a blue hat shaped like a smiling, cartoonish cat face. She looks up at you, and you stare at her piercing olive eyes, and for all the world think you are looking at a panther, stalking it’s prey.

    Then, you realize that you’re staring like an idiot.

    She probably thinks you’ve either lost your marbles or had an aneurysm.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,302
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    230
  8. Tags
    Summary

    I was expecting a fair bit when I moved to Paris. New surroundings, new people, and maybe some snow. What I hadn't expected was to step off the plane and into a brand new world of magic and heroes. I suppose a quiet life was a bit too much to ask for after everything I had done, but would it have killed that old man to find me a job that wasn't in a school?

    Cross posted from FFN.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,747
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    167
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Aubrey really likes Dani. But apparently she just can't have some peace for once, as new obstacles reveal themselves and old ones learn new tricks.

    (Kind of an interlude before I get into Actual Plot with how I imagine the Amnesty story would continue!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,888
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    289
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When Yoongi walked into The Udder Side with his younger brother jungkook he did not expect to find a pink haired boy armed with bad puns and an intoxicating laugh shake up his world.

    This is a bad description but I swear the story is good and my grammar and punctuation is excellent :/ (at least I hope so)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,003
    Chapters:
    2/7
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    84
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A night out with your roommates' sorority sounded like a good way to wind down from exams season, but your good intentions to keep from ruining someone's nice carpet have you end up in the middle of the forest. In the middle of the night. Very, very drunk.

    Good thing you found a random house to sidle up to and ask to use their phone. Less of a good thing that the skeleton monster that lives in it is only placated by your sloppy jokes.

    -

    Eventually going to culminate in a "Six Skeletons" sort of set-up, but you don't get off as easy by knowing Classic Sans first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,269
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    161
    Kudos:
    473
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    4351
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean are dead. Castiel arrives just a bit too late to save their lives but is able to save the Winchesters souls. Even as souls, they recognize Castiel's grace and remember who they are. They latch onto him and manage to escape the reapers, but are now on the run. What can two glowing smoky souls and one half powered angel do against all the reapers hell bent on throwing the Winchesters into the void?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,020
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    240
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2070
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After suffering a terrible injury, ex-Auror Alfred Pennyworth leaves Britain for America to work for a former school-friend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,420
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    556
  14. Tags
    Summary

    There's a boarding house in Tokyo occupied by boys attending a local college. Hysteria and romantic drama ensues when a female tenant is left in charge of her group of friends who all happened to play volleyball together in high school.

    This is an AU fanfiction for the series "Haikyuu!" that focuses on the character Yamaguchi Tadashi and his girlfriend, an original character made by me. It's also self-indulgent because I love my boy so, so much and this is my first real fanfic, lol. I hope you enjoy!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,881
    Chapters:
    32/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    473
  15. Tags
    Summary

    You're a happy person. You always like to look on the bright side of things.

    On your way home from work, you get completely drenched by pouring rain. You decide to hide in a nearby apartment building, but the lady at the welcome desk keeps giving you a very unwelcoming look. That just means you have to buzz one of the rooms, right? Then you'll appear as though you belong there! Your outgoing attitude combined with your ceaseless positivism leads you to press a button labelled 402. A few puns later, the stranger on the other end warms up to you, and the two of you talk until the rain dies down.

    Maybe the rain isn't so bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    140,279
    Chapters:
    104/?
    Comments:
    6483
    Kudos:
    3138
    Bookmarks:
    342
    Hits:
    50104
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Okay, I won't be hard on you“

    Like hell.

    “Just a simple question and then you can go back to hiding behind Wonshik.“

    Good plan. Wait, did he just agree with Hakyeon? That's not good.

    “Of the people in this room ...“

    Oh no, he hated those kinds of questions. Those always ended badly for him.

    “... who would you kiss and why?“

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,905
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2318
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Джон – несовершенный* человек, но для Шерлока он совершенен! Сказка о временах и нравах!

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    715
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    83
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Au in which Bruce never went to see Zorro in crime ally with his parents
    Dick never became the first robin
    Jason never stole the batmobile tiers
    Tim never figured who batman was
    And Damien was never born

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,775
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1735
  19. Tags
    Summary

    taehyung wishes he can go back to where yoongi was, but the routine just comes automatic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,810
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    300
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Is Swapfell Sans really the brat they make him out to be, or is he hiding underneath a mask to throw em' all off?

    Everyone think HE'S the bad guy. Everyone thinks HE abuses his big brother. Everyone thinks HE'S the one who's in the wrong. But the truth is?

    They're got it all flipflopped.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,111
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1378

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