1 - 20 of 159 Works in Patrick Brewer is a Troll

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This sequel-of-sorts directly follows on from the last chapter of 'You Again. Always.'.

    ***

    Patrick and David's first date at the café turns into more than just lunch. It becomes an opportunity to ask questions, to share more about themselves than they ever have with anybody else, and of course, the inability to keep their hands and mouths off each other.

    So much fluff, copious amounts of kissing, ever-present trolling and hilarity, and a tenderness that will warm your heart. And smut - always smut.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,881
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1562
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The man turns around, chair letting out a long screech at the motion. He sticks up a hand in greeting. “Hey man.”

    David narrows his eyes. “’Hey’? Is that all you have to say after annoying me all day?!”

    --

    David deals with a frustrating new coworker.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,611
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    716
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Rose apothecary has a TikTok, that's the entire fic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    224
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    325
  4. Tags
    Summary

    This 'Scattergorically Incorrect' series is based on husbands who love games nights as much as they love their sex lives, so they (accidentally on purpose) merge the two.

    Round Three: David has a plan. Patrick sticks to that plan. They both play the game as it should be played. Trolling and feelings and laughter ensues. Sex is not off the table... Nor on it, unfortunately!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    58
    Hits:
    410
  5. Tags
    Summary

    5 times David was forced to listen to incorrect Christmas music (+1 time he wasn't)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,840
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1341
  6. Tags
    Summary

    What do you do when Michael Seater releases a video of Canadians trudging through the snow in a very High Art film? You turn it into a David & Patrick fic, of course!

    Hoorah, hoorah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    966
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    356
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A Sunday morning trolling by one Patrick Brewer involving one thesaurus, one annoyed David Rose and one assist by Stevie Budd.

    [Podfic of Word Play by dazedwriter]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    191
  8. Tags
    Summary

    This 'Scattergorically Incorrect' series is based on husbands who love games nights as much as they love their sex lives, so they (accidentally on purpose) merge the two.

    Round Two: David is inspired. Patrick is confused. David has a plan. Patrick fucks up again, but this time, quite literally. Sexy times guaranteed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,964
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    856
  9. Tags
    Summary

    This 'Scattergorically Incorrect' series is based on husbands who love games nights as much as they love their sex lives, so they (accidentally on purpose) merge the two.

    Round One: Patrick fucks up. David has a plan. Patrick changes that plan. Sexy time ensues...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,585
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1136
  10. Tags
    Summary

    David has a clusterfuck of a day while living in Schitt’s Creek.
    Patrick has an overwhelming day as he moves into town.
    David and Patrick don’t know each other (yet) but their lives intersect continuously throughout the day and night.
    A meet-ugly turns into an awkward meet-cute, resulting in so much mutual pining and self-discovery. And hot, tender smut, with a smattering of hilarity thrown in.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,853
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    124
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3413
  11. Tags
    Summary

    David swaps out his spring/summer knits for his fall/winter knits. Patrick helps.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    442
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “I just think it’s rude to be up at the crack of dawn making way too much noise and waking everyone up with your little truck.”

    “You know, some people have to get up at the 'crack of dawn' for work, and they need the roads clear,” Patrick points out. "No one's ever complained about having clear roads."

    David sputters, “Well consider this a complaint! A-a formal complaint. In fact, I want to speak to your manager.”

    OR

    It's David's first winter in Schitt's Creek, and the stupid snowplow driver Patrick is irritating him to no end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,980
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1275
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "What the fuck is a polar bear dip?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,620
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    412
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A Greater Elms local radio station hosts an elimination style Christmas Carol singing contest. Blouse Barn is one of the sponsors and David is forced to have the radio show play each week while working at the store. Although he hates most of it, one contestant is actually pretty good.

    After work, Stevie and David keep running into a new guy at the Wobbly Elm who seems to enjoy teasing David. David can't stand him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,090
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    462
  15. Tags
    Summary

    David agrees to participate in the first-ever Great Schitt's Creek Holiday Bake-Off, planned by Alexis, to support the store. He's paired with a certain snippy baker for the competition. Flour-covered hijinks ensue!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,380
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    988
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Stevie corrals David into some vulgar, drunken caroling they land at Patrick’s house. That’s all you get. :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,618
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1027
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Rose Apothecary is heading into its first holiday season with a fully functional webstore. The orders are rolling in and profits have never been better.

    There is just one thing about the whole holiday internet shopping experience David cannot stand most of all. Patrick is going to be a troll about it, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    184
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    827
  18. Tags
    Summary

    David gets creative when his esthetician is not available to perform certain personal spa services. It goes about as well as can be expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,512
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1067
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “So.”

    “So,” David echoes, not looking up from the paper, thoroughly engrossed in an article titled What Kenzo Left Behind. Patrick knows enough now to recognize “Kenzo” as the name of a fashion designer; five years practice removing designer clothing is finally rubbing off on him.

    “So I ordered 40,000 bees yesterday.”

    David’s entire upper body straightens at once, mouth set in a firm line echoing the sudden stiffness of his spine, brow impossibly flat. Admittedly, Patrick broke the news in this manner precisely to experience this full and honest reaction.

    “What.”

    “Honeybees. I ordered two packages.”

    David blinks.

    “What.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,946
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2130
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick wrote a new song for David.

    David isn't sure how he feels about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    442
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    692

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