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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Number Five is a child when the Handler first pulls him from the ashen wastelands of the apocalypse. This is no mistake, no impulse born of impatience; she could have leisurely plucked him from any point in time after all. He is simply easier to control this way, easier to discipline, to mold into her ideal weapon.

    Oh, and she just loved those adorable little shorts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,163
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    20
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Five returns home after the disaster that became of his trip to Ireland to find that his siblings have mended some of the bridges between them and are prepared to take down Reginald Hargreeves.

    But, there's a lot to be done before they can even consider what that entails - and a suspicious sister, untold truths and family politics aren't helping matters. It's going to take all of the academy's strength and power to take down their father's throne once and for all.

    This is the story of how they failed.

     

    A direct sequel to my story Wanderer.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,364
    Chapters:
    17/20
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    3560
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Luther scowled. “Do you guys smell barbeque?”

    Oh crap, Allison thought twelve seconds before the tiny embers on Luther’s back hairs were stroked by a passing breeze.

    Stanley screamed and stumbled backwards until he ran into Diego, eyes wide in horror. “He’s on fire!”

    “Your back is on fire!” Diego yelled.

    Luther screamed and tried to slap at the flames protruding from his back like wings. “I’M ON FIRE!”

    Otherwise known as: The Umbrella Academy goes to Malibu

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,776
    Chapters:
    5/20
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    738
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Here is the second book following my first "The many unlucky instances of Number Five".
    Angst shots of Five, not much more to be told.

    Also not taking requests.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,422
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    633
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    16432
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Five was starting to realize he couldn't get a break. After season four they have their powers but the family still splits up, wanting and needing time to themselves. Five and Umbrella Ben stay behind, only for Five to get attacked by commission and saved by Ben. They go to a motel where Ben takes care of the wounds and much needed bonding is spent.

    I suck at summaries, just trust the tags

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,103
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    181
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Five took a breath. He let it out slowly. 

    "I'm sorry, ok? For everything. I really am - no, don't interrupt me." He made a shooeing motion back towards his siblings but he didn't turn around. This was hard enough to get through, and he didn't want any interruptions until he was done.
    ---

    Five's internal monologue, following the canon events of The Umbrella Academy
    Ch1: Prologue, indeterminate time
    Ch2: S1E1
    Ch3: S1E2

    NEW: S3E4
    ---

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,203
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2428
  7. Tags
    Summary

    What if Five Hargreeves was a robot? What if he was a prototype for Grace? What if he was made to spy on the Hargreeves siblings?
    I am rewriting the entire Umbrella Academy series in the AU that Five is a robot. Shit actually gets done.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,771
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    518
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Lila wasn't expecting her mom to recruit a literal child out of the apocalypse, but she can't really say that she's surprised. Still, it would help if she knew more about this tiny, feral, child that she is now stuck with.

    Series
    • Part 1 of Gun
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,328
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1096
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Michelle has been a CPS worker for decades. She loves her job, but some families are more difficult than others.

    The Hargreeves family are proving to be the most difficult case she's had in years. A random teenager is living in the mansion, and none of them will admit that the kid is theirs. Oh and the child seems to think they're a fifty-eight year old time traveller.

    She loves her job, right?

    (A brief interlude between "This is a Gift" and the upcoming sequel)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,005
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    419
  10. Tags
    Summary

    [ TAKES PLACE AFTER S2]

    Upon getting back into their correct timeline, Allison Hargreeves has one chance to make things right.

    OR;

    Allison gets Five as her son and Five gets a childhood he skipped out on; with a few new surprises.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,393
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    304
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Five Hargreeves doesn’t leave the Academy when he’s 13. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t become an assassin.

    In which Reginald had bigger plans for Five and doesn’t let him go quite so easily, and the Hargreeves come together in 2019 only to discover that preventing the apocalypse involves helping more than one sibling.


    November 10, 2002.

    In one world, Five Hargreeves gets fed up with his father and his father’s inane rules. He storms out the front door and jumps to a future where he spends the next four decades living with smoke and ash, isolation and death.

    In another world, Reginald Hargreeves has plans for Number Five. In that world, Reginald appeases him, at least temporarily. The day that follows finds Five on the floor of his father’s office, a monocle sitting over his left eye, gasping through unbidden tears.

    “How do we stop it?” he asks.

    Reginald stares down at his son. “You will be my scalpel.”

    And, like the proverbial road not taken, it makes all the difference.

    (Or, depending on your perspective, hardly any difference at all.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,172
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    6005
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In 2019 the world ended and the whole family died, but a boy skipped time and found himself alone in a post-apocalypitic land trying to survive and stay sane.
    On the other side, his family took notice of his absence in the void and the sibling closest to death decides to look for him, going as far as to escape death itself to be by his side.

    Or in which Klaus comes back to life to support Five in his personal hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,448
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    6341
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Viktor is training on his own...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    369
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    70
  14. Tags
    Summary

    With the Hargreeves returned to their original timeline with Five still trapped in a teenage body and no legal guardians or place to call home, it’s not long before the state’s involvement and a couple of court cases before his placement into the foster system.

    It isn’t like it really matters anyway. Five can spatial jump and travel through time. A pesky foster family that aren’t particularly nice aren’t ever getting in the way.

    But when the lives of his siblings are endangered yet again by an unknown source full of blackmailing threats, Five realises he’s run out of options.

    So he does what he’s asked. He avoids his siblings, stays put in his temporary home, and does everything in his power to keep them safe. Besides, it’s not as if they have to know, right?

    Then he kills his foster father.

    And things start to get very, very complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,502
    Chapters:
    24/30
    Comments:
    814
    Kudos:
    1558
    Bookmarks:
    291
    Hits:
    35641
  15. Tags
    Summary

    After losing your little sister Paz to the Handler, you are stranded in a different timeline in which you have to find the "Hargreeves" to rescue her. From there you are stuck with a completely chaotic family, and to your annoyance, a 58-year-old boy that can't seem to stop teasing you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,257
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    88
  16. Tags
    Summary

    hiraeth
    /ˈhirˌīTH/
    noun.
    a deep longing for something, especially one’s home.

    in which five hargreeves lands not in the courtyard of his childhood home, but an old military bunker. now, the prevention of the apocalypse rests on the shoulders of two hunters and an angel. it should be easy. after all, they’ve done it before.

    but when one is housing the most dangerous assassin in the space time continuum, things can get messy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,765
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    143
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Five, finding the words to describe what happened to him at the hands of the Handler.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,430
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    410
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Takes place in season 2. What if Five had been the one to find Diego after the fight with their dad instead of Lila?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,320
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1384
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Five is chronologically challenged.

    Ever since he was five years old, Five has been time travelling uncontrollably to different points in his and Klaus’ lives - whether he has experienced them already or not. The displacements were mostly harmless when he was a child, and an older Klaus would sneak him out for doughnuts - but they became a lot more important after he stranded himself in the apocalypse, figuring out how to survive, and how to stop it all from ever happening.

    Or: How would Five’s survival in the apocalypse, and his mission to save his family, be affected if he couldn’t control his time-travelling?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121,347
    Chapters:
    36/50
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    966
    Kudos:
    826
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    19384
  20. Tags
    Summary

    She showed up a few weeks into the apocalypse.

    (In all honesty, a rather inconvenient time to show up, but, as Five would learn, she had a habit of showing up at inconvenient times).

    He had been scrounging around the barren wasteland that had devolved from perfect brownstone buildings, once a testament to the old money of New York, now a desolate pile of rubble and ash, when he heard a sound.

    Not a familiar sound. Nothing like the sounds he’d gotten used to over the past three weeks of tiles shifting, wood splintering, or bricks tumbling away like Jenga.

    A completely unfamiliar sound. A sound he hadn’t heard since he found himself in the dystopian future.

    Someone else.

    Behind him, someone else cried out.

    Or, the chronicles of Five Hargreeves and his non-linear friendship with the only other person occasionally cursed to get stuck in the apocalypse over his forty-five years (and then some) trying to get back to his family.

    He thought that, with everything his life has already entailed, it can't get any more bizarre. (He's wrong).

    Title taken from "Dancing With Your Ghost" by Sasha Alex Sloan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,728
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    117

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