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Nandor's ghost is a little smitten with his familiar. Nandor is annoyed. Guillermo just wants to do his job in peace for once.
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After Nandor and Nadja fall in love (which they seem to do every few decades, only for it to end in tears), Laszlo decides to travel to Pennsylvania, don his blue jeans, and become Jackie Daytona again! Only this time, he reluctantly takes a lovesick human dumpling and a mind-numbing energy vampire along for the ride. Once in Clairton, he sets up a new bar generously donated to him by some guy he drank, and revisits some old friends. Eventually he finds himself falling for Guillermo, oh no. Also Colin finds love. Drinks are on Jackie!
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The creators talked about the possibility of our vampires having a pet in season 3...and I couldn't resist.
Series
- Part 5 of Family
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[podfic] my heart is in my hand (yeechh!) by luftnarp-podfic (secretsofluftnarp), secretsofluftnarp
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
16 Feb 2021
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Author Summary:
A few things have changed around the house as of late. Guillermo and Nandor try to have a long-overdue talk. They mostly fail.Additional author tags: a lot of sex talk but nothing graphic, it's all for the goofs folks, nandor is canonically into painplay and you're gonna HEAR about it, colin robinson is having a great day
podfic of my heart is in my hand (yeechh!) by howlikeagod
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Nandor the Relentless had 37 wives. He really loved 35 of them. This is the story of his relationship with just one of those wives.
**Chapter 10 Summary**
Nandor's and Andrakis's initial weekend plans are foiled, so their date must be postponed. He's sad at first, but time spent with Guillermo is just the cure he needs. Then the vampire gets way more than he bargained for when he decides to show up at Andrakis's place unannounced for surprise date. -
Happy Valentine's Day (Now Please Stop Crying) by singing_to_shipwreck (shocked_into_shame)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
14 Feb 2021
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my entry for HeartlessMemo's Who We Smooch in the Shadows challenge, inspired by the prompts "lovesick" and "cuddling"
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Guillermo discovers the first candy heart on his pillow. He opens his eyes one late afternoon in early February and sees it, a small, pink, heart shaped lump of sugar, sitting close enough so that it shows up as a pink blur without his glasses on.
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Five Gigs That Went Wrong + One That (mostly) Didn´t by Pure Self-Indulgence (Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
14 Feb 2021
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Colin got them a gig at a co-worker´s extremely goth grandchild´s birthday party
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“AAAAAHHHHH, THAT SMELL!!!” Nadja raised her right hand to pinch her nose closed and pointed at Nandor with the left. “I’m used to the stench coming from Guillermo’s groin, but you too, Nandor? My little nose cannot take this.”
Guillermo and Nandor both rolled their eyes. “What are you getting on about, Nadja? Guillermo, do I stink?”
“I don’t smell anything,” Guillermo replied.
“It’s from his groin. Your groin is just as sad as bloody Guillermo’s. Tell him, Laszlo!”
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The sad stench from Nandor's groin has finally thrown Nadja over the edge, so she decides to set him up on a date with her friend. Nandor and Guillermo aren't too thrilled with the idea, but they go along with it to shut her up. That is, until they realize she may be right, more or less.
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What We Did to Celebrate the Rest of Our Lives by in_deepest_blue
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (TV), Good Omens (Radio)
13 Feb 2021
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While in New York for the America leg of Aziraphale and Crowley's honeymoon around the world, Crowley takes Aziraphale to visit some old friends for some catching up — and, of course, to formally introduce his angel husband.
Chap. 1: The Staten Island vampires prepare for Aziraphale and Crowley's visit.
Chap. 2: Nadja opens up about her long friendship with Crowley, and Laszlo gets the idea to invite Aziraphale and Crowley to an orgy.
Chap. 3: Aziraphale and Crowley get deja vu observing Nandor and Guillermo, and Aziraphale can't help but relate to our favorite familiar.
Chap. 4: It's not every day that you get a job offer that sounds too good to be true. Aziraphale asks Colin Robinson if he'd like to manage A.Z. Fell and Co.
Chap. 5: Crowley isn't the only one with supernatural friends in New York—Lilith invites Aziraphale to drop by her shop for some chit-chat.
Chap. 6 (Epilogue): Adam's powers manifest yet again on his 12th birthday, causing Aziraphales and Crowleys from different universes to converge. One Aziraphale–Crowley pair is down to meet the Staten Island vampires for some horny shenanigans.
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Maybe We Could Buy Another Blanket. by TheFakeBlondeOne
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
10 Feb 2021
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It's morning, it's cold, and someone stole the blanket again.
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Nandor orders Guillermo to lose his pesky virginity to deflect from how he ruined his familiar’s 25th birthday party. Guillermo struggles with the string of sad hookups that never quite make it past first base, how irritating it is being in love with his boss, and a new crush on his lye supplier.
"Most of his hookups hadn’t wanted to kiss at all, to deal with any kind of foreplay. But how could he explain to Nandor that he could have made it happen, but found himself holding back? In the back of his mind, Guillermo knew he was holding out for something better.
But what did it matter, if he couldn’t have either of them?"
Series
- Part 3 of Love Bites
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This is a man's world by Strange_doll_from_Hell for Emma
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
01 Feb 2021
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Second prompts (two months late, sorry!!!!)
The vampires think that humans have solved the problem of sexual violence... Nadja corrects them.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,591
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 49
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For Old Times' Sake by in_deepest_blue
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
31 Jan 2021
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Lady Dimitrescu and Nadja, two old friends catching up after not seeing each other for so long, exchange some pillow talk after a tryst.
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Things My Heart Used to Know by HeartlessMemo for SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
26 Jan 2021
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Post-Season 2 Episode 9 (Witches). Nandor catches Guillermo before he leaves and accidentally gives him the brain scramblies. Angst, guilt, fluff and dub con ensue as Nandor tries to manage the Consequences of his Actions.
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Nandor discovered the first clue upon waking for the evening. Guillermo stood, as always, at his master’s coffin-side waiting to assist him. But when Nandor threw open the heavy lid he found his familiar standing there with a vacant smile, clutching about two dozen spoons in his pudgy little hands.“Here, master!” Guillermo gushed, dumping the spoons onto Nandor’s lap and looking up with big, hopeful eyes. “I got these for you! Do you like them?”
...A memory from the previous night cast an unwelcome shadow over his mind: waving his hand in front of his familiar’s face and speaking carelessly: Guillermo, you will forget.
Ah, shit.
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“Your scars made you into something that you liked to be,” says Nandor.
Guillermo looks down. At his lap, at the interlocking of their fingers where both their hands are still pressed against his bare chest.
“Well,” Guillermo says slowly around an audible swallow, “at the very least, your scars make you look badass, master.”
Nandor stares at him.
He could close the distance between them right now. He really could. They’re sitting impossibly close to each other, knees against each other in little pads of pressure, warm against cool, human against vampire. Neither of them is moving. Guillermo’s breath puffs against his skin, close enough for Nandor to feel it and suppress a shiver.
He could just dip down his head and press his lips against Guillermo’s right now, and close his eyes and drink in his taste and savor him slowly, and he could finally, finally know what it feels like.
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Nandor asks Guillermo to give him a modern makeover in preparation for a date. Little does Guillermo know the date is with him.Series
- Part 2 of Tender Is the Night
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“Then there’s dry cleaning, which happens multiple times a week, because Laszlo insists on wearing white whenever he’s drinking, and there’s handwashing all the stuff that can be handwashed, and dusting and fertilizing and gardening and taxes--”
“Taxes?”
“Yes, master, taxes.”
“I was not aware of these taxes! We have dominion over our street!” Nandor waves his hands around. “And over Ashley Street. But that is not the point. Why do we pay taxes?”
“...Because we live in a house, master.”
Nandor growls. “But I ate the guy who owns this house. Now I own it. I don’t owe anything to anybody.”
Guillermo glances around for the non-existent cameras, helpless. “America doesn’t work that way, master.”
“Yeesh.” Nandor grimaces. “I miss the days when you could pillage a village and declare no taxes because you were the new people living in it.”
Guillermo...is pretty sure that’s not how the Ottoman Empire worked, either, but he lets it slide.
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Nandor asks Guillermo to braid his hair one night, inspired by the Pin-ter-est, and it somehow ends with Guillermo coming out as trans.Series
- Part 1 of Tender Is the Night
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My Babysitter's a Vampire by Magic_Mushroom
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
22 Jan 2021
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I loved the Superb Owl party episode with Shaun's mother Joan.
Also the idea that Nadja used to babysit Joanie as a little girl.Hope you all enjoy.
Kudos and comments are appreciated.
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All These Broken Pieces by wonderlandiscrumbling
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
22 Jan 2021
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It's tempting for Guillermo to just go back to the Staten Island house and fall back into his old life, but too much has changed since the events at the theatre and he is no longer the same person he was.
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You're Dead (and Outta This World) by TheOceanIsMyInkwell
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
21 Jan 2021
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“Holy shit!” shouts the EMT at his side. His partner on the other side of the gurney--the other side of the body bag--follows up with a well-deserved holy fuck and stumbles backward over her boots to sag against the back of the open ambulance.
“I’m fine, I’m fine, oh God, I’m sorry,” Guillermo babbles. His knees are trembling. He wriggles out of the body bag and hops to his feet, feeling like his legs are a cross between jello and underbaked macaroons, and he repeats his litany of apologies as he bounces from one foot to another to restore circulation.
Pain shoots through his joints from the roots of his toes. He ignores it, instead pivoting his head from side to side wildly seeking the detritus of his phone and groceries.
“Sir! Sir! You were--sir, please get back here! You were dead!”
“Not today, sorry!”
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Or: 3 times Guillermo came back from the dead, and 1 time Nandor was there to see it.